It was Rhyme. He ran at me and threw me to the ground. My shock prevented any protection my limbs may have granted me.
“I thought you were dead, Uncle!” I said back breathlessly.
“No, didn’t finish us off that good yet!”
“If I’d known, I would have come to look for you!”
“You left me for dead!” he shrieked.
“You threw me into a horde of Undead!” I replied back with a fire I had not ever dared to feel before. “What was I to do? Wait while they ate my face off?”
“You shouldn’t have left! I have seen Peak, Myth! Seen it with my own eyes!”
“It has been weeks, Uncle!”
I thought I had counted nine.
He kicked me in the stomach. He picked me up and tried to punch me, but I moved out of his way automatically, despite the many tears that opened up from a fast-and-well-healing emotional wound.
“What was I supposed to do?” I asked him desperately, in an effort to reason with him, but he just punched me in the face.
I flipped away from the strength of his hand, and tears of guilt as much as fury and pain burned my eyes. When I turned back to face my abuser, I saw. Rhyme was gone. His mind had snapped. The deaths of the only things in the world that had mattered to him had sent him spiraling out of control, and the terrain and harsh reality of the outside world must have driven him off the edge of his sanity.
Rhyme raised a hand to hit me again. I looked up to meet it. I saw Foot off in the distance as I spiraled, as pain shot through my face and neck. Iris was clutching his arm, but he seemed blank. I wanted him to defend me. He didn’t come.
I took Rhyme’s next punch but words came out of my own mouth.
“What…should I…have done?”
I looked down, bowing. My nose touched the earth. My face did not hurt or even feel the blows as they fell, and it was that that I wanted to prevent. Before, I had wanted my hurt from the inside on my outside. Now, after Ollie’s support, I just wanted that time to seal itself up in my brain and go away forever.
Rhyme was bringing it all back.
“I could…have done…nothing more, Uncle.”
“IT WAS YOUR FAULT!”
None could hate him more at that moment than I.
“AND WHO ARE YOU TO ADD TO MY GUILT?” I found myself shrieking, flinging myself from the ground as fast as I could to stand and face him. “I HAVE DONE YOU SERVICE AFTER SERVICE! I DID NOT ASK FOR THEM TO GO TO PEAK FOR ME! THEY DID SO WITHOUT TELLING EITHER OF US!”
“YOU FILTHY LIAR!” Rhyme shouted back.
He hit me in the face again.
“STOP IT!” I heard someone’s voice call.
I saw Chess as I glanced up, and he was trying to move forward, to come to me, to protect me. Of course, it was Foot who was holding him back. But the vision empowered me.
“IT WAS ALL YOUR –!”
“No, it WASN’T!” I screamed.
If nothing else, I had to let him know this. I finally began to sob.
“PLEASE! I couldn’t do anything else! Nothing else…”
I stared up at him. Neither of us said anything for a long time. I could not see or breathe or hear or listen. Even my own words were nothing to me but for my hate. But finally, the worst part of me came out.
“Why can’t you love me too?” I moaned.
“I LOST THE WRONG CHILD!”
I looked up at him. My face crumpled a little, but I did not look away. He looked at the sky, ignorant of all the pain he would cause. He screamed, screamed at the being that controlled us from up there, our God.
“YOU TOOK THE WRONG ONE!”
He fell to his knees. Tears fell down my face. He was damned and he was taking me with him. His eyes entered mine.
“YOU KILLED MY FAMILY!” he shrieked at me. “YOU KILLED MY WIFE AND SON!” He scowled more deeply than I had seen anyone scowl. It wasn’t human. “YOU ARE AN INSIGNIFICANT ABOMINATION, JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER!”
He stood, brought me with him, and pushed me a little.
“YOU HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING BUT CAUSE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF ALL KINDS!”
He pushed me again. I didn’t fight. He shoved me to the ground and threw dirt at my face. I winced away.
There was a long moment. I fought hard not to cry out with sobs, but I didn’t win. I heard him turn somewhere else.
“Throw this trash away, Chess.”
He finally spat at me.
“It’s worthless.”
I shook my head at the ground, brushing my nose. The more I did it, the angrier I became.
“I am NOT WORTHLESS!”
I sat forward on my elbows, as if bowing. The very tip of my nose touched my hands. There was blood on them. I decided not to wash them in plain sight for I had yet dignity to have. I removed myself from the clearing, shrugging Chess off.
When I arrived at my home, Paige was standing in the doorway. I did not want her to see me so I hid my face to the ground. When I looked up, I saw Ollie. He watched my every move. He leaned back, scowling a little but not at me really, and he just watched. I couldn’t look at him. I was ashamed. My outburst was…pitiful.
“I am not worthless,” I said to him.
I walked past him and he put a hand on my shoulder, trying to turn me to him. I shook my head and pushed past him firmly. He did not press me, but I heard him breathe in deeply with the wanting of it.