If they ever really developed a true brain-to-computer interface, the chaos would be even worse.
Jen had two advantages over normal people, though. One was a lower-than-average fear of embarrassment. And second was her internal image of her own mind.
Modern evidence notwithstanding, most people didn’t really believe their personalities comprised many subselves. Dealing with stray thoughts was to them a matter of control, and not, as Jen saw it, negotiation.
I also have the advantage of age. Fewer rash impulses. Imagine giving a machine like this to young, libidinous, hormone-drenched male pilots! Of all the silly things to do.
Having thought that, she had a sudden memory of Thomas, on that summer day when he took her aloft in his experimental midget-zeppelin, back when such things were rare and so romantic. Her golden hair had whipped in his eyes as he held her close, high over Yorkshire. He had been so young, and so very male …
The unit couldn’t interpret any detail in her vivid recollection, thank heavens! But the sensitivity was set so high, multicolored flashes filled the display, in rhythm to her emotions. Again, a candy-striped feline poked its nose around a corner and mewed.
Back into your lair, tiger, she commanded her totem beast. The creature snarled and slunk back out of sight. The colors also cleared away as Jen consciously acknowledged all the extraneous impulses, quelling their irrelevant clamor.
A clock ticked down. At the one-minute mark there appeared in front of her an image of the Earth’s interior—a complex, many-layered globe.
This wasn’t one of her own, ideogenous constructs, but a direct feed from Kenda’s panel. Deep inside the core, a stylized purple curve showed the orbit of their enemy, Beta. Already that trajectory showed marginal deviations, disturbed by earlier proddings from the four Tangoparu resonators.
Outside that envelope lay a region of blue strands where channels of softened mantle flickered with sudden, superconducting electricity—the temporary concentrations of extra energy Kenda’s team needed for the coming push. She listened as the techs maintained a running commentary. They would wait till Beta’s orbit brought it behind a likely looking thread, then set off the “gazer”—Alex’s bizarre, incredible invention—releasing coherent gravitational waves and giving their foe another tiny nudge.
Jen felt a surge of adrenaline. Whatever the outcome, this was memorable. She hoped she’d live long enough to be proud of all this someday.
Hell, there’s a part of me that doesn’t care about the pride. It just wants to live longer, period.
There is, within me, a bit that wants to live forever.
It was a conceit that demanded a reply. And so, from some recess of imagination, something caused the subvocal to display a string of gilt words, right in front of her.
… If that is what you want, my daughter, that is what you shall have. For did I not promise you exactly that, long, long ago?
Jen laughed. In a low voice she answered. “Yes you did, Mother. You promised. I remember it well.” She shook her head, marveling at the texture of her own imagination, even after all these years. “Oh, I am a pip. I am.”
Concentrating carefully, Jen ignored further input from her goddess or any other extraneous corner of her mind. She focused instead upon the planned procedure and paid attention to the Earth.
To the Efé people, the advancing jungle was just another invader to adapt to. Legends told of many others, even long before the Tall People came and went away again.
To Kau, leader of his small band of pygmies, the forest was more real, more immediate, than that other world had been—back when he used to wear shirts woven in faraway factories and carried a carbine as a “scout” for something called “the Army of Zaire.” One thing for certain, the Tall People had been easier to please than any jungle. You could play to their greed or superstition or vanity, and get all sorts of things the jungle provided grudgingly, if at all.
The women, like his wife, Ulokbi, used to work in the gardens of the Lessé people for a share of the crop. In those days, Kau and his brothers hunted as they pleased, taking paper money for many of their kills, flattering themselves they were woodsmen as skilled as their grandfathers had been, before the hills were laced with wires and pipelines and logging roads.
Now the Lessé were gone. Gone too were the gardens, roads, carbines, and armies. In their place had come rain and more rain … and jungle such as even Kau’s father’s grandfather had never seen. Now Kau tried to remember and teach his grandsons skills he himself once thought quaint.
It was all very strange. Without the old district clinic, many children now died. And yet, Efé numbers were on the rise. Kau could not account for it. But then, one did not try as hard anymore, to account for things.
Now a new invader was seen clambering through the trees. Chimpanzees, spreading from what had been their last redoubts, were also increasing, returning to reclaim their ancient range.
“Are they good to eat, grandfather?” His eldest grandson asked one day, when their path crossed under that of a small ape band, foraging in the canopy overhead. Kau thought back, remembering meat he’d tasted in his youth. It hadn’t been all that bad.
But then he recalled, also, when the Efé used to squat at the back of a Lessé village clearing while movies were shown against a tattered screen. One had been a disturbing tale, all about apes that had talked and yet were misunderstood and abused in one of the Tall People’s crazy cities. He remembered being sad—thinking of them as his brothers.
“No,” Kau told his grandson, improvising as he went along. “They have almost-people spirits. We’ll eat them only if we’re starving. Never before.”
One day, not long after, he awoke to find a mound of fruit piled high beside his hut. Kau contemplated no connection between the two events. He did not have to.
• EXOSPHERE
Teresa rose toward consciousness and for a fey moment felt as if she were in two places at once.
With the deceitful certainty of dreams, she lay lazily, contentedly, beside Jason’s warmth. She heard her husband’s breath and felt his man-sized bulk nearby—its weight and strength—which only a little while ago she had welcomed upon her, creating a continuum of he, she, and the world.
At the same time, another part of her knew that Jason’s nearness was ersatz, based on a close but oh so different reality.
There’s no urgency, a third voice urged, pleading compromise. No duty calls. Hold onto the illusion a little longer.
So she tried to go on pretending. After all, can’t believing sometimes make dreams come true?
No, it can’t. Besides, you’re awake now.
And anyway, she went on, just to be mean. Jason’s on a one-way trip to some far star.
Without opening her eyes, she remembered where she was now. The ice told her. Even kilometers away, the Greenland glacier made her senses dip, tugged at her equilibrium, set her teetering. Just as the sloping mattress seemed to draw her toward the weight beside her.
He doesn’t twitch much, she thought about the man sleeping only a foot away, his mass pushing a well into the foam rubber pad. Jason used to give those sudden, tiny jerks … like a dog dreaming he’s chasing rabbits.
A woman has to get used to a lot when she marries, and so Jason’s nighttime movements had caused some sleeplessness back at the beginning. But that wasn’t half as bad as when he would suddenly, for no apparent reason, stop breathing! The rhythm of his soft snores would cease and she’d snap wide awake in alarm.
It took the base surgeon and a dozen scholarly references to convince her that mild, intermittent apnea in adult males was nothing by itself to worry about. In time she grew accustomed to all of it. To the twitches, the snores, the sudden pauses. In fact, what had been irritating became familiar, comforting, normal.
But just when you get used to someone. Just when you’ve reached the point where there’s nowhere else in the world you feel safer. When you feel all is well. That’s when it all gets ri
pped away from you again. Damned world.
Tears offered one benefit. They washed away the scratchy, “rusty drawer” effect of opening your eyes from sleep. The liquid blur blinked away and the cabin swam into focus—an insulated prefab with ribs of cured, undressed pine. The furniture was spare and economical—a small bureau, chairs, and a table bearing two used candles, two glasses, and an empty wine bottle. An open closet held exactly six changes of clothes, including an impressive arctic suit that wouldn’t need much alteration to work on Mars.
If anyone ever got to Mars.
Pervading the room were odors, from the candles, from machinery … and others Teresa admitted feeling ambivalent about. Powerful ambivalence.
Hers for instance. Her own sweat. Her shampoo. All mingled with the overpowering aroma of a man.
“Good morning, Emma.”
She turned her head on the pillow and saw his pale blue eyes looking into hers. He’s been watching me, she realized. He was so still. I thought he was asleep.
“Mmmp,” she said, rubbing her eyes to wipe away any trace of tears. “G’mornin’. What time is it?”
Lars glanced over her head. “Plenty early, yes. Did you sleep well?”
“Fine. Fine.” She pushed her pillow back against the headboard and sat up, keeping the sheet above her breasts. They still throbbed pleasantly from his attentive study hours earlier. So intent had he been, so assiduous, one might have thought he intended memorizing them and every other contour of her body.
It had felt good. Had been good. A woman needs appreciation, worship, from time to time. There had been a dozen good reasons to say yes to this. He was a nice man. Their quick-scan blood tests had checked out okay. It had been far too long. And Teresa knew she didn’t talk in her sleep.
Teresa lived by checklists. They were modern mantras to peace of mind. By any logical checklist, she should feel okay about this. Still, there remained an unreasoning part of her which adamantly sought excuses to feel guilty.
“I … have packing to do,” she said.
“It’s only six. I wish you’d stay a while. I will cook breakfast. I melted glacier ice already for coffee.” In Japan, they paid fifty thousand yen a kilo for the best ten-thousand-year-old blue ice. Here, of course, one didn’t have to pay freight or refrigeration charges or even a resource-depletion tax. Ancient ice lay right outside the front door, in gigatons.
“I have one more survey scan to help with this morning … and the zep picks me up at fifteen hundred …”
“Emma, I almost have the feeling you want to get away from me.”
She’d been avoiding his eyes. Now she looked up again quickly. Ah, she thought. No fair smiling at me like that!
Lars was everything the teenager inside her could hope to swoon for. Built for power and endurance, he nevertheless was gentle and tactile with those calloused hands. His face was a regular delight: rugged and yet retaining a touch of innocence about the eyes. It pleased Teresa such a young, handsome fellow showed so much enthusiasm for her. It was good for the morale. Good for her self-esteem.
Hell, last night was much better than good. If ever one night’s solitary consummation can be called “good.” And clearly one night was all this could ever be.
She reached up and caressed his cheek, thrilling to the prickly touch of his morning stubble. For the moment, reality was nice enough. When his hand stroked gently up her side, settling eventually over one breast, she exhaled a sigh that was ninety-five percent pleasure. The rest could go to hell.
“No, Lars. I don’t feel I have to get away from you.”
As he bent to whisper in her ear, Teresa knew yet another way to feel good about this. “Emma,” he murmured, speaking the name on her passport, the woman she was during this brief interlude.
As Emma then, she clung to him and again sighed.
Stan Goldman escorted her to the aerodrome when it was time for her to leave. The small cargo zeppelin was already moored, its transparent flanks turned toward the sun to focus every available watt onto its internal photocells.
Together they walked the long way across the open moraine, he immersed in his own thoughts and she in hers. “Here, take a look at this,” Stan said at one point, leading her a few meters to the left. “Do you see that?”
“See what?” He was pointing at a jumble of stones.
“Yesterday those were in a stack. I put them there. Today it’s toppled.”
Teresa nodded. “Quakes.” In her valise she. carried data on the recent increase in local, low-level Earth tremors, gathered with the finest instruments. “Why the poor man’s seismograph, Stan?”
The elderly physicist smiled. “Never put all your confidence in sophisticated gadgets, my dear. It’s as bad as trusting faith alone, or math, or your own senses.”
Actually, Teresa’s nickname in the Bus Driver’s Guild was “Show Me” Tikhana. She nodded in agreement. “I’ll try to remember that.”
“Good. The Lord gave us eyes and imagination, faith and reason, enthusiasm and obstinacy. Each has its place.” He kicked one of the fallen rocks. “I’m afraid it won’t be long before a lot more people suspect something’s going on.”
So far only a few obscure sources on the Net were commenting on the pickup in worldwide seismic activity. But she knew what incident had Stan particularly worried. “Have they found that plane yet?” she asked. “The one in Antarctica?”
He shook his head. “They’re assuming it crashed. But there’s not a peep from the flight transponder. And you heard the report of that ozone scientist, who claimed seeing something flash into the sky? The location corresponds with the plane’s last known position … and the emergence point of one of our recent beams.
“I’m afraid we’ve probably inflicted our first casualties.”
Teresa forgave Stan his oversight. Or maybe he was right to leave out those killed on Erehwon. That debacle had been a true accident, after all. This time though, despite all their precautions, they were directly to blame. Everyone in the cabal knew this venture would cost even more lives before it was over.
For a few minutes they walked in silence. Teresa thought about cracks in the ice, fractures in the ground, peals of thunder in the sky.
She also thought about how good it felt to breathe the crisp air. To feel the breeze off the glacier on her skin. To be alive.
“I wish I could go with you,” Stan said as they neared the bobbing zeppelin. “I’d give anything to talk to Alex and George and find out what’s going on in the big picture. Our images of the interior are poor with this slave resonator. The master must be giving Alex such a view of the beast.”
Teresa realized he must envy Lustig the chance to map their enemy’s anatomy, too small to measure except in units familiar to atoms, denser than a neutron star. “I’ll have him send you a portrait with the next courier. You can keep it by your bedside, along with Ellen and the grandkids.”
Her gentle teasing made him grin. “You do that.”
Standing near the gangway, he offered his hand. She threw her arms around him instead. I’ll also tell Ellen she’s a lucky old girl.
Lifting her eyes over his shoulder, she saw a much taller man at the edge of the field, standing near a big, round lifter-crane. His hands are probably already stained with oil, she thought, recalling how, even after Lars had washed, his skin had given off the piquant, exciting tang of engines. They had said their good-byes … she with a promise of a future message or visit he probably knew to be a lie. And so he simply lifted his hand and shared with her a soft smile of no regrets.
NASA thought she was still at a seclusion resort in Australia. It wouldn’t do to have a random Net inventory show her flitting about on the other side of the globe. But at any moment there were millions drifting across the sky in everything from cruise liners to economy “cattle cars” to tramp freighters like this one. That was why the trip back to New Zealand would include several lighter-than-air legs, linking points where she could sneak long passages o
n Tangoparu Ltd. turboprops. Settling near a window to observe the crew cast off, Teresa resigned herself to a long time alone with her thoughts.
Two men watched her go. One waving from the docking site and the other farther off, standing next to an open cowling. But as the airship leaped in a rush of released buoyancy, Teresa’s gaze lifted beyond the airstrip, beyond the dome where Stan’s crew conspired to chivvy a monster, beyond the stony pit where sleuths sought clues to ancient cataclysms. She skimmed breathlessly over the great ice sheet, but even its mass could not hold her. Teresa felt a lifting in her heart. The soft, happy thrumming of the little zep’s engines seemed to resonate with the tempo of her pulse.
It was no unaccustomed thing, this affair she had with flight. And yet each time felt as if she’d fallen in love again. It was a romance separate from all earthly ardors, more steadfast, yet unjealous of any other passion.
It’s not speed that matters, she thought. It’s the act. It’s breaking the bonds.
Far beyond the unsetting sun, she felt the pull of faraway planets and longed to follow even there.
It’s flying …, she thought.
So Teresa crossed her arms and settled in to make the best of a long voyage round the world.
Elvis roams the open interstates in a big white Cadillac.
It has to be him. How else to explain what so many flywheel-bus and commuter-zep riders claim to have seen … that plume of dust trailing like rocket exhaust behind something too fast and glittery to be tracked with the naked eye?
Squint and you might glimpse him behind the wheel, steering with one wrist while fiddling the radio dial, then reaching for that never-ending, always frosty can of beer. “Thank you, honey,” he tells the blonde next to him as he steps on the accelerator.
The roar of V-8 power, the gasoline smell of freedom, the rush of clean wind blowing back his hair … Elvis hoots and lifts one arm to wave at all true Americans who still believe in him.