Chapter 15
Unexpected
Kellan got to spend five more entire days with me. It felt like five months with how much time we spent together. I showed him everything my hometown had to offer while he was here. My old school, the street all the kids in the neighborhood used to play on, the cafe I frequented everyday for lunch my senior year of high school. Kellan acted like I was showing him around Disneyland, genuinely interested in seeing how I'd grown up.
For some reason, though, I shied away from all of the places that Denny and I had been together, places that were important to our relationship. The restaurant where we'd had our first date, this one particular espresso stand that we'd hit nearly every morning before classes, the book store that we used to go to on lazy, Sunday mornings.
Even though I avoided pointing it out to Kellan, there was so much of Denny in this city it was nearly overwhelming at times. We'd entered adulthood together here. In a way, we'd sort of grown up together here. Walking around the reminders brought Denny to the forefront of my mind, but I pushed him back.
I could speak with my longtime friend later. My boyfriend, the man who'd recently given me his heart in a band of silver, was my primary focus. Especially since I wasn't sure when I'd get to see him again, once his five days were up.
And once those five days were up, the time didn't feel like five months anymore. It suddenly felt more like five seconds. Walking him as far as I could through the airport, I felt the heaviness of our separation in my heart. My mom was right about our relationship in one respect-it was hard. Him leaving, going out on the road to places unknown with people unknown, was taxing. It took a special person to be able to wear the weight of that strain. I wanted to be that person, I desperately wanted it. But I'd always liked consistency, and Kellan's life was no longer predictable. He was fluid now, carving a path that was as ever-changing as the weather. It knotted my stomach.
Bag slung over his shoulder, Kellan twisted to face me when it was time to part. Heart in his eyes, he laid his forehead against mine. "No goodbyes," he whispered.
I nodded, biting my lip as my eyes stubbornly stung. "I'll miss you. "
He nodded against me, sighing softly. "I'll miss you more. "
I grinned a little, shaking my head. "No, it doesn't work that way. It's always harder on the person being left than the person leaving. . . that's just a fact. "
Pulling back, he cupped my cheek. "I'm not leaving you. I'll never leave you. "
I swallowed, placing my hand over his. "I know," I whispered, hoping that what he'd just said was a fact.
He searched my eyes for long seconds, then he leaned in to kiss me. It was the softest, sweetest, most tender physical act we'd ever shared. I never wanted it to stop. I suddenly wished we were entered in one of those kissing contests right then, the kind where the couple who were locked together the longest won some outrageous prize, just so the moment would have to continue for days and days.
But that wasn't what was happening, and eventually the moment did end. He pulled apart from me, slowly, reluctantly. Biting his lip, he sighed and brushed some tears off my cheeks; I hadn't even realized I'd been crying. Engulfing me in a warm hug, he whispered in my ear, "I love you, just you. . . I promise. "
I smiled as we pulled apart, reaching up to feel his face under my fingertips. "I promise too," I whispered back.
He gave me a breathtaking smile then stepped back. Grabbing my hand, he kissed the back of it. Then he had to go, and I had to let him. I felt my heart squeeze as I watched the shape of him retreating from me. But then my eyes drifted down his body and words from Matt's neighbor drifted through my head. I smiled and shook my head. That spunky old lady was right. . . he did have a nice butt.
Anna and I spent New Year's Eve in Ohio, her going out with a group of her old friends, me staying home with my parents. I played a board game with them while I thought about Kellan singing his heart out on a stage somewhere. It had been forever since I'd heard him sing. . . I missed that too.
The first day of the New Year had Anna and I back on a plane, going home. Mom and Dad saw us both off at the gate. Mom sobbing while she hugged her girls, Dad telling us that we were welcome to come back any time we wanted, for however long we wanted. He even told me that Kellan could visit again sometime too, since he was a decent man and had obeyed the house rules.
I didn't tell Dad that Kellan and I had broken his rules on that very first night. I also didn't mention that every night after that, I'd snuck downstairs to cuddle with Kellan on the plastic-coated couch. And technically that hadn't been breaking the rules, since Dad's only stipulation was that Kellan couldn't come up to my room. He'd never said anything about me going down to him.
I also didn't mention that fact to Mom, since Kellan and I had caved once or twice on that couch and she had specifically asked for that not to happen in her house. I couldn't help it, though. Sometimes my common sense flew right out the window when Kellan touched me. Okay, most of the time it did.
When our plane touched down on the west coast, my heart dropped a little. At least back in Ohio, I was closer to where Kellan was, as he continued his touring by the east coast. Now that I was back at home, the country had never seemed so large. I cursed the vastness of it all.
Stepping into Pete's that night, since the work-free part of my winter vacation was over, I was assaulted nearly instantly. A cute, perky blonde threw her arms around me. "Kiera! You're back!" Pulling back, Jenny beamed up at me. "We missed you so much. "
I laughed as I hugged her, warmed by her welcome. "I missed you guys too. " As we separated, a flash of sparkle around her neck caught my eye. Fingering the pendant against her skin, a gold heart with a diamond floating in the center of it, I smiled. "This is really pretty. Is it from Evan?"
Jenny picked it up and giggled. "Yeah. " She pointed to the silver guitar I always wore tucked under my clothes. "Now we kind of match, right?"
I smiled and nodded, lightly tracing the shape of the guitar under my shirt. Jenny flicked a finger at the ring I was unconsciously showing her. A knowing smile on her face, she asked, "That from Kellan?"
Seeing that she clearly already knew it was, I looked down at it and nodded. She sighed as she pulled my hand over to examine it. Shaking her head she told me, "Yeah, Evan told me about these. He was there when Kellan picked them out. " She peeked up at me, her blue eyes bright. "Kellan wears one too, right?"
I nodded again, fingering the elegant band around my finger. "Yeah, his is plain silver. It's simple, it suits him. . . it's really nice. "
My voice got a little dreamy on me and Jenny smiled, dropping my hand. "That boy never ceases to surprise me," she murmured. "I honestly didn't think he had it in him to be so committed to one person. " She shrugged, hugging me again. "Well, I'm glad it's you that he loves. " Starting to walk away, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "If I had to constantly hang around some of the girls he's been with, I think I'd shoot myself. " She smirked and laughed, then seemed to realize what she'd said and stopped walking. "Oh, I didn't mean to bring up. . . you know. . . he's just. . . there were some that. . . "
She sighed and shrugged, looking really embarrassed. I forced myself to laugh and shrug my shoulders. "I know. I know what he was. It's okay, Jenny. Don't worry about it. "
She relaxed a little, tossing out an apology before scampering off to work. I inhaled a deep breath and let it go. His past flings were no great secret. It nearly seemed like there was a group of them that held weekly meetings, comparing notes. Oh, he did that with you too! How amazing for the both of us!
I smirked at myself, imaging Rita as the president of the club and Candy as the vice president. Rain could be the treasurer. . . mechanic girl could be the secretary. Rolling my eyes, I headed to the back room to start getting ready for work. Filling up that imaginary club's imaginary positions had been way too easy.
Before I knew it, I was back into my old routine. School started back up again and I had all new classes for the new quarter. Still going for my Bachelor of Arts with a major in English, my classes were heavy on literature. . . and homework. I enrolled in a class that I was sure was going to be as challenging as my Critical Practices class-Studies in Expository Writing. Under my guidance counselor's advice, I also signed up for a course on the Theory and Practice of Teaching Writing. She said that learning to teach someone else was also a good way to learn something yourself. I agreed, although the thought of standing in front of class giving lectures made me want to pee my pants. But I could do it if I had to. If Kellan had gotten through the challenges in his life, I could surely get through my far more trivial woes.
On the bright side, I now had Friday afternoons off. True, I'd mainly be studying, but a bright side is a bright side. That and my ethics class was over. And no more ethics meant no more Candy. And she apparently was not focusing on English as her major; she didn't show up in any of my new classes.
Cheyenne did, though. The outgoing woman slung her arm around me when she showed up in my poetry class. Only briefly asking how my rock star boyfriend was, she streamed on and on about her holiday break. I listened eagerly, glad that I had a life and connections outside of Kellan. That, for once, focusing on him wasn't all I had. Like Mom feared with Anna, I didn't want to rely on one thing for my happiness. That wasn't to say that Kellan didn't give me the most joy, he did, but there were other pockets of contentment that I drew strength from too.
Thinking that this new quarter at school might be the best one I've had there, and the hardest, Cheyenne and I decided to duck out for some much needed coffee after poetry class one frigid February afternoon. The professor had been discussing how different interpretations could alter the meaning of the work completely. The flowery language was a little hard to wrap my head around, but Cheyenne was actually very intuitive on the subject.
I listened to her explanation of our latest assignment, enraptured. I was finally starting to feel like I understood the piece. That was how I ended up walking right into someone. I'd never actually had that happen to me before, collision-coursing into someone, and my face turned about five shades of red. While Cheyenne giggled at my clumsiness, I quickly apologized to the stranger I'd nearly steamrolled over.
He took a step back, steadying himself, and we both locked onto each other's eyes at the same time, each stammering apologies. "I'm sorr-"
I couldn't finish my sentence as I stared into a warm set of deep brown eyes. Brown eyes that I'd been sure I'd never stare into again. Feeling all the blood drain from my face, I whispered, "Denny?"
He inhaled a deep breath, holding it for a second before releasing it in a rush. With a soft smile, he quietly said, "Hi, Kiera. "
Hearing his accent curl around my name in person, gave me an ache in my stomach. I stared at him, shocked into momentary silence. Denny Harris. He looked the same as the last time I'd seen him, over a year ago. The same, yet different, too. His dark hair was a bit longer than before, styled back away from his face in a way that made him seem older. The scruff along his jaw was thicker too. Nowhere near a beard, but heavier than he used to keep it. It also aged him. In fact, everything about him seemed older, from his clearly more expensive clothes to the way he stood just a little taller. It was almost like he'd left Seattle a boy, and returned a man.
"You look good," I finally whispered, my throat feeling painfully dry.
He smiled uncertainly, his eyes drifting over my body for a second. "So do you. "
A tension built up as we stared at each other. It must have made Cheyenne uncomfortable; I know it was making me feel that way. I just never expected to literally run into my ex on the street.
Placing her hand on my shoulder, she murmured, "I should go. . . I'll see you later, Kiera. "
I nodded at her, never once taking my eyes from Denny. People hustled around us on the chilly sidewalk but I ignored them. The impossibility of Denny before me was all I could focus on. After another long moment, when Denny started looking around, like he didn't know what to say, I sputtered, "You're back. . . in Seattle?"
He looked at me and smiled and I felt stupidity flow right through me. Of course he was back. . . I was staring right at him. Shaking my head, I added, "I mean why are you back?" Closing my eyes, knowing I was sounding rude and flustered, I took a deep breath before I spoke again. Reopening them, I calmly told him, "I mean. . . it's good to see you. "
He ran a hand through his hair, biting his lip before answering. "It's good to see you too. "
Shaking my head at him, only one thought kept crashing around my head. Well, second thought really, right behind the first one that I'd already rudely asked him. Thinking this one wasn't quite so rude, I allowed myself to ask it. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Fourteen hour flights weren't exactly spur of the moment things after all, and Denny and I did talk on occasion, although, not since Kellan had left, back in November.
Denny looked around the street, then over to the coffee shop Cheyenne and I had been heading towards. He motioned to it with his hand. "Do you want to go inside? Talk somewhere. . . warm. " He shivered and I smiled, knowing that he was used to warmer climes now, especially this time of year.
After I nodded an agreement, we silently walked towards the shop. Walking beside him, a small part of me wanted to hold his hand. It was odd to feel that way, after so much time apart, but it was still in me, somewhere. I didn't, though. I'd made a promise to be true to Kellan, a promise encircled on my finger. I wasn't about to break it.
Denny paused at the door, holding it open for me like the gentleman he was. I smiled and thanked him and he looked away, a flush lightly coloring his tanned face. It would seem I wasn't the only one holding onto a lingering attraction. But I knew Denny wouldn't do anything about it either. He was loyal when he was with someone, and right now, he was with Abby. As we moved to order our drinks, I idly wondered if she was in the city with him.
I ordered a latte, Denny ordered tea. I smiled at the familiarity of it all. Sitting at a quiet booth, we both sipped our steaming cups in silence. I was the one that broke it first. "So, do you need your car back?"
I cringed, both over asking him that right out of the gate, and at the fact that Anna had so girlified his vehicle that he probably wouldn't want it back. Denny smiled and shook his head. "No, the company got me a rental. You can keep it. " He tilted his head and smiled warmly before returning to his mug.
I cleared my throat, tucking some hair behind my ears. "The company? So, you're here for work?"
Denny nodded, not looking up at me. "Yeah, they're expanding, opening branches in the U. S. , in Seattle. " He shrugged. "Since I know the area and have a lot of contacts here, they gave me the assignment. " He looked back up at me. "I'll be running the office here. "
A ghost of a smile formed on his lips as my mouth fell open. He was so young, still a few years from thirty, and he was going to be in charge? I always knew he was brilliant, but. . . wow. "Oh my God, Denny, that's. . . incredible. Congratulations. "
His smile widened. "Thank you. "
Shaking my head, still amazed, I murmured, "Abby must be so proud of you. Is she here?" I looked around like she was suddenly going to appear beside one of the tables.
Denny sighed softly and I looked back at him. Sadly peering into his cup, he shook his head. "No. . . she's still in Australia. "
Recognizing the loss in his face, I put a hand on his arm. Even though I didn't want there to be, I felt something in that brief connection. Something warm and familiar, something that reminded me of being held, being comforted, being loved. I dropped my fingers when he snapped his eyes up to mine, his reflecting the same remembrance that I was feeling. In a whisper I told him, "I'm sorry the two of you didn't work out. "
He bunched his brows and shook his head. "No, we're still together. She just. . . she couldn't make it up yet. " He frowned and looked back at the doors. "We work for the same company and they wouldn't let her out of her current assignment. She has to finish up with the client before she can fly out here. It's a long job. . . it may be months before she can make it. "
He looked back at me. "Why would you assume we broke up?"
I froze, not exactly sure how to answer that. Mainly, I'd just assumed he'd been forced to choose between a girl and his dream job. I assumed that, once again, he'd taken the job. Studying my face, his mouth dropped a little. "Because I took the Tucson job, right?"
I shrugged, still not wanting to say it. He sighed and reached across the table to grab my hand. "You know I'm sorry for that, Kiera. I think. . . I think that's really the only thing I regret with you. " I looked up from our joined skin to lock eyes with him. He smiled a little. "Well, that and. . . " He nodded at my head and I cringed, not wanting to remember that either. Sighing, he shook his head. "But Tucson. . . I should have called you. I should have talked to you first, before I just. . . took it. "
I bit my lip, not wanting to start crying. I'd cried enough over Denny and I. His thumb idly stroked mine as he searched my face, his deep eyes looking soulfully apologetic. Knowing that I had way more to apologize to him for than his one mistake with me, I smiled reassuringly. "Everything is okay now, Denny. You don't need to feel bad about that anymore. "
He nodded, but didn't seem any less sorry. Searching his eyes, I again marveled at the oddity of seeing him here, in my city, practically on my doorstep. Shaking my head, I again asked, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
Denny looked away, not answering. Seeing his jaw tighten under the thicker hairline, I surmised what he didn't want to say. "You were hoping you wouldn't see me. You were hoping the city would be large enough that we'd never cross paths. " He looked back to me and sighed. I shook my head. "I'm right, aren't I?"
Shrugging, he looked down at our hands. Somewhere in my questions, I'd laced them together and we were now holding each other across the table. I didn't pull away. He didn't either. Instead, he shook his head and whispered, "Talking with you on the phone is one thing, but I wasn't. . . I didn't know if I could handle seeing you. " He looked up at me, his eyes glossy. "You're so. . . " He sighed, his eyes drifting over my face, and didn't finish his thought.
Swallowing, he looked back at our hands. "I was just hoping that I could come back secretly and then we'd still have the long distance friendship thing. I wanted to avoid this. . . confusion. "
He sighed again and I finally released his hand. Patting the top of it, I pushed it back towards him. "There isn't any confusion, Denny. " He looked up at me and I smiled at him. "You're with Abby and you're happy with her, right?" Smiling softly, Denny nodded. I nodded too, ignoring the ever-so-slight pang I felt. "And I'm happy with Kellan. "
His face flinched just fractionally, so swiftly that I would have missed it if I hadn't been looking for it. Not allowing myself to dwell on the guilt building, I smiled and shook my head. "So, if we're both happy, then there's no reason to fear a face-to-face friendship. " Tilting my head, I sighed, my eyes stinging. "And I've missed that friendship. . . so much. "
His eyes even glossier, he returned his hand to mine. "I have too, Kiera. "
Pulling back his hand, he laughed a little and ran it through his hair. I laughed a little as well, the emotion releasing from me. We'd been friends for far too long to let this awkwardness permanently alter our relationship. If he was going to be here for a while, we'd find a way to move past it.
Smiling, I picked up my coffee and took a long sip. He did as well, his eyes flashing to the ring on my finger. He didn't react to seeing it, though, so I wasn't sure if he understood what it meant. Lots of people wore rings on their right hands. It wasn't always symbolic. I didn't intend to tell him what it meant either. He'd probably find it morbidly funny that Kellan had given us a physical reminder to be faithful to one another. Looking at the gift through Denny's eyes, the tender exchange between us seemed a little. . . sad.
A thought struck me that made me frown. There was no way I could tell Kellan that Denny was here in Seattle, not while Kellan was thousands of miles away. He'd flip out. He'd drop everything and come back here. He was friends with Denny, considered him a brother, but there was way too much uncertainty between us. . . our rings were proof of that. And Denny was the one person on this earth that I had actually cheated on Kellan with.
That wasn't really what had happened; technically I was cheating on Denny, not Kellan. But I'd made love to Kellan, told him that I was his. . . then I'd slept with Denny one final time. Kellan knew about it. . . it ate at him. Denny was the one person Kellan would never trust me with. I just couldn't risk him throwing away his dream on an unfounded fear. And I'd never hurt him like that again. Never. Not even if Kellan cheated on me and I hated him. I'd break it off with him before I ever touched another man. I would not be a whore again. I just couldn't live with the consequences.
Besides, that wasn't going to happen. Denny and I were past that point in our relationship and Kellan had nothing to worry about. But I'd never be able to convince him. He'd possessively watch over me like an animal marking its territory, warning the other males away. Kellan didn't share. . . he'd already told me that much.
Maybe noticing my expression, Denny quietly asked, "Everything okay?"
I straightened my face, shaking my head. "Yeah, just thinking. . . " I bit my lip, wondering if I should confess my fears to Denny or not. Again, he'd probably find it morbidly funny. Deciding to put it a different way, I shrugged and asked, "Is Abby okay with you being here. . . with me. "
Denny immediately shook his head, lowering his mug from his mouth. "I'm not here with you. "
I flushed and looked down, not expecting words that harshly true to leave his mouth. I was used to flowers and poetry. I was used to sappy comments about me being his heart. He sighed. "That came out wrong. I just mean. . . I came here for the job. " I looked back up at him and he shrugged. "Abby knows what went down with me and you. She knows that I would never go back to you, Kiera. "
He held my eye, not backing down from his coldly honest statement. I felt my lip quaver as so many emotions flooded me I couldn't sort through them all. He was bluntly saying exactly what I'd been thinking. It was no great shock, but still. . . hearing it put so plainly. . . Yeah, it stung.
Frowning, he shook his head. "I'm sorry that's sounds. . . cold. " He finally looked away from me, down to the cup cooling in his hands. "Sometimes the truth is cold. " He peered up at me, and when he spoke again, his accent was thicker with emotion. "I still want your friendship, though. You're still important to me. "
I nodded, swiping a stubborn tear away from my eye. "It's okay to be honest with me, Denny. " I sighed, laughing a little. "I was sitting here, sort of thinking the same thing anyway. " He tilted his head, his dark brows bunching, and I laughed again. "Just that Kellan had nothing to worry about because you and I would never. . . go down that path again. "
Denny laughed and shook his head. Raising his mug, he extended it to me. "To never sleeping together again?" he teased, a sparkle in his eye.
Seeing my favorite goofy grin returning, I smiled and clinked his mug with mine. "To never having sex again. " He raised an eyebrow at me and I quickly added, "With each other, I mean. "
Laughing heartily, he sipped his tea as I quickly downed my coffee. God, I was an idiot. Still chuckling, he relaxed back in his seat again. I smiled that the residual tension had started melting away. I didn't think I could ever just be friends with Kellan again-hell, we'd never managed to just be friends when we were friends-but Denny. . . the comfort there made it easy to slip into that role with each other.
As Denny smirked to himself, I worried my lip, thinking of Kellan again. Setting down my drink, I cleared my throat. Denny looked up at me. "Um, this is going to sound weird, but if you happen to talk to Kellan anytime soon. . . can you not tell him that you're here?"
Denny sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Kiera. . . "
I shook my head, interrupting his protest. "Please? Just. . . fail to mention it?"
Sighing, Denny leaned over the table. "Kiera, I don't want to tell you how to handle your relationship with him, but. . . you'll never last if you start lying to him. "
I shook my head, leaning over as well. "And I won't lie. . . I just don't want to tell him right now. "
Denny gave me a dry look, like he didn't see the difference in my statement. Honestly, I knew I was stretching the truth line, but Kellan would not react well to Denny being so close to me while he was gone. It was too similar to how we'd first gotten together.
Placing my hand over Denny's, I shook my head again. "I know this is big, and I will tell him. " I sighed, pausing. "I just need to figure out how to tell him without. . . scaring him. "
Denny stared at me a moment, then his face softened into compassion. "Alright, I won't tell him. . . but I won't lie either. If he asks me, I'll tell him. " I started nodding immediately and Denny raised his eyebrows. "I'll tell him everything, Kiera. . . even this conversation. "
I swallowed, then nodded. "That's fine. . . it won't come to that. I'll tell him first. "
He sighed, shaking his head as he looked out the window. "You better. . . I don't need him venting his frustrations on me. "
He bit his lip as his voice trailed off. I cringed. That's exactly what Denny had done to Kellan, the night he'd beaten him to a bloody pulp. Holding his hand in both of mine, I whispered, "Thank you, Denny. "
He nodded, looking back to me. Changing the subject, I shifted to his new job. He brightened instantly, and then it was just like it was years ago, when he was telling me about something he was really excited about. He'd been in town for about a month, since the first part of the year, living out of a four star hotel until he found a place to rent.
"Why don't you stay at Kellan's?" I asked before I could think about it.
He looked at me oddly, then shook his head. "No, I don't think that would be a good idea. "
I cringed, nodding. No, probably not. The ghosts were there for me, for Denny, who had had an awful situation explode in his face without any warning. . . the ghosts would be even harder to handle. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to set foot in Kellan's house again. It was kind of dumb for me to even ask. I guess I was just trying to be practical, like Denny often was, and Kellan's place was completely empty right now. Vacant, patiently waiting for its owner's return, just like me.
After explaining some of the campaigns he'd been involved in, even one for a feminine hygiene product that he could barely talk about with a straight face, I finally noticed the time on a clock behind him.
"Oh crap, I'm gonna be late. " Denny glanced at the clock I was looking at and scrunched his face. It was a cute expression and I laughed before I remembered why I really needed to go. Standing up, I collected my jacket and book bag. "We've been talking for longer than I realized. I'm gonna be late for work. "
Denny nodded, standing and gathering his coat as well.
Pausing as I slipped mine on, I tilted my head at the door. "Do you want to come with me?" Shrugging, I added, "I could get you some dinner. . . just like old times. "
He looked down, smiling softly. "Just like old times. " When he looked back up, he shrugged, his goofy grin returning. "Sure. . . why not?"
Denny followed me to Pete's in his company car, a sleek, black thing that looked pricey. It made me smile that he was doing well; I always knew he would. That was something I'd always been sure about with Denny-he would have success at anything he tried. And being in charge at his age. . . it seemed he already was going places.
Pulling into Kellan's unofficially reserved parking spot, I watched Denny pull up beside me. He was frowning as he stared at Kellan's Chevelle, maybe wondering where his Honda was. I'd probably have to mention at some point that Anna had nearly confiscated the vehicle from me. Hopefully he wasn't too bothered by the news.
But he didn't mention anything as he stood by his sporty car, waiting for me. It was so weird to see him here, like I'd fallen through a wormhole and been shoved back in time. Things were different, but things were the same, too. As I stepped up to his side, he twisted and we started walking to the doors. I felt a split-second of loss that he hadn't held his hand out for me. It wasn't that I wanted him to, or needed him to, more like I'd expected him to.
When you're around someone for so long, you learn to anticipate their behavior, and in the past, Denny would have always smiled and extended a hand to me if we were walking together. Him not doing it was a little jarring, and I instantly didn't feel like I was reliving the past anymore.
I realized the flaw with my impromptu plan when Denny walked through the doors with me-everyone's jaw dropped as they all stared at us together again. Rita, Kate, all the regulars. . . even Jenny looked taken aback. Not many of them knew the Denny/Kellan triangle, but they knew that Denny was my ex and Kellan was my current.
That Denny was conveniently back in town while Kellan was away was enough to cause a swirl of gossip in and of itself. That we were suddenly hanging out was even weirder, by several people's standards from the looks on their faces. I'd probably have to have the "don't tell Kellan" speech with a few of my friends too. Just for now. I needed some time first, a plan to keep Kellan from overreacting.
Leaning over a little as he stood beside me, Denny murmured, "Is it just me, or is everyone staring at us?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes, looking up at him. "It's not just you. . . I guess it's been a slow week for news. " I laughed. "We're now the hottest story in town. "
He smirked at me. "Oh good, and I was worried that this would be awkward. "
I laughed a little more and motioned for him to take a seat anywhere he wanted. Surprisingly, or maybe it was just an unconscious habit since he'd usually sat there, he chose the band's table.
I watched him for a moment before heading to the back to deposit my stuff. I nearly had my second collision of the day when Jenny stepped in front of me. Sidestepping just in time, I felt my heart skip a beat. I really hated running into people.
Jenny frowned as she glanced at Denny. She leaned into me. Speaking quietly, like she was afraid Denny could hear her all the way across the room, she whispered, "What are you doing, Kiera?"
I looked over her face, a flame of irritation starting to flicker in me. Did everyone think I was incapable of just being friends with a guy? "Well, I thought I'd start my shift, since I am a few minutes late. "
I tried to continue on to the back, but Jenny grabbed my arm. "No, with him, what are you doing with him?"
I looked over at Denny. Leaning on his elbows over the table, he was looking around the bar, absorbing being back inside it. Maybe he'd missed the place? Seeing his friend back in the city, Sam started heading Denny's way. I heard his booming greeting as I twisted back to Jenny. "I ran into an old friend who is back in town. I invited him here to buy him dinner, because I've missed seeing him. " Carefully unfurling her fingers from my arm, I added, "Why is that a problem?"
I knew why. . . and so did Jenny. Shaking her head, she murmured, "He's not just a friend, Kiera, he's your ex, the ex you and Kellan. . . "
She sighed and I bit my lip to hold back my comment. Yes, I knew exactly what Kellan and I had done to him. I didn't need it spelled out. Glancing at my promise ring, she changed what she'd been about to say. "Does Kellan know he's here? Are you going to. . . see him. . . while Kellan's away?"
I tilted my head, wondering if she'd really just asked if I was going to start carrying on with two men again. Shaking my head a little more harshly than was necessary, I snapped, "No!" She flinched a little at my reaction and exhaling, I made myself relax. I looped my arm around hers and started walking us to the back.
She relaxed against me as we walked, and in a more controlled voice I told her, "Yes, I'm going to probably hang out with him a few times while he's back in town. " She raised her eyebrows at me and I quickly added, "No, I'm not 'seeing' him. " I glanced down at the ring snug around my finger and smiled. "I'm Kellan's. . . and that's not going to change, but Denny is a friend, and I'm not just going to ignore that he's here. "
We stepped into the hallway and Jenny nodded, looking contemplative. Shaking my head, I added, "I'm not going back down a road that ended. . . as badly as it did. " I sighed and dropped my head. "I've learned my lesson, Jenny. I'm not that person anymore. "
She patted my back as we stopped in front of the back room. "I know, Kiera. I guess I just didn't want to see you mess up a good thing. " She ducked down to meet my eye. "And you and Kellan are a good thing. "
I smiled and nodded. As she gave me a swift hug and prepared to leave, I grabbed her elbow. "Can you. . . when you talk to Evan, can you not mention that Denny's here?"
Her shoulders slumping, she gave me the exact same look Denny had earlier. "Kiera. . . "
I shook my head. "Kellan won't understand. He won't believe that nothing is going on. He will drop the tour and come home. He'll stay by my side until I'm done with school or Denny leaves, whichever comes first. " I shook my head, slowly. "He'll throw away everything, Jenny. His dreams. . . and Evan's. "
Jenny sighed, holding my gaze. "You're going to tell him?"
I nodded. "Yes. . . as soon as I figure out how. "
Closing her eyes, she shook her head. Opening them, she seemed resigned. . . and irritated. "I hate lying, Kiera, especially to Evan. "
Releasing her elbow, I looked down. I hated lying too, but sometimes you had to fudge a little bit, to protect people. As Denny said, sometimes the truth was cold. Why inflict someone with the sting of it, if you didn't have to? "I know, Jenny. " I peeked back up at her. "Just don't mention it, if you can help it. "
She twisted her lip, then nodded. Shaking her head a little, she walked away. I called out a thanks but she didn't look back at me. I sighed, hating this small deception already. It was necessary, though, for the time being.