The fur was both soft and rough, and warm against my skin. I ran my fingers through it curiously, learning the texture, stroking his neck where the color deepened. I hadn't realized how close I'd gotten; without warning, Jacob suddenly licked my face from chin to hairline.
"Ew! Gross, Jake!" I complained, jumping back and smacking at him, just as I would have if he were human. He dodged out of the way, and the coughing bark that came through his teeth was obviously laughter.
I wiped my face on the sleeve of my shirt, unable to keep from laughing with him.
It was at that point that I realized that everyone was watching us, the Cullens and the werewolves -- the Cullens with perplexed and somewhat disgusted expressions. It was hard to read the wolves' faces. I thought Sam looked unhappy.
And then there was Edward, on edge and clearly disappointed. I realized he'd been hoping for a different reaction from me. Like screaming and running away in terror.
Jacob made the laughing sound again.
The other wolves were backing away now, not taking their eyes off the Cullens as they departed. Jacob stood by my side, watching them go. Soon, they disappeared into the murky forest. Only two hesitated by the trees, watching Jacob, their postures radiating anxiety.
Edward sighed, and -- ignoring Jacob -- came to stand on my other side, taking my hand.
"Ready to go?" he asked me.
Before I could answer, he was staring over me at Jacob.
"I've not quite figured out all the details yet," he said, answering a question in Jacob's thoughts.
The Jacob-wolf grumbled sullenly.
"It's more complicated than that," Edward said. "Don't concern yourself; I'll make sure it's safe."
"What are you talking about?" I demanded.
"Just discussing strategy," Edward said.
Jacob's head swiveled back and forth, looking at our faces. Then, suddenly, he bolted for the forest. As he darted away, I noticed for the first time a square of folded black fabric secured to his back leg.
"Wait," I called, one hand stretching out automatically to reach after him. But he disappeared into the trees in seconds, the other two wolves following.
"Why did he leave?" I asked, hurt.
"He's coming back," Edward said. He sighed. "He wants to be able to talk for himself."
I watched the edge of the forest where Jacob had vanished, leaning into Edward's side again. I was on the point of collapse, but I was fighting it.
Jacob loped back into view, on two legs this time. His broad chest was bare, his hair tangled and shaggy. He wore only a pair of black sweat pants, his feet bare to the cold ground. He was alone now, but I suspected that his friends lingered in the trees, invisible.
It didn't take him long to cross the field, though he gave a wide berth to the Cullens, who stood talking quietly in a loose circle.
"Okay, bloodsucker," Jacob said when he was a few feet from us, evidently continuing the conversation I'd missed. "What's so complicated about it?"
"I have to consider every possibility," Edward said, unruffled. "What if someone gets by you?"
Jacob snorted at that idea. "Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We're making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."
I scowled. "Are you talking about me?"
"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight," Jacob explained.
"Do with me?"
"You can't stay in Forks, Bella." Edward's voice was pacifying. "They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?"
My stomach dropped and the blood drained from my face. "Charlie?" I gasped.
"He'll be with Billy," Jacob assured me quickly. "If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he'll do it. Probably it won't take that much. It's this Saturday, right? There's a game."
"This Saturday?" I asked, my head spinning. I was too lightheaded to control my wildly random thoughts. I frowned at Edward. "Well, crap! There goes your graduation present."
Edward laughed. "It's the thought that counts," he reminded me. "You can give the tickets to someone else."
Inspiration came swiftly. "Angela and Ben," I decided at once. "At least that will get them out of town."
He touched my cheek. "You can't evacuate everyone," he said in a gentle voice. "Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you -- we'll have no problem now. There won't be enough of them to keep us entertained."
"But what about keeping her in La Push?" Jacob interjected, impatient.
"She's been back and forth too much," Edward said. "She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he" -- Edward paused to look at me -- "or she is, this could all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently. She has to be hard to find, just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking chances."
I stared at Edward as he explained, my forehead creasing. He patted my arm.
"Just being overcautious," he promised.
Jacob gestured to the deep forest east of us, to the vast expanse of the Olympic Mountains.
"So hide her here," he suggested. "There's a million possibilities -- places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need."
Edward shook his head. "Her scent is too strong and, combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I carried her, it would leave a trail. Our trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella's scent, it would catch their attention. We're not sure exactly which path they'll take, because they don't know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us . . ."
Both of them grimaced at the same time, their eyebrows pulling together.
"You see the difficulties."
"There has to be a way to make it work," Jacob muttered. He glared toward the forest, pursing his lips.
I swayed on my feet. Edward put his arm around my waist, pulling me closer and supporting my weight.
"I need to get you home -- you're exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon. . . ."
"Wait a sec," Jacob said, wheeling back to us, his eyes bright. "My scent disgusts you, right?"
"Hmm, not bad." Edward was two steps ahead. "It's possible." He turned toward his family. "Jasper?" he called.
Jasper looked up curiously. He walked over with Alice a half step behind. Her face was frustrated again.
"Okay, Jacob." Edward nodded at him.
Jacob turned toward me with a strange mixture of emotion on his face. He was clearly excited by whatever this new plan of his was, but he was also still uneasy so close to his enemy allies. And then it was my turn to be wary as he held his arms out toward me.
Edward took a deep breath.
"We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," Jacob explained.
I stared at his open arms suspiciously.
"You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella," Edward told me. His voice was calm, but I could hear the subdued distaste.
I frowned.
Jacob rolled his eyes, impatient, and reached down to yank me up into his arms.
"Don't be such a baby," he muttered.
But his eyes flickered to Edward, just like mine did. Edward's face was composed and smooth. He spoke to Jasper.
"Bella's scent is so much more potent to me -- I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried."
Jacob turned away from them and paced swiftly into the woods. I didn't say anything as the dark closed around us. I was pouting, uncomfortable in Jacob's arms. It felt too intimate to me -- surely he didn't need to hold me quite so tightly -- and I couldn't help but wonder what it felt like to him. It reminded me of my last afternoon in La Push, and I didn't want to think about that. I folded my arms, annoyed when the brace on my hand intensified the memory.
/>
We didn't go far; he made a wide arc and came back into the clearing from a different direction, maybe half a football field away from our original departure point. Edward was there alone and Jacob headed toward him.
"You can put me down now."
"I don't want to take a chance of messing up the experiment." His walk slowed and his arms tightened.
"You are so annoying," I muttered.
"Thanks."
Out of nowhere, Jasper and Alice stood beside Edward. Jacob took one more step, and then set me down a half dozen feet from Edward. Without looking back at Jacob, I walked to Edward's side and took his hand.
"Well?" I asked.
"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't imagine someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent," Jasper said, grimacing. "It was almost completely obscured."
"A definite success," Alice agreed, wrinkling her nose.
"And it gave me an idea."
"Which will work," Alice added confidently.
"Clever," Edward agreed.
"How do you stand that?" Jacob muttered to me.
Edward ignored Jacob and looked at me while he explained. "We're -- well, you're -- going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they'll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch our scent, they'll split up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears. . . ."
"Yes!" Jacob hissed.
Edward smiled at him, a smile of true comradeship.
I felt sick. How could they be so eager for this? How could I stand having both of them in danger? I couldn't.
I wouldn't.
"Not a chance," Edward said suddenly, his voice disgusted. It made me jump, worrying that he'd somehow heard my resolve, but his eyes were on Jasper.
"I know, I know," Jasper said quickly. "I didn't even consider it, not really."
Alice stepped on his foot.
"If Bella was actually there in the clearing," Jasper explained to her, "it would drive them insane. They wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy. . . ."
Edward's glare had Jasper backtracking.
"Of course it's too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought," he said quickly. But he looked at me from the corner of his eyes, and the look was wistful.
"No," Edward said. His voice rang with finality.
"You're right," Jasper said. He took Alice's hand and started back to the others. "Best two out of three?" I heard him ask her as they went to practice again.
Jacob stared after him in disgust.
"Jasper looks at things from a military perspective," Edward quietly defended his brother. "He looks at all the options -- it's thoroughness, not callousness."
Jacob snorted.
He'd edged closer unconsciously, drawn by his absorption in the planning. He stood only three feet from Edward now, and, standing there between them, I could feel the physical tension in the air. It was like static, an uncomfortable charge.
Edward got back to business. "I'll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trail. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I'll take another route there."
"And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?" Jacob asked critically.
"You have a better idea?"
Jacob was suddenly smug. "Actually, I do."
"Oh. . . . Again, dog, not bad at all."
Jacob turned to me quickly, as if determined to play the good guy by keeping me in the conversation. "We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He's still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him -- cell phone."
I tried to look like I got it. No one was fooled.
"As long as Seth Clearwater is in his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," Edward said. "Distance isn't a problem?" he added, turning to Jacob.
"Nope."
"Three hundred miles?" Edward asked. "That's impressive."
Jacob was the good guy again. "That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment," he told me. "Still clear as a bell."
I nodded absently; I was reeling from the idea that little Seth Clearwater was already a werewolf, too, and that made it difficult to concentrate. I could see his bright smile, so much like a younger Jacob, in my head; he couldn't be more than fifteen, if he was that. His enthusiasm at the council meeting bonfire suddenly took on new meaning. . . .
"It's a good idea." Edward seemed reluctant to admit this. "I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"
"Fighting with vampires instead of against them!" Jacob mirrored Edward's tone of disgust.
"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," Edward said.
Jacob smiled. "That's the reason we're here."
19. SELFISH
EDWARD CARRIED ME HOME IN HIS ARMS, EXPECTING that I wouldn't be able to hang on. I must have fallen asleep on the way.
When I woke up, I was in my bed and the dull light coming through my windows slanted in from a strange angle. Almost like it was afternoon.
I yawned and stretched, my fingers searching for him and coming up empty.
"Edward?" I mumbled.
My seeking fingers encountered something cool and smooth. His hand.
"Are you really awake this time?" he murmured.
"Mmm," I sighed in assent. "Have there been a lot of false alarms?"
"You've been very restless -- talking all day."
"All day?" I blinked and looked at the windows again.
"You had a long night," he said reassuringly. "You'd earned a day in bed."
I sat up, and my head spun. The light was coming in my window from the west. "Wow."
"Hungry?" he guessed. "Do you want breakfast in bed?"
"I'll get it," I groaned, stretching again. "I need to get up and move around."
He held my hand on the way to the kitchen, eyeing me carefully, like I might fall over. Or maybe he thought I was sleepwalking.
I kept it simple, throwing a couple of Pop-Tarts in the toaster. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective chrome.
"Ugh, I'm a mess."
"It was a long night," he said again. "You should have stayed here and slept."
"Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of the family now."
He smiled. "I could probably get used to that idea."
I sat down with my breakfast, and he sat next to me. When I lifted the Pop-Tart to take the first bite, I noticed him staring at my hand. I looked down, and saw that I was still wearing the gift that Jacob had given me at the party.
"May I?" he asked, reaching for the tiny wooden wolf.
I swallowed noisily. "Um, sure."
He moved his hand under the charm bracelet and balanced the little figurine in his snowy palm. For a fleeting moment, I was afraid. Just the slightest twist of his fingers could crush it into splinters.
But of course Edward wouldn't do that. I was embarrassed I'd even had the thought. He only weighed the wolf in his palm for a moment, and then let it fall. It swung lightly from my wrist.
I tried to read the expression in his eyes. All I could see was thoughtfulness; he kept everything else hidden, if there was anything else.
"Jacob Black can give you presents."
It wasn't a question, or an accusation. Just a statement of fact. But I knew he was referring to my last birthday and the fit I'd thrown over gifts; I hadn't wanted any. Especially not from Edward. It wasn't entirely logical, and, of course, everyone had ignored me anyway. . . .
"You've given me pre
sents," I reminded him. "You know I like the homemade kind."
He pursed his lips for a second. "How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?"
"What do you mean?"
"This bracelet." His finger traced a circle around my wrist. "You'll be wearing this a lot?"
I shrugged.
"Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings," he suggested shrewdly.
"Sure, I guess so."
"Don't you think it's fair, then," he asked, looking down at my hand as he spoke. He turned it palm up, and ran his finger along the veins in my wrist. "If I have a little representation?"
"Representation?"
"A charm -- something to keep me on your mind."
"You're in every thought I have. I don't need reminders."
"If I gave you something, would you wear it?" he pressed.
"A hand-me-down?" I checked.
"Yes, something I've had for a while." He smiled his angel's smile.
If this was the only reaction to Jacob's gift, I would take it gladly. "Whatever makes you happy."
"Have you noticed the inequality?" he asked, and his voice turned accusing. "Because I certainly have."
"What inequality?"
His eyes narrowed. "Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"
"Easy." I shrugged. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me you. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."
He processed that for a moment, and then rolled his eyes. "The way you regard me is ludicrous."
I chewed my breakfast calmly. I knew he wouldn't listen if I told him that he had that backward.
Edward's phone buzzed.
He looked at the number before he opened it. "What is it, Alice?"
He listened, and I waited for his reaction, suddenly nervous. But whatever she said didn't surprise him. He sighed a few times.
"I sort of guessed as much," he told her, staring into my eyes, a disapproving arch to his brow. "She was talking in her sleep."
I flushed. What had I said now?
"I'll take care of it," he promised.
He glared at me as he shut his phone. "Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?"
I deliberated for a moment. Given Alice's warning last night, I could guess why she'd called. And then remembering the troubled dreams I'd had as I'd slept through the day -- dreams where I chased after Jasper, trying to follow him and find the clearing in the maze-like woods, knowing I would find Edward there . . . Edward, and the monsters who wanted to kill me, but not caring about them because I'd already made my decision -- I could also guess what Edward had overheard while I'd slept.