“This is beautiful,” Lauren said.
“Most women say that.”
“Oh? And what do the men say?”
“Not much. We don’t let them stay in this room. This is Jessica’s garden room. The great northwest room is directly above you.”
Lauren smiled. “Let me guess: Forest green, solid oak bookshelves, four-poster bed, a larger-than-life television, and an ice box.”
“You’ve seen it?” Kyle teased.
“Guess I don’t need to. Are Teri and Gordon staying in the manly room?”
“No, we have another room upstairs all ready for them. Sort of a middle-of-the-road version. Feel free to take a look if you want. You’re the first one here. The other guests should be arriving tonight. Actually,” Kyle hesitated and looked over his shoulder. Lowering his voice, he asked, “Did Teri say anything to you about Kenton?”
Lauren shook her head.
Kyle shuffled his large frame and said, “Jess thought I should warn you.”
“What? Is Kenton the psycho uncle who lives in the attic?”
Kyle laughed. “Almost. He’s my brother. He’s coming this weekend, and Teri thought we should, you know, sort of fix you two up. But Jessica is too tenderhearted to let anyone get trapped into something like that.”
“And what’s wrong with your brother?”
“There’s nothing wrong with him. Well, not really. He and I are different, that’s all. He’s the studious brain boy who spends more time with computers than with people.”
“Sounds like my brother,” Lauren said. “Don’t worry. I know how to handle that particular species. By any chance does he shower more than once a month?”
“He’s not that bad,” Kyle said with a laugh.
“Thanks for the warning,” Lauren said, feeling a little disappointed. If Kyle had a clone somewhere in this world, Lauren wouldn’t have minded falling in love with him. It would solve the KC problem and provide affirmation for Mindy’s theory that if God had someone wonderful for Lauren, they would come together through natural, unforced events.
But then, what did Lauren know about God and his wonderful plan for her life? At the moment, he didn’t seem to be speaking to her. And she wasn’t interested in falling in love with anyone. Probably because she already had. And, try as she might, she couldn’t turn this love off like a faucet.
Chapter Twenty Three
After Kyle brought in her suitcase, Lauren began to hang up her clothes. She heard a gentle tap on the door. “Come in.”
Jessica entered, bringing a peacefulness with her. “I wanted to see if I could bring you anything.”
“No, I’m fine. This is a beautiful room. Do you guys run a bed and breakfast here?”
“No,” Jessica said with a smile. “Although sometimes it feels like it. Ida thinks we should but …” She trailed off. “I want it to be home for us and that’s all.”
“Does Ida live here?” Lauren wasn’t sure if she was being too nosy. But Jessica had an openness that overpowered Lauren’s shyness.
“No, she’s just a dear woman who loves being involved in our lives. Her husband passed away last spring. She misses him terribly. She’s kind of adopted us since her son and his wife moved away almost a year ago. We’re her family now.”
Lauren was still curious to know where the money came from to keep up this house. She didn’t think paramedics or teachers made that much, especially in a small town.
“Speaking of family,” Jessica said, lowering herself onto the edge of Lauren’s bed and looking as if she were about to reveal a big secret, “I wanted to tell you that Kyle’s brother is coming and—”
Lauren held up a hand to stop Jessica. “Your adorable husband already warned me. Don’t worry. The last thing in the world I’m interested in is starting a relationship with anyone.”
Jessica nodded. When Lauren didn’t offer any more information, Jessica said, “That’s exactly how I felt when I came to Glenbrooke. I pushed Kyle away so many times. I can’t believe he didn’t give up on me.”
Lauren leaned against the high-backed chair by the fire. She didn’t feel free to offer any of the details of her life as Jessica had.
Jessica continued, “A lot of issues in me needed to be settled before I was ready for any kind of relationship. I had unresolved hurts over my mother and, well …, a lot of other things.” She paused.
Lauren ventured a stab at this open-hearted communication. “Your mother didn’t happen to leave you, did she?”
“Yes. When I was eight.”
“My dad left before I was three.” The words slipped out of Lauren’s mouth. “My mom remarried right away.”
“My dad never did. He had lots of girlfriends, I’m sure, but he never quite got over my mom’s death.”
“She died? That’s different from being abandoned.” Lauren didn’t feel they were talking about the same thing after all. “People can choose to leave. They don’t choose when they’re going to die. There’s a huge difference.”
“Not when you’re eight,” Jessica said. “All I know is that I held in my feelings for too many years. I blamed God, and I wasn’t able to move forward until I surrendered my life to him. My past, present, and future. I can’t believe how much changed for me when I finally started to trust God. I mean, really trust him.”
Lauren noticed that Jessica’s cheeks were beginning to blush. She looked down at her sandals and said, “I can’t believe I’m telling you all this.”
“That’s okay,” Lauren said. “I think I need to hear it.”
There was a pause. Lauren felt compelled, for some reason, to pour out her heart to this woman. Within twenty minutes, without planning any of it, Lauren had spilled the saga of Jeff and KC, and leaving KC at the falls. It was so unlike her. But something about Jessica and this house, this room, melted her defenses and made her feel peaceful and safe.
With a sigh, Lauren concluded, “Now I’m the one who can’t believe she’s telling you all this. I didn’t mean to dump on you.”
“I don’t mind a bit. In a lot of ways, I know what you feel.”
Again, a small pause surrounded them. The pause didn’t carry the weight of embarrassment with it. It was a reflective moment of shared, silent wonder, a moment filled with the richness of commonly held truth.
“Isn’t it peculiar,” Jessica said, “that the very thing you have been so hurt by is what you end up doing to someone else?”
“Excuse me?” Lauren felt her defenses go up.
“Your deepest hurts came from being abandoned and feeling the rejection of that. Now, without even thinking about it, you abandoned KC, and I would imagine he feels rejected.”
Lauren felt her defenses leave her body like a flock of frightened geese. She heard herself whisper, “You’re right.”
“I’m sure you weren’t thinking of that at the time. You were dealing with a life of hurt in that one moment. I would have done the same thing, if I were you.”
“I left him,” Lauren said, still dazed by the realization. “I’m a deserter.”
“You were a frightened woman acting on instinct. Do you want to hear what I did?” Jessica asked. “I ran away from home. Not as a rebellious teenager; I was twenty-five. I came here, to Glenbrooke, and tried to change my identity. All I wanted was to run so far away from my father that he would never find me.”
“What happened?”
Jessica smiled, and the scar on her top lip curled. “My heavenly Father found me, and he sent Kyle to rescue me.”
Just then a heavy knock sounded on the closed door.
“Come in.”
“What are you girls doing?” Kyle asked, poking his head in.
“Talking about boys,” Jessica teased. “Go away!”
“Sorry! I didn’t see the ‘No boys allowed’ sign.”
“I’m only kidding. You can come in,” Jessica said. “I heard the phone ring a while ago. Who was it?”
“My dear, misguided brother. He’s not co
ming after all.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Jessica said. “Did he give a reason?”
“Life. It stinks. That’s all he said.”
“So sorry I’m going to miss making his acquaintance,” Lauren mumbled sarcastically.
“I like her,” Kyle said to Jessica, tipping his head toward Lauren. “Let’s keep her around.”
Jessica turned to Lauren and with a straight face said, “Why don’t you move to Glenbrooke?”
“Wouldn’t I love to! This place is like the town time forgot. I’ve always wanted to live in a small town. By any chance do you know if your school is in need of another English teacher?”
Jessica looked surprised. “I thought Teri said you worked at a bank.”
“I do now. I just received my credential a month ago.”
Kyle and Jessica exchanged glances. “Really?” Kyle said. “How coincidental.” He reached over and gave his wife’s shoulder a squeeze. “It just so happens our one high school, which has one English teacher, might very well be looking for someone to fill that position this fall.”
“Really?”
Before Kyle could answer, a car horn blared. Out the window Lauren could see the two golden retrievers racing for the front of the house.
“They’re here!” Jessica said jumping up from the bed. “Come on, Lauren. Teri’s going to be so glad to see you.”
They reached the front porch at the same moment that Teri and Gordon did, accompanied by the two jumping dogs. Squeals of delight and loud hellos echoed off the porch ceiling. Hugs and kisses were delivered all around. Gordon was the loudest and most affectionate of them all—with the people and the dogs. The minute Lauren heard him speak, she knew he was Australian, not Austrian. She repressed a giggle, thinking of how dear Ida had expected a man in lederhosen to yodel for her. Although, the way this man was the instant life of the party, Lauren didn’t doubt that he could yodel with the best of them.
“Lauren,” Teri cried, giving her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I almost didn’t recognize you! Look at your hair. You look wonderful!”
Teri was the one who looked wonderful. The glow of a new bride made her flawless skin radiate, and her wide smile lit up her whole face. She still wore her long, wavy brown hair wild and free, cascading down her back. Today it was clipped up on top of her head. A few renegade tendrils played chase across her temples in the afternoon breeze.
“Let me help you with that,” Kyle said, reaching for Teri’s shoulder bag.
A wry smile crept up Gordon’s face as he said in his charming accent, “There’s a lot more where that came from, mate. We seem to have arrived with a car full of the stuff.”
Teri rolled her eyes and said confidentially to Lauren and Jessica, “His idea of traveling light is a pair of swim trunks and a toothpick.”
“I heard that, Mrs. Allistar.”
A look of glee spread across Teri’s face as she met Jessica’s gentle gaze and mouthed the words, “Mrs. Allistar!”
“Let me see your ring,” Jessica said.
Teri held out her smooth, tanned hand bearing a simple wide band of gold. “We match,” she said, reaching for Gordon’s hand and showing them his identical gold band.
Lauren remembered that Teri never wore jewelry. It had been one of Lauren and Teri’s biggest differences in college. Lauren was going through a “beads and bangles” phase and never left their room without wearing at least half a dozen pieces of jewelry. Teri, on the other hand, was a purist and would tease Lauren about the way she could hear Lauren coming down the dorm hallway.
“She tried to get me to wear mine through my nose, but I wouldn’t have it,” Gordon said.
Everyone laughed and began to unload the luggage. They formed a line, carrying the bags up the magnificent staircase.
“Guess what I brought you, Kyle?” Teri asked.
“Tamales?”
“No, but it’s almost as good. Six jars of my grandmother’s salsa.”
“Did you hear that, Jess? I’m in heaven.”
“Right,” said Gordon, having a look around the spacious mansion. “I believe this is my heavenly reward, but where are all the angels?”
“I’m right behind you,” Teri said, following him up to the last step.
Gordon reached the top of the staircase, put down his suitcase, and as Teri cleared the top step, he scooped her up in his arms and said, “Which way to the honeymoon suite for me and my angel?”
Teri started to laugh and playfully pound his back with her fists. “I keep telling you, Gordo, you only had to carry me over the threshold the first night.” As she said it, Gordon’s foot became tangled in the hallway runner, and the two of them went toppling to the floor. The other three ran to help them. The couple were laughing so hard they couldn’t speak.
Teri caught her breath first. “Every night of our honeymoon,” she said, as she wiped the sparkling tears from her eyes, “he’s tried carrying me to the room. So far we’ve only made it over the threshold once without a disaster.” She rubbed her shoulder. “Will one of you please tell him that’s enough so he’ll stop? He won’t listen to me.”
“What’s that you say, dear?” Gordon asked playfully.
“It’s a requirement for all men to go partially deaf the moment they say ‘I do,’ ” Kyle said, pulling back instinctively before Jessica could swat at him.
Teri hopped up, laughing, and offered Gordon a hand. “This one was half deaf when I married him.”
“Old surfing accident,” Gordon said, pointing to his right ear. “It was at the finals. Perhaps you saw it on the tellie. About nineteen years ago. The board caught the underside of a wave and curled up like this.” He used his hands to demonstrate. “Flipped out the side and came down on me, like—”
Teri joined him and in unison they said, “A hammer pounding a nail through a piece of paper.”
“Oh, oh,” Jessica said. “Sure sign of married life. You can already finish each other’s stories!”
Lauren had put down the bag she was carrying and slowly made her way down the stairs while the two couples became involved in their married-life banter. It had suddenly become too much for her. They were married. They were happy. She was miles and miles away from them and their lives. Jessica’s words kept pounding in her head, “You abandoned KC. I would imagine he feels rejected.”
Quietly slipping into her garden guest room, Lauren closed the door and retreated to the inviting window seat. Staring out at the vivid garden, Jessica’s words echoed again and again, “You abandoned KC. You abandoned KC.”
“I did, didn’t I?” she whispered into the silent air. Running her fingers along the edge of the window sill, she felt forlorn. The one thing she thought she would never do, she had done. And she had done it to the one person who held more of her heart than anyone ever had, or possibly ever would. Once she had written to KC:
I HOPE YOU FEEL IN ME THE SAME KIND OF SAFE PLACE I HAVE COME TO KNOW IN YOU. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO CONNECTED WITH ANYONE IN MY LIFE. I’M AFRAID THAT IF OUR RELATIONSHIP EVER CEASED, I WOULD GO BACK TO BEING HALF A PERSON, AND I DON’T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THAT AGAIN. YOU MAKE ME THINK. YOU GIVE MY DREAMS FERTILE SOIL IN WHICH TO TAKE ROOT AND GROW. MAY GOD PROTECT US BOTH FROM EARTHQUAKE, FIRE, OR FLOODING OF THE SOUL.
The disaster she had feared had come. And she had been the harbinger.
Chapter Twenty-Four
In the midst of Lauren’s brooding, Jessica knocked on the door and spoke softly, “We have some dinner ready if you’re hungry.”
“Okay, thanks. I’ll be there in a minute.” She was still sitting on the window seat, holding a fluffy pillow tight around her stomach. For the past hour Lauren had tried to cry but couldn’t, tried to sleep but couldn’t, tried to dream up an easy out but couldn’t. A lot of life-core issues were staring her in the face, and she couldn’t turn away. She could no longer “stuff it,” as Mindy had accused her of doing so many times.
She found her way into the kitchen, where Je
ssica was grabbing a bottle of salad dressing from the refrigerator. “We’re eating outside,” she said. “I didn’t know if I should disturb you. Were you getting in a little nap?”
“Not really. Just thinking.”
An expression of concern covered Jessica’s face. Her body language said, I know. I understand. All she verbalized was, “If you ever want someone to sit by you while you do your thinking, I invite you to call on me. I used to do my best thinking at the cemetery, all alone. But I know some people are better at thinking when they have a user-friendly shadow.”
“Thanks. I might take you up on your offer. Can I help with anything?”
“No, everything is out there: fresh veggies from our garden and a big salad, and Kyle has some chicken going on the barbecue.”
Lauren followed her out the back door on to a large wooden deck. Three round tables with big canvas umbrellas were positioned across the deck like a European sidewalk cafe. Kyle stood over a huge, built-in brick grill, a long pair of tongs in his hand. Gordon and Teri flanked his sides, offering cooking suggestions.
It was a beautiful August evening. Turquoise blue skies, swept clear by the summer breeze, faded into dusk and then to night. They sat around the table talking until the stars came out. Most of the conversation was about Teri and Gordon’s wedding until Teri asked why Lauren hadn’t been able to come at the last minute. She felt so at ease with these four that she told them her disaster of ending up in Fairbanks. They all laughed, even Lauren.
Thoughts of KC wouldn’t go away. When they finally started to clear the table and go inside, Lauren drew up the courage to ask Kyle if he had a computer.