"Beats me. Maybe he likes to fish?" Thandi suggests.
"But there are musicians on Elsewhere. Why wouldn't Curtis want to be a musician?"
Thandi sighs. "He already did that once, Liz. And it obviously didn't make him very happy."
Liz remembers those long marks and bruises on his arms. She isn't sure she will ever forget them. Still, it seems entirely wrong for Curtis to be anything other than a musician. Maybe she will ask him about that when she goes to see him.
"Thanks for the information," Liz says.
"You're welcome," Thandi replies. "But you know, Elizabeth, it isn't right that you don't return a person's call for months and months, and when you finally get it in your head to call, you're only asking about someone else. No apology. Not even a single 'How you doing, Thandi?' "
"I'm sorry, Thandi. How are you?" Liz asks. Despite appearances, Liz does feel guilty that she's ignored Thandi.
"Fine," Thandi answers.
"It hasn't been the best time for me," Liz apologizes.
"You think it's easy for me? You think it's easy for any of us?" Thandi hangs up on Liz.
Liz takes the bus down to the Elsewhere docks. Sure enough, she spots Curtis right away, fishing pole in one hand, cup of coffee in the other. He's wearing a faded red plaid shirt, and his formerly pale skin has a golden hue. His blue hair is almost completely grown out, but his blue eyes remain as vivid as ever. Liz doesn't know if Curtis will remember her. Luckily, he smiles as soon as he sees her.
"Hello, Lizzie," Curtis says. "How's the afterlife treating you?" He pours Liz a cup of coffee from a red thermos. He indicates that she should sit next to him on the dock.
"I wanted to ask you a question," Liz says.
"That sounds serious." Curtis sits up straighter. "I shall do my best to answer you, Lizzie."
"You were honest with me before, back on the boat," Liz says.
"They say a man should always be as honest as he can."
Liz lowers her voice. "I need to make Contact with someone. Can you help me?"
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
Liz is prepared for this question and is armed with several appropriate lies. "I'm not obsessed or anything. I like it here, Curtis. I just have one thing back on Earth that needs taking care of."
"What is it?" Curtis asks.
"It's something about my death." Liz hesitates a moment before telling Curtis the whole story of the hit-and-run cabbie.
After she finishes, Curtis is silent for a moment. Then he says, "I don't know why you thought I would know about this."
"You seem like a person who knows things," says Liz. "Besides, there's no one else I can ask."
Curtis smiles. "I have heard that there are two ways to communicate with the living. One, you can try to find a ship back to Earth, although I doubt this would be a very practical solution for you. It takes a long time to get there and, from what I hear, tends to pervert the reverse-aging process.
Plus, you don't exactly want to be a ghost, now, do you?"
Liz shakes her head, remembering how she contemplated that very thing on the day she arrived in Elsewhere. "What's the second way?"
"I have heard of a place, about a mile out to sea and several miles deep. Apparently, this is the deepest place in the ocean. People call it the Well."
Liz remembers Aldous Ghent mentioning the Well on her first day in Elsewhere. She also remembers him saying that going there was forbidden. "I think I've heard of it," she says.
"Supposedly, if you can reach the bottom of this place, a difficult task indeed, you will find a window where you can penetrate to Earth."
"How is that different from the ODs?" Liz asks.
"The binoculars only go one way. At the Well, they say the living can sense you, see you, hear you."
"Then I can talk to them?"
"Yes, that's what I've heard," says Curtis, "but it will be difficult for them to understand you. Your voice is obscured from being underwater. You need good equipment to make the dive, and even then you should be a good swimmer."
Liz sips her coffee, contemplating what Curtis has told her. She is a strong swimmer. Last summer she and her mother had even gotten scuba certification together on Cape Cod. Could that have only been a year ago? Liz wonders.
"I'm not sure that I've done the right thing in telling you this information, but you probably would have found out from someone else anyway. I'm afraid I've never been very good at knowing the right thing to do. Or at least knowing it and doing it."
"Thank you," Liz says.
"Be careful," Curtis says. He surprises Liz by hugging her. "I must ask you, are you sure you should be doing this? Maybe it would be best to leave well enough alone."
"I have to do this, Curtis. I don't have any choice."
"Lizzie, my love, there's always a choice."
Liz doesn't want to argue with Curtis, especially after he's been so nice to her, but she can't help herself. "I didn't choose to die," she says, "so in that instance, there was no choice."
"No, of course you didn't," Curtis says. "I suppose I meant there's always a choice in situations where one has a choice, if that makes any sense."
"Not really," Liz says.
"Well, I shall have to work on my philosophy and get back to you, Lizzie. I find there's much time for philosophizing when one fishes for a living."
Liz nods. As she walks away from the dock, she realizes she forgot to ask Curtis why he had become a fisherman in the first place.
The Big Dive
Liz throws herself into preparations for the big dive. Although she hadn't noticed at the time, her daily routine at the Observation Decks had become less and less satisfying: each day blending into the one before it, bleary images that seemed to become blearier and blearier, her eyes strained, her back sore. She now experiences the renewed energy of a person with a mission.
Liz's walk is faster. Her heart pumps more strongly. Her appetite increases. She rises early and goes to bed late. For the first time since arriving in Elsewhere, Liz feels almost, well, alive.
Curtis had said the Well was "a mile out to sea," but he hadn't specified exactly where. After two days of eavesdropping at the ODs and indirect questioning of Esther, Liz finds out that the Well is thought to be somehow linked to the lighthouses and the ODs and that, to get there, she needs to swim in the path of one of the lighthouses' beams.
To buy the diving equipment, Liz "borrows" another 750 eternims from Betty.
"What do you need them for?" Betty asks.
"Clothes," Liz lies, although she thinks of her lie as partially true. A wet suit is clothes, right? "If I'm going to look for an avocation, I'm going to need something to wear."
"What happened to the last five hundred I gave you?"
"I still have those," Liz lies again. "I haven't spent them yet, but I think I'll probably need more. I don't have a single thing except for these pajamas and the T-shirt you got me."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Betty offers.
"I'd prefer to go on my own," Liz says.
"I could make you clothes, you know. I am a seamstress," Betty says.
"Mmm, that's a really nice offer, but I think I'd prefer things from the store."
So Betty relents, although she is fairly certain Liz is lying about what happened to the last five hundred eternims. Betty is doing her best to (1) be patient, and (2) provide Liz a space in which to grieve, and (3) wait for Liz to come to her. This is what it says to do in How to Talk to Your Recently Deceased Teen, the book Betty is currently reading. Betty forces a smile. "I'll drop you off at the East Elsewhere Mall," she says.
Liz agrees (the dive store is there anyway) but for obvious reasons says she will take the bus back.
The diving tank Liz buys is smaller and lighter than any tank she and her mother ever had on Earth. It's called an Infinity Tank, and the salesman promises Liz that it will never run out of oxygen. As a nod to Betty, Liz also buys one pair of jeans and one long-
sleeved T-shirt.
Liz hides the equipment underneath her bed. She feels guilty about lying to Betty but deems the lies necessary evils. She had considered telling Betty about the dive but knew that Betty would only worry. She doesn't need Betty worrying any more than she already does.
It has been a year since Liz's last dive on Earth. She wonders if she will have forgotten all the procedures in the intervening time. She considers making a practice dive, but ultimately decides against it. If she is going to do this, she knows she needs to do it now.
Because going to the Well is forbidden, Liz decides to leave just after sunset. She packs her equipment in a large garbage bag and wears her wet suit under her new jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt.
"Is that what you bought today?" Betty asks.
Liz nods.
"It's nice to see you out of your pajamas." Betty moves to get a better look at Liz. "I'm not sure if the fit is right, though." Betty tries to adjust Liz's T-shirt, but Liz pulls away.
"It's fine!" Liz insists.
"Okay, okay. You'll show me the other things you bought in the morning?"
Liz nods, but looks away.
"Where are you going anyway?" Betty asks.
"That girl Thandi is throwing a party," Liz lies.
"Well, have a good time!" Betty smiles at Liz. "What's in the garbage bag, by the way?"
"Just some stuff for the party." Liz finds telling lies easy now that she's started. The only problem (as many before Liz have discovered) is that she has to keep telling more and more of them.
After Liz has left, Betty decides to go into Liz's room to examine Liz's new clothes. She finds the closet empty, but under the bed she finds a cardboard box with the words infinity tank on it.
Remembering Liz's bulky outfit and her big plastic bag, Betty decides to go find her granddaughter. In How to Talk to Your Recently Deceased Teen, it also says that you need to know when to stop giving your teen space.
Before diving, Liz returns to the OD for a final look at Amadou Bonamy. She wants to see him one last time before turning him in.
From behind her glass box, Esther frowns. "You haven't been here in a few days. I was hoping you were quit of this place," she says.
Liz walks past her without answering.
Someone is sitting at Binoculars #15, Liz's usual spot, so she is forced to use #14.
She places a single eternim in the slot and begins to watch Amadou Bonamy. Amadou's cab is vacant, and he's speeding to get somewhere. He parks in front of an elementary school, the same one Liz's brother attends, and runs out of the car. He's walking through the building. He's running through the building. A teacher stands with a small boy wearing glasses at the end of the corridor.
"He threw up in the wastebasket," the teacher says. "He didn't want us to call you."
Amadou gets down on one knee. "Is it your tummy, my little one?" He speaks with a soft FrenchHaitian accent.
The boy nods.
"I'll drive you home, wi bÈbÈ?"
"Don't you have to drive your cab today?" the boy asks.
"Non, non. I will make up the fares tomorrow." Amadou lifts the boy in his arms and winks at the teacher. "Thank you for calling me."
The binoculars click closed.
Liz's heart races. She wants to punch someone or break something. Either way, she needs to get out of the Observation Deck immediately.
Outside, the beach is deserted. She takes off her jeans and T-shirt, but she makes no move to get in the water and begin her dive. She just sits, knees to her chest, and thinks about Amadou and his little boy. And the more she thinks about them, the more confused she feels. And the more she thinks about them, the more she wants to stop thinking about them.
Someone calls her name. "Liz!" It's Betty.
"How did you know I would be here?" Liz asks. She avoids Betty's eyes.
"I didn't. The only place I knew for sure you wouldn't be was a party at Thandi's."
Liz nods.
"That was a joke, by the way." Betty looks at Liz's wet suit. "Actually, I found the empty tank box in your room and I thought you might be planning to make Contact."
"Are you angry?" Liz asks.
"At least I know what you spent the money on," Betty says. "That was another joke, by the way. In this book I'm reading, it says that humor is a good way to cope with a difficult situation."
"What book?" Liz asks.
"It's called How to Talk to Your Recently Deceased Teen."
"Is it helping?"
"Not really." Betty shakes her head. "In all seriousness, Liz, I certainly wish you hadn't lied to me, but I'm not angry. I wish you had come to me, but I know it isn't easy for you right now. You probably have your reasons."
Affected by Betty's words, Liz thinks that Amadou probably had his reasons, too. "I saw the man who was driving the cab. The cab that hit me, I mean," Liz says.
"What was he like?"
"He seemed nice." Liz pauses. "Did you know I was a hit-and-run?"
"Yes," Betty replies.
"Why didn't he stop? I mean, if he's a good person. He seems like one."
"I'm sure he is, Liz. People, you'll find, aren't usually all good or all bad. Sometimes they're a little bit good and a whole lot bad. And sometimes, they're mostly good with a dash of bad. And most of us, well, we fall in the middle somewhere."
Liz starts to cry, and Betty takes Liz in her arms. All at once, Liz knows she won't tell anyone that Amadou was the driver of the lucky cab today or any other day. She knows it won't help anything. She suspects that Amadou is a good person. There must have been a good reason he didn't stop. And even if there wasn't, Liz suddenly remembers something else, something that she had not wanted to remember in all this time.
"Betty," Liz says through tears, "that day at the mall, I didn't look both ways when I was crossing the street. The traffic light had already turned green, but I didn't see it because I was thinking about something else."
"What was it?" Betty asks.
"It's so stupid. I was thinking about my watch, how I should have brought it with me to the mall to be repaired. I kept forgetting to do it. I was deciding whether I had enough time to turn around and go back for it, but I couldn't make up my mind, because I didn't know what time it was because my watch was broken. It was a big, meaningless circle. Oh Betty, this was my fault. This was all my fault, and now I'm stuck here forever!"
"It only seems like forever," Betty says gently. "It's really only fifteen years."
"It won't make me alive again if he goes to prison," Liz whispers. "Nothing can ever do that."
"So you forgive him?"
"I don't know. I want to, but . . ." Liz's voice trails off. She feels empty. Anger and revenge gave her heft. Without her old friends to prop her up, she's only left with a single question: what now? !
"Let's go home," Betty says. Betty picks up the garbage bag with one hand and brushes the sand off Liz's wet suit with the other.
They take the long way back to the house. The summer air is warm, and Liz's wet suit sticks to her skin.
On one lawn, a boy and a girl run through the sprinklers even though it's after dark.
In a porch swing, a very old man, hunched and shriveled, holds hands with a beautiful, young redheaded woman. Liz thinks the old man might be the woman's grandfather until she watches the way the pair kisses. "Te amo," the redheaded woman whispers in the old man's ear. She gazes at the old man as if he's the most beautiful person in the world.
On another lawn, two boys of about the same age play catch with a worn-out baseball. "Should we go in?" the one boy pauses to ask the other.
"No way, Dad," the other boy answers, "let's keep playing."
"Yeah, let's play all night!" the first boy replies.
And so Liz really looks at Betty's street for the first time.
They stop outside Betty's brownstone, which is painted a bold shade of purple. (Strange as it may seem, Liz has never noticed this before.)
The summer air
is thick with perfume from Betty's flowers. The scent, Liz thinks, is sweet and melancholy. A bit like dying, a bit like falling in love.
"I'm not going to the ODs anymore, Betty. I'm going to find an avocation, and when I do, I'll pay you back everything, I promise," Liz says.
Betty looks in Liz's eyes. "I believe you." Betty takes Liz's hand in hers. "And I appreciate that."
"I'm sorry about the money." Liz shakes her head. "All this time, I don't know if you've noticed . . .
The thing is, I think I may have been a little depressed."
"I know, doll," Betty replies, "I know."
"Betty," Liz asks, "why have you put up with me for so long?"
"At first, for Olivia, I suppose," Betty answers after a moment's reflection. "You look so like her."
"No one wants to be liked for who their mother is, you know," Liz says.
"I said, at first."
"So, it wasn't just for Mom's sake, then?"
"Of course not. It was for your own, doll. And mine. Mainly, for mine. I've been lonely for a very long time."
"Since you came to Elsewhere?"
"Longer than that, I'm afraid." Betty sighs. "Did your mother ever tell you why she and I argued?"
"You had an affair," Liz states, "and for a long time, Mom wouldn't forgive you."
"Yes, that's true. I was lonely then, and I've been lonely ever since."
"Have you considered maybe getting another boyfriend?" Liz asks tactfully.
Betty shakes her head and laughs. "I'm through with love, at least of the romantic kind. I've lived too long and seen too much."
"Mom forgave you, you know. I mean, I was named after you, wasn't I?"
"Maybe. I think she just felt sad when I died. And now, I suggest we both go to bed."
************************************
For the first time, Liz sleeps a dreamless sleep. Before, she had always dreamed of Earth.
When she wakes in the morning, Liz calls Aldous Ghent about the position at the Division of Domestic Animals.
Sadie
Your first real job!" Betty crows. "How marvelous, doll! Remind me to take your picture when we get there."