CHAPTER FOURTEEN.
NUMBER 666 OFF DUTY.
Some time after the attempt made upon Sir Richard Brandon's house, GilesScott was seated at his own fireside, helmet and truncheon laid aside,uniform taken off, and a free and easy suit of plain clothes put on.
His pretty wife sat beside him darning a pair of very large socks. Thejuvenile policeman, and the incorrigible criminal were sound asleep intheir respective cribs, the one under the print of the Queen, the otherunder that of Sir Robert Peel. Giles was studying a small book ofinstructions as to the duties of police-constables, and pretty Molly wascommenting on the same, for she possessed that charming quality of mindand heart which induces the possessor to take a sympathetic and livelyinterest in whatever may happen to be going on.
"They expect pretty hard work of you, Giles," remarked Molly with asigh, as she thought of the prolonged hours of absence from home, andthe frequent night duty.
"Why, Moll, you wouldn't have me wish for easy work at my time of life,would you?" replied the policeman, looking up from his little book withan amused smile. "Somebody must always be taking a heavy lift of thehard work of this world, and if a big hulking fellow like me in theprime o' life don't do it, who will?"
"True, Giles, but surely you won't deny me the small privilege ofwishing that you had a _little_ less to do, and a _little_ more timewith your family. You men,--especially you Scotchmen--are such anargumentative set, that a poor woman can't open her lips to say a word,but you pounce upon it and make an argument of it."
"Now Molly, there you go again, assuming my duties! Why do you take meso sharp? Isn't taking-up the special privilege of the police?"
"Am I not entitled," said Molly, ignoring her husband's question, "toexpress regret that your work should include coming home now and thenwith scratched cheeks, and swelled noses, and black eyes?"
"Come now," returned Giles, "you must admit that I have fewer of thesediscomforts than most men of the force, owing, no doubt, to little menbeing unable to reach so high--and, d'you know, it's the little men whodo most damage in life; they're such a pugnacious and perversegeneration! As to swelled noses, these are the fortune of war, at leastof civil war like ours--and black eyes, why, my eyes are black bynature. If they were of a heavenly blue like yours, Molly, you mighthave some ground for complaint when they are blackened."
"And then there is such dreadful tear and wear of clothes," continuedMolly; "just look at that, now!" She held up to view a sock with a holein its heel large enough to let an orange through.
"Why, Molly, do you expect that I can walk the streets of London fromearly morning till late at night, protect life and property, andpreserve public tranquillity, as this little book puts it, besidesengaging in numerous scuffles and street rows without making a hole ortwo in my socks?"
"Ah! Giles, if you had only brain enough to take in a simple idea! it'snot the making of holes that I complain of. It is the making of suchawfully big ones before changing your socks! There now, don't let usget on domestic matters. You have no head for these, but tell mesomething about your little book. I am specially interested in it, yousee, because the small policeman in the crib over there puts endlessquestions about his duties which I am quite unable to answer, and, youknow, it is a good thing for a child to grow up with the idea thatfather and mother know everything."
"Just so, Molly. I hope you'll tell your little recruit that the firstand foremost duty of a good policeman is to obey orders. Let me see,then, if I can enlighten you a bit."
"But tell me first, Giles--for I really want to know--how many are thereof you altogether, and when was the force established on its presentfooting, and who began it, and, in short, all about it. It's _so_ niceto have you for once in a way for a quiet chat like this."
"You have laid down enough of heads, Molly, to serve for the foundationof a small volume. However, I'll give it you hot, since you wish it,and I'll begin at the end instead of the beginning. What would you say,now, to an army of eleven thousand men?"
"I would say it was a very large one, though I don't pretend to muchknowledge about the size of armies," said Molly, commencing to mendanother hole about the size of a turnip.
"Well, that, in round numbers, is the strength of the MetropolitanPolice force at the present time--and not a man too much, let me tellyou, for what with occasional illnesses and accidents, men employed onspecial duty, and men off duty--as I am just now--the actual availablestrength of the force at any moment is considerably below that number.Yes, it is a goodly army of picked and stalwart men, (no self-praiseintended), but, then, consider what we have to do."
"We have to guard and keep in order the population of the biggest cityin the world; a population greater than that of the whole of Scotland."
"Oh! of course, you are sure to go to Scotland for your illustrations,as if there was no such place as England in the world," quietly remarkedMolly, with a curl of her pretty lip.
"Ah! Molly, dear, you are unjust. It is true I go to Scotland for anillustration, but didn't I come to England for a wife? Now, don't gofrowning at that hole as if it couldn't be bridged over."
"It is the worst hole you ever made," said the despairing wife, holdingit up to view.
"You make a worsted hole of it then, Moll, and it'll be all right.Besides, you don't speak truth, for I once made a worse hole in yourheart."
"You never did, sir. Go on with your stupid illustrations," said Molly.
"Well, then, let me see--where was I?"
"In Scotland, of course!"
"Ah, yes. The population of all Scotland is under four millions, andthat of London--that is, of the area embraced in the Metropolitan PoliceDistrict, is estimated at above four million seven hundred thousand--inround numbers. Of course I give it you all in round numbers."
"I don't mind how round the numbers are, Giles, so long as they're allsquare," remarked the little wife with much simplicity.
"Well, just think of that number for our army to watch over; and thatpopulation--not all of it, you know, but part of it--succeeds--in spiteof us in committing, during one year, no fewer than 25,000 `Principal'offences such as murders, burglaries, robberies, thefts, and such-like.What they would accomplish if we were not ever on the watch I leave youto guess.
"Last year, for instance, 470 burglaries, as we style house-breaking bynight, were committed in London. The wonder is that there are not more,when you consider the fact that the number of doors and windows foundopen by us at night during the twelve months was nearly 26,000. Thetotal loss of property by theft during the year is estimated at about100,000 pounds. Besides endeavouring to check crime of such magnitude,we had to search after above 15,000 persons who were reported lost andmissing during the year, about 12,000 of whom were children."
"Oh! the _poor_ darlings," said Molly, twisting her sympatheticeyebrows.
"Ay, and we found 7523 of these darlings," continued the practicalGiles, "and 720 of the adults. Of the rest some returned home or werefound by their friends, but 154 adults and 23 children have been lostaltogether. Then, we found within the twelve months 54 dead bodieswhich we had to take care of and have photographed for identification.During the same period, (and remember that the record of every twelvemonths is much the same), we seized over 17,000 stray dogs and returnedthem to their owners or sent them to the Dogs' Home. We arrested over18,000 persons for being drunk and disorderly. We inspected all thepublic vehicles and horses in London. We attended to 3527 accidentswhich occurred in the streets, 127 of which were fatal. We looked aftermore than 17,000 articles varying in value from 0 pence to 1500 poundswhich were lost by a heedless public during the year, about 10,000 ofwhich articles were restored to the owners. We had to regulate thestreet traffic; inspect common lodging-houses; attend the police andother courts to give evidence, and many other things which it would takeme much too long to enumerate, and puzzle your pretty little head totake in."
"No, it wouldn't," said Molly, looking up with a bri
ght expression; "Ihave a wonderful head for figures--especially for handsome manlyfigures! Go on, Giles."
"Then, look at what is expected of us," continued Number 666, notnoticing the last remark. "We are told to exercise the greatestcivility and affability towards every one--high and low, rich and poor.We are expected to show the utmost forbearance under all circumstances;to take as much abuse and as many blows as we can stand, withoutinflicting any in return; to be capable of answering almost everyquestion that an ignorant--not to say arrogant--public may choose to putto us; to be ready, single-handed and armed only with our truncheons andthe majesty of the law, to encounter burglars furnished with knives andrevolvers; to plunge into the midst of drunken maddened crowds and makearrests in the teeth of tremendous odds; to keep an eye upon strangerswhose presence may seem to be less desirable than their absence; tostand any amount of unjust and ungenerous criticism without a word ofreply; to submit quietly to the abhorrence and chaff of boys, labourers,cabmen, omnibus drivers, tramps, and fast young men; to have a fairknowledge of the `three Rs' and a smattering of law, so as to conductourselves with propriety at fires, fairs, fights, and races, besidesacting wisely as to mad dogs, German bands, (which are apt to producemad _men_), organ-grinders, furious drivers, and all other nuisances.In addition to all which we must be men of good character, goodstanding--as to inches--good proportions, physically, and good sense.In short, we are expected to be--and blamed if we are not--as near to astate of perfection as it is possible for mortal man to attain on thisside the grave, and all for the modest sum which you are but too wellaware is the extent of our income."
"Is one of the things expected of you," asked Molly, "to have anexceedingly high estimate of yourselves?"
"Nay, Molly, don't you join the ranks of those who are against us. Itwill be more than criminal if you do. You are aware that I am givingthe opinion expressed by men of position who ought to know everythingabout the force. That we fulfil the conditions required of us not sobadly is proved by the fact that last year, out of the whole 12,000there were 215 officers and 1225 men who obtained rewards for zeal andactivity, while only one man was discharged, and four men were fined orimprisoned. I speak not of number one--or, I should say Number 666.For myself I am ready to admit that I am the most insignificant of theforce."
"O Giles! what a barefaced display of mock modesty!"
"Nay, Molly, I can prove it. Everything in this world goes by contrast,doesn't it? then, is there a man in the whole force except myself, Iask, whose wife is so bright and beautiful and good and sweet that shereduces him to mere insignificance by contrast?"
"There's something in that, Giles," replied Molly with gravity, "but goon with your lecture."
"I've nothing more to say about the force," returned Giles; "if I havenot said enough to convince you of our importance, and of the debt ofgratitude that you and the public of London owe to us, you are pastconviction, and--"
"You are wrong, Giles, as usual; I am never past conviction; you haveonly to take me before the police court in the morning, and anymagistrate will at once convict me of stupidity for having married aScotchman and a policeman!"
"I think it must be time to go on my beat, for you beat me hollow," saidNumber 666, consulting his watch.
"No, no, Giles, please sit still. It is not every day that I have sucha chance of a chat with you."
"Such a chance of pitching into me, you mean," returned Giles."However, before I go I would like to tell you just one or two factsregarding this great London itself, which needs so much guarding andsuch an army of guardians. You know that the Metropolitan Districtcomprises all the parishes any portion of which are within 15 miles ofCharing Cross--this area being 688 square miles. The rateable value ofit is over twenty-six million eight hundred thousand pounds sterling.See, as you say you've a good head for _figures_, there's the sum on abit of paper for you--26,800,000 pounds. During last year 26,170 newhouses were built, forming 556 new streets and four new squares--thewhole covering a length of 86 miles. The total number of new housesbuilt during the last _ten_ years within this area has been 162,525,extending over 500 miles of streets and squares!"
"Stay, I can't stand it!" cried Molly, dropping her sock and putting herfingers in her ears.
"Why not, old girl?"
"Because it is too much for me; why, even _your_ figure is a merenothing to such sums!"
"Then," returned Giles, "you've only got to stick me on to the end ofthem to make my information ten times more valuable."
"But are you quite sure that what you tell me is true, Giles?"
"Quite sure, my girl--at least as sure as I am of the veracity ofColonel Henderson, who wrote the last Police Report."
At this point the chat was interrupted by the juvenile policeman in thecrib under Sir Robert Peel. Whether it was the astounding informationuttered in his sleepy presence, or the arduous nature of the dutyrequired of him in dreams, we cannot tell, but certain it is that whenNumber 666 uttered the word "Report" there came a crash like the reportof a great gun, and Number 2 of the A Division, having fallen overboard,was seen on the floor pommelling some imaginary criminal who stoutlyrefused to be captured.
Giles ran forward to the assistance of Number 2, as was his duty, andtook him up in his arms. But Number 2 had awakened to the fact that hehad hurt himself, and, notwithstanding the blandishments of his father,who swayed him about and put him on his broad shoulders, and raised hiscurly head to the ceiling, he refused for a long time to be comforted.At last he was subdued, and returned to the crib and the land of dreams.
"Now, Molly, I must really go," said Giles, putting on his uniform. "Ihope Number 2 won't disturb you again. Good-bye, lass, for a fewhours," he added, buckling his belt. "Here, look, do you see thatlittle spot on the ceiling?"
"Yes,--well?" said Molly, looking up.
Giles took unfair advantage of her, stooped, and kissed the prettylittle face, received a resounding slap on the back, and went out, toattend to his professional duties, with the profound gravity of anincapable magistrate.
There was a bright intelligent little street-Arab on the opposite sideof the way, who observed Giles with mingled feelings of admiration,envy, and hatred, as he strode sedately along the street like animperturbable pillar. He knew Number 666 personally; had seen him undermany and varied circumstance, and had imagined him under many others--not unfrequently as hanging by the neck from a lamp-post--but never,even in the most daring flights of his juvenile fancy, had he seen himas he has been seen by the reader in the bosom of his poor but happyhome.