But I did take it, nevertheless; I took this terrible thimbleful inits beautiful little saucer in my gloved hand, and sat down and receiveda plate of the same type to rest on my lap with an infinitesimal morselof wafery bread-and-butter. The tea was scalding hot, and it broughttears to my eyes. I felt so bewildered and upset that it was withdifficulty I could keep myself from making an ignominious bolt from theroom. But worse was to follow.
Lady Anne and my step-mother continued to talk as placidly together asthough nothing whatever had happened, as though I had not disgracedmyself for ever and ever, when the door was flung open and a perfectswarm of gaily dressed ladies appeared. I think there were five ofthem. They made the silent room alive all at once, each talking alittle higher and more rapidly than the other. One rushed up to LadyAnne and called her an old dear, and kissed her and patted her cheek;another tapped her with her lorgnette and said, "You naughty old thing,why weren't you at the bazaar yesterday? Oh, we had such fun!"
Then they all sat down, spreading out their garments and seeming topreen themselves like lovely tropical birds. I pushed my chair a littlefarther from the fire, which had caught my cheeks and made them burn ina most terrible manner. When would my step-mother go? But no, she hadno intention of stirring. She knew these people; they were quiteinterested on seeing her.
"Oh, how do you get on? How nice to see you again! But what anextraordinary thing you have done, Grace! And you have step-children,too. Horrors, no doubt!"
The words reached my ears. I could scarcely bear myself. Mrs Grantsaid something, and there was an apologetic, almost frightened look onthe lady's face.
The next minute a girl, doubtless about my own age, but who had all the_savoir-faire_ which I did not possess, came swiftly forward and droppedinto a low chair near me.
"I must introduce myself, Miss Grant," she said. "I know you are MissGrant. I am Lilian St Leger. I am so glad you are here; all theothers are so terribly old, you know. Where shall we go to have a nicelittle talk all to ourselves? Into the back drawing-room? Oh, but haveyou had enough tea?"
"Quite," I replied.
Now, if there was an absolutely radiant-looking creature on this earth,it was Lilian St Leger. I won't attempt to describe her, for I have nowords. I don't suppose if I were to take her features separately Ishould be able for a single moment to pronounce them perfect; but it washer sweetness and tact, and the way she seemed to envelop me with herbright presence, which was as cold water to a thirsty person.
"I have had quite enough tea," I said.
"And I hate tea in drawing-rooms; it is always so weak, and you can onlysnatch a mouthful of food at a time," said Lilian. "Come along, then."
She held out her tiny hand and clasped mine. I felt vulgar and roughand commonplace beside her; but she steered me right past the numeroustables until we got into a room which was comparatively cool, and wesank down together on a sofa.
"This is better. Oh, you do look hot! Have you been sitting by thefire?"
"Yes, Miss St Leger, I have; but I've also done such an awful thing."
"I am sure awful things have been done to you. You heard, of course,what mother said. She didn't mean it; she couldn't have meant it if shehad seen you."
"If she had seen me she would have meant it in very truth," I replied,"if she had witnessed me a few minutes ago."
"Oh! what happened? Tell me everything. It would be lovely if youbroke the proprieties of that drawing-room."
Lilian was wearing a black velvet hat, which had a great plume offeathers that drooped a little over her face. Her hair was golden, andvery thick and very shining. It was not, like mine, hanging down herback, but fastened in a thick knot very low on her neck.
"What did you do?" she said, and she clasped my hand and gave it asqueeze.
"I knocked over a small table; there was a solitary glass ornament inthe middle."
"What! Not the Salviati?"
"It was glass, not Salviati," I said.
She laughed.
"Salviati is the maker of some of the most perfect opalescent glass inthe world, and this was one of his oldest and most perfect creations.But you saved it?"
"I didn't, Miss St Leger. It is in pieces. It was taken away insomething that a footman brought in; it doesn't exist any longer. Ihave smashed it."
"What happened?"
"I don't know what happened; nothing, I think. There was a kind of icybreath all over the room, and I thought my heart would stop. But LadyAnne's voice was as cool as--oh! cool as snow, if snow could speak.Afterwards I got burning hot; the ice went and the fire came, and--and Ihave done it!"
Lilian looked perplexed. She turned round and gazed at me; then sheburst into a peal of merriest laughter.
"Oh, you funny girl!" she said. "Just to think of you--the horror, asmother called you--calmly breaking dear Lady Anne's sacred Salviati, andOh, you don't _half_ know the heinousness of your crime!"
"You are rubbing it in pretty hard," I said.
She laughed again immoderately; she could not stop laughing.
"Oh! I could kiss you," she said; "I could hug you. I hate that roomand those tables and curios; it is wicked--it is wrong for any one tomake her room exactly like a curiosity shop, and that is what Lady Annedoes. But then it's her hobby. Well, you have knocked over one of heridols, and she'll never forgive you."
"If she never expects me to come to see her again I shall certainlysurvive," I said. "But please don't laugh at me any more."
"Oh, I admire you so much," said Lilian; "you have such courage!"
"But you don't think I did it on purpose, do you?"
"Of course not You just did it because you are accustomed to space, andthere is no space allowed in Lady Anne's drawing-room. Oh! I shalltell Dick to-night, and Guy."
"Who are they, please?"
"My brothers. Won't they roar? Well, my dear, she'll never say a wordto you or your step-mother; she'll never say a word to anybody; but Ishouldn't be a bit surprised if the doctor was summoned to-night. Shehas had a sort of shock; but she won't show it, for it's consideredunderbred for any one to show anything."
"Oh, what an appalling life to lead!"
"I lead it--at least I generally do; it is only now and then that I cangive myself away. You dear, refreshing young soul, how you have cheeredme up! I was so loathing the thought of this afternoon of visits. Butnow, do tell me something more! Are you _always_ doing _outre_ things?If I could only convey you to our house and send you sprawling round, itwould be such fun!"
"I know you are laughing at me," I said.
"Well, yes, I am and I am not. But there! tell me about yourself."
"I have nothing to tell; I am just a plain girl."
"However plain, you are delicious--delicious! How old are you?"
"I shall be sixteen in May."
"Well, I was seventeen a month ago, so I have put up my hair. How doyou like it?"
"It is lovely," I said.
"My maid thinks it is. I don't much bother about it. I have one greatdesire in life. I long for the unattainable."
"I should think anything could be attained by you."
"Not a bit of it. The thing that I want I can't attain to."
"What do you want?"
"To be very, very plain, to have a free time, to do exactly what Ilike--to knock over tables, to skim about the country at my own sweetwill unchaperoned and unstared at; never to be expected to make a greatmatch; never to have any one say, `If Lilian doesn't do somethingwonderful we shall be disappointed.'"
"Oh, well, you never will get those things," I said. After a time Icontinued--for she kept on looking at me--"Would you change with me ifyou could?"
"I shouldn't like to give up mamma--dear mamma _is_ a darling; shereally is, although she is always putting her foot into it. She put herfoot into it now; but, you see, it was rather good after all, for I sawyou and I noticed that you had heard what mamma said. Now, mother neverdoes _outre_ things with he
r body, but with her lips she is alwaysgiving herself away. I couldn't leave her even to change with you."
"Well, I'm plain enough."
"Thank Providence for that. You are plain; I quite admit it. But Iwill tell you something else. Your step-mother is the most delightfulwoman--"
"Oh, you have been very nice, Miss St Leger--"
"They call me Lady Lilian," she interrupted.
"Oh, but that is rather too terrible."
"Why should the fact of being an earl's daughter make me a scrap betterthan you, who are the