“Please, it’s too hot.”
She complies, turning it to the coldest setting, and I can finally feel my stomach and organs begin to relax. I think the worst of the throwing up is finally over.
“Worst hour of my life,” I mutter.
“It’s only been thirty minutes,” she informs me. “If you’re not feeling any better, I’m calling an ambulance.”
“I am,” I say and reach blindly to hold her hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’re an angel.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
I glance over at her and frown. She’s sopping wet in her sexy new dress. Her feet are bare.
“I ruined your dress.”
“It’s just a dress,” she says soothingly.
“How are the shoes?”
“They’re fine. I took them off when you made me pull over.”
“Good. I like them.”
She kisses my bicep. “I’m not leaving you tonight.”
“Good. I don’t want you to. You’re safe from my sexual advances tonight.”
She smirks. “I don’t think I’m ever in danger with you.”
“I’m too weak to argue.”
“You stand here. I’m going to go pull your covers back and get you something cold to drink. Oh, and fresh clothes.”
“I’ll sleep naked,” I reply. “I’m so fucking hot.”
“The water is ice cold.”
“Must be one hell of a temperature.”
“I need a thermometer,” she mutters.
“I have one in the medicine cabinet.”
“Great. Wait here for me, and I’ll help you to bed.”
She leaves, and about ten seconds later, I turn off the water and dry off, peeling out of my wet underwear.
I’m not going to make her help me to the bed. I’m not a fucking invalid.
I grab a fresh pair of underwear, deciding not to give her the shock of her life tonight, and climb under the covers.
“So, you’re not great at taking direction,” she says as she comes into the room.
“Nope.”
“So noted,” she says and sticks the thermometer in my ear. “Jesus, Ben.”
That’s what I want her to say when I’m inside her.
“You have a fever.”
“That I knew, sugar.”
She grins down at me, and I swear to God, she’s a fucking angel. An angel that I don’t deserve, but I’m so damn grateful for.
“But it’s not going to kill you.”
“Feels like it.”
“I know.” She kisses my forehead and then places a cold towel over it and I want to just ask her to marry me. “Go to sleep, Ben. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I want you to be here every time I wake up.
Chapter Seven
~Savannah~
Did I do the right thing?
He’s restless in his sleep, and he won’t stop sweating. I Googled his symptoms, and that about gave me the anxiety attack of the century.
Basically, he could have the flu or he could be dying from organ failure.
Or about a million other things.
The most logical is the flu.
My phone vibrates next to me, making me jump a foot in the air.
“Hi, Eli.”
“How’s Ben?”
“I think he’s doing better,” I reply, my eyes never leaving the man in question. “He’s not throwing up anymore. But he’s sweaty and he looks super uncomfortable while he’s sleeping.”
“You’re staying with him?” I can hear the unspoken question in his voice.
“Yes, and no, I’m not in the bed with him, but if I was, that would be our business.”
“Geez, I didn’t even say anything.”
“You’re my brother; you were thinking it.”
“Honestly, Van, I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was thinking, it’s about damn time my sister starts to do what makes her happy. You looked happy tonight. Truly happy for the first time since you were a kid.”
I bite my lip, relieved that he can’t see the tears fill my eyes.
“I’m happy.”
“And Ben looks like he’s the happiest man in the world. He actually smiled tonight, and that man never smiles. That’s all any of us ever wanted for you, Van. For both of you. And, we know and trust Ben.”
“I know you do.”
“So none of us will flip you any shit for this. It’s been a long time coming.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Now, does the pinhead need a hospital?”
I grin at the term of endearment, which is exactly what that was in guy-speak.
“I don’t think so. He’s settling down. But if he gets worse again, I’ll call an ambulance and let you know.”
“You do that.” He sighs and I can hear the baby cooing in the background. “Be happy, Sis.”
“You too.”
I hang up and let the tears come. These aren’t sad or scared tears. They’re relieved and grateful tears.
My family is the best there is.
I wipe my face and walk over to Ben. It’s time to check his fever again, and I don’t want to wake him. I gently push the thermometer in his ear and click the button.
It’s coming down, thank God.
“Vanny,” he whispers and catches my hand in his. He hasn’t opened his eyes.
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“The cool rag on your neck?”
“No, you calling me sweetheart.”
I sit on the edge of the bed next to him and lean over to kiss his forehead. He’s not sweating anymore.
“Are you still shivering?”
“No. Better.”
“Good,” I whisper. “You scared me there for a minute.”
“Scared me too.”
I push his hair back with my fingers. The light brown strands aren’t overly long, but they are soft, and they feel good against my skin, so I keep brushing it back.
Honestly, it just feels amazing to be able to touch him whenever I want to.
“Van?” he says.
“Yes, sweetheart.”
His lips turn up at the sides, and I make a note to call him sweetheart regularly.
“I don’t want to get you sick, but I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I won’t get sick,” I promise him and kiss his rough cheek. “Don’t you know? If you’re tending to the sick, you don’t get sick yourself.”
“That’s bullshit.”
I grin. “Well, yeah, but that’s what I’m telling myself.”
“Will you please sleep next to me?”
I nod, but realize he can’t see me.
“Of course.”
I walk around to the other side of the bed. I’m wearing a T-shirt and boxer shorts of Ben’s that I found to change out of my sopping dress. I climb in next to him and spoon up behind him, kissing his shoulder. I’m not going to crowd him all night, but it feels amazing to snuggle up next to him.
“Goodnight, Ben.”
“Goodnight, love.”
Oh boy.
Could this be happening too fast? I’m sure that some would say yes, but frankly, I feel like it’s always been here, and I had blinders on.
Or, I was married to someone else for a long time, and then too broken to even want to feel anything for a man again.
But the wounds are healed, and Ben had a lot to do with that recovery.
I’ve known him most of my life.
So, no, I don’t think I’m rushing things to admit to myself that I’m in love with him. Am I ready to say that to him yet? No. I’m not.
But I’m never going to lie to myself again.
I love Ben.
***
I hate this goddamn dream. This is why I don’t sleep well. Ever.
I’m walking along the shore of the river, letting tall grass brush over my hands. It’s sunny, but not too hot. It’s a nice day.
But sudde
nly, the sky is filled with dark clouds, moving ferociously and tossing lightning back and forth. I need to get away from the river, to somewhere safe. So I run away, just as it starts to rain.
I know what happens next, and my heart is beating so hard, I’m convinced it’s going to come right out of my chest.
Don’t go for that cabin. Horrible things are in there. Don’t do it.
But just like always, I run inside the cabin, trying to escape the storm.
I shut the door and look about, and there, next to a roaring fire, is Lance.
His face splits into a smile. An evil, spiteful smile.
“There you are. I didn’t give you permission to go out for a walk.”
“I didn’t go far,” I reply and immediately put my head down. Lance prefers for me not to look him in the eyes.
“It doesn’t matter how far you went; you didn’t ask for permission.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You know what to do.”
I clench my eyes closed and lift my shirt, turning my back to him. I hear the crack of the whip, but it doesn’t hit me.
“Where did you go?” he yells and I turn around, hope blooming in my chest. “Savannah?”
He can’t see me. I drop my shirt and move carefully, in case it changes, but it doesn’t. He can’t see me. He’s yelling for me, his eyes crazy the way they get right before he beats me extra bad.
So I turn and run out of the cabin and back into the storm. I don’t know where to go. He brought me here, and I don’t know how to get back home.
The wind is frantic, sending my long hair in a frenzy, covering my face. I can’t get it out of my eyes.
Oh, God, I can’t see!
“Savannah!”
He’s come outside, and he’s running after me. Why can he see me again? Why is the dream going like this?
“Stop it.”
It’s my daddy’s voice.
“Savannah, you stop this right now.”
I open my eyes and sit up and there he is, my daddy, sitting in the chair by the window.
“Daddy?”
“Hi, pumpkin.” I smile, despite the breath heaving in and out of me. Ben is still sound asleep.
“What’s happening?”
“You’re having that damn dream again, and I won’t have it.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “Savannah, the dream is your own doing.”
“It’s just a dream. I don’t have control over my dreams.”
“You are still letting him mess with you, and this is where it stops, baby girl.”
Humiliating tears fill my eyes. “You can see all of that? Do you know what he did?”
“Yes,” he replies. “I wish you’d come to me when I was still here to help you.”
“He threatened to kill all of you. To destroy the company.”
“He’s a smarmy little sonofabitch who couldn’t have done any of those things.”
“I know that now, but I was afraid that he was telling me the truth, and I couldn’t bear the thought of him hurting any of you.”
“So you bore the burden yourself. That’s not what we do in this family, Savannah.”
I nod and Dad holds his hand out to me. I rush out of the bed and climb into his lap the way I did when I was small and afraid.
“I miss you, Daddy.”
“I know,” he says. God, he smells the same. His arms feel the same. It’s like he’s really here, and it’s not just a dream. “I miss you too. And I’m so proud of you, baby girl. You’ve done an amazing job of healing and moving on.”
“Then why do I still have that horrible dream?”
“Because the past is always with us, even when we think we’ve moved on. There’s something, even if it’s in your subconscious, that’s still afraid of him.”
“I don’t know what it is.”
“You don’t have to. But you do need to sleep peacefully, daughter. You’ve sure earned it.”
I lean my head on his shoulder and take a deep breath, feeling sleepy again.
“I used to love to sleep on you, just like this.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Can I now?”
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
I smile and cup his cheek in my hand, the way I used to. And, like I did when I was young, I fall asleep in my daddy’s arms.
***
“Did you ever look into getting a caregiver for your mama?” I ask Ben three days later. We’re in his car, driving toward the bayou.
“Yes, and already found someone,” he says. He recovered quickly from the bug he had the other night. He says that he usually recovers quickly from illnesses, thanks to his lightning fast metabolism.
I wish I had a lightning fast metabolism.
“That was quick.”
“I mentioned it to Becky—”
“My assistant?”
“Yeah, I mentioned it to her about a week ago when I called for you and she asked how Mom was before patching me through to you. She knew someone at an agency, and put me in touch. I found a nice lady named Sally who’s about ten years younger than Mom, in great shape, and she comes during the day from breakfast until after dinner. She’s great, and Mom even likes her.”
“Your mom likes everyone.” I grin at his profile, enjoying the way the sunshine sets off the stubble on his face. He’s just so ridiculously handsome.
“Yeah, she does. I feel better knowing someone’s with her.”
“I’d like to meet Sally,” I say and stare out the window. “You know, check her out for myself. I love Miss Millie.”
“We’ll stop by there tomorrow,” he says and takes my hand, lifting it to his mouth to give it a kiss.
My stomach flips over every time he does that, and it happens quite often, much to my delight.
“So why are we going out to the inn?”
“I promised Rhys I’d help him with some things.”
I frown at him. “Rhys usually hires out a lot of the manual stuff. Not because he can’t do it, but he’d rather make sure someone licensed does everything in case they ever have to file a claim with the insurance company.”
“I don’t know,” he says with a shrug. “He just asked me to come help, and I said yes.”
“Interesting. Okay, well I haven’t seen the kids in a while. I’ll give them a snuggle. Sam’s getting to that age where he avoids it, but I usually guilt him into giving me a hug.”
“The kids love you,” Ben says with a grin. “All of the kids do. You’re good with them.”
“Well, yeah, because I’m the cool aunt.” I grin and look down as my phone pings with a text from Gabby.
The kids have the flu. Probably the same one Ben had. They’re quarantined upstairs. Sorry!
“Well, shit.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Gabby just texted. The kids have the flu and are not allowed in the common areas. She can’t risk spreading the illness to guests.” I blow out a gusty breath. “No snuggles for Aunt Van.”
“I’ll snuggle you,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows.
“I’ve learned a lot about you over the past week,” I inform him just as we pull into the driveway of the inn.
“Yeah? What have you learned?”
“I’ll tell you later.” I move to open my door, but he stops me.
“I’ll open your door, Angel.”
He’s called me that since the night he was sick. I don’t know why he uses that specific endearment, but I admit I like it. It’s better than baby or honey.
I’m grinning when he opens my door.
“What?” he says and helps me to my feet, pulling me into his arms for a quick kiss.
“Why do you call me Angel?”
“I’ll tell you later,” he says, echoing my own words. He shuts the car door, and slaps my ass, lightly, but enough to turn me on and look at him in surprise.
“Well, hello.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“That’s good, handsome.”<
br />
“Hey!” Gabby calls from the front door of the inn. She waves and reaches inside for something, then walks out with a picnic basket almost as big as she is.
“Are you going somewhere?” I ask as I climb the steps. She pulls me in for a quick hug.
“Nope. We are,” Ben says, relieving her of the basket. His arm flexes as he lifts it, and I immediately want to lick him there.
My hormones are out of control with him. Yet, I’m conflicted. I want to strip him naked, and I’m nervous, all at the same time.
I would guess that’s normal.
I hope.
“I thought you were helping Rhys.”
“Sugar,” Gabby says, patting my shoulder, “Rhys doesn’t need any help. Your man has a surprise for you. Smile and nod.”
I do as she says and stare up at Ben. “Okay.”
“Okay.” He kisses Gabby’s cheek just the way he always does when he sees my sisters. “Thanks, Gab. We’ll see you in a while.”
“No rush. Have fun!”
And with that, she walks away, her hips swaying in the way they do when she’s proud of herself, and she disappears inside.
“Okay, where—”
He presses his finger to my lips, sending electricity down my spine.
“No more questions. Just take my hand and walk with me.”
Without a word, I link my hand with his, and he leads me down the steps and onto the path that winds around the big house and back toward the rose gardens and the old slave quarters that Gabby renovated so they were safe, and on display for her guests.
“It’s a pretty day.” I take a deep breath, loving the smell of new flowers. “Spring is my favorite time of year.”
“How many summers did we spend out here?” Ben asks as he leads me off of the path and toward my favorite oak tree.
I wonder if he knows it’s my favorite tree, or if it’s coincidence?
“Well, I spent all of my summers here,” I reply with a grin. “And for as long as I can remember, you were here too.”
“At first, my mama would bring me out on the weekends to play with the boys, but finally your mama talked her into letting me just come out here to live with you guys for the summer.”
“But your mama still came on the weekends.”
“Well, she missed all of us. I don’t know why she didn’t just come as well. I know she was invited.”
“Maybe she had hot, torrid affairs while you were off playing the summer away in the bayou.” I glance up to find him frowning down at me. “What?”