Flashbacks started then. Guilt came then. Drake’s image was everywhere. Me in his arms, me reaching to pull him to my lips. I was laughing. Lost in the moment and not caring what was ahead. The guilt clogged my throat.
I kept seeing that mare in my mind, how she ran the other way when life was waiting just across a few feet of shallow water. I wasn’t going to make that mistake.
As I ran through the images, I heard Drake’s voice: “You laugh, Love, but I’m serious. You are holding back. Let me see that soul. Show me the real you.” I felt myself smile on the inside. I had never given him what was Landen’s, he’d never given me what was Madison’s. We were lovers in the moment. Not eternal.
As soon as I ran through those images, other past lives came to me. I saw death. A lot of death. I saw endless sacrifices, ones that no one deserved to endure. Once they were gone, I saw myself old and gray in the arms that could only belong to Landen. He was standing behind me as we stared at the sunset. He whispered something into my ear, and as he did my eyes flashed from a light green to a sparkling blue. I ran faster, knowing for sure that I had never given it all to him. I had held back, fought my own wars, and that was unfair. We were one. They were his wars, too.
The past few months started to fly by, just as wicked as they had been for me over the past few days. I felt them as I should have, with a mix of fear, anger, and adrenaline. I felt balance. Justifiable.
I ran harder, but then the images faded, the wind picked up, and the pain in my chest burned in agony. I realized I was hundreds of feet in the air. I hated heights. I really did.
I had no idea where I was going, but the only way this walkway would work was if I moved forward; the path behind me was just as vacant as the images that I could not undo.
Then I saw something.
Amidst the blinding blue water and deep purple sky, I saw a strong silhouette emerging in the distance. I could see his long, tan arms reflecting off his white shirt and pants, his dark hair, and those eyes…I was nearly paralyzed at how blue they were.
~Landen~
The images of a past I would live over just so I could do it right this time faded, the wind picked up, the dark purple sky grew darker, and I could swear that there was a ball of flames behind it. I felt the fire, the burn, but I was moving forward.
I felt her. Her emotions were all over the place, but no sooner than she felt regret did she find hope and desire. I could only assume she was fighting her own images. We were both in judgment, and I could only hope she was stronger than I was, that she did find a way to run.
Right then, I saw the bluest eyes in creation emerging from the distance. Her long, dark hair was whipping behind her in the air. The sleek black gown fell just below her knees, amplifying her soft, tan skin.
I swallowed, wanting to taste her skin, her kiss. The pain didn’t even matter anymore. I’d found a new focus, a focus that could hinder any dark moment with a glance.
I wanted to run to her, but I could swear gravity itself was in front of me, forcing me to a slow, calculated walk.
More images came. Images that made my heart thunder with desire. I saw every time I had pulled her into my arms. Every kiss, every whispered promise. Millions upon millions of images of us in our most intimate moments through the millennia exploded across the sky.
She was right before. We had lived more than one lifetime of bliss; we had lived an infinity in each other’s arms, which only made me crave her more.
Her stare was wide as I moved closer. An innocent smile lingered on her lips; the air was saturated with her lavender scent, with the raw power of her soul.
Agonizing minutes later, I reached her and wrapped my arms around her waist as I lifted her in the air.
“I love you,” I breathed.
“You are forever mine,” she said as her arms braced my shoulders.
I leaned back as I looked into her eyes. I was mesmerized. “You heard me,” I said with a smile as my lips lost their willpower and found hers, going deep fast. I had to pull her closer. As our chests met, that burning pain hesitated, yet raged on. The wind picked up, and I braced my arms around her as we broke our kiss.
She clutched my body as those angelic eyes looked all around. Our walkway was vanishing, and the sky was turning orange and swirling.
“We have to jump,” I said to her.
Fear spiked, but she swallowed it and found determination.
“I’ve got you. I’m not letting go,” I said as I pulled her body up and wrapped it around mine.
I only managed to jump half a second before that thin glass walkway vanished.
We were falling through the air as fast as light. The fire sky reached down as waves of the blue water reached up.
She pulled me from my focus on our landing and latched those addictive lips onto mine. It was a great plan. If I was going to die, I wanted to die with her body wrapped around mine and my lips on hers.
I never felt the water. I never felt the fire. I felt the wind, a wicked wind that sliced into my skin. I held our kiss but covered as much of her body with mine as I could.
I would swear that we were in the eye of a hurricane. It was that loud. That fast. My flesh was vanishing, I would swear to it.
That dagger in my chest throbbed as the mark on her chest pulsed against my body.
I felt a pain that topped all pains ever created, a ripping sensation, but it was over as soon as it came.
Water. That was next. We fell into water. But it was not raging water; it was calm and cool, just like the water we had jumped into when I took her to my getaway.
It was healing us. I felt it washing away the sting and burn on my flesh. I felt it wash away the past.
I became insane at that point. I saw my life. I saw Willow’s through her eyes. Every moment was flashing before my mind. I admit it, I was enraged when Drake’s image surfaced; I ran from those thoughts in her mind and found others. It was all there. I saw it all. I felt it all. And just like that, it was gone.
~Willow~
I couldn’t comprehend what was happening to us, and I didn’t want to. I wanted to feel him, all of him. I didn’t even tense when I felt the water surround us. He was my air. All that I needed. But then I found a reason to feel every evil emotion known to man. I saw his mind. All of it.
I saw Skylynn reaching for him. I rushed away from those thoughts, finding more moments I didn’t know about. I saw how brave he was, how selfless he was. I saw him fight for equality. For everyone to have balance. I saw him fight for me. For this.
We should have been out of air long ago. I realize that, but we weren’t; the water started to spin around us as the painful wind had before. And I don’t know why, but at that moment I felt as if my body were no more. As if I were soul and soul alone.
I didn’t know if that was fact or fiction, but I let myself take it as fact and slid my soul into his.
Time stopped. It had to. I found utter bliss. I felt cold, hot, felt waves of joy pulsing through my body. It was as if the times we had done this before were just practice. We were near the edge of the pool, and now we were swimming the depths of our souls, letting everything dark and twisted fall away to the abyss. Our war didn’t matter then. We were everything and nothing all at once. We were bigger than petty arguments. Bigger than evil, death.
Light and dark had joined in one soul. Perfectly. The soul we shared.
~Landen~
I could feel every part of her. Inside me, all around—even though the sensation of flesh was gone. I kissed her. Her lips, her neck, her shoulder, every inch of flesh my lips could find. I was drunk on her essence; nothing could satisfy the burning hunger I felt for this woman.
I had no gauge on time, but if I had to guess, I would have told you I held her for a lifetime. Just like that. Soul to soul.
I wanted to see her eyes. I wanted to see the blue that I had searched for. Against my better judgment, I opened my eyes to see her beneath me. Her long hair waved across silk, ivory sheets
. I didn’t even question where we were. I reached up and cradled her beautiful face in my hand and smiled at her. Her skin was blushed, full of life; everything about her was radiant.
“I love you,” I breathed.
A gaping smile left her body as she reached to hold my face. “I have always loved you, only you. Only this way.”
My heart thundered in my chest, and she glanced there as if she could feel it. I felt her hand on my chest, a tingling sensation under her touch.
“Does it hurt?” she whispered.
“Not anymore,” I answered honestly as my lips fell to her mark. “Yours?” I thought as she bowed her back and let out a deep breath.
“No.”
“This is new,” she said as her hands landed on my arms, which were caging her in. I glanced to my arm to see dark flames embedded in my skin, right where I had felt the burns before. It was the most eccentric mark I’d ever seen. The way they waved over my skin, the pattern seemed calculated, as if it meant something I could not comprehend right now, or even cared to. A ray of sun flashed across the room, and something shining caught my eye. Thinking it was her mark, I glanced back to her. Not only was the flower on her chest gleaming, but so were flames across her arms. Where mine had seared dark into my skin, hers looked like a dusting of jewels, peeking out from her silky, dark skin.
I reached to touch them, and as I did I felt her skin hum under my skin. A beautiful glow was left in the wake of each stroke of my fingers. A gaping smile spread across my face as I heard a low moan in her throat.
“Yours feels that way, too,” she whispered, reaching for my face.
I felt yet another weight leave me. I was furious when Perodine told me that Drake brought a hum to Willow’s skin, even though she swore to me it was enforced.
When I became a Phoenix, I knew that the vibration of fire in my soul would surely trump whatever sensation Drake could have given her, but I was cocky about that. It was one-sided.
True soul mates, true Flames, each make the other feel that sensation, and only they can bring it to them. I only knew that because my big brother knew I was aching when Willow was taken from me. He gave me that lesson. At the time, I didn’t see it that way. I saw it as further proof that I was not what he thought I was.
“I don’t really care. But where are we?” she asked as she caressed the side of my face, making me feel light as a feather—as if I owned the world.
“Would it be cheesy to say locked in my mind, where we are going to stay forever?”
She laughed, I mean, really laughed. A good, gut-busting belly laugh that was beyond music to my ears and soul. It was as if the barriers of stress had been broken from her soul. I wanted to hear more. Her laugh was my new favorite addiction. I let my fingers trace her rib cage, feeling her try to jolt out of the enclosure of my arms. She was laughing so hard that I started to.
It was a tickling war at that point. Game on. We didn’t stop until our sides hurt. Until tears were at the edges of her eyes. She let out a sigh as her laugh settled, then reached to trace my jaw as I gazed into those eyes that were so beautiful they stole your breath.
“I’d love to believe you, Mr. Chambers, but unless you have a few million people in your mind, I don’t think we are alone.”
My brow shot up as my eyes questioned her. She had brought me into focus, and she was right. I felt that many people not far from us, not to mention my warriors. Reality was closing in on us.
“Your insights are back?” I asked under my breath.
She nodded her head against the satin sheets.
“Are you okay? In pain?” I asked, reaching for her stomach.
“You balance me,” she said as her hand landed on mine.
“You’re sure?”
She smiled. “My soul is in charge now. I’m sure my ego will rear up a few times, but I have the reins.”
“Odd symbolism,” I said with a shy smile.
“I met Mark Twain. He gave me a few tips.”
Now I was worried. I thought she was losing her grip on sanity.
“I’ll show you,” she said as she stared into my eyes. Right then, without a forced touch or thought, I was in her mind, watching the lessons she had learned.
That was no man. I was sure of it. It was a higher power.
“I should have figured that out as soon as he spoke of Donalt as a wayward son.”
“You heard that thought?” I asked in disbelief.
“I saw it in my mind.”
“Do you hear everything?”
She moved her from head side to side. “I sense you on every level, but I think you have to open that channel to me. There are barriers in your mind, some I never want to cross.” As she said that, I saw Skylynn’s lavender hair flash in her mind. “Some I think you have in place to protect me. I’m okay with that for right now. I trust you to keep me safe.”
“I don’t think Drake or Skylynn’s names belong...” I glanced at the silk sheets we were on, “in our bed, but I know they will be with us, with the ones that they love, for a very long time.”
“I saw what you did for Aden. I saw Rasp.”
“This is going to take some getting used to,” I said as I raised my brow at her.
“We have infinite time to figure that out.”
I knew what she meant. She felt, as I did, that we had crossed some threshold, some barrier, and our flesh was no more. I didn’t know what we were, but I knew we were born again as one.
A breeze picked up, causing us both to glance to our side. Folded neatly on the floor were the clothes that neither one of us took off each other but had managed to shed.
“Maybe we should explore,” I murmured, taking in the room that was solid white and framed in gold, the fresh cut flowers in a crystal vase sitting on a mahogany table at the foot of our bed.
Chapter Twenty
~ Landen ~
Even though the gravity of life was crashing down on me, I felt like I could take on the world. I literally felt the strength in every one of my muscles as I moved them.
I hated to see that dark dress cover her body, but we were both rippled with curiosity. We had no idea how we went from a hurricane to here, if any of that was real or an illusion. The last stable memory either of us had in reality was me being taken by Skylynn and her seeing that.
I could sense my warriors. They were on edge, but not in any sort of lethal mode, leading me to question where we were on this time scale. As I buttoned my shirt, I closed my eyes. I sensed the other three, Phoenix, Draven, and Drake. They were alive, and I would say calm, even though I felt an edge in them. It was the same edge I felt, the one that was asking that gnawing question: ‘What’s next?’
I took my Flame’s hand and led her out of the room we were in, only finding a vast hallway that led to more floors, more vast rooms. The entire place was steeped in royalty. The air was regal, yet it was all so new at the same time.
There were paintings on the wall, some with just an array of colors, others with scenes from every mythology I’d ever studied. I was looking for a way out, a doorway so we could see where this was. I knew it couldn’t be far from the Radiance. I could feel the same magic current it carried in the air.
As I began to lead her down another hallway, we both stopped short. These walls were lined with art, too, but it was Willow’s art. I would know her paint stroke anywhere. They were not the dark images I’d seen recently, but beautiful images of souls she’d helped across her young life.
“Oh my God,” she breathed. “How?”
I couldn’t explain how or why. I was reading her right then, and her mind told me that most of these had burned when her home did. Some had never even left the sketchpad. Others had been sold, but none of them was as large as the canvas before us. She wasn’t afraid. She would have been if this were only a few days ago. She was in awe. She even whispered a Thank you in her thoughts as she held the image of Mark Twain.
We walked down that hall slowly, and she told me, with
her thoughts, the story behind each image. She was letting me in, deeper and deeper, letting me see all those thoughts I was only given a glimpse of with her words.
That walk stilled time. It was a long while before we remembered we were looking for a door, and it was only the anxious emotions of masses of people that made us recognize the gravity of reality once again.
A few hallways later, we found wide doors that opened into a massive ballroom. The back wall was windows, hundreds of feet in the air. The lavender sky of Radiance was highlighting the dark wood floors. I led her there, feeling my heart thunder. I had no idea where this building had come from, but I knew it was too massive to be in Radiance and unseen by me.
I had a horrid fear this was a dream, that I was about to wake up in that cold, damp passageway and take my last breath.
She put her arm around my waist, pulling me closer. “Not a dream, Sovereign.”
I looked down into those blues eyes, questioning if she could be any more perfect.
The doors before us flew open with a gust of wind, and we stepped forward, finding ourselves on a balcony. Millions and millions of people were below. Floating gleams of light were dangling in the air. Bleeding hearts, the petals of them red with white daggers, were raining down on the people who roared when they saw us emerge.
Both of our hearts were thundering as we took in the sheer magnitude of all of them.
I looked all around, trying to find my bearings. We were standing on what should have been a massive body of water. We were standing in a palace, one that could hold the entire town I grew up in, and then some.
“I don’t know what to say to them,” I said under my breath.