Supposedly, she was in love with Brad Jackson. And they were the perfect couple. He was an honor student all the way, Key Club, quarterback, blue-eyed, blond-haired, could-trace-his-ancestors-back-to-the-Mayflower great. But beneath his polished veneer—just every once in a while—he wasn’t quite so nice. Her folks never saw it. They saw his all-American parents, officers in the yacht club, civic duty to a T. And Brad was okay. She knew him well enough, liked him— but knew what not to like as well.
Sean dated Mandy Olin. She was his age, voluptuous, a little wild, mad about him—and the child of rich folks as well. They didn’t approve of Sean. That might have been half the reason Mandy dated him. Except that he was great. Everybody liked Sean. He never backed down in a fight, but he never started one, either.
Lori had always been in love with Sean.
Secretly, of course. She had her pride, and as long as he was with Mandy, she’d never let him know. Even those few times when they’d met on some different level, she’d been flippant, keeping her true feelings quiet.
And now Sean was leaving. They were all going in different directions, of course, but since Sean would be taking summer courses at college, he’d be leaving soon. They were just kids— that’s what Lori’s mother told her all the time. Just kids. They shouldn’t take things too seriously. Lori was too young to really be in love with anyone. After all, her whole life stretched in front of her. Naturally, if she continued a relationship with a nice boy like Brad, it would be good. Just so long as she stayed away from kids like Michael and Sean Black. Bad blood. Lori needed to go to college and create a promising future for herself. She came from well-educated people, and she had the chance to go for everything—a master’s degree, a doctorate! They weren’t poor folks, not from the wrong side of the tracks, and she didn’t want to wind up pregnant, saddled with a child.
Normally, her mother was all right. A parent, but a decent sort of parent. Lori loved her mother. But in this instance her mother was blind. She didn’t begin to realize that there was no chance of Lori running off with Brad or, heaven forbid, having a baby with Brad. Although she was beginning to feel a little nervous about what had happened with Sean.
Her parents still gave her a hard time about their friendship. He lived in a tough section of Coconut Grove. His father was some kind of a security guard, for God’s sake. His mother was simply gone. He had a brother, Michael, one year older, who was constantly in trouble. He had another brother, Daniel, twenty already, in the service—no other choice, there’d been no future for the kid. They didn’t want her to be prejudiced against kids less fortunate than she was. It was just that Sean, with no mother, a broken-down father, and a brother with a record, didn’t have much chance; he and his kind were just bad news.
Except that he wasn’t. Gramps understood. Sometimes Sean could swagger. He was on the football team, and he was good. He had an afterschool job at a bookstore, and he still managed to keep a high B average. He was going to Florida State University on a scholarship—just a state school, but half the rich kids in the city went on to the same state schools, mainly because they could get in, and because they were known as party schools. Some of the state schools even had really great programs. But really smart rich kids went to Harvard or Yale, lazy or dumb rich kids went to state schools. Smart poor kids made it to state schools, and dumb poor kids wound up sleeping under bridges and drinking cheap booze out of brown paper bags. That was the way it went, according to her parents. Thankfully, Sean was a smart poor kid.
Not that it should have mattered. Sean thought he was her friend. No matter what emotions she was harboring all those years, he was in love—or lust, as the 4F club insisted—with Mandy. And Lori dated Brad.
Except for those few occasions when she and Sean met alone by chance, then there had been that one night…
Which was haunting her like crazy today.
They were all at the rock pit. The whole in crowd. They probably shouldn’t have gone swimming there all the time, but they did. It had been dug out for construction, then abandoned, in the southwest section of the city— it was dangerous, but cool. It ranged from twenty to fifty feet deep, and old wrecked cars had been junked in it, pines grew all around it, and it was off the beaten track. The ground around it was all like a white powdery sand, and it was great to stretch out on and tan, and the pines all around it provided perfect shelter for picnics. The way the ground had been dug out, there were all kinds of dunes and little private, tree-shaded copses as well.
Sean hadn’t been there when Lori had arrived with Susan Nichols and Jan Hunt. Neither had Brad. Last night had been grad night, and they’d all stayed out really late, and some of them were waking up slowly that morning.
Lori had a new bikini. It was cobalt-blue, and skimpy. Working carefully, she’d managed to get her pale skin to a fine tan, and she’d touched up her natural blond locks with a combination of vinegar and lemon—she could get away with that, her mother wouldn’t allow her to use any store-bought bleaches. She looked good that day, and she knew it. Her mother had wistfully told her that youth was beauty in itself, and she hadn’t even chastised her for the skimpy bikini. She’d just told her that she was beautiful. “Every kid’s mother tells her that, Mom,” Lori had protested. “No, honey, for real, you’re beautiful. Inside and out.” She should have felt great. Her folks had their hang-ups, but they were mostly all talk; they really weren’t too bad, and they did love her. They might have warned her against the Blacks, but they were always decent to Sean when he was over with the gang. She had one summer left, then she was off to college herself. Her brother, Andrew, one year her senior, just back from college for the summer, had quit acting like a complete jerk this year. Rather than constantly threatening to tell on one another now, they kept each other’s secrets.
Arriving at the rock pit, Susan, Jan, and Lori laid out their towels, popped open cans of soda, turned on the radio, and stretched out.
After a while Jan yawned and stretched. “I’m burning up. I’m going to hop in the water. Anyone coming?”
“I’ll go,” Susie said. “Lori?”
“Umm… not yet. I’m just beginning to feel the sun,” Lori said. That wasn’t true. She was hoping that Sean would show up, see her stretched out in her new bikini, decide that she was beautiful—inside and out—and profess his undying love and devotion.
“Okay, bake then. The guys should be along soon, huh?” Sue said. She was dating Lori’s brother, Andrew. Ugh. There was no accounting for taste. But then again, Andrew was better than Ricky Garcia—who was still a creep in Lori’s eyes—and Jan and he had been a hot item now for two years.
“Yeah, sure, the guys will be along soon,” Lori said.
When the other two girls left her, more people began to arrive. Andrew showed up with their cousin, Josh, who was a senior as well, and Jeff Olin, Mandy’s brother, Andrew’s age. Her brother was a traitor, hanging around with Jeff, she determined. But, of course, she couldn’t tell him so. She had to smile through her teeth, or else she’d give herself away. Her brother knew her too well.
Josh tickled her and called her kid. She was glad there was no one there to see. Josh could just act so damned superior—unless he was being nice to her because one of his college buddies had a crush on her.
Mandy arrived—without Sean. She came with a girlfriend, Ellie LeBlanc. They were both nearly naked, Ellie in a dark-patterned suit that complimented her light complexion and dark hair, and Mandy in an animal print that complimented everything about her. The two of them flirted with Andrew and Josh, then Ricky Garcia arrived, still hanging around with Ted Neeson, as he had been since junior high. Then Brad showed up with Michael Black. Brad came down on Susie’s towel next to Lori, running his hand over Lori’s bare midriff and kissing her lips. She tried hard not to make a face, or push his hand away. “What’s the matter with you?” he asked her, pale blue eyes flashing angrily.
Just call it off with the jerk, she told herself. But she felt guilt
y right away. Lots of the kids were sleeping together; she just didn’t want to sleep with him. He was the most popular guy in his class, he was smart, he was good-looking— she just didn’t want to. But if she could keep up the facade of being a steady thing together with just a few kisses and a little petting… “It’s just hot,” she lied.
But staring at her, he shook his head angrily. “It’s more than that. And you know what, Miss Orange Blossom? If you don’t want to do it, there are other girls who will.”
She stared at him, hoping that the others, still standing and talking, were unaware of the exchange.
“Look, I’m just not ready,” she lied.
“I’m a grown-up guy,” he told her. “With needs. It’s not like we’ve just started dating. God knows, I love you. Everyone is convinced we’ll get married.”
“But not yet. What if—”
“First of all, we’ll use protection. And if you get pregnant, we’ll just get married early.”
Her stomach tossed and turned.
“Brad, I’m just not ready.”
“Well, fuck you, then!” he said, his voice a taut whisper.
“Brad, don’t be mad—” she began, spurred by more than a twinge of guilt.
But he had stood, and already flirted with Mandy and Ellie along with the other guys. She closed her eyes, casting a crooked arm over them to shield them from the sun. “Hey, we’re going on down to the pit, kid!” her brother called to her. She waved a hand in the air. She heard laughter as they all headed off toward the water.
Her arm was still over her eyes when she felt someone come down beside her again. And then a subtle scent of well-known aftershave just lightly teased her senses, and she sat up with a jerk. Sean was next to her. He wasn’t laughing or smiling, and he wasn’t about to tease her. “Lori,” he said gravely.
“Sean.” She was instantly nervous, so afraid of making a fool of herself, of letting her heart show—and being rebuffed. She inclined her head. “Mandy headed for the water.” Just at that moment Ted Neeson came loping back toward them. “Hey, Lori, you gotta come see this one! Mandy’s got her top off, and the guys are playing keep-away with it. I— oh, Sean! Uh, hey, Sean! When did you get here? Sorry, buddy, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s all right,” Sean said evenly, dark blue eyes level, lips ruefully curled. “Mandy’s a big girl, a free agent. And her brother’s in the water, isn’t he?”
“Uh… yeah!”
“Then, I’m sure if she needs a rescue, he’ll provide it.”
“Yeah, sure,” Ted said, and quickly went back the way he had come. He looked nervous as hell, as if he wished he hadn’t been the one to bring such sordid tidings to Sean’s attention.
“Mandy’s a free agent?” Lori inquired. When pushed, Sean did have a bad temper. And he’d broken up with Mandy once before in their junior year when he’d been out of town with the football team and rumor had arisen about Mandy fooling around with Ricky. Mandy was a wicked flirt—but she always proclaimed herself madly in love with Sean—the only “real man” among the crowd. Rumor was that she’d been ready for a “real man” too, when Sean came along—she’d already fooled around with a number of older guys when they’d started dating, and she knew—in Jan’s words—just how to satisfy a guy.
Sean lifted his hands and shrugged. He was shirtless, and though he was still lean, he was already well muscled due to his football playing and the fact that he picked up any odd jobs mowing lawns and moving furniture for people whenever he could. He worked shirtless in the hot sun, so he was handsomely tanned, and he wore jeans cutoffs in which to swim. He had a serious look about him today and she found herself thinking that neither money nor a fancy home had much to do with making up a person; Sean was handsome with an arresting, strongly sculpted face, penetrating eyes, and a great height and body. She wanted to slip her arms around him then and there. She flipped back her hair instead.
“I’m off to school in just a few days. I’m headed to Tallahassee, and Mandy will be in Denver by September.” He shrugged, staring at Lori again. “Besides, she’s always been something of a wild woman, huh?”
Lori arched a brow. “You’re furious.”
He shrugged. “Not really. She’s—she’s just kind of a…” He paused, hesitating, then shrugged. “She’s just kind of a slut, and I can’t change that. While… God, Lori. I’m sorry about the other night. Really sorry.”
Her face burned. She looked straight ahead. He wasn’t going to tell her that she had changed his life, that he’d discovered he couldn’t live without her. He was just sorry. He’d behaved badly.
She didn’t speak.
He continued. “I was just so hurt…”
He had been hurt. Crushed. Five months ago, his brother Daniel had been reported MIA. He’d been assigned to a base in the Middle East, and had disappeared during a training mission. His status had been changed just the day before she’d come to see him. Daniel Black’s death had been confirmed. His body had been found in the desert—he’d been shot in the back of the head. Sean, who never drank, had been drinking. When she’d arrived, he’d been crying. Sean, who never cried.
Mandy hadn’t been with him. She’d had to go to some function at the Historical Society with her folks. Sean’s father had been out with old military friends, and his brother Michael had been with his own girl. Lori hadn’t been able to stay away. So they’d been alone. For hours and hours, and he’d talked, and talked, about how he’d loved Daniel, how Daniel had wanted to make a difference, how he’d told his brother that the service would pay for his education and help them all along. They’d get their father a fine new home eventually, pay him back for just loving them all and trying to do his best for them at all times…
“I’m sorry,” Sean said again, shaking his head. “So damned sorry. I’d never want to hurt you, Lori.”
She flipped her hair back again. “Don’t be stupid, Sean. You can’t hurt me. I mean… just as long as you never say anything. I wouldn’t want Brad to know what happened—or my folks.” He arched a brow, staring at her hard, and there was a disappointment in his eyes that caused a savage twisting of her insides.
“Lori, I think that we really need to talk. I have to say good-bye, and I want you to know—”
“Oh, God, please, I don’t want to talk—”
“Lori—”
“I don’t want to remember!” She leapt to her feet. “I don’t want to talk—and I don’t want to be caught alone together. Go find your wild girlfriend. Say good-bye to her.” Oh, God, she was going to burst into tears. He was sorry for her. Sorry. He pitied her. She was in love with him, and he pitied her. She couldn’t bear it.
“Lori—”
“Damn you, don’t be sorry! Mandy’s going to Denver, you’re going to Tallahassee, and I’m off to New York. All decided. Just leave me the hell alone!” she told him, and she jumped up and spun on her heels, almost running toward the water.
She plunged into it.
Everyone was involved in the keep-away game—even the other girls. Even Jeff—who seemed to be okay with his sister’s constantly outrageous behavior.
But when Mandy saw Lori, her laughing humor suddenly seemed to fade. “All right, that’s it, everybody’s had a good time, and every one of you pricks has managed to cop a feel. Now, give me the damned thing!” she demanded, when her bikini top landed in Brad’s hand. Her mountainous breasts bounced at surface level as she tied the top back on. “Assholes!” she accused the guys.
“Hey!” Andrew protested.
“What do you want from a cunt?” Ricky demanded.
“Ricky, come on, now,” Jeff said uncomfortably.
“Fuck you all,” Mandy told them.
“Ooh—sit on my face, baby!” Brad told her.
“Don’t you wish, frat-boy!” Mandy taunted. “What’s the matter, the prom queen won’t let you get it up, honey?”
The group hooted and catcalled, with only Lori feeling sick and crimson.
> Then they all fell silent, one by one, as Mandy, then Brad, and then the others saw Sean standing at the jump-off point. His blue eyes were nearly black. A blue vein beat a furious pulse at his throat.
“Sean…” Mandy breathed placatingly. She swam hard, crawling quickly from the water, approaching him. But when her hands fell on his shoulders, he turned away.
“Sean!” she cried, grabbing him again.
But he shook her off, and walked away.
Laughter was gone. They all emerged from the water. Brad stared at Lori, but she turned away from him, hurrying into the pines. She sat in the shadow of a group of trees, shaking.
She heard snatches of different arguments. Male voices, female voices. Then silence. She leaned back against a tree while the sun burned down around her and the morning ticked slowly by.
At last she emerged. Sean didn’t love her; Brad was an asshole. She could live with that. She was nearly eighteen; nearly an adult. Time to move on.
Except that…
Fear rushed through her once again. What if…
Then she heard the screaming. “Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, someone help!”
The first person she saw was Jan, who had been looking for her and was walking toward her on the path. Jan looked at her, lifting her shoulders. They stared at one another, then Lori leapt up.
They recognized that it was Ricky Garcia crying out. They both started running down the path that led to the water, and then around the rooted trail that skirted it. They could see Andrew, Jeff, Ted, and Ricky on the shore, with someone stretched between them. Then they could see Sean, racing like a madman toward the group of them, falling down beside them.
It was Mandy on the ground, and at first, as they came around the large rock pit, Lori thought that Sean was trying to kiss her and hold her. Then she realized that he was giving artificial respiration to her.