~
“It was me that asked Jan to go with Katie,” James said as they followed slowly along behind the other trucks.
Conner nodded. His eyes following the sides of the road as James drove along. “I thought it was something like that,” he said. “What’s on your mind, James?”
“Well… A lot,” James said after a second or two. He hesitated a little longer. “I guess mainly to say Jan and I would like to go with you when you leave... And Katie, I assume.”
“Yeah,” Conner agreed. “I know that probably seemed kind of quick.”
“It’s a…”
“Quick world,” Conner finished. “Katie said the same thing. I don’t know how much better off we’ll be leaving as opposed to staying, but we’d be glad to have you two with us if you want to come.”
“We would. Jan and I talked it over. We talked all night long last night. I got nothing personal against Jake; he did alright by us, but he’s a little too…”
“Demanding? Aggressive?” Conner supplied.
James looked thoughtful. “I don’t know… Something like that. I just don’t see him being able to see this through. I feel like if we came back here in ten years we’d find him still holed up in that factory. He’s… I don’t know... too immature to talk to about it. He has only one way of looking at things. That can’t work.”
“You’re probably right. He’d still be here with Lydia, probably with a couple of babies running around, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe that’s a good thing.” He shrugged. “The immaturity… I don’t know… It’s there though. Maybe he’ll move out of that. Maybe it’s just the situation.”
“Maybe,” James agreed. “But that’s exactly the time he should be mature, isn’t it?”
Conner nodded. James continued.
“So maybe it’s a good thing, maybe it’s not, but not for me. I don’t want to stay here. Nor Jan either. I wouldn’t want to quit this unless I knew this was all there was. I mean, this couldn’t be worldwide, could it?”
“I don’t know,” Conner said softly. “But I agree. I know what you mean. Katie and I talked about it last night too and came to the same opinion. It could be better elsewhere, and whatever is right for Jake or Lydia isn’t necessarily right for us. I was for going from the start. I have to know if this is really the end. If there’s anything else. If it is the end then I’ll deal with it; find a place to settle down. Thank God I have Katie, you and Jan. Maybe we’ll meet others on the way to... Well, wherever.”
“I think so,” James said. “I mean I think there are people, other people around. We've just got to find them. Or them us.”
“Yeah, we've got to remember rifles and pistols too. I hate to say it, James, but we may need them.”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah.”
They continued on in silence as the small caravan made its way past a collapsed building partially blocking what was left of the road.
“I think… It’s not my business,” James said, “But I think you made an enemy of Lydia. She was thinking you would be with her.”
“Yeah, I could see that, James. I don’t think Jake was any too pleased either.”
James nodded. “Nope, none too. Him I wouldn’t worry about though. Her, she’s pretty spiteful. I’ve only known her for a week, but it’s enough. That child did pretty much what she wanted to, I’ll bet. Used to having her own way, getting what she wants when she wants it.”
“Yeah, I can see that, but last night we talked about the journals; I’m keeping one. Katie is too. Lydia said she would. Something to leave when we leave.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” James agreed. “I’m not much for writing myself, but Jan might like it.”
Conner nodded. “Well, Lydia liked the idea. She didn’t say she’d go, but she might. So hate me or not, she might be with us.”
“Oh,” James said. “I see that. Maybe she’ll be okay. She’s a kid; maybe she’ll change.”
“Guess we’ll have to see,” Conner agreed. “Guess we’ll have to see.”
James worked the truck up and over a huge slab of up-tilted asphalt and followed along behind the other two trucks as they made their way down Arsenal Street.
“What did you think of the idea that Jake had of fixing up one of the new trucks?” Conner ventured after a few minutes.
“Won’t work. Or at least it won’t work without a lot of trouble. The new engines are computer dependent. We could probably find ourselves another motor, maybe even a new crate motor at a parts store somewhere around here,” James said.
“What’s a crate motor?” Conner asked.
“It just means a new motor, all crated up when it was sent from the factory. They sell them. Race cars, old rebuilds, like that, but even if we couldn’t find a crate motor, we could find enough parts to rebuild anything we would need to rebuild on nearly any vehicle. So really, when we’re done, we’d have what amounted to a new vehicle. Jake wants to oversimplify that. He thinks we can just find the parts and swap them out on the motor that’s in the truck. Maybe we can. I’m not that good though, and I don’t think he is. I think we should stick to what we can do for sure, utilize what we have - the new parts.”
“That what you think we should do? Build a vehicle?”
“Yeah. Maybe two. Four wheel drive, of course. Go right through them top to bottom, everything new. It would take a few weeks, but we’ve got that and more. Meantime, you could work on your CB radio idea, “James finished.
“Can you get electric? Those home base CB radio outfits need regular power, don't they?”
“Not so much, they can run from a vehicle battery, but maybe we’ll just find us a generator. That will give us all the power we need. We could even hook up a power inverter to give us one twenty in the vehicles,” James added.
Conner nodded. “So we’re going to jump right into this thing? Get ready to go?”
James nodded. “I’m with you. I’m not spending next winter in a factory unless I have to. There's a place in Tennessee, maybe Kentucky...” He closed his eyes for a split second as if seeing something only he could see. He shook his head, frowned and then continued. “If not, I’m thinking the coast. Southern or western, either will do, whichever one looks to be the better bet. And who knows how hard it’ll be to get there, so the sooner we’re ready to go the better.”
“I agree,” Conner said. “I’ll talk to Katie.
“And I’ll talk to Jan, but we already talked.”
“So did we,” Conner agreed. They both laughed.
James angled the big truck around a final piece of asphalt and into a cracked and buckled parking lot. The two other vehicles sat silent, waiting for them.
As they left the truck Conner noticed that the store hadn’t seemed to incur any more damage since the last time that he had been there. The roof was bowed inward; it had been before, but there were plenty of upright pillars that still supported the roof and they all appeared intact. At least the ones he could easily see. The supports were spaced about every sixteen or so feet.
“Safe?” Jake asked.
“Looks the same as it did the last time,” Conner allowed. Katie and James looked at him, and he shrugged. “I’d say so. It looks the same as it did the last time I was here. It doesn’t even look as though anyone has been here.”
The scattered, powdered snow seemed undisturbed around the shattered doorway that lead into the building. Conner snapped his flashlight on and led the way inside.
The inside of the store told a different story. Someone had been there during the time Conner had last been there. Several of the glass display cases that held the weapons had been damaged. They were locked, whoever had made the attempt had made it halfheartedly. The glass was safety glass of some sort. It had cracked and spider webbed, but it had not broken and caved in.
“Guess someone tried to get in,” James offered.
Jake held up a discarded crow bar. Even in the weak light they could see the streaks of
scarlet on one end. Jake let it fall to the floor. The clatter was loud enough to make Lydia draw in a quick breath in the broken silence that followed.
“Jesus, Jake,” She sputtered. Jake only grinned.
“Why does someone go through all of that when they could’ve taken a simple screw driver and just popped the locks?” Katie asked.
“Well,” Jake started.
Katie had walked behind the counter, taken a screw driver from her pocket and began to jimmy the lock mechanism. It was a cheap sliding set and easily bent to one side far enough to slide the glass door open. Katie smiled.
“Learn that up in the big city, Miss?” Conner asked with a smile.
Katie smiled back, reached inside the case, careful of the glass that had sprayed in small slivers from the spider webs in the top, and withdrew pistol after pistol, setting them on a wooden topped case next to the cash register.
“Forty five caliber, Nine millimeter, a cheap one though. Three eighty, kind of nice, though small. Here’s a much nicer Nine Millimeter.” She set several more guns on the wooden top, looked up with a crooked grin and asked, “Well, gentlemen, lady, what’ll it be?”
“You really know about this kind of shit,” Lydia asked in an awed voice.
“Obviously well enough to know what’s what,” Jake said.
“That’s right. Obviously well enough,” Katie agreed. She gave no further explanation.
“What do you think, Katie?” Jan asked.
“Yeah, what would be the best?” Conner asked.
Katie shrugged. “It depends on what you like. I like a three eighty myself. It’s small, not as heavy as a Nine millimeter.” She pulled her own Nine Millimeter. “This was my Dad's. A good gun, but I liked the three eighty I had. A three eighty won’t really knock somebody down, not like you see in the movies, but a nine millimeter won’t always do that either. It’ll just make a bigger hole. If you want to knock somebody down, you need this.” She held up the bigger forty five caliber pistol. She held the mostly black pistol easily in one hand. “This will knock somebody down and kill them. And on the off chance that your aim was bad and you didn’t immediately kill them, believe me, they are not going to feel like getting back up.” She grinned. “It’s still not like the movies, you know, where you see them flying backwards through the air, but it will knock them down and keep them there.”
“Jesus, girl, I’m, like, in awe,” Lydia said.
“Katie,” Katie said, “and thank you.”
“So how do you know all that? Like for real, how do you know all that shit?”
“My dad was a cop, not in Syracuse, before we moved there. He had a thing for guns. I just caught it. When he knew I was going to be like him when it came to guns, he sent me for training, safety stuff mostly, but I liked it so much I started buying my own weapons. I took the test for the P.D. eventually I would’ve had my foot in the door in Syracuse. That’s a good department. I would’ve been in already if not for the economy.“ She paused for a few beats and hefted the gun in her hand, switching it back and forth between hands, feeling the weight of it.
“The thing is, I love to shoot. I’m good too,” she sighed. “So… What’ll it be?” She let the smile return to her face, reached over and began to jimmy another of the locks on the sliding glass doors.
They spent the good part of two hours in the store. Camping gear, rifles, pistols and ammunition, Conner began to feel like they were equipping their own private army before they were done. By the time they left everyone was carrying at least one pistol, and several rifles and boxes of ammunition had found their way into the back of the trucks. Katie, Conner noticed, had added a matte black forty five caliber pistol to the Nine Millimeter. She wore them in webbed holsters on a wide leather belt.
“I thought you preferred a three eighty,” Conner said half jokingly as he replaced the Nine Millimeter he had decided on into the side holster he had chosen.
“I do,” she said, “For shooting, but like I said, a three eighty won't always knock somebody down.” Her eyes met his.
“Yeah… There is that,” Conner agreed quietly.
They spent a short amount of time looking through a small convenience store in the same parking lot. There was very little left. Most likely cleaned out, James voiced, by the same folks who had tried to take the guns. This was evidenced by smears of maroon on the counter tops. Even so, they managed to find boxes of stuff in the storage area. They finished filling the backs of the trucks with basic First Aid stuff and several boxes full of candy bars and junk food.
The sun had been standing overhead for what seemed like hours. James spoke. “Hotter,” He said. “You can feel the heat. And,” He motioned with his hands, “the snow is melting faster as well.”
“Got a theory on that?” Conner asked.
James shook his head.
“Maybe the whole process takes time,” Katie said.
“Maybe,” Jake agreed. “Maybe it’s not so easy to start something spinning in the other direction. And we don’t know if it really stopped or not. The sun’s coming up in the north, or it was, but that seems to be changing too. I don’t think it stopped all the way. I think it’s just got a different spin now, and maybe a different path.”
James nodded, as did Conner. “I guess we’ll leave it for the scientists... long as we don’t fall off the Earth.” He chuckled a little.
“Call it a day?” Conner asked.
“Yeah,” Jake agreed. “We still have to unload all of this.”
There were a few halfhearted complaints, but everyone piled into the trucks and they made their way slowly back towards the heart of the city and the factory that lay behind the Public Square.
THIRTEEN
March 15th
In The Desert: Billy and Beth
It was late afternoon when Billy awoke. Somewhere in the day Beth had wound up beside him, two spoons in a drawer. He lay still unwilling to let her go, his hand was curled protectively around her. Beth moved and he felt the sleep leave her body. One moment all soft and willing, the next a live wire.
“You didn't cop a feel did you?” Beth asked in a mumbled half sleepy voice.
“Beth, can't you ever just say something like, I don't know, good morning?”
She twisted her head around and smiled. The secret smile she rarely ever gave out. The one that had started him falling in the first place. “Good late afternoon,” she said and the smile slipped away. There was still something there, but it wasn't that secret, vulnerable glimpse into her heart that it was usually. She stretched, yawned, and her feet came up against the door. “Next vehicle we get is an SUV so we have some place to sleep too.”
“I don't know, I kind of liked this,” Billy said before he could shut his mouth down.
Beth laughed and it was the unguarded Beth once more. “As long as you know what the deal is.” She twisted her head once more, and then her entire body so she was looking directly in his eyes.
“I... I know the deal,” Billy said. The press of her body was maddening.
“We really don't need to talk it out?”
“You know how I feel, Beth.”
“I do,” she nodded and her eyes became sad. “Let me just say these few things.” She took a deep breath and then began to speak. “I am attracted to you. I considered sleeping with you before you became my friend, before... Before I knew it couldn't work between us. I even considered it after... Maybe ten minutes ago too, but it would cost me a friend because it wouldn't mean to me what it would mean to you.” She held his eyes as if willing him to understand.
“It's like you see me as this fragile little princess, and I am so far from that, Billy, so far. You have been on the bad side of me and so I can't see why you still try to see me that way.” She laughed. “It's a thing men do. Like... Like that is love, you see? Instead of love just being about all the other stuff... The things I admire about you, you about me. The things in common, the things that we share, the parts of you and me
that are real that end up in the mix, but no, I'm a princess, unattainable beauty, something to worship, and it has nothing to do with what I really am at all. I have lived that way, tried to live up to that. It's not possible... The man I need is out there, I hope. Just someone that looks at me as me.” She watched his eyes.
“I think I can do that,” Billy told her.
Beth laughed.
“No, really. I think I can separate those things... I'm pretty sure.”
“Yeah? I think you like the idea of me... I think you want to fuck me... I think it might even hold together in a situation like this... At least for a while. And I think you could talk me into that comfort we could give each other, and I think you would feel completely different about me once that happened. You would think it meant that we were together, and it wouldn't mean that at all. It would mean we were scared and we took some comfort in each other... Because the attraction was there, and because it can just be about that sometimes.” She drew a breath. “But I think then I would go from princess to whore, because that's the way this world works, princess to whore in sixty seconds. I've seen it... I've felt it... And then I lose my friend, and I also hurt my fiend because he doesn't want to see it, I mean really see it for what it is.” She reached one hand up and pushed Billy's dirty blonde hair away from his eyes. That hair, and the way it hung across his eyes was one of the things that had nearly made her give in. He looked like a little boy, vulnerable, maybe he would love her forever, never hurt her, never treat her badly, never leave, but he would be reacting to something in her that didn't really exist. Something only he saw. That little boy, awestruck, in love, but not the kind of love she needed him to feel, to be in with her... She sighed again. She could see the hurt in his eyes.
“We probably should get going,” Billy said. A smile played across his lips. Tentative, but there.
“Okay,” she laid her head against his chest. “I need a toothbrush... That little bastard made me lose my toothbrush.”
Billy laughed. “I got extras.”
She lifted her face up, “Really?”
“Really.”
She bent and kissed his forehead and then rose from the seat and looked around at the scrub brush and sand before she rose all the way up and sat on the edge of the seat while Billy straightened his long frame out and sat on the drivers side of the seat.
“That felt sort of, I don't know, brotherly... That kiss.”
“I hated my brother,” Beth said. She levered the handle and stepped down to the ground.
“Hey?” Billy said. “I'll work at it... I mean,” he looked at a loss. “I don't want to lose our friendship.”
Beth smiled. “Thanks... I mean it. Now get out here and get me a toothbrush, Billy Jingo.” She laughed as she finished.