CHAPTER VII.
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringethhis mother to shame."--_Prov_. 29: 15.
Lulu hated suspense; it seemed to her worse than the worst certainty; sowhen they had gone a few steps farther she said, hesitating and blushingvery deeply, "Papa, if you are going to punish me as--as I--said I 'mostwished you would, please don't let Mamma Vi or anybody know it, and--"
"Certainly not; it shall be a secret between our two selves," he said asshe broke off without finishing her sentence; "if we can manage it," headded a little doubtfully.
"They all go down to the beach every evening, you know, papa," shesuggested in a timid, half-hesitating way, and trembling as she spoke.
"Yes, that would give us a chance; but I have not said positively that Iintend to punish you in that way."
"No, sir; but--oh, do please say certainly that you will or you won't."
The look he gave her as she raised her eyes half fearfully to his facewas very kind and affectionate, though grave and judicial. "I am notangry with you," he said, "in the sense of being in a passion or out ofpatience--not in the least; but I feel it to be my duty to do all Ipossibly can to help you to be a better child, and noticing, as I havesaid, for the last two or three days what a wilful, wicked temper youwere indulging, I have been considering very seriously whether I oughtnot to try the very remedy you have yourself suggested, and I am afraidI ought indeed. Do you still think, as you told me a while ago, thatthis sort of punishment might be a help to you in trying to be good?"
Lulu hesitated a moment, then said impetuously, and as if determined toown the truth though it were to pass sentence upon herself, "Yes, papa,honestly I do; though I don't want you to do it one bit. But," sheadded, "I sha'n't love you any less if you whip me ever so hard, becauseI shall know you don't like to do it, and wouldn't except for the reasonyou've given."
"No, indeed, I should not," he said; "but you are to stay behindto-night when the others go to the beach."
"Yes, papa, I will," she answered submissively, but with a perceptibletremble in her voice.
Grace and Max were coming to meet them, so there was no opportunity totalk any more on the subject, and she walked on in silence by herfather's side, trying hard to act and look as if nothing was amiss withher, clinging fast to the hand in which he had taken hers, while Gracetook possession of the other.
"You ought to have three hands, papa," laughed Max a little ruefully.
"Four," corrected Grace; "for some day little Elsie will be wantingone."
"I shall have to manage it by taking you in turn," the captain said,looking down upon them with a fatherly smile.
Violet and some of the other members of their party were still seatedwhere they had left them on the benches under the awning just out ofreach of the waves, and thither the captain and his children bent theirsteps.
Sitting down by his wife's side, he drew Grace to his knee and Luluclose to his other side, keeping an arm round each while chattingpleasantly with his family and friends.
Lulu was very silent, constantly asking herself, and with no littleuneasiness, what he really intended to do with her when, according tohis direction, she should stay behind with him after tea while theothers returned to the beach.
One thing she was determined on--that she would if possible obey theorder without attracting any one's notice. Everybody must have seen howbadly she had been behaving, but the thought of that was not half sogalling to her pride as the danger of suspicion being aroused thatpunishment had been meted out to her on account of it.
Max watched her curiously, and took an opportunity, on their return tothe house, to say privately to her, "I'm glad you've turned over a newleaf, Lu, and begun to behave decently to papa; I've wondered over andover again in the last few days that he didn't take you in hand in a wayto convince you that he wasn't to be trifled with. It's my opinion thatif you'd been a boy you'd have got a trouncing long before this."
"Indeed!" she cried, with an angry toss of her head; "I'm glad I'm not aboy if I couldn't be one without using such vulgar words."
"Oh, that isn't such a very bad word," returned Max, laughing; "but Ican tell you, from sad experience, that the _thing_ is bad enoughsometimes; I'd be quaking in my shoes if I thought papa had any reasonto consider me deserving of one."
"I don't see what you mean by talking so to me," exclaimed Lulu,passionately; "but I think you are a Pharisee--making yourself out somuch better than I am!"
The call to supper interrupted them just there, and perhaps saved themfrom a down-right quarrel.
Lulu had no appetite for the meal, and it seemed to her that the otherswould never have done eating; then that they lingered unusually longabout the house before starting for their accustomed eveningrendezvous--the beach; for she was on thorns all the time.
At last some one made a move, and catching a look from her father whichshe alone saw or understood, she slipped unobserved into her bedroom andwaited there with a fast beating heart.
She heard him say to Violet, "Don't wait for me, my love; I have alittle matter to attend to here, and will follow you in the course ofhalf an hour."
"Anything I can help you with?" Violet asked.
"Oh, no, thank you," he said, "I need no assistance."
"A business letter to write, I presume," she returned laughingly. "Well,don't make it too long, for I grudge every moment of your time."
With that she followed the others, and all was quiet except for thecaptain's measured tread, for he was slowly pacing the room to and fro.
Impatient, impetuous Lulu did not know how to endure the suspense; sheseemed to herself like a criminal awaiting execution. Softly she openedthe door and stepped out in front of her father, stopping him in hiswalk.
"Papa," she said, with pale, trembling lips, looking beseechingly upinto his face, "whatever you are going to do to me, won't you please doit at once and let me have it over?"
He took her hand and, sitting down, drew her to his side, putting hisarm around her.
"My little daughter," he said very gravely, but not unkindly, "myresponsibility in regard to your training weighs very heavily on mymind; it is plain to me that you will make either a very good and usefulwoman, or one who will be a curse to herself and others; for you are tooenergetic and impulsive, too full of strong feeling to be lukewarm andindifferent in anything.
"You are forming your character now for time and for eternity, and Imust do whatever lies in my power to help you to form it aright; forgood and not for evil. You inherit a sinful nature from me, and havevery strong passions which must be conquered or they will prove yourruin. I fear you do not see the great sinfulness of their indulgence,and that it may be that I am partly to blame for that in having passedtoo lightly over such exhibitions of them as have come under my notice:in short, that perhaps if I had been more justly severe with yourfaults you would have been more thoroughly convinced of theirheinousness and striven harder and with greater success to conquer them.
"Therefore, after much thought and deliberation, and much prayer forguidance and direction, I have fully decided that I ought to punish youseverely for the repeated acts of disobedience you have been guilty ofin the last few days, and the constant exhibition of ill-temper.
"It pains me exceedingly to do it, but I must not consider my ownfeelings where my dear child's best interests are concerned."
"Is it because I asked you to do it, papa?" she inquired. "I neverthought you would when I said it."
"No; I have been thinking seriously on the subject ever since youbehaved so badly the day of the 'squantum,' and had very nearly decidedthe question just as I have fully decided it now. I know you are anhonest child, even when the truth is against you; tell me, do you notyourself think that I am right?"
"Yes, sir," she answered, low and tremulously, after a moment's strugglewith herself. "Oh, please do it at once, so it will be over soon!"
"I will," he said, rising and leading her into the in
ner room; "youshall not have the torture of anticipation a moment longer."
Though the punishment was severe beyond Lulu's worst anticipations, shebore it without outcry or entreaty, feeling that she richly deserved it,and determined that no one who might be within hearing should learn fromany sound she uttered what was going on. Tears and now and then ahalf-suppressed sob were the only evidences of suffering that sheallowed herself to give.
Her father was astonished at her fortitude, and more than ever convincedthat she had in her the elements of a noble character.
The punishment over, he took her in his arms, laying her head againsthis breast. Both were silent, her tears falling like rain.
At length, with a heart-broken sob, "You hurt me terribly, papa," shesaid; "I didn't think you would ever want to hurt me so."
"I did not want to," he answered in moved tones; "it was sorely againstmy inclination, I cannot tell you how gladly I should have borne twicethe pain for you if so I could have made you a good girl. I know youhave sometimes troubled yourself with foolish fears that you had lessthan your fair share of my affection; but I have not a child that isnearer or dearer to me than you are, my darling. I love you very much."
"I'm so glad, papa; I 'most wonder you can," she sobbed; "and I loveyou dearly, dearly; I know I've not been acting like it lately, but Ido, and just as much now as before. Oh, papa, you don't know how hard itis for me to be good!"
"I think I do," he said; "for I am naturally quite as bad as you are,having a violent temper, which would most certainly have been my ruinhad I not been forced to learn to control it; indeed I fear it is fromme you get your temper.
"I had a good Christian mother," he went on, "who was very faithful inher efforts to train her children up aright. My fits of passion gave hergreat concern and anxiety. I can see now how troubled and distressed sheused to look.
"Usually she would shut me up in a room by myself until I had had timeto cool down, then come to me, talk very seriously and kindly of thedanger and sinfulness of such indulgence of temper, telling me there wasno knowing what dreadful deed I might some day be led to commit in myfury, if I did not learn to rule my own spirit; and that therefore formy own sake she must punish me to teach me self-control. She would thenchastise me, often quite severely, and leave me to myself again toreflect upon the matter. Thus she finally succeeded in so convincing meof the great guilt and danger of giving rein to my fiery temper and thenecessity of gaining the mastery over it, that I fought hard to do so,and with God's help have, I think, gained the victory.
"It is the remembrance of all this, and how thankful I am to my mothernow for her faithfulness, that has determined me to be equally faithfulto my own dear little daughter, though unfortunately I lack theopportunity for the same constant watchfulness over my children."
"Oh, papa, if you only could be with us all the time!" she sighed. "ButI never thought you had a temper. I've seen some people fly at theirnaughty children in a great passion and beat them hard; I should thinkif you had such a bad temper as you say, you'd have treated me so many atime."
"Very likely I should if your grandmother had not taught me to controlit," he said; "you may thank her that you have as good a father as youhave."
"I think I have the best in the world," she said, putting her arm roundhis neck; "and now that it's all over, papa, I'm glad you did punish mejust so hard; for I don't feel half so mean, because it seems as if Ihave sort of paid for my naughtiness toward you."
"Yes, toward me; the account is settled between us; but remember thatyou cannot so atone for your sin against God; nothing but the blood ofChrist can avail to blot out that account against you, and you must askto be forgiven for His sake alone. We will kneel down and ask it now."
Violet glanced again and again toward the cottages on the bluff,wondering and a trifle impatient at her husband's long delay, but atlength saw him approaching, leading Lulu by the hand.
There was unusual gravity, amounting almost to sternness, in his face,and Lulu's wore a more subdued expression than she had ever seen uponit, while traces of tears were evident upon her cheeks,
"He has been talking very seriously to her in regard to the ill-tempershe has shown during the past few days," Violet said to herself. "Poorwayward child! I hope she will take the lesson to heart, and give himless trouble and anxiety in future."
He kept Lulu close at his side all the evening, and she seemed wellcontent to stay there, her head on his shoulder, his arm around herwaist, while she listened silently to the talk going on around her or tothe booming of the waves upon the beach not many yards away.
When it was time for the children to retire, he took her and Grace tothe house. At the door he bent down and kissed Grace good-night,saying, "I shall not wait to see you in your bed, but shall come in tolook at you before I go to mine."
"May I have a kiss too, papa?" Lulu asked in a wishful, half-tremulousvoice, as though a trifle uncertain whether her request would begranted.
"Yes, my dear little daughter, as many as you wish," he replied, takingher in his arms and bestowing them with hearty good-will and affection.
"I'm sorry--oh, very sorry for all my naughtiness, papa," she whisperedin his ear while clinging about his neck.
"It is all forgiven now," he said, "and I trust will never be repeated."
Lulu was very good, submissive, and obedient during the remainder of herfather's stay among them.
She was greatly distressed when, two weeks later, orders came for him tojoin his ship the following day. She clung to him with devoted,remorseful affection and distress in prospect of the impendingseparation, while he treated her with even more than his wontedkindness, drawing her often caressingly to his knee, and his voicetaking on a very tender tone whenever he spoke to her.
It was in the evening he left them, for he was to drive over toNantucket Town and pass the night there in order to take the early boatleaving for the mainland the next morning.
Mr. Dinsmore went with him, intending to go to Boston for a few days,perhaps on to New York also, then return to Siasconset.
Harold, Herbert, Bob, and Max set out that same evening for theircamping ground; so that Mr. Edward Travilla was the only man of theparty left to take care of the women and children.
However, they would all have felt safe enough in that very quiet spot,or anywhere on the island, without any such protection.
Lulu went to bed that night full of remorseful regret that through herown wilfulness she had lost many hours of her father's prized society,besides grieving and displeasing him.
Oh, if she could but go back and live the last few weeks over, howdifferently she would behave! She would not give him the least cause tobe displeased with or troubled about her.
As often before, she felt a great disgust at herself, and a longingdesire to be good and gentle like Gracie, who never seemed to have theslightest inclination to be quick-tempered or rebellious.
"She's so sweet and dear!" murmured Lulu half aloud, and reaching out ahand to softly touch the little sister sleeping quietly by her side; "Ishould think papa would love her ten times better than me; but he sayshe doesn't, and he always tells the truth. I wish I'd been made likeGracie; but I'm ever so glad he can love me in spite of all my badness.Oh, I am determined to be good the next time he's at home, so that hewill enjoy his visit more. It was a burning shame in me to spoil thisone so; I'd like to beat you for it, Lulu Raymond, and I'm glad hedidn't let you escape."
Violet and her mother were passing the night together, and lying side byside talked to each other in loving confidence of such things as laynearest their hearts. Naturally Vi's thoughts were full of the husbandfrom whom she had just parted--for how long?--it might be months oryears.
"Mamma," she said, "the more I am with him and study his character, themore I honor and trust and love him. It is the one trial of my otherwiseexceptionally happy life, that we must pass so much of our time apart,and that he has such a child as Lulu to mar his enjoyment of--"
&
nbsp; "Oh, dear daughter," interrupted Elsie, "do not allow yourself to feelotherwise than very kindly toward your husband's child; Lulu has somevery noble traits, and I trust you will try to think of them rather thanof her faults, serious as they may seem to you."
"Yes, mamma, there are some things about her that are very lovable, andI really have a strong affection for her, even aside from the fact thatshe is his child; yet when she behaves in a way that distresses him Ican hardly help wishing that she belonged to some one else.
"You surely must have noticed how badly she behaved for two or threedays. He never spoke to me about it, tried not to let me see that itinterfered with his enjoyment (for he knew that that would spoil mine),but for all that I knew his heart was often heavy over her misconduct.
"Yet she certainly does love her father. How she clung to him after shehad heard that he must leave us so soon, with a remorseful affection, itseemed to me."
"Yes, and though she shed but few tears in parting from him, I could seethat she was almost heart-broken. She is a strange child, but if shetakes the right turn, will assuredly make a noble, useful woman."
"I hope so, mamma; and that will, I know, repay him for all his care andanxiety on her account. No father could be fonder of his children ormore willing to do or endure anything for their sake. Of course I do notmean anything wrong; he would not do wrong himself or suffer wrong-doingin them; for his greatest desire is to see them truly good, realChristians. I hope my darling, as she grows older, will be altogether acomfort and blessing to him."
"As her mother has been to me, and always was to her father," Elsieresponded in loving tones.
"Thank you, mamma," Violet said with emotion; "oh, if I had been anundutiful daughter and given pain and anxiety to my best of fathers, howmy heart would ache at the remembrance, now that he is gone. And I feeldeep pity for Lulu when I think what sorrow she is preparing for herselfin case she outlives her father, as in the course of nature she islikely to do."
"Yes, poor child!" sighed Elsie; "and doubtless she is even now enduringthe reproaches of conscience aggravated by the fear that she may not seeher father very soon again.
"She and Gracie, to say nothing of my dear Vi, will be feeling lonelyto-morrow, and Edward, Zoe, and I have planned various littleexcursions, by land and water, to give occupation to your thoughts andpleasantly while away the time."
"You are always so kind, dearest mamma," said Violet; "always thinkingof others and planning for their enjoyment."
"Oh, how lonely it does seem without papa! our dear, dear papa!" wasGracie's waking exclamation. "I wish he could live at home all the timelike other children's fathers do! When will he come again, Lulu?"
"I don't know, Gracie; I don't believe anybody knows," returned Lulusorrowfully. "But you have no occasion to feel half as badly about it asI."
"Why not?" cried Grace, a little indignantly, even her gentle naturearoused at the apparent insinuation that he was more to Lulu than toherself; "you don't love him a bit better than I do."
"Maybe not; but Mamma Vi is more to you than she is to me; though thatwasn't what I was thinking of. I was only thinking that you had been agood child to him all the time he has been at home, while I was so very,very naughty that--"
Lulu broke off suddenly and went on with, her dressing in silence.
"That what?" asked Grace.
"That I grieved him very much and spoiled half his pleasure," Lulu saidin a choking voice. Then turning suddenly toward her sister, her faceflushing hotly, her eyes full of tears, bitterly ashamed of what she wasmoved to tell, yet with a heart aching so for sympathy that she hardlyknew how to keep it back, "Gracie, if I tell you something will younever, _never, never_ breathe a single word of it to a living soul?"
Grace, who was seated on the floor putting on her shoes and stockings,looked up at her sister in silent astonishment.
"Come, answer," exclaimed Lulu impetuously; "do you promise? I know ifyou make a promise you'll keep it. But I won't tell you without, for Iwouldn't have Mamma Vi, or Max, or anybody else but you know, for allthe world."
"Not papa?"
"Oh, Gracie, papa knows; it's a secret between him and me--only--only Ihave a right to tell you if I choose."
"I'm glad he knows, because I couldn't promise not to tell him if heasked me and said I must. Yes, I promise, Lulu. What is it?"
Lulu had finished her dressing, and dropping down on the carpet besideGrace she began, half averting her face and speaking in low, hurriedtones. "You remember that morning we were all going to the 'squantum' Ichanged my dress and put on a white one, and because of that, andsomething I said to Max that papa overheard, he said I must stay athome; and he ordered me to take off that dress immediately. Well, Idisobeyed him; I walked round the town in the dress before I took itoff, and instead of staying at home I went in to bathe, and took a walkin the afternoon with Betty Johnson to Sankaty Lighthouse, and went upin the tower and outside too."
"Oh, Lulu!" cried Grace, "how could you dare to do so?"
"I did, anyway," said Lulu; "and you know I was very ill-tempered fortwo days afterward; so when papa knew it all he thought he ought topunish me, and he did."
"How?"
"Oh, Grace! don't you know? can't you guess? It was when he and I stayedback while all the rest went to the beach, that evening after Betty'sfriend told of seeing me at Sankaty."
Grace drew a long breath. "Oh, Lu," she said pityingly, putting her armslovingly about her sister, "I'm so sorry for you! How could you bear it?Did he hurt you very much?"
"Oh, yes, terribly; but I'm glad he did it (though I wouldn't foranything let anybody know it but you), because I'd feel so mean if Ihadn't paid somehow for my badness. Papa was so good and kind to me--healways is--and I had been behaving so hatefully to him.
"And he wasn't in a bit of a passion with me. I believe, as he told me,he did hate to punish me, and only did it to help me to learn to conquermy temper."
"And to be obedient, too?"
"Yes; the punishment was for that too, he said. But now don't you thinkI have reason to feel worse about his going away just now than you?"
"Yes," admitted Grace; "I'd feel ever so badly if I'd done anything tomake dear papa sad and troubled; and I think I should be frightened todeath if he was going to whip me."
"No, you wouldn't," said Lulu, "for you would know papa wouldn't hurtyou any more than he thought necessary for your own good. Now let mehelp you dress, for it must be near breakfast time."
"Oh, thank you; yes, I'll have to hurry. Do you love papa as well asever, Lu?"
"Better," returned Lulu, emphatically; "it seems odd, but I do. Ishouldn't though if I thought he took pleasure in beating me, orpunishing me in any way."
"I don't b'lieve he likes to punish any of us," said Grace.
"I _know_ he doesn't," said Lulu. "And it isn't any odder that I shouldlove him in spite of his punishments, than that he should love me inspite of all my naughtiness. Yes, I do think, Gracie, we have the bestfather in the world."
"'Course we have," responded Grace; "but then we don't have him half thetime; he's 'most always on his ship," she added tearfully.
"Are you ready for breakfast, dears?" asked a sweet voice at the door.
"Yes, Grandma Elsie," they answered, hastening to claim the good-morningkiss she was always ready to bestow.
Lulu's heartache had found some relief in her confidence to her sister,and she showed a pleasanter and more cheerful face at the table thanViolet expected to see her wear.
It grew brighter still when she learned that they were all to have along, delightful drive over the hills and moors, starting almostimmediately upon the conclusion of the meal.
The weather was charming, everybody in most amiable mood, and spite ofthe pain of the recent parting from him whom they so dearly loved, thatwould occasionally make itself felt in the hearts of wife and children,the little trip was an enjoyable one to all.
Just as they drew up at the cottage door on their return
, a blast ofCaptain Baxter's tin horn announced his arrival with the mail, andEdward, waiting only to assist the ladies and children to alight,hurried off to learn if they had any interest in the contents of themailbag.