I was dying inside.
Landon slipped out, returning to the waiting area while I finished putting my clothes back on. He ended up buying me the two dresses I had tried on before the romper.
The sun was shining brightly as we walked back out onto the sidewalk. We paused just in front of his car.
Holding a large shopping bag, I said, “I’m gonna pay you back for all of these clothes you bought me today.”
“Fuck the clothes. You can pay me back by not running back to Michigan.”
I truly didn’t know how long I could stay out here; I had obligations. We hadn’t discussed an exact timeframe, but I knew I was going to have to return home soon. I couldn’t realistically stay more than a week.
“That reminds me, I should call work when we get back to your place and let them know I’ll be gone a week.”
He looked seriously disappointed. “A week? That’s all you can stay?”
“Well, for now, yes. I may be able to come back if I can save up.”
“Rana, I’ll sell my car if I have to. But I’ll pay for your tickets. Money will not keep me from seeing you again. Are you sure you can only stay a week? That’ll fly by so fast, and I feel like I need more time with you.”
“I don’t know how much time my boss will give me.”
Even though he looked disappointed, he took a deep breath in and said, “I understand.”
When we returned to Landon’s, I went to his room for some privacy. I called my boss to apologize for the way I’d left and told him that I was dealing with a family emergency across the country. He agreed to grant me the week off without pay.
Explaining my absence this week to Lilith was going to be harder.
I dialed her next and waited while her mother put her on the phone.
“Rana? Why are you calling me? You never call me. Are you in jail?”
That made me chuckle
“No. Everything is fine, but I wanted to let you know that I won’t be there tomorrow.”
“Great. I’m working on a paper about you and just wrote about how you never cancel on me.”
Shit. That really sucked.
“I’m sorry, Lilith.”
“Whatever. It’s fine. Anyway, why can’t you come?”
“You’re never going to believe this.”
“What?”
“I’m in California. I came to visit Landon.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Are you getting married?”
“No.” I laughed.
“If you do get married, I’d better be the flower girl.”
“Okay. That’s a guarantee.”
“I’m serious, Rana.”
I laughed. “You don’t need to worry about that, but okay.”
“Did you see any movie stars? Are you gonna be on TV?”
“No, and no…I certainly hope not.”
“When are you coming back?”
“In a week. I promise to come take you out as soon as I get home.”
“Is he as handsome as you thought?”
“Very.”
“Aren’t you gonna be sad to leave him?”
Closing my eyes, I said, “Very.”
“Are you stupid?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“I just wanted to see if you would answer with ‘very’ again. You already said it twice in a row.”
“Smart alec.”
“Are you gonna cry when you have to leave Landon?”
“I’m not sure. It’s possible.”
“Will you bring me back something?”
“Sure. I’ll bring you back a piece of California.”
“Not like sand in a Ziploc bag. I want a real gift. You should get it soon before you’re too sad to remember.”
“Okay, I’ll find something cool. I promise.”
After we hung up, the last call I made was to my father. Apparently, he’d freaked out when he arrived at my apartment for breakfast and didn’t find me there. He told me he’d started praying to Saint Anthony, patron saint of lost things, so that I would be found safe.
When I explained where I was, he offered to wire me money, which I told him I would definitely need to take him up on for the plane ticket home, even though I knew Landon would insist on paying for it.
Landon stood up from the couch after I emerged from making the phone calls in his bedroom. “Everybody covered?”
“Yes. Everyone that matters now knows I have not gone missing.”
“And Lenny is therefore not the prime suspect,” he joked.
“That’s very true.”
“Your dad is cool about you being here with me?”
“Yeah, actually, he really is.” I smiled. “He’s sort of dying for me to start dating.”
He laughed but then his expression turned serious. “Will you tell me why you haven’t?”
Unsure of how to answer, I said, “I already told you that when I was a teenager, I made the mistake of associating with the wrong guys. And now, as an adult, I seem to attract men who are only after one thing. I just decided I would be better off alone. Every time I think about putting myself out there, it just seems daunting. So, I haven’t.”
Landon apparently could see right through me.
He ran his hand along my hair and tucked a piece behind my ear. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
I stayed silent.
“Did someone hurt you?” My lack of response caused him to draw his own conclusion as he said, “It’s okay. I don’t expect you to tell me everything overnight. But I do want to know.”
I closed my eyes as he cupped my cheek. When I opened them, I turned the tables and asked, “Have you told me everything there is to know about you?”
“No, I haven’t,” he answered without hesitation. “And I’m not going to take things to the next level with you until I have. That’s why I’ve been sleeping on the couch. But I think this week should just be about getting acclimated to one another—who we are now—rather than making false judgments based on how the past defines us.” He slid his hand down my arm. “I’m serious about not wanting to fuck this up. What do you say? How about we live in the present for at least a few days…take it slow…just enjoy life…and get to know each other in person as friends. Deal?”
“Friends…” I smiled.
“Yes…friends.” He held out his hand. “Deal?”
I took it. “Deal.”
He kept his hand firmly gripped around mine as we just stared at each other. Neither of us would be the first to let go, and then suddenly out of nowhere he pulled me into him. The next thing I knew, his lips were enveloping mine. The move was so sudden, so unexpected that I nearly peed myself.
He groaned as he pushed slowly into my mouth.
“Fuck,” he said over my lips.
The feel of his metal tongue ring flicking around was enough to make me lose all of my inhibitions. He tasted like sugar and cigarettes, and all I wanted anymore in this life was to just keep doing this. I hadn’t realized exactly how starved I was, how badly I had needed this contact. But going from zero to Landon was like not eating for years only to be met with the most decadent of foods.
I dug my fingers into the short strands of his hair, pushing him deeper and deeper into my mouth. His kiss grew harder as I fell back onto the couch. His hard body was now over me. Instead of feeling scared, I welcomed his strength.
Desperate sighs escaped me into his mouth. The feelings brewing inside of me as we kissed were unlike anything I had ever felt before. The last male to ever be on top of me was basically a teenage boy. This was a muscular man, one whose sounds of hunger, albeit deeper in tone, were matching my own. It scared me how willing I would’ve been to just give him whatever he wanted.
We kissed for what felt like several minutes, although truly there was no concept of time. I felt like I could have kept kissing him forever. Drowning in an abyss of desire, I wasn’t sure if I could’ve stopped even if the bui
lding was on fire.
The problem with something that felt this good was that it was never enough, particularly for someone like me, who’d gone so long without so much as touching a member of the opposite sex.
I needed to feel his body. When I tried to slip my hands under his T-shirt, he reached for them and immediately locked my wrists before pulling himself off of me.
His head was against the back of the couch as he panted, looking as though he’d just escaped from something.
I felt mortified. “I’m…I’m sorry.”
He placed his hand on my leg. “No, no, no…you have nothing to be sorry about. Don’t you dare apologize.”
Landon’s face was red. He looked just as worked-up as I felt. His erection was bursting through the denim of his jeans. He was clearly aroused, so why did he stop?
Not sure if I really wanted to know the answer, I asked, “Why did you pull away?”
“Believe me, I want your hands all over me. I just had to push back because I was afraid I would lose control. I’m not going to be satisfied until I’m deep inside of you, Rana, and I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret. That felt way too good, and I was a few seconds from saying ‘fuck it,’ moving too fast, and messing things up.”
“It was fine. It was just kissing.”
“That was not just kissing. It won’t ever be just kissing with you. Ever.”
“No, I guess it wasn’t.”
“You were starting to undress me. I had to stop.”
Feeling a bit stupid, I admitted, “I wanted to feel your skin.”
“If you haven’t been with anyone in as long as you say, then you’re fragile. I can’t move as fast as my body would like, as much as I want to. That would be a mistake.”
As much as my body resisted that thought, I knew he was right.
“Well, thank you for looking out for me even when I’m not looking out for myself.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder and looked up as he gazed down at me.
He groaned, “Fuck…see…you merely look at me, and I need to kiss you again.”
I sighed. “So, kiss me…”
He gave in, planting a firm kiss on my lips. “No touching,” he spoke over my mouth. “Just kissing. Okay?”
Smiling over his lips, I said, “That’s gonna be hard to uphold.”
“Very fucking hard.”
PRIVATE DANCE
Meeting Landon’s friends so soon was a huge deal. I didn’t have a lot of time with him, and I wanted to experience what his life here in California was like. He tried to assure me that we didn’t have to go out, but I convinced him otherwise, because I was really curious.
When we showed up to the Sunset Rooftop Bar, I recognized Ace immediately. He was seated next to a man and a woman, who were sitting close enough for me to assume that they were a couple.
The décor was really cool with several lanterns lighting up the night. A bar that seemed to be illuminated in purple was situated in the middle of the action. We were surrounded by abnormally beautiful people; that was definitely not something I was used to back home. Most of the time, I was the center of attention in a crowded room. Here, I just blended in.
Landon put his hand on the small of my back as he introduced me to his friends, who were seated on cushioned benches in the corner.
“Rana, you know Ace. And this is Dave and his girlfriend, Mia.”
Dave, a tall, blond dude stood up and shook my hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Mia did the same. “Hey, Rana.” She was pretty, exotic looking, maybe half-Asian. She flashed a natural smile.
Ace chugged his beer, spilling some onto his beard and let out a slight burp. “Rana’s a belly dancer.”
Mia’s eyes widened. “That is so cool—much more fun than being an occupational therapist like me. I wish I could dance for a living.”
Landon squeezed my waist as he said, “It’s not easy doing it day in and day out, people groping you and shit. Rana tells me a lot of stories.”
I smiled at him. “It can be fun sometimes, I suppose, depending on the night.”
“Tell them about the snake,” Landon said.
“Oh.” I chuckled. “Yeah, my boss sometimes makes me dance carrying a snake around my shoulders.”
Mia gasped. “Are you joking? That would totally freak me out!”
Nodding, I said, “It was weird at first, but I got used to it. It’s amazing how many more tips it gets me, so I’ve learned to live with it.”
Landon and I took a seat across from them. He smacked my knee playfully. “Rana’s a trooper. Always up for anything. Ever since we were young.”
Dave seemed surprised that Landon and I had a history. “You guys have known each other for a while, then?”
I looked at Landon before offering my own spin on our story. “We were friends in junior high for about a year before I moved. I hadn’t seen Landon since I was thirteen, until we recently got back in touch.”
“That’s so sweet,” Mia gushed. “How did this reunion come about?”
Landon apparently decided the truth needed to be sugarcoated. “Rana was thinking of me one night out of the blue and decided to look me up.”
Mia looked at Dave. “So romantic.”
Not.
“It would’ve been romantic if I wasn’t drunk as a skunk when I dialed him.”
Ace spit out a bit of his drink. “Now that…is fucking awesome.”
“Landon here is trying to make me out to sound classier than I am.”
“Yeah, she drunk dialed me.” He laughed and seemed truly relieved that I was comfortable around his friends.
Over the next hour, we told stories about our childhood and our reconnection. With each sip of my drink, the night was seeming more and more chill.
At one point, Ace turned to me. “Hey, show us some of your dance moves.”
Landon scolded him, “Ace…”
“No, it’s fine. I dance for strangers all the time. I’m happy to dance for your friends.” I stood up and faced them. “Okay, so one of the moves is called a Figure Eight. This is a standard movement where one hip moves opposite from the other on a vertical plane. One hip moves down, away from the body, up, and then back to the center. The other hip moves up, into the center, down, and then away from the body.”
I demonstrated the dance repeatedly as their eyes stayed glued to my hips.
“Basically like drawing the number eight with your ass,” Ace said.
“Sort of, yeah. And then, of course, my hands can be doing a number of things, either clicking the finger cymbals, waving around rhythmically, or sometimes carrying a gigantic reptile.”
My skin was jiggling as I began to wiggle my hips at a higher rate of speed, demonstrating one of the faster moves.
This guy who happened to be passing by saw me dancing. He briefly placed his hand on my waist and said, “Keep shaking it, gorgeous.”
Landon’s face turned red, and his eyes were piercing. It looked like he wanted to kill someone. Luckily, the dude didn’t stick around and was gone before a blow-up could occur. Landon’s eyes followed the guy around for a bit, though.
Shaking it out until I finally came to a stop, I said, “Anyway, that’s a little sample for you.”
The four of them clapped for me as I sat back down.
Landon’s moment of jealousy passed as he looked at me proudly, once again seeming truly relieved that I was so at ease around his friends.
He leaned into my ear. “You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Your peeps are great.”
“I was worried you wouldn’t be comfortable.”
“You don’t have to be so protective of me. I’m fine.”
“As long as I’m around you, I’ll be protective, Rana. I don’t know how not to be.”
Before we left for the night, Landon left me alone with his crew while he went to the bathroom.
Ace, who’d definitely had a bit too much to drink, moved into the empty s
pot next to me. His eyes were glassy as he just stared at me for a bit.
I could smell the beer on his breath as he said, “I’m so happy you guys found each other again. I love that dude. Love him to death. He deserves happiness with someone who’s not fucking using him.”
The last part of his comment gave me pause. I wasn’t going to pry about any of Landon’s exes, despite my curiosity and urge to ask Ace to explain exactly who might have been using Landon. Any information on Landon’s past should have come from Landon, not his intoxicated friend.
I simply said, “I couldn’t agree more.”
Landon looked concerned when he arrived back and saw me talking to a drunk Ace. “Everything good?”
Trying to seem unaffected, I smiled. “Great.”
He looked back and forth between Ace and me. “Want to get out of here, Rana?”
“Sure.”
I was actually pretty tired and couldn’t wait to get back to Landon’s place. The whole night while staring at him in his sexy, fitted sweater, I wanted to just curl into his chest like a kitten. More than ready to be alone with him again, I hoped if he didn’t want to have sex with me tonight, that we could at least cuddle.
Landon side hugged Ace. “We’re out. Goodnight, man. Be safe. You letting Dave drive you?”
“Yeah.” Ace then kissed me on the cheek. “Night, Rana.”
“Night, Ace.”
After we said our goodbyes to Dave and Mia, Landon put his arm around me as we exited the bar.
“Was Ace behaving while I was in the bathroom?”
“Yes. He was just slurring his words a little and said how happy he was that you and I reconnected.”
“He gets mouthy when he’s drunk. I just wanted to make sure he didn’t say anything to upset you.”
“No, not at all.”
“You feel like staying out, or you want to go home?”
Home.
“Back to your place, you mean?”
“I certainly didn’t mean Michigan.” He squeezed my arm. “Yes, my home…which is your home here.”
“That sounds good. It’s been a long day.”
After arriving back at Landon’s apartment, we stood facing each other in the middle of his living room.
Buzzed and horny, my nipples hardened from merely the lustful way he was looking at me. We were definitely both feeling the effects of the alcohol, and you could smell the want in the air.