I am more naturally inclined toward work, accomplishment, and responsibility; therefore I have had to learn how to discipline myself to rest, celebrate, and take time to reward myself for progress. It was not an easy lesson for me to learn, because the other traits were deeply ingrained in me and had become who I was. I was not a human being, but instead I had become a human doing. I also know people who have struggled just as much as I did trying to overcome the tendency to play too much. They were undisciplined people who found work and responsibility hard to deal with. They were experts at procrastination and avoidance, but they have asked for God’s help and used principles of discipline to overcome excess in their area just as I did in mine. The bottom line is that we all have to discipline ourselves; otherwise our lives will be out of balance.
I have found that I rarely make a decision to fix something without eventually needing to make more adjustments. I will probably always have to stand fast in this liberty of not working all the time and taking time to celebrate. I think some people will always have to discipline themselves to not play too much and do the work that needs to be done. I am always making adjustments and I find that most well-balanced people do the same thing. It is simply too easy in our society to get out of balance. We live in a driven society where pushing ourselves is applauded, yet we also live in a society that is addicted to entertainment, so we should always exercise ourselves to find the right balance between the two opposite extremes.
We should always exercise ourselves to find the right balance between the two opposite extremes.
I regularly notice that I have gotten out of balance in some area of my life and have to make an adjustment. I work hard to maintain good eating habits, but several times a year I start eating too much of something (usually cookies) and have to have a meeting with myself and set new goals again! There was a time when I felt like a failure when that happened, but I have learned that I can fail forward. I can simply realize I am out of balance and start doing the right thing again. It would be better if I never got off track, but I am a human and won’t manifest perfect control in every area every day of my life. God has given us a spirit of discipline and self-control so we can get back on track when we notice that we have veered off. He also gives us His Holy Spirit to make us aware of those times and help us make the adjustments needed. You are living a self-defeating life if you feel guilty each time you realize you need to change something. As I said earlier in the book, we can and should celebrate being convicted by the Holy Spirit about areas in our life that need to change. We can celebrate that we have the ability to stay in balance by making regular adjustments to our lifestyle.
We can take a negative view and moan over the fact that we need to change, or we can celebrate the fact that we can change with God’s help. That is good news! I love good news—it is like water to a thirsty soul (see Prov. 25:25). We will be changing all of our lives. If we don’t need to change anymore that means we are dead. Life is about progress and progress is about change, so if you don’t like change you will have to get over it.
Facing Truth
Truth is something we need to celebrate because we cannot change anything until we face truth about where we are. And that is usually the hardest part. Neither can we change until we stop feeling guilty about where we are right now. The process of conviction, facing truth, and disciplining ourselves to change goes something like this:
I am eating too much but I don’t want to face it, so I keep making excuses. I say things like: “I don’t eat as much as most people that I know,” or “The older I get the slower my metabolism works,” or “The dry cleaner must have shrunk my pants.” This year when I got out my summer pants I noticed they were all tighter. Since I had needed to have some of them taken in the year before last, I was sure that the seamstress took them in too much and I just didn’t notice it last year. My point is that our excuses are endless. They are actually reasons stuffed with lies. The next phase for me is to face the truth that I am eating too much. If you come to this point you might even want to say it out loud or confess it to a friend: “I have been eating too much and that is why I have gained weight.” The truth will set you free.
For me I find that writing down everything I eat for two weeks helps me get back on track. First of all I tend not to overeat if I have to write it down and look at my list, and secondly I start realizing how excessive I have become when I begin to say no to things so that I don’t have to write them down.
Once I have faced the truth and fully realized what I did that caused my problem, it is not that difficult to fix it. I am usually a little hungry for about three days, but I can even avoid that by nibbling on carrots and celery. Before long I am back to my perfect weight, I feel good about the way my clothes fit, and I feel good because I am disciplining myself. Then I can have my days of celebration (cookie days) without a gnawing feeling that I am doing the wrong thing. I have just gone through one of my adjustment times while writing this book and I am celebrating the fact that I can see the truth, receive conviction, and with God’s help make the changes I need to make. Jesus came to bring good news and part of that good news is that we can find a way to celebrate everything if we will look for it.
Refuse to Live in Mourning
Part of disciplining ourselves to celebrate life is refusing to live in mourning. There is a time to mourn, but we dare not let it become a way of life. The Bible says that weeping (mourning) endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning (see Ps. 30:5). There are things that happen in life that rightfully need to be mourned over, but joy always returns to balance things out. We must let the joy back into our lives after times of sadness and not feel guilty about enjoying life after disappointment or even tragedy has struck. There is a time to mourn and a time to rejoice, but we must not live in the state of mourning.
Part of life is dealing properly with sadness and disappointment. We cannot avoid them—and we should not deny the emotions that go with loss of any kind—but we can recover! I was saddened when I learned that a trusted employee had been stealing from us, but I rejoiced that God brought the wrong-doing into the light and it was discovered. I have a time of mourning when people I love die, but I can also rejoice that they knew Jesus and are spending eternity with Him. I am sad when I realize that I have let an area of my life get out of balance through lack of discipline, but I can rejoice that I now see the truth and am back on track. For all mourning there is an offsetting reason to celebrate, and although mourning is proper and is even part of our healing, it cannot last forever. We cannot live in a state of mourning over things that have happened that we cannot change. In Christ there is always a place of new beginnings and that is good news worth celebrating.
In Christ there is always a place of new beginnings and that is good news worth celebrating.
We prolong our tragedies by continuing to mourn over them long after they are over. We can easily make the mistake of regretting what we have lost instead of counting what we have left and moving forward. I lost my childhood and my innocence through abuse, and it was tragic indeed. Even though I got away from the abusive situation at the age of eighteen, I continued to mourn and live in regret and bitterness for approximately another thirty years. It was only after I had been taught by the Holy Spirit the principles I am sharing with you in this book that I understood the importance of refusing to mourn any longer. It was a decision I had to make based on God’s promise of a new life made available to me in Jesus.
We see this principle brought out beautifully in the book of Esther. The Jewish people were being oppressed and threatened with extinction, but God delivered them. As soon as the deliverance was secured, they were instructed to mourn no more, but to declare a holiday during which they would rest, feast, be glad, and send gifts to the poor. They were also instructed to keep this holiday every year so they would remember the time when they got rest from their enemies, and as the month that their sorrow was turned to gladness, and from mourning (Esther 9:18–22).<
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They had not only been physically delivered, but they chose not to continue thinking and talking about the past tragedy. I had to do the same thing in order to truly be free. I walked away from abuse at the age of eighteen, but continued it in my soul for another thirty years. My soul needed a vacation but I did not even know one was available. Thank God for revelation and the truth that sets us free. Once we know it, we can discipline ourselves to act accordingly and enjoy the benefits of knowing and serving God. God says to rejoice and celebrate and we must discipline ourselves to do it.
I pray that as I share these things with you that they will help you avoid wasting years of your life in mourning as I did. Hopefully you can benefit from them at a younger age than I did, but whatever your age is, rejoice that you see the light now and can start celebrating today. Even if you don’t “feel” like celebrating, you can discipline yourself to do it and your feelings will eventually catch up with your decision.
I Can’t Celebrate… I Still Have My Problem!
Perhaps you still have your problem and have not yet been delivered as Esther and her people were. You may be thinking that you can’t celebrate because there is nothing to celebrate yet, but you can begin by faith because you have your hope in God.
The Psalmist David gives us a good example of this in the Psalms. He talked to his own soul and asked it why it was mourning because of his enemies and why it was cast down? He then instructed his own soul to put its hope in God and wait expectantly in God Who was the help of his countenance (see Ps. 42:9–11). Our countenance is the look we have on our face, so David was actually saying that God could help him smile even in the midst of his unpleasant circumstances. I have found that talking to myself (my soul) is often very helpful. We dare not let our emotions control our actions. If we do then we are letting the devil and our flesh control us rather than the Holy Spirit. David realized that he was sad, depressed, and downcast, so he told himself (his soul) to smile and be hopeful in God.
If you know the power of hope and faith you don’t have to wait for your circumstances to change to start celebrating. Even as I write this book, we are waiting for a pathology report on a member of our family that could mean serious trouble if it doesn’t come back negative. We trust God and keep rejoicing in Him because it makes no sense to do anything else. All of our lives are filled with ups and downs, but we don’t have to go up and down with them. We can remain stable in God! God is smiling over us and we can smile back at Him! Since God sits in the heavens and laughs at His enemies surely we can smile (see Ps. 2:4, 37:13).
If you know the power of hope and faith you don’t have to wait for your circumstances to change to start celebrating.
Good News!
Richard J. Foster reminds us in his book that celebration is at the center of God’s heart. Jesus entered the world on a note of celebration: “I bring you good news of a great joy,” cried the angel (Luke 2:10). Jesus also left the world bequeathing his peace and joy to the disciples. “Peace I leave with you: My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you” (John 14:27). “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).
Jesus began His public ministry by proclaiming the year of Jubilee. He wanted people to realize that a perpetual jubilee (celebration) of spirit was now available. Captives were released, debts were canceled, the blind received their sight, the oppressed were liberated, and the poor received good news (see Luke 4:18–19). Jesus wanted the people to know that they no longer had to worry and be anxious. They could trust Him to take care of them and this formed the basis for celebration. The burden of fixing everything that was not right in life was no longer theirs. They could live without fear! They could cast their care on Him and live in celebration.
“Celebration is central to all the Spiritual Disciplines. Without a joyful spirit of festivity the Disciplines become dull, death breathing tools in the hands of modern Pharisees. Every disciple should be characterized by carefree gaiety and a sense of thanksgiving,” says Richard Foster. 1 It is vital that we discipline ourselves to celebrate; otherwise, we won’t be able to maintain any of the other disciplines that are necessary to successful living.
The media today fills the world with bad news. They report every tragedy, murder, and theft. They run and rerun reports of politicians and other leaders who are dishonest and immoral. There is nothing uplifting about the evening news on television or in the newspapers, but I have a book on my lap right now that is filled with good news! It is the Bible and it is the book I base my life on. Jesus came to bring good news! He preached good news! The world we live in and our lives are not hopeless because Jesus is alive! He is the light in darkness and hope to the hopeless.
There are good things taking place all over the world, but the media rarely report them. For example, we just got the pathology report back on our family member and it was all negative. The news was good! We should all tell and retell every good report we hear. We should war against the prevailing spirit in the world of sadness, depression, and fear with a genuine spirit of celebrating what God has done for us and what He is doing every day of our lives. I have decided to swim upstream against the negative current in our society. Let’s stay on the narrow path that leads to life together, and avoid the broad path that leads to destruction.
Let us join with the Apostle Paul in his declaration to celebrate life no matter what was going on around him: “But none of these things move me; neither do I esteem my life dear to myself, if only I may finish my course with joy and the ministry which I have obtained from [which was entrusted to me by] the Lord Jesus, faithfully to attest to the good news (Gospel) of God’s grace (His unmerited favor, spiritual blessing, and mercy)” (Acts 20:24, emphasis mine).
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Sometimes by the time we get to the end of a book we have taken in so much information that we may have forgotten the main points that the author was hoping to make. I don’t want that to happen with this book, so I would like to remind you of a few things:
Eat the cookie… buy the shoes! The cookie is only a symbol of a principle that I am sharing. Do something that you like and enjoy, and don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t let the workaholic and out-of-balance people in your life make you feel guilty, either.
If you don’t know what you enjoy because you haven’t taken time to enjoy much of anything in your life, then start experimenting and find out. You may even have to develop interests, but whatever you need to do, do it and refuse to live without celebration.
Reward yourself for progress and stop punishing yourself for everything you view as a mistake or a failure. Remember that you never really fail if you keep pressing forward and God is ready to forgive your faults, mistakes, and sins if you will simply ask Him to.
Learn to lighten up! Don’t be so intense about life’s problems and challenges. It is doubtful that they will ever all go away, so we need to learn to co-exist with them joyfully.
Celebrate discipline because it is your friend and not your enemy.
Discipline yourself to celebrate, because God loves a party!
Celebrate you because you are worth it!
Celebrate Jesus because He is the absolute greatest and most awesome gift that we have.
Well, the book is finished and I am going to celebrate! Friends are coming to visit and I told them to bring my cookie! If you are wondering about this cookie, it is something called a “double-doozie,” and it is two chocolate chip cookies with icing in the middle (you should try one). I do discipline myself to eat only half of one because the last time I ate the whole thing it nauseated me. To finish writing an entire book deserves more than half of a cookie, so I am going out to dinner with some of my family and I am going to laugh as much as possible. After dinner I am going to watch a good movie. Yesterday I celebrated almost being done with the book by taking my two wonderful daughters-in-law shopping. I am determined to find something to celebrate every day of my life and I invite you to join m
e in my quest.
NOTES
11. Give Your Soul a Vacation
1. Vine, W. E., Vine’s Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words: A Comprehensive Dictionary of the Original Words with Their Precise Meanings for English Readers (MacDonald Publishing, 1989).
2. Nee, Watchman, Balanced Christian Life (Christian Fellowship Publishers, New York, 1981).
12. Priorities
1. Tozer, A. W., The Pursuit of God (Christian Publications, New York, 1948), 101–102.
15. Celebrate Discipline
1. Foster, Richard J., Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth (Harper San Francisco, San Francisco, 1983), 1.
2. Ibid., 9.
3. Maxwell, John C., Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success (Thomas Nelson, Nashville, 2000).
16. Discipline Yourself to Celebrate