“But he’s hurt.”
Strong and smart.
I nod, but don’t elaborate.
“You’ve never lied to me, E. Not once.”
“No, ma’am.”
“So, why are you now?”
“I’m not lying.”
Gabby snorts and I send her a hard stare, shutting her up.
“You’re not telling me everything. How did you find him? Was he arrested?”
“I didn’t find him.”
She tilts her head to the side, and there she is. My Van. She narrows her eyes, and I know I’m in for it.
Thank Christ.
“What. The. Fuck.”
“Ben found him.” Her eyes widen, but I continue. “I haven’t seen him yet. But I saw Ben. Swollen knuckles, sweaty. A little blood.”
“Blood!”
“Don’t you dare defend that fucker,” Gabby says angrily.
“No, I want to know if it was Ben’s blood!”
I smirk. “Honey, nobody makes Ben bleed.”
She sighs in relief, but then frowns again. “So, Ben called the cops?”
“I honestly don’t know how it went down. I’m assuming we’ll find out tomorrow. Ben found him, and made him see that turning himself in was best for Lance’s well-being.”
Van’s lower lip quivers, making my gut tighten. “He did that for me.”
“We would do anything for you, bebe.” She grips onto my hand with her uninjured one and squeezes, holding my gaze in hers, and an entire silent conversation passes between us.
I love you. Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.
I love you. Always. You’re welcome. You don’t ever have to know what it is to live without us.
“Go home,” she whispers instead. “Take Kate home. She’s tired, but she won’t admit it.”
“I’m not tired,” Kate lies easily.
“She’s lying,” Van says.
“I know,” I reply with a grin and glance over at Gabby, who still has tears in her eyes. “You got this?”
“Of course.” She grins, the dimples in her cheeks showing. “Vanny’s stuck with me all night. It’ll be like when we were kids and I’d sneak into her room and sleep with her because my room was haunted.”
“Your room wasn’t haunted,” Van replies with a roll of the eyes. “You just liked my bigger bed.”
“My room was haunted,” she insists, talking to Kate now. “My things would be mysteriously moved. I heard voices.”
“Those voices are in that hard head of yours,” I reply and grin when she sticks her tongue out at me, just like she did when she was small. “But I am going to take Kate home now.”
“Kate appreciates it,” Kate says sarcastically. “She also loves it when you talk about her like she’s not here.”
“She’s testy,” Van says. “She’s been bossing the nurses around all day.”
“I’m right here,” Kate says.
“I know how to reel that bossy side in,” I assure Van, and laugh when Kate mutters right here, people. “We will check in on you in the morning.”
“Good night.”
I take Kate’s hand in mine and kiss it as I lead her out of Van’s room and into the hallway. As soon as we’re out of view, she pulls her hand from mine and walks ahead of me to the elevator, keeping her distance as we wait.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
She simply nods, her eyes trained on the door of the elevator.
Another lie.
I move to brush her hair behind her ear, but she flinches away from my reach. My first reaction is frustration. Does she think that I would hurt her? But then she turns her sad green eyes to me and just shakes her head, and I relax.
It’s not me. She’s hanging on by a fucking thread.
I nod once and keep my distance to the car. Halfway home, I try to take her hand in mine, but she pulls away and clasps her hands tightly in her lap. Her whole body is tense. Her eyes trained on her lap.
For the first time in my life, I want to make it better for a woman. I want to hold her and protect her, and she’s not mine.
She’s never going to be mine. And the thought of her leaving makes me feel…
I don’t know what, it just makes me feel.
I park and she jumps out of the car, walking quickly to her loft.
“Kate. You’re coming up to my place.”
“No. I’m not.” She doesn’t stop walking.
“Yes, cher, you are.”
She stops and turns to glare at me. “No, I’m not. I don’t want you tonight, Eli.”
“You’re getting me.”
“You know what?” she rails, her eyes fierce, her gorgeous hair a riot of curls around her face. She advances toward me, anger vibrating in every muscle of her body. “I don’t need this. I don’t need another man telling me what I will and will not do.”
“You shouldn’t be alone.”
“Shouldn’t. Won’t. Can’t.” She gets up in my face, and I’ve never seen anything like her. She’s on fire, standing out here on the sidewalk in the French Quarter, yelling at me. “You’re an asshole!”
Shot to the gut.
“I’ve never claimed otherwise, cher.” My voice is perfectly calm. My hands are in my pockets, so I don’t reach for her and pull her in.
Not yet.
“You just play with people and their emotions! You’re just selfish and heartless!”
My eyes narrow on her face. Her eyes are tearing up, her cheeks rosy, and her bottom lip quivers as she shoves her fists into my chest, knocking me back a step.
She’s surprisingly strong for such a little thing.
“You just hurt people!” she yells.
“Who are you talking to right now, Kate?” I ask softly. Her eyes focus on me, and her face crumples as she begins to cry. “Ah, bebe.” I hug her tight to me, and she fights me, trying to wrench her way out of my arms, but I hold firm. “Shhh. You’re safe, Kate. Let go. Cry. Scream. Do whatever you need to, sweetheart. I have you. I’m not letting go.”
“I don’t want you to see this.”
“God save me from proud women,” I mumble into her hair, as I press kisses to the top of her head, breathing her in. She begins to cry in earnest now, gripping onto my shirt rather than trying to get away. I scoop her up into my arms and carry her inside as she buries her face in my neck and cries; loud, body-shaking sobs making their way through her as though the storm has finally washed over her and all she can do is ride it out and survey the damage later.
And it’s killing me. I don’t take her upstairs to the bedroom. Instead, I carry her into the living room, sit on the couch, and simply hold her in my lap, my arms tight around her, and let her cry.
I brush her hair off her face, wishing I had a cool washcloth. Her back is slender under my hands as I caress her slowly, trying to comfort her.
Finally, after long minutes, the sobbing slows, and she is reduced to hiccoughs, then sniffles. Her small body still shaking. Her hands still clinging to me, as if I could let her go.
Not happening.
“Made a mess of you,” she whispers roughly.
“Doesn’t matter,” I reply in the same whisper. The house is quiet around us as we sit here, holding onto each other.
“I know what she felt,” she whispers, but then doesn’t elaborate, and I don’t ask her to. Finally, she says, “I know how it felt every time he kicked her. Pulled her hair. Wrenched her arm. Held her down while he—” The last word comes on a sob, and I tighten my arms around her as I wish for the chance to have Kate’s ex-husband alone in a room for just five minutes. “At least I was never almost drowned.”
I have to swallow the bile that rises up in my throat.
“Do all men hurt women?” she asks softly.
“No.”
She simply nods.
“I hate that this happened to her. She’ll question herself for a long time. What did I do to make him hurt me? Why wasn’t I good enough, smart
enough, for him? If I had just done this or that, he wouldn’t have gotten mad.” My hands reflexively fist in her shirt. “Long after the bruises fade, and her shoulder heals, she’ll still be broken.”
“Do you think you’re still broken, Kate?” I ask softly. She stills, then loops her arms around my neck and hugs me close, burying her fingers in my hair, and I return the hug, enjoying the way she feels in my lap, pressed against me.
“Sometimes I think I’ll always be broken,” she whispers into my ear, tears in her voice.
I cup her cheek in my hand and tip her face up so I can look her in the eye. Her tears make me feel so fucking helpless. I don’t do helpless.
Shit, I don’t do feelings. Or I didn’t, until I met her.
“Do you want to know what I think?”
“Maybe,” she replies with a sniffle.
I grin and tuck her hair behind her ear, then let my fingertips trail down her wet cheek. “I think that you are smart, funny, and sexy as fuck.”
She grins and her green eyes darken, making my cock stir.
“I also think you’re stubborn.” She sniffles and raises an eyebrow. “I know you’re beautiful.” She tries to look down, but I tip her chin back up with my finger. “You are beautiful. Every freckle on your gorgeous little body drives me crazy. But, more than that, Kate? You’re strong. Determined. You have a backbone.”
Tears fill her eyes again, and I can’t stand it. I tip my forehead against hers. “You’re not broken, cher. He hurt you. But no one broke you.”
“Thank you for that,” she whispers, and kisses my lips softly before tucking her face back into my neck and beginning to cry again. Softly now. A cleansing cry. The kind of cry that sweeps out the demons and makes room for the good.
Kate deserves so much good.
***
There’s a buzzing in my pocket.
And a woman lying on top of me.
I open one eye and squint at the light in the room. We’re still in the living room, stretched out on the couch, cuddled up much like we were at the inn when we watched the movie.
Well, pretended to watch the beginning of the movie.
Kate’s face is snuggled against my heart, her arms wrapped around my sides, legs entangled with mine. The only way we’d be able to get much closer is if we were naked. And it feels fucking amazing.
Imagine that.
The buzzing begins again in my pocket.
“Are you going to answer that?” Kate asks without moving, making me grin. I fish my phone out of my pocket, with Kate’s dead weight on me, and frown when I see Declan’s name on the caller ID.
“Hey,” I answer. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, as far as I know,” he replies. I can hear street noises. “You sound funny. Were you still asleep?”
“No,” I lie, and Kate pokes me in the ribs and hisses, “No lying.”
“It’s after nine, Eli.”
“Are you the morning police?”
“Don’t you have to be at work?”
“That’s the thing about being the boss. I can go into work when and if the desire strikes.” I kiss Kate’s head and grin again as she shimmies against me, getting more comfortable, and succeeding in making sure my morning semi-hard-on is now just a hard-on.
But then she looks up at me, and everything in me just goes…tender. Her eyes are swollen and red. Her hair tangled around her face. Lips swollen from licking and biting them as she cried.
If I have anything to say about it, she’ll never have another reason to be devastated like this in her life.
And that’s ridiculous because she isn’t mine.
Except, she’s mine for right now, and that’s all that matters.
“Eli?”
“Sorry, what?”
“If you tell me that you’re having sex while on the phone with me, I will deck the fuck out of you when I see you.”
“You don’t scare me.”
“He’s not having sex,” Kate says into the phone, and giggles as she snuggles into me again.
I’ve never loved to snuggle. I mean, it’s a necessity to snuggle right after sex. Otherwise, you’re just a prick who wanted to fuck her. And I am, but even I know the importance of the obligatory snuggle.
That isn’t what this is.
“I might have sex after we hang up,” I clarify, earning another giggle from Kate.
“No, he won’t. At least not with me.”
I slap Kate’s ass and laugh when she pinches my side. “What’s up, Dec?”
“Just wanted to give you an update on Van. She’s doing better this morning. Stiff and sore, but her ribs aren’t broken, and there’s no bleeding. They’ll let her go to Mama’s this afternoon.”
“She’ll love that,” I say dryly.
“Gabby wanted her to go to the inn, but I put the nix on that. Van will try to help. If we have her go to Mama’s, she’ll be pampered and taken care of.”
“She’ll die of boredom in a week.”
“Maybe in a week she can go to Gabby’s,” he reasons, and I agree. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know so you can look in on her at Mama’s tonight. I’ll be by too.”
“Thanks.”
“And just so you know, Eli, she doesn’t look good.”
“I know. I saw her last night. But she’s going to be fine, Dec.”
“Yeah. Yeah, she will.”
We ring off and I toss my phone on the floor and hug Kate close. “Now, what’s this about me not having sex this morning?”
“I don’t have time.”
“Do you have somewhere you need to be?”
“Yes,” she laughs. “I need to go in to work. As it is, I’m very late.”
“You’re with the boss, Kate.”
“No one else knows that.” She moves to climb off of me, but I tug her back into my arms and turn us on our sides, her between me and the back of the couch, and kiss her softly.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
I lean back so I can look at her clearly, and aside from the puffiness and redness, I can see that she’s telling the truth.
“Strong girl,” I whisper and kiss her forehead.
“I’m also late.”
“Are we back to this?”
“I’m serious, Eli. I have a mountain of work, and I have some leads that I’m following.”
“What leads?” I ask.
“Let me see if they go anywhere. All I have are hunches right now. I’ll fill you in as soon as I have anything solid.” She smiles and kisses my chin. “So, I really do have to go to work. And so do you.”
“I do.” I sigh and don’t move. “I’m going to go check on Savannah this afternoon.”
“I’ll go this evening.”
“Just ride with me this afternoon.”
“I can’t.” She rolls her eyes and I grin because she’s adorable. “You and I aren’t doing…stuff.”
“If by stuff you mean kissing,” I kiss her lips, “and touching,” drag my hand down her side to her hip, “and fucking,” pull her against me so she can feel my hard cock against her abdomen, “yes, we are.”
“No one else knows that. I can’t arrive late and leave early, Eli. But I will let you do stuff to me later.”
“We’re going to keep working on your vocabulary, cher.”
She grins up at me as she slides her leg up mine and presses her center against me, making my eyes cross.
“I’m looking forward to it.”
Chapter Fifteen
“How are you adjusting?” I ask Van as I lean back in my chair and prop the phone between my ear and shoulder, returning an email.
“You know I love the inn,” she replies. It’s good to hear the smile in her voice. “And I love Mama too, but after the eighth day, I was ready to make an escape.”
“Mama enjoyed babying you for a while,” I reply.
“I really could go home, you know. I’m feeling pretty much normal again. I need to work.”
&n
bsp; “You need to relax.”
“I have work, Eli.”
“We may fall apart around here without you,” the sarcasm in my voice is thick, “but we’ll muddle our way through. Just enjoy the inn. Get well.”
“I forgot how much I love being out here,” she concedes. “And Sam is so adorable. He brought me breakfast in bed this morning. Gogurt and Goldfish crackers.”
“Breakfast of champions.”
“Oh, I have to go take a call for Gabby. I’ll call you later.”
“Bye.”
I hang up and sigh. I’m restless. It’s been more than a week since Van was hurt. She’s doing well. The past week has been a blur of police statements, long days at work, and short nights with Kate.
Kate.
She’s been working her own ass off. She works late into the evening, and is up early again the next morning. I see her long enough to sink inside her sweet body, then curl up around her and sleep.
I rub my hand over my mouth as it occurs to me that I miss her.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I turn my attention back to work, but it’s no use. I can’t focus. I can’t think of anything but Kate, and quickly decide to rectify the situation.
“Put me through to Kate O’Shaughnessy’s office,” I instruct my assistant and grin when I hear Kate answer with an irritated, “This is Kate.”
“This is Eli,” I reply. “I need you to gather all of your notes and files on your project and come to my office, please.”
“Is there a problem?” she asks.
“Ten minutes,” I reply, rather than answer, and hang up the phone. I answer several emails and calls before Kate is announced and shown into my office. I gesture for her to have a seat, then stand, cross to the door, lock it, and return to my own seat behind the desk.
“Good morning.” My voice is formal, professional, and makes Kate frown.
“Hello,” she replies. “Eli, is something wrong?”
“No.” I shake my head and steeple my fingers. “I just want an update.”
She narrows her eyes on me for a moment. I cock an eyebrow and simply wait, and finally, she opens a file and begins to talk.
And I don’t even know what the fuck she’s talking about. Her words mean nothing to me. All I can think about his how that skirt fits tight on her hips and ass and her white blouse fits tight across her tits. She loves expensive underwear, which makes my cock hard and my heart pound, and I want to know what she’s wearing under that outfit.