The day breezes away. For the first time, I feel myself start to relax. At the end, there's food, and shelter, and laughter. It's more than I can ask for. It's more than I ever hoped.
Come bedtime, Oscar scoots over and makes a spot between him and Miranda. "Right here, Eden," he says sweetly. "There's room for you."
I only hesitate a little before I smile and laugh. My feet move toward the bed.
In the end, we all pile in, and miraculously but snugly, fit. Neveah sleeps against the wall, then Oscar, then me, tucked between him and Miranda, who sleeps with her back to me. Jonas is next to her with one arm draped over her, and Apollon on the outside. As I lie there, very still, aware that my every movement will disturb someone near me, I think how ridiculous we all are. We're like a pile of puppies, or something in a children's song, though I can't think exactly which one. I close my eyes and try to relax, but I feel as stiff as a corpse. In the darkness, the feeling of closeness is stifling. I have an urge to flee, to be where I can move freely. It takes me a long time to sleep, but eventually the softness of the mattress wins out against everything else. My last conscious thought before I drift off is that this all seems too good to be real.
Again, I'm in the box. I can't see, or breathe, or move. I'm suffocating. Dying. Has everything been a dream? The thought brings the ultimate wash of terror, sweeping me away as though I'm nothing. I scream and flail, and I can't get out.
A hand presses firmly on my shoulder. A voice, murmuring. My mind is spinning cartwheels, trying to make sense of things. I can't tell up from down or side from side.
"It's OK. You're OK," the voice says, quietly. "It's just a dream."
The tide of reality swoops in. I'm sitting up in bed. I remember. It's Jonas' hand on my shoulder, his fingers pressing in just enough to bring me to the present. Miranda is quietly cussing as she settles in on his other side. Light glints off of Oscar's wide, dark eyes on the other side of me. I must have frightened him. I want to apologize, to sooth him, but my brain is swimming, heavy. I'm so tired. My head slumps. Jonas pushes me back and I sink into the bed. I'm asleep before I hit the mattress.
I sleep like the dead for the rest of the night. When I wake, with light filtering through my eyelids, I feel the removal of an arm from around me. When I sit up, I see Jonas scooting to the end of the bed, his back to me. No one says anything about my nightmares. We simply start another day.