SUICIDAL INTENTIONS
Part Three: Electric Chair
by
J. Niessen
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Published by
Suicidal Intentions: Electric Chair
Copyright © 2014 by J. Niessen
Cover Page by J’s Art Emporium, Copyright 2014
Thank you for downloading this eBook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied, and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the material remains in its complete original form.
This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, places, events, or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously.
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SUICIDAL INTENTIONS
Part Three: Electric Chair
Table of Contents
Chapter One: Dead Creek Falls
Chapter Two: Fire and Ice
Chapter Three: Falling Stars
Chapter Four: Desertion
Other Parts in the Suicidal Intentions Series
Part One: Lethal Injection
Part Two: Firing Squad
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Chapter One: Dead Creek Falls
Nate is driving upstate with his close friend Karen, both in their mid thirties, on their way to a small retreat town for the weekend to escape the stress of their everyday lives. Glancing over, Nate’s heartrate quickens, seeing his travel companion’s matured beauty, taken by Karen’s noticeable similarities to Jennifer Connelly. It’s been ten years since they last met in person. Reunited by social media, their estranged friendship picked right up where they left off.
Karen’s husband Ash, having met Nate early on, accepts that he can trust his wife and Nate alone together. Karen presented this idea for the trip; it’s something her husband agreed she could do in the process of working through their marital conflict. She leaves behind two girls who are at school, and a husband who is at work, when Nate comes to pick her up.
There is a dangerous aspect to Nate’s longtime high school friend’s personality, which emerges methodically. It is the source of emotional instability in her spousal relationship, and cause for neglect as a mother. At the core of it Karen is unhappy with her life and lacks self respect. Doubts question if circumstances would be better, had she gathered the strength to fight off Ash as he predatorily took advantage of her vulnerability (time after time) imposing this marital entrapment. She resents Ash for making her feel forced into wedlock.
At birth she’s named Kharon by her mom, her primary guardian; reared with her older sister. While growing up she would stay at her dad’s and stepmom’s periodically.
Her stepmom, Gwen, is a conniving woman, fixating her attention on Karen when she’s around. This raw energy strangles Karen’s optimism in her younger years. Embracing strong change Karen adapts Gwen’s behavior to become a similarly strong individual. More than just a way of life, this aptitude manifests into a supernatural power implemented by her stepmother through verbal abuse. Karen inadvertently nurtures the aspect’s thirst during her trying adolescent and teenage years. It serves in the manipulative form of self-confidence, amplifying her sense of loneliness to falsely comfort despondency. Moreover it has proven to protect her.
Nathaniel is the only one who has accurately discerned this feature. Even Karen’s husband Ash is oblivious to the presence of this powerful entity dubbed by Nate as Ahsura.
“Why did you even get married?” Nate asks Karen with a bewildered look, as they’re on the road, half an hour into the trip. It’s a bothersome question, why she chose to shack up with Ash, knowing from the extent of their deep conversations (shared since their early teenage years) that Karen was an emotional time bomb, and had a detached coldness, which even close relatives kept clear of and were unable to thaw. Most importantly she stressed the desire (when opening up to Nate) of wanting to live life on her own when finally having that chance.
“It was Ash’s fault,” Karen answers.
It’s still frightening how her appearance changes as she gets upset, Nathanial thinks, like she’s someone entirely different; and yet it’s intriguing to see this other personality emerge as Karen takes on a keen, seductive look similar to Megan Fox. Even her words and the way they’re spoken are uniquely different through Nate’s keen perception…
“He told me he got kicked in the balls once, pissed blood for a week, and couldn’t get a girl pregnant. When I told him the news of our unexpected pregnancy, he went to my mom, asked for her blessing, went to my estranged dad to do the same, and then proposed to me.
“That’s something you never had the balls to do. You were always on bad terms with my family because you never tried to patch things up with them.” Nate realizes this “time of finding herself” has to do with him, sensing her harbored animosity derives from his early friendship.
Her memory is so sharp and accurate at times, except for when it comes to addressing the hurtful situations that strike personally at him. Nagging at his focus is the longing to bring out the underlining facts, to point out her vindictive style of going behind his back when she’s upset with him, using slander to retaliate and spread discord amongst family members. The concept veers Nate off onto a side note. Each of his girlfriends have displayed this same badmouthing, tainting their own image beyond forgiveness, and in the process devastating chances at reconciliation. Then he realizes that with each romantic involvement a piece of his humanity has been lost; portions of his spirit (taken by each ex) are gone, which he will never get back.
Nate drops the issue, refocusing on his friend’s struggles, deciding that if he does bring up her harmful faults it will be at a later time when Karen may be more receptive to these truths.
“Okay. That’s one oops. But you have two girls. You told me early on you had no desire of raising a family. What happened there; and why then did you have a second one?”
“You didn’t have to bring that up Nathaniel. I don’t want to talk about it,” she tells him. Nate detects shame tied in with this. She wouldn’t dare come back with “It’s none of your business!” because the two made a promise to always maintain open honesty. This avoidance would destroy that trust they’ve strived to preserve. From in the deep recesses of her mind Karen is reminded of this agreement, however she’s not the one in full control at the moment.
The tension (building like caffeinated energy in Nathaniel) beams from his person. It was happening and she couldn’t believe he still had this uncanny ability to connect with her when she was hiding behind her tenacious character. Even greater appall comes from realizing the same appetite that fed on her near miscarriage feeds on this charging energy Nate puts out.
She knows what he’s thinking. He’s never needed to tell her something more than once, because that lesson will stick in her subconscious forever, suddenly sounding when needed.
Despite Karen’s emotional issues, which she is notoriously stubborn with, she is extremely sharp, pushing Nate constantly to develop his intellectual potential, to keep a higher standard of sophistication about him. Frustrated by her silence Nate adds…
“I shouldn’t even be with you right now, Ashura,” turning his attention directly at Karen, training his focus so she recognizes his disappointment. He sees what others don’t or can’t quite put a finger on; when her personality changes, so does her appearance. Looking into the visor’s mirror she notices. He’s the only one who calls her that, indicating the defining stages of her hostility. “This boy secretes pleasant fuel,” Ashura thinks, intrigued by his clairvoyance.
Nate makes this claim realizing they are approaching a path of betrayal.
&nbs
p; He fears being with this part of Karen, the dark half. If at any time she were to commit to getting rid of him his chances of survival are meager based on her management of thoughts.
What really bothers Nate is that she’s taking this rare and valuable time they have to spend together to talk and get down to the heart of her problems, for granted. Sure they had the next couple of days to focus on her issues…but that was really all they had.
Nate lives each moment assuming it’s the last opportunity they ever have together. Very few people have this profound influence over him; because of this it makes life more intense and exceptional. Suddenly it dawns on Nate. Suppose she has no interest in becoming better, considering the possibility this trip has been fashioned for her to delve deeper into degeneracy.
Nate clenches the steering wheel, holding back boiling animosity, considering his ride-along could care less about each precious minute passing, and if addressed would instigate verbal conflict. The trick Nate has learned, to abate an argument with Ashura in the thick of one, is to share with her personal defeats. It lays the playing field as common ground. Sometimes this strategy fails, and the wounds he’s revealed open to spill greater sorrow. This is not a place that he wants to venture to, and as a trusted friend must work to avoid creating these scenarios.
Ashura considers stirring up intensity with the statement “You’re only with me because secretly you’re hoping we’ll have sex,” or “Don’t think you’re innocent in all this, you’ve tried to use me in the past, Nathaniel.” It’s a daring challenge as Kharon was reared without regular fatherly correction. Both halves to her personality want more than ever to experience Nathaniel’s aggressive side, to see how he would reprimand and punish her. But she’d have to wait. If he’s unwilling to meet this need then she’ll find someone who is; a trait absent in Ash.
“My youngest doesn’t belong to my husband,” her alter ego, Ashura, finally expels; her sharp piercing eyes staring back; this thick-skinned, guardian protector daringly in control of the conversation now. “I know what he ultimately wants. Ash wants to tie me down, break my spirit, domesticate me so that I relent, to insure I’ll always be there for him…so that he’s never lonely. All this does for me is make me feel penned in, make my emotions frantic, and it causes me to turn on him. So I wait for when he’s vulnerable to attack…because I despise him. He’s forced me into this life; it seriously makes me want to make his life miserable in return. I owe him for that. Thinking about him touching me makes my skin crawl and my stomach sick.”
She reaches to the back seat and grabs a white tank top from her gym bag, takes her sweater off by lifting it up over her shoulders and head, revealing the black lace bra she wears, before slipping the top on. Tossing the grey hoodie behind her she ties her hair up. “You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to feed him something that would cause shrinkage, so he’d be unable to perform sexually,” she admits, while digging through her purse, then goes on…
“Sometimes I get these cravings. I wanna see if I can make him angry enough so that his calm composure will explode and turn physical. I wonder what he’d be like in a violent situation. Would he break stuff? How would he use his hands; would he kick? Would he reach for an object for use as a weapon, or try and subdue me with his physical strength? There are only two ways out of this marriage, Nathaniel…” a torrent of focus swarms in the darkness of her eyes, “That’s to either catch him in the act of cheating, or, well, you know the alternative.”
Nate studies this cold woman seated so close, searching for traces of the caring Jennifer side, but none are evident. This Megan Fox looking side to his longtime friend welcomes the challenge of a fatal confrontation. Such experiences have trained him to heed these heightened moments as serious engagements. Suppose she abruptly shifted this animosity toward him, would the verbal abuse turn physical, how far would it go, and then at what point would it stop?
“I’ve given him his way out,” she continues, looking into the overhead mirror she applies maroon lipstick. “All he has to do is get our youngest, Kayla, tested. Then he’ll know if she’s his. I even shouted at him once “She isn’t your child!” I want him gone and out of my life!”
There was something awful behind the answer expanding. Nate senses a vile conspiracy on the verge of breakout, and questions what she would be willing to give up for her liberation.
“I got in contact with Tyler Lipton again, when Ash and I were two years into our marriage.” Ignoring Nathaniel’s disapproval she lights a cigarette, the window rolled down. “He’s the guy I had a crush on in college.” Nate nods in response.
“As we were talking he made these wonderful promises, saying how great our lives would be if he and I were together. I started sneaking around to see him, believing this fantastical idea of coming into wealth and the grand introduction to a life with influential ties. So here’s the deal breaker! Once I told him I was carrying his child, he punched me in the stomach and left me there.” Nate detects swelling tension in the air, and an odor it puts off. The smoke does nothing to conceal the smell of dried flowers. The brutality of the situation stings his eyes with sympathetic pain, realizing how horrible things were while Ashura continues…
“Crippled by the pain of indignant betrayal, shocked and confused by such evilness from what Ryan has done to me, my hurt became strength. I felt the bitter tension he forced into my womb form into a power source, and it was building inside me. From that transformation the risk of a miscarriage was absorbed. This is what gives your so called Ashura strength, Nate,” then exhaling a jet of smoke his direction. Snidely flicking the cigarette’s ash out the window Megan rolls her eyes, considering what transpired, and stares out at the country scenery. With her face turned Nate wonders which half she’s speaking as when she adds “I needed to be in the arms of someone who loved me, so I went to my husband. As far as he knows Kayla is his.
“Does that answer your question?” her focus turning back and judging Nate’s stance.
“You did what you had to do,” he answers. “Kayla could have been brought into this world under far more strenuous circumstances.” Nate wonders if what he shares is getting through to Karen; and what it’d be like for her on her own, going after Tyler with legal action.
Aware of a common exchange between them, Nate offers this treacherous character a chance to redirect her focus. Through this, maybe he can draw the caring side back.
“So, I know there’s something you’ve been meaning to ask, go ahead then.”
Karen considers making Nathaniel feel depressed, betrayed, guilty, or stripped down and vulnerable. That longing diminishes, her tensions satisfied by letting the truth be known; a rapid heartbeat no longer pounding in her chest; she feels calm and relaxed and pictures Nathaniel giving her an affectionate and relaxing massage. His negative energy has ceased. He’s soothing her anxieties with his serene mind and calm demeanor. He’s not behaving like other guys have in the past, evident of their angle to take sexual advantage of her, concealing their lusts with charm. The roles are reversed. He is allowing, wholeheartedly, for her to take advantage of him.
She needs Nathaniel’s friendship, and wonders what could have happened, why nothing did, and if there was a possibility of them intimately drawing closer within these next couple of days. Forbidden thoughts enter, of them romantically in each other’s arms.
“I want you to keep this to yourself, Nathaniel. But answer me this.” Putting the cigarette out in the ashtray she reaches to the back for a white button up top to put on over her revealing tank. “If you could have any wish in the world, what would that be?”
Karen keeps that intimate picture held in her thoughts, wishing that image of them lying together would go to her driver, and imagines him in control.
Nathaniel, without a second thought, says silently “I wish this soft and carrying side to you would stay forever.” Her tender appearance is back. Ashura is gone f
or now. Query comes after making this wish. What would happen with Ashura if she was in fact forced away?
“Okay I have my wish in mind. What about you, Karen…what would you wish for?”
Looking at the clock and seeing that the time indicating Nate’s birthday has passed, and it has nothing to do with hers, Karen responds…“For you to pull over up ahead, I have to pee.”
Karen needs to go four times more often than Nate does, but it’s senseless for him to argue this. Besides, it would only draw her defenses up to reply with a snide comment. “Wow, Nate!” he can hear her say, “Maybe you need to change out your tampon while we’re stopped.”
They approach a sign posted to the roadside “Way Man’s Lake Exit.” Below the title another marker “Acheron’s Crossing 1 Mile Ahead.” Proceeding they go to check out the lake.