I’m sure Lena’s right. The housekeeper found it and set it out. It’s certainly more expensive and fancier than what I normally wear, so she probably thought she was doing a good thing by displaying it. I’ll just let her know that I don’t want her to rearrange my things anymore.
“Someone had a good weekend,” Lena says with a smile.
“Are you reading me?”
“Honey, I don’t have to be psychic to feel the sex vibes rolling off of you.”
I feel my cheeks pinken. “There might have been some sex.”
“Uh huh.” She parks in front of Ben’s dojo and cuts the engine. “Good for you.”
“Oh yeah,” I reply, nodding. “It’s good for me.”
Lena snorts as she climbs out of the car and joins me as we walk inside. Some of the girls who take the class are already here, stretching on the floor of the classroom. Ethan, Ben’s manager, is at the counter, talking to a muscular guy that I haven’t seen before.
I glance around, looking for Ben, but I don’t see him.
“I wonder where Ben is,” I murmur.
“He’s in there,” Lena says, pointing to a smaller classroom. Ben’s in there, instructing a woman.
And his hands are on her. She’s a bit taller than me, and definitely younger. Blonde, with boobs that she definitely paid for.
And she’s smiling up at my boyfriend like he hung the fucking moon. Ben’s hands are on her hips and he’s talking to her. She laughs like he’s just said the funniest thing ever and braces her hand on his chest.
“Take a breath,” Lena says. “This is his job.”
“I’m okay,” I lie and walk into our classroom.
I’m so not okay. I’m jealous as fuck and even though it’s stupid, I can’t help it. His hands are on another woman and she’s freaking flirting with him. I’m not even in the same category as okay.
I’m pissed as hell, and the fact that this is his job doesn’t make me feel any better.
Thankfully, class starts right away. This is the best place to let go of some pent up aggression. We spend the next hour punching, kicking, and sparring and when we’re done, I’m dripping in sweat.
“I’m glad I wasn’t your sparring partner,” Lena says as we get ready to leave. “You kicked her ass.”
“She’s fine,” I reply.
“Do you feel any better?”
“No.” I glance around to see if Ben’s around, and he’s just saying goodbye to the hooker he was teaching while I was in class. “I know I said that I’d catch a ride home with Ben, but would you mind dropping me off?”
“Not at all,” Lena replies. “Let’s go.”
“Van.” Ben calls out to me, but I act like I don’t hear him and don’t turn around. Instead, I hurry to Lena’s car and jump in. Ben walks out after us, and our eyes lock for a moment, but Lena takes off before he can open my door.
“He looks pissed,” Lena says.
“I don’t care. I’m pissed. And I also don’t care that it’s stupid to be pissed because this is his job and blah blah blah. Fuck that. His hands were all over that woman, and I don’t like it.”
“I can tell,” Lena says. “And frankly, I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t like it either.”
“See? Good. I haven’t been jealous in years. I can’t even remember the last time, but all I can see is green right now. I want to punch that chick in the throat.”
“Hey, he’s your man and she touched him. That’s a perfectly normal response.”
“You’re a good friend,” I reply as she pulls into my driveway. “I can see why Mallory loves you so much, and I’m glad that you’re part of our little circle now.”
“Thanks.” She smiles and waves as I walk to the front door. She waits for me to get inside safely before she drives away.
I have too much energy. I pick up my mail and thumb through the envelopes, but I don’t really see any of it and I toss it all on the coffee table in my living room and then decide that although I just had an amazing workout, I’m not done.
I want to run.
And those who know me well know that running is not my thing.
But I don’t know how to get rid of this energy without breaking stuff. So I take off down my street. I know which streets to stick to, and which areas are a bit shady. I’m not in good enough running shape to go far anyway.
Am I being stupid? I mean, she was a client. And the fact that she was flirting with him isn’t really Ben’s fault. And, he wasn’t touching her inappropriately. My instructor touches me the same way all the damn time. But the difference is, she’s a woman and not some dude that I would like to climb like an oak tree.
I circle around the corner of my block and run smack dab into a hard chest. Ben’s arms wrap around me so I don’t fall, and I immediately step out of his hold.
“What’s going on, Van?”
“I went for a run,” I reply and keep running back to my house, just three doors down. I don’t look back, but I can hear him jogging behind me. He’s not even breathing hard when we get to my front door, and I’ll admit that the black T-shirt he’s wearing does amazing things to his arms.
Those tattoos get me every damn time.
But right now, I’m pissed.
“Talk to me.” Ben follows me inside and gently closes the door behind us. He’s cool as the proverbial cucumber and I’m ready to come out of my skin.
“I didn’t say there was anything to talk about.”
“Stop it.” My eyes whip up to his, and although he’s calm, his eyes are annoyed.
Good. We can be annoyed together.
“Please tell me why you’re mad at me.”
“I don’t know if mad is a good word for it,” I reply and wander back to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
“What word would you use?”
“Pissed. Irritated. Irate.” I shrug and twist the cap off, chugging the water.
“Why?”
I shrug a shoulder, and that’s about all Ben can take of me. He crossed his arms over his chest and leans against the wall, watching me.
“We can do this all night,” he says.
“No, we can’t because I’m asking you to leave.”
Pain moves through his eyes now, and I feel like a grade A shit.
“I’m not leaving.”
I cock a brow. “Fine. Stay. I’ll leave.”
“Enough.” He grips my shoulders tightly in his hands and holds me in front of him. “What the fuck is going on, Savannah?”
“That woman had her hands on you!” I jerk out of his hold but I stay where I am and confront him. “And you had your hands on her. And it fucking pissed me off.”
“The client?”
“If the client is a cute little twenty-something blonde with big tits, then yes. The client.”
“Van—”
“I know!” I begin to pace now, just as frustrated with me as he is. “I know that it’s your job and that there are clients and you have to touch them, but damn it, Ben, it was a cute girl who looked at you like you were dessert and she was going to eat you with a fucking spoon.”
“Savannah.” His eyes aren’t hurt or irritated anymore. They also aren’t full of humor, which is good for him because if he decided to make fun of me right now, I’d throat punch him.
“I didn’t like it.”
“I can see that.”
“And I hate that I’m suddenly this stupid jealous woman—”
“You’re not stupid.”
“But I can’t help it. You’re mine, damn it.”
The next thing I know, my back is pressed against the wall and Ben is kissing me like it’s going out of style. His hands fist in my hair, his thigh presses against my core, and I want to climb him like a fucking oak tree.
His lips kiss down to my neck as he boosts me up, cradling his hard, denim-covered cock against me. My legs wrap around his waist.
We’re both still fully clothed, but holy Hannah the sexiness is off
the damn charts.
“She doesn’t do this to me,” Ben says, pressing hard against me. “No one does this to me but you.”
“Damn right.”
His eyes darken and he carries me to the guest room down the hall. There’s no time to go upstairs. He sets me down long enough to strip us both out of our clothes and then throws me on the bed.
I don’t even have time to be worried about the fact that I’m sweaty and probably smelly. He covers me and pins my hands above my head. His mouth and free hand are everywhere. My nipples are puckered and my hips are moving in circles, desperate for him to fill me.
“Ben.”
“That’s right,” he says. He grabs my chin. “Open your eyes. You are everything I want. I don’t give a fuck about any other woman, client or not. Let them flirt and make a fool of themselves. It doesn’t matter, Savannah, because you are all I think about.
“You are all I see.”
I try to move my hands so I can touch him, grip his cock, and guide him inside me, but he holds me firm.
“I want to touch you.”
“Not this time,” he informs me. “I’m about one second away from being far rougher than I should be with you.”
I frown. “I’m not fragile.”
He swallows hard and I can see that he’s struggling to keep himself in check.
“I’m safe with you,” I say and kiss his bicep. “I want to touch you.”
He releases my hands and his inhibitions all at once. He palms my ass in one hand, tilting my hips so he can easily slide inside me, and that metal rubs the length of me, making me groan.
“God I love that piercing.”
“I love you,” he growls and sets a fast, hard pace. “This is mine. You are mine, Savannah. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.”
He’s not being careful the way he has every time before. He’s marking his territory, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life.
“Don’t you ever fucking forget what you are to me,” he says. His blue eyes are on fire and on mine.
“What am I?” I ask and watch in fascination as his eyes darken. His jaw tightens. His grip on my ass digs in just enough to sting.
It’s fucking delicious.
“You’re everything.” He kisses me, his lips much gentler than the rest of him. “You are the beginning and the end of me, Savannah. I don’t work without you.”
“You’re my everything too,” I reply. Suddenly, he pulls out and flips me over, slaps my ass, and slides inside me again. His legs are straddling mine, pinning me to the bed.
It feels so good.
So damn good.
“Shit, Ben, I’m gonna—”
“Fuck yes,” he growls next to my ear. “Let go, love.”
I couldn’t hold back if I tried. I explode beneath him, my entire being shattering into a billion tiny pieces.
As I come down from the orgasm high, Ben kisses my shoulders and down my spine as he pulls out of me and helps me turn onto my back.
“Is that settled?” he asks.
“Oh yeah.” I’m still working on catching my breath. “Yeah, I think that’s settled. But I think that once in a while you can remind me. Because that might have been the sexiest thirty minutes of my life.”
“It might have been fifteen minutes.”
“Whatever.” I can’t move yet, but I summon enough strength to cup Ben’s cheek and smile up at him. “You’re sexy.”
“You’re a challenge.”
“I think I’m supposed to be a challenge.”
“Well, then you’re the world champion at it.”
He grins and drags his knuckles down my cheek. “No more jealousy, Angel. There’s no need for it.”
“Are you going to keep teaching her?”
“Would you rather I didn’t?”
“If I said that I’d rather you didn’t, would you fire her?”
He chuckles, but he’s safe now because I don’t have the energy to throat punch him.
“I would pass her on to someone else, yes.”
I stare up at him and think about everything that’s happened. Not just today, but over the past few weeks, and I know without a doubt that Ben doesn’t care about her.
“Just ask her to not touch you,” I reply. “Unless she tries to punch you, I’d really rather she keeps her hands to herself.”
He smiles and kisses my cheek. “I’ll pass her on to Ethan.”
“I trust you.”
“That was never in question,” he replies, perfectly calm again. “But she makes you uncomfortable, and there’s no need for that.”
“Thank you.”
“All you have to do is say something when you’re uncomfortable. I’ll make sure to fix it. And not just when it comes to my job.”
“Okay.” I nod. “I’ll remember that.”
“See that you do.”
Chapter Fifteen
~Savannah~
“Does it seem like this is happening fast?” I ask Violet during our counseling session the next morning. “I mean, we haven’t talked about moving in together, at least not formally, but I’m starting to think about it, and it doesn’t scare me.”
“Savannah, you’ve known Ben most of your life. You didn’t have to go through the initial getting to know each other stages. You’ve done that already. So, to admit that you love each other and want to move forward in your relationship is a logical next step.”
“Right.” I nod and rub my hands on my pants nervously. “But it makes me nervous.”
“I can see that. Why do you think that is?”
“Because I worked hard to be independent,” I reply, not even realizing that I felt that way until this moment. “And I’m afraid that if we live together, I might lose a piece of myself again.”
“Well, that’s logical too,” Violet replies and nods thoughtfully. “I can see where you’re coming from. But, something you’re going to have to keep reminding yourself is that Ben is not Lance. They’re completely different men, and the relationship that you share is different too.”
“Boy, that’s the understatement of the year,” I reply. “Which brings me to something else to talk about.”
“Okay, shoot.”
I shift in my seat, gathering my thoughts. “My marriage was horrible.”
“And now you hold the record for understatement of the year,” Violet replies.
“I know.” I grab my bottle of water and take a long sip. “It was the worst time of my life, and I truly believe that no matter what the future holds, it will never be as bad as it was while I was married to him.”
Violet just nods, urging me to continue. I begin to peel the label off of the water bottle and focus on that while I continue to talk.
“While I lived it, I knew it wasn’t right. That not every marriage was that horrible. But at the same time, I couldn’t let myself analyze it. Because if I did, I really think that I would have had a nervous breakdown.” I glance up to see her reaction, but she just arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue. “But now that I’ve been with Ben for a while, and I am in a healthy, loving relationship, I can finally see just how horrible it was before.”
My eyes find hers again and I can’t help the tears that come. “It was worse than anyone should have to go through. He didn’t treat me like a human being, not to mention his partner in life. He treated me like I was a possession.”
I bite my lip for a moment, wipe my eyes, and keep talking, unable to keep the words at bay.
“He’s a horrible man, V.”
“Yes. He is.”
“And now I have something so beautiful with Ben, and I can’t help but feel sorry for the woman I was before, because she was missing out on so much joy.”
“Oh, Savannah.”
My gaze whips up to hers and I’m mortified to see Violet crying. “You’ve never cried in my office before.”
“I know.”
“And even though you knew in your heart long ago
that Lance was a horrible husband, you couldn’t admit it aloud. Even to me.”
I nod and wipe more tears from my cheeks.
“I’m so happy for you, Van. What you’ve found with Ben, and the healing that’s happened in you because of that relationship is remarkable.”
“Thank you.” I sniff, relieved that the crying jag seems to have subsided. “Do you think I’m completely over it?”
“Well, that’s a question only you can answer.” Violet wipes her own eyes. “You’ve absolutely come a very long way, and you’re much stronger now than you were when you walked in here two years ago.”
“I am.” I nod. “And I know that there will always be scars, and there may be moments that something triggers a knee jerk reaction. I can’t help it when that happens.”
“It should happen less and less as time passes.”
I nod again. “I can see that. I’d like to keep coming to see you for a while.”
“I don’t think we’re done quite yet,” she agrees. “But, we could probably schedule appointments twice a month rather than once a week.”
“Awesome.” I stand and Violet pulls me in for a hug. “Thank you.”
“It’s been my absolute pleasure,” she replies. “Are you off to work now?”
“I’m going to swing by my place to grab some things and then I’m headed to the office.”
“Well, have a great day.”
As I leave Violet’s office and head toward my house, it feels like a weight has been lifted. A weight that I’ve carried around with me for a long, long time. It’s amazing.
I pull into my driveway, surprised to see Ben’s loaner car there.
“Ben?” I call out as I walk into the house.
“In the kitchen,” he calls back. He’s on the phone and he doesn’t look happy in the least. “There are only three of us who take that home each night,” he says. He’s rummaging through drawers, shuffling papers, and then hurries out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the bedroom. I sit in a stool at the island, waiting for him to come back.
“What’s going on?” I ask as he walks into the kitchen.
“Ethan says the flash drive that we keep all of our financials on is missing.” He pushes his fingers through his hair and exhales loudly. “Depending on who closes that night, it would be him, Shelly, or me that takes it home at the end of the night.”