I clicked through the files, not finding what I was wanting and still not sure what I was looking for.
A few phone conversations popped up. I clicked on the text and read.
Petrov: Two heads are better than one.
Agency: Infiltrate, and two members go free.
Petrov: Infiltrate the family?
Agency: By way of the sister — figure out a way in. Marry her, kill her, do what you need to do, but we need control of at least one of the arms.
Petrov: Rumor has it Nicolasi named a new boss.
Agency: So kill him, throw a wrench in their plans. We need in, by any means necessary.
Petrov: I do this, and they go free.
Agency: You do this, and the US Government helps you disappear.
Petrov: Deal.
I read over the script a few more times, my stomach plummeting. So that was his plan? Kill Phoenix? Or hurt Bee? Either way, it would be traced back to Petrov, not the feds. He was just a means to an end.
My stomach kept clenching into together knots as realization dawned…
“We’ll find a way in, Sergio. It’s just a matter of time.” He clicked his tongue and sucked harder on the cigar. “So, you either offer us the information we need, or we take it by force.”
“You take it by force. You start a war, you won’t win,” I said in a confident voice.
“You’re good at what you do, Sergio, you really are. But I’m starting to wonder if you’re usefulness has come to an end.”
“What? So you simply kill me? Make it look like an accident?”
“Gentlemen.” The booming voice was the only thing keeping me from launching myself across the table and beating the shit out of him. “Let’s keep things friendly.”
I rolled my eyes.
The voice was coming from my superior, someone I’d never seen before in person. The conference call was supposed to be a debriefing.
“Gentlemen.” The voice coughed. “It seems we are at an impasse. Sergio, you are no longer needed. Stay in hiding until you’re activated again, and stay out of our business. We’ll find a way in without you.”
“But—”
“Sergio.” The man sighed into the speaker, the whoosh of air sounding like static over the phone. “You’ve done us proud, son, you really have, but you know, when it comes down to it, we can’t ask you to betray your own blood.”
“But I’d do it…” I choked. “You know I would. For you. I would.”
“I wouldn’t ask it of you. You are nameless, faceless, nothing to us, officially deactivated immediately.”
I rubbed my face with my hands. Could this be the way in? My fault from the beginning? Regardless, I needed to call Phoenix. The last thing we wanted was Bee alone with Pike. He’d stop at nothing to use her to his advantage, and I knew that Tex would rather start a war with the entire country than see his sister hurt.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
The heart doesn’t know what it’s missing until it’s too late.
Phoenix
“WHAT?” I BARKED INTO the phone while my eyes frantically searched the area for Bee. She was supposed to meet me after class, and I’d already warned her not to wander off with friends. It was one of our rules: Always stay put until I find you, and then I’ll take you home. No other option.
Sergio cursed on the other end. “I think… Pike’s going to come after you.”
“No shit.” I rolled my eyes. Where the hell was she?
“I think he’s going to use Bee.”
“Sergio, no offense, but cut the shit. I’m currently searching for the lost princess, and I don’t have time for your theories right now.”
“You can’t find her?”
“No.” I started walking toward the student center. “It’s like she just disappeared or something. Damn that girl. She’s probably with Andi, who, by the way, I’m not entirely sure is a good influence on her.”
“Did you check the bathrooms?”
“Yes.” I grit my teeth. All ten of them.
“What about her tracking device?”
I stopped walking. “Do you think her missing has something to do with Pike? What aren’t you telling me right now?”
A vision of Sergio’s black folder rushed to the surface of my memory. I hadn’t looked at it. Luca had left specific instructions to look at the folders only if absolutely necessary.
“Look, don’t panic, everything’s probably fine, but it looks like Pike really is working for the feds and… they want in… into the family, by any means possible.”
“Well, that’s stupid. We don’t let outsiders in.”
“I never said anything about letting them do shit… but by force? Negotiations? They can do whatever the hell they want.”
“Fine, I’ll check the tracking device. Hold on.” I turned on the app and glanced at the screen, waiting for it to load.
Her red dot was nowhere near campus.
It was moving… directly out of town.
“Shit!” I roared into the phone. “Call Tex. Now.”
“What happened? Where is she?”
“Tell him I’ve got this… don’t send anyone. It could be a trap, alright? Just tell him… to stay put.”
“Right.” Sergio swore. “That sounds like a great plan.”
“Do it.”
I hung up the phone and ran toward my car, nearly dropping my phone when I typed in her coordinates.
Blood surged through my body as I hit the accelerator and sped off campus.
I fought to keep the monster in.
I tried everything from deepening my breathing to focusing on the positive, on the good. I’d find Bee, and I’d save her.
But what if I couldn’t?
What if she was hurt?
What if?
My heart twisted in my chest. Could I really live without her? Did I want to? My thoughts haunted me the entire drive to my destination.
When the beeping stopped, it was in front of an old building right next to the lake.
Petrov Enterprises.
The building was worn down. Paint was chipping off the sides, and what used to be an incredible empire now looked like something from the Great Depression.
I got out of my car, pulled my gun, and crept with caution toward the door.
When no gunshots rang out, I pushed it open.
And came face to face with Nick, my right hand man, the man I trusted, the man Luca had trusted.
“What the—?”
His gun was at my temple before I could finish my sentence. Without saying a word, he smirked and pushed me forward into the darkness.
“Wow, some cavalry,” Pike said, stepping into the light. “Tell me, was your plan to just shoot whoever came at you first then search in vain for Bee?”
“If you hurt her, I will kill you,” I spat.
“Please, like I’d hurt someone so pretty,” Petrov scoffed then snapped his fingers.
Bee was brought forward into the light, and she was dressed like a whore.
A red corset that looked too tight for her body was wrapped around her middle, cutting into the tender skin of her breasts as they ballooned above the garment. Black lace underwear peaked from beneath it; black garters attached to sheer stockings. Tall, shiny black boots with spike heels completed the ensemble. Her mouth was bound with masking tape, and a pair of ruby red lips had been drawn across the tape.
Her eyes were blurred with tears as she tried to cover herself. But her hands were tied in front of her, and her gesture was useless.
“Now it’s a party.” Pike chuckled. “Alright, let’s get down to business.” He pulled out a nearby chair and sat. “I give you Bee, the Cappo’s sister, who we all know you’re secretly in love with, and you turn over the Nicolasi family to me.”
I swallowed a snort. “You want me to hand over a multimillion-dollar organization… to you? A twenty-year-old kid? For what purpose? Daddy ran out of money?”
Pike tilted his head. “My employer
thinks it would be… prudent to know the inner workings of the family. But with you in the way… it’s… difficult.”
“And Nick?” I turned to glare at the man I’d named my right hand. “What about him?”
“He works for me.” Pike puffed up his chest. “And my employer. He’s been in deep with Nicolasi going on five years.”
“Too bad we don’t give out trophies,” I said through clenched teeth.
“What do you think yours would say?” Pike taunted. “Son of a murdered boss, unloved by everyone he comes into contact with? Murderer? Thief? Rapist? My, my, I don’t think all those words will fit in such a tiny space.”
“So what? This is your plan then? This is all you have?” I spread out my arms and turned around in a circle. “Kid, you have another think coming if you think I’m going to bend to your demands just because you dress up the Cappo’s sister like a whore.”
Bee flinched.
I ignored it. I had to.
“You mean, you don’t care about her?”
“How can a dog care about its fleas? They’re a nuisance, nothing more.”
“Hmm.” Pike stood. “You’re good at lying, Phoenix, always have been, but I know something you don’t know.”
I pretended to look bored when really my heart was racing so hard I thought he would hear it.
“Shrinks found you fascinating, and I have to admit… I do too. The case studies about your psyche…” He shuddered. “It wasn’t at all hard to find that information. You know, you really should have Sergio do a better job. Tell me, do you still black out and then forget what you’ve done? Do you still have that monster inside of you?”
I clenched my hands into tight balls.
He grinned then walked over to Bee and pulled out a knife. “Does the violence still set you off, Phoenix? Does it make you… want?”
With a chuckle, he sliced part of Bee’s garter, causing it to fall over her boot, then he sliced the other.
The knife hovered around the strings tying her underwear to her body.
“Sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear. “I think it’s time to unleash the beast. After all, once he starts, he won’t stop, and we can’t have someone that unstable leading the Nicolasi family.”
My breaths came out in gasps as the room faded around me. I tried to focus in on Bee and nothing else.
“Now…” Pike motioned to Nick. “…eventually, you’ll snap, and all Nick needs to do is show it to the rest of the family. You do realize that the Nicolasis have been without stain for over forty years? Most of them don’t trust you. The other half are afraid of you. Imagine the response the elders will have when they see your deranged behavior.” He chuckled and pointed up. “Cameras, everywhere… Have fun, kids.”
I was still trying to figure out what the hell he was doing, when the lights turned off then flashed back on.
Screams.
That was the first thing I heard.
Then I heard my father’s voice. “Do it son. Just do it. You must do the hard thing.”
“No!” I begged. “I can’t. Please don’t make me.”
“Do it! Or I will!”
My father was three times her age. Just the thought had made me want to vomit.
The girl’s soft cries played in the background.
And then to my utter horror, the wall lit up with pictures.
Of every single girl I’d ever raped.
Every girl I’d hurt.
With an ugly red number next to it.
One hundred and seventy-five.
I’d never counted.
Always suspected.
I fell to my knees as the screams got louder.
My eyes locked with Bee.
And I heard a faint whisper from Pike as the door closed behind him. “Now you see him for what he really is. See if he spares you, the way he didn’t spare them.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
He was broken, maybe too broken to fix.
Bee
I’D NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE concept of breaking someone — until I saw Phoenix on his hands and knees and then in the fetal position.
I wasn’t sure if going to him would help or if I should just remain standing under the blinking light. The screams seemed to get louder and louder, each of them female.
My lower lip trembled as tears poured down my face… tears for them and then tears for him, their tormentor, a man absolutely broken, a man torn, a man who was clearly not in his right mind and could potentially return to that state so easily.
He’d warned me.
He’d told me over and over again what kind of monster he was.
And I’d refused to listen.
I wasn’t going to listen now.
Even when I had proof. Even when I saw the numbers, the pictures. I couldn’t allow myself to believe he was the same person; for some reason it felt like if I did, all would be lost.
Including the last of what made Phoenix human.
He whimpered and then slowly lifted his head. His eyes locked with mine. I offered a sad smile.
He didn’t return it.
A heaviness blanketed the room. I shivered. He didn’t blink, not once, just continued to stare at me.
I licked my lips.
He groaned.
“Ph-phoenix?”
His eyes squeezed shut. “Please…”
“Please? What do you need, Phoenix? Anything, just tell me.” It wasn’t lost on me that I was the one in the awful position, wearing basically nothing, defenseless, yet he felt more like a victim than I did. In that moment, I may as well have been wearing armor for how vulnerable Phoenix looked on his knees, as if the agony of taking his next breath was too much to contemplate.
My hands were still tied together. I frantically looked around for something sharp so I could cut the masking tape. In the frenzy, I didn’t see Phoenix approach me until it was too late.
One minute he was on his knees — the next he was in front of me.
Eyes black, expression grim.
He shoved his gun into my clasped hands.
I staggered back. “Phoenix?”
“Please,” he whispered, pushing the cold gun harder into my flesh. “Just do it.”
I dropped the gun onto the ground, but he picked it up and forced it back into my hands. My wrists were tied together, making it awkward to hang onto anything.
He stepped into the gun and held me tight against him. “Pull.”
“No!” I tried to drop the gun, but his hold was too strong. “Phoenix, stop!”
“Bee…” Tears filled his eyes. “I thought I could… I thought I could, but I can’t… I just can’t. Please, please…” Tears dripped down his face onto his full lips. “…please, I can’t live like this, with this in my head.” He started to full on sob. “I’m broken, can’t you see? I’m broken, Bee, so fix me! Just fix me!” His forehead touched mine as he pulled the gun harder against his stomach.
“I can’t… I can’t do what you’re asking me to do.”
“You’re better off,” he said hoarsely. “Everyone is, I shouldn’t be alive… he should be alive. Luca should be here, not me. I don’t deserve it. Look around you, Bee! This is my legacy!” He stumbled back and turned in a circle, lifting his hands into the air. His legs shook, like any second he was going to crumple to the floor again. “The great Phoenix De Lange, remembered for this.” He shook his head. “One hundred and seventy-five daughters, sisters, potential mothers… friends.” His voice cracked. “I. Am. Undone.” Chest heaving, he stumbled toward me again. “Please, Bee, save what humanity I have left.”
The gun slid between my fingers. I nodded. “Okay, Phoenix. Okay.”
His shoulders sagged as he closed his eyes.
It broke my heart, absolutely shattered every part of me, that the only time I’d seen him truly at peace was in that moment — when he was asking for his own death.
I leaned forward then threw the gun to the side and kissed him as hard as I could on the mouth
.
It was the only way to show I trusted him, despite the pictures around us, despite the screams.
The only option of saving him wasn’t killing him, but reminding him who he was in the first place.
Just a man.
A man who had been given a second chance.
A man who was doing better — a man who was worth living for.
And a man I was completely in love with.
I tasted his tears, licked them away from his lips, and then kissed him harder. Slowly, his arms came around me, and he tugged me toward his body. He ripped the tape from my wrists. Pain sliced through my skin, but it was nothing in comparison to the fire burning in my soul at his touch.
“You aren’t him,” I whispered across his lips. “Now tell me who you are.” I pulled back.
He shook his head. Tears pooled in his eyes, glazing them over.
“Who are you?” I pushed against him. “Damn it, Phoenix, who are you?”
“I don’t know…” He licked his lips.
“Yes, you do.” I gripped his shirt. “You’re mine… my family, my protector, you’re my friend. You aren’t this.” I shook my head. “You’re better.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
His eyes burned into mine. “Bee.”
“I love you,” I blurted.
He stumbled back away from me. “What did you say?”
“I love you,” I screamed. “I love you!”
“How?” His voice cracked.
“You love a person for who they are, embracing what they’ve been and hoping for what they’ll become. I make my judgments based on what you did for me when my father tried to attack me in my room… for what you did every night when I had nightmares before going to sleep. For the moments you held my hand when you didn’t really want to. For feeding me when my father tried to starve me to death because I refused to let one of his men rape me. That’s the man I love — that’s the man you are.”
The door to the warehouse burst open.
Tex and Nixon ran through first, followed by Chase and Frank.
“I’ll kill him!” Tex roared. “You hear me, Petrov? You’re mine!”