there!" said Augusta Moore.
She wrenched herself away from the Swans, and came up to me and took myhand. I don't exactly know what followed next; I only knew that therewas a great buzzing, and a number of people were talking, and I knewthat Augusta went on saying, "There, there, dear!" Finally I foundmyself walking away from school, led by Augusta--away from school, andtowards home. I was making no protest of any sort whatever.
At last we reached our own house, and Augusta looked wistfully at thetall steps which led to the front door; but she said, "I am not comingin with you, for I know you would rather be alone. It must be a fearfultrial for you to have that noble, exalted father of yours united inmarriage to such a very commonplace woman as Miss Donnithorne. I feelfor you, from the bottom of my heart. Kiss me; I am truly sorry foryou."
Of course, I could not go to school that day. I allowed Augusta toprint a little kiss--a tiny, tiny kiss--on my forehead, and then Iwaited until Hannah opened the door. I felt so stupid that perhaps Ishould not have rung the bell at all; but Augusta, roused out of herselffor the time being, had performed this office for me, and when Hannahopened the door I crept into the house and sank down on a chair.
"Hannah," I said--"Hannah, it is true, and he hasn't taken leave of hissenses. He was united in marriage yesterday with Grace Donnithorne. OhHannah! Oh Hannah!"
Perhaps I expected Hannah to show great surprise; but all she really didwas to kneel down beside me, and open her arms wide, and say, "Come,then, honey! Come, then, honey!" and she clasped me in her bony armsand drew my head down to rest on her breast. Then I had relief in aburst of tears. I cried long. I cried as I had not cried since I couldremember, for no one in the old house had time for tears; tears were notencouraged in that austere, neglected abode.
After a time Hannah lifted me up, just as though I were a baby, andconveyed me into the parlour. There she laid me on two chairs, and putcushions under my head, and said, "I have got a drop of strong brothdownstairs, and you shall have it."
I enjoyed being coddled and petted by Hannah, and we both, by a sort oftacit consent, agreed not to allude for the present to the terriblypainful topic which had at last intruded itself upon us. After I hadtaken the soup I felt better and was able to sit up. Then Hannahsquatted down in front of the fire and looked into it. I observed thather own eyes were red; but all she did was to sway herself backwards andforwards and say, "Dearie me! Oh, my word! Dearie me!"
At last the mournful sort of chant got upon my nerves. I jumped up withalacrity.
"Hannah, the boys will be in soon. We must tell them, and we must getthe place in order, and--"
"Miss Dumps!" cried Hannah.
She spoke in a loud, shrill voice. "If you think, Miss Dumps, even fora single minute, that I'm going to put up with it, you've mistook me,that's all."
"But what are you going to do, Hannah? You won't leave us, will you?"
"Leave you? Go out of the house into which I came when Master Alex wasa baby, bless him! and when you were but a tiny, tiny tot! Leave thehouse? No, it ain't me as 'ull do that."
"Then, Hannah, what will you do?"
I went up to her and took one of her hands. She gave it unwillingly.
"Dumps," she said. She was still huddled by the fire. I had never seenher so subdued or broken-down before, and it was only when I heard hervoice rise in shrill passion that I recognised the old Hannah. "Dumps,is it you who is going to submit tame--you, who had a mother?"
"Oh, I must submit," I said. I sank down again into a chair. "Where'sthe good?" I queried.
"I always know you had no spirit worth speaking of," said Hannah. "I'msorry now as I gave you that drop of soup. It was the stock in which Imeant to boil the bits of mutton for the boys' dinner, but I said youshould have it, for you were so took aback, poor child! But there!'tain't in you, I expect, to feel things very deep; and yet you had amother."
"You said yesterday that she had been killed," I said, and my voicetrembled.
"And so she were. If ever a woman were pushed out of life--pushed on tothe edge of the world and then right over it--it was the Professor'swife, Alice Grant. Ah! she was too gentle, too sweet; he wanted adifferent sort."
When Hannah said these words, in a flash I seemed to see GraceDonnithorne in a new position--Grace Donnithorne with her laughing eyes,her firm mouth, her composed and dignified manner. It would be verydifficult, I felt certain, to push Grace Donnithorne over the edge ofthe world. I rose.
"Hannah, if you don't mind, I'll tell the boys. But please understandthat I am very unhappy. I don't love my mother one bit the less; I amabout as unhappy as girl can be. I have been cruelly deceived. I wentto see Miss Donnithorne, and she was kind to me, and I thought herkindness meant something."
"I didn't," said Hannah. "I felt all along that she was a snake in thegrass."
"She was kind, even though she meant to marry father; and perhapsanother girl would have guessed."
"Sakes! why should you guess? You ain't that sort; you're an innocentchild, and don't know the wicked ways of wicked, knowing, designingfemales. Why ever should you guess?"
"Well, I didn't; but, now I look back, I see--"
"Oh, we all see when the light comes," said Hannah; "there's nought inthat."
"But, Hannah, she is not bad. She is good, and if she chose to marryfather--"
"My word, we'll have no more of that!" said Hannah. "I'm sorry I gaveyou that drop of soup. The boys will have to eat the mutton boiled upwith water from the pump."
"Oh Hannah, will you never understand?"
"I don't understand you, Miss Dumps; but then I never did."
"Well, I am going to tell the boys, and I'm as unhappy as I can be; butI don't see the use of fighting. I'll try to do what's right. I'll tryto. I don't love her. I might have loved her if she had just remainedmy friend."
"Friend, indeed! What should make her take up with you--a plain girllike you, with no sort of attraction that any living being ever yetdiscovered? What should make her pet you, and fondle you, and dress youup if she hadn't had in her mind the getting of a husband? There I nowyou know. That's the long and short of it. She used you for her ownpurposes, and I say she is a low-down sort of hussy, and she won't getme a-humouring of her!"
"Very well, Hannah. I don't love her. I would have loved her had shenot been father's wife."
"There's no use talking about what you would do had certain things nothappened; it's what you will do now that certain things have happened.That's what you've got to face, Dumps."
"Am I to sit up in my room all day and never speak to father and--andhis wife?"
"Oh, I know you!" said Hannah. "You'll come down after a day or two andmake yourself quite agreeable, and it'll be `mother' you'll be callingher before the week's out I know you--she'll come round the likes of youpretty fine!"
But this last straw was too much. I left Hannah. I went unsteadily--yes, unsteadily--towards the door. I rushed upstairs, entered my ownroom, bolted myself in. I took my mother's miniature in my hands. Iopened the case and pressed the miniature to my heart, flung myself onthe bed face downwards, and sobbed and sobbed. No broken-hearted childin all the world could have sobbed more for her own mother than I didthen.
PART ONE, CHAPTER TWELVE.
DISCUSSING THE NEW MOTHER.
It was not I, after all, who told the boys Hannah was the person whogave them that piece of information. I did not come downstairs for thewatery stew which she had prepared for them. Doubtless she would tellthe boys that I had swallowed the spirit of that stew and left them thepoor material body. She would make the most of my conduct, for she wasvery angry with me. But by-and-by there came a knock at my door, and Iheard Alex's voice, and he said, "Oh, do open the door and let me in!Please let me in, Rachel."
He so seldom called me by that name that I got up, went to the door, andflung it open. Alex's face was very pale, and his hair was rumpled upover his forehead, but he had not been cryi
ng at all. I don't supposeboys do cry much; but the moment I glanced at him I knew that Hannah hadtold him.
He took my hand.
"My word," he said, "how cold you are! And I can scarcely see youreyes. You'll have a bad inflammation if you give way like this.Where's the use? Come along downstairs."
He took my hand, and we raced down together. When we got down I clungto him and said, "Kiss me, Alex."
"Why, of course I will, Dumps."
He kissed me twice on