When I saw Ember kneeling, half-naked on the ground in that breezeway, I was overwhelmed. She looked like an adult instead of a kid. I managed to rip my shirt sleeve during my insane attempt to yank my jacket off, so I could wrap it around her body. I would never even allow her to look at that ridiculous outfit – much less wear it. I have no clue where it came from either, but it will be nothing more than a pile of ashes before morning.
The madness threatened to start eating at my insides when I thought about any boy that might have seen my baby sister practically undressed. I forced the thought away from my mind, fast.
Ember had been so involved in her mental meltdown that she didn’t realize how dirty she was. I prayed she would sleep until I could take her back home. I knew she would go off the rails again when she realizes this fact. I’m not sure there is enough water in the county reserve to get her as clean as she will demand to be, once she sees herself in a mirror. I will probably have to wait a short eternity while she takes an epically long shower.
She has always been a clean freak from the time she could communicate. The second word she ever learned to say was “bath.” I will have to prepare for another, inevitable meltdown when she wakes up and discovers that I allowed her to sleep covered in dirt and smeared makeup.
I hope I won’t have to burn our car because Ember can’t sanitize it. I suppose that indecent outfit can burn along with it…
Working on the carburetor didn’t take my mind off the feeling of impending doom, but it did offer a little distraction. Rave is inside his house and that provides me with time to consider my available options – not that any of them are particularly good, but at least I have a few to consider.
I fully realize that most of my anger in the gymnasium was directed at me and I should have owned up to it. I find it interesting just how the mind works though. I had turned that anger inward, but turning something so volatile inside has severe repercussions. It has a tendency to spill right back out regardless and, in this case, the anger almost spilled out onto two innocent kids. I somehow managed to redirect my rage to a solid metal rail and the locker room wall although I still don’t know how I did that.
I had not been angry in a very long time. So the overwhelming emotion had taken me by surprise. This is considerably hazardous given whatever it is that I am. I shook my head in amazement because I honestly have no idea what I am exactly. The one thing I do know about me is that I can be dangerous now. So I have to be exceedingly cautious.
Although I handled the fury without any bloodshed – well, other than my own – I could have possibly managed the anger better if I had been prepared for it. I examined my knuckles and they still appeared to be uninjured.
I never knew I had that insane amount of strength in my body…
Of course, I couldn’t think of a likely scenario where someone would have a chance to test that theory. How often does a sensible person punch a cinderblock wall with every ounce of force they possess, anyway?
Oh honey, by the way, I punched a concrete wall today just to see what would happen. It crumbled to the ground – mind passing the potatoes…
I started laughing out loud at the insane thought before looking around to make sure Rave wasn’t standing behind me. I was still alone and I breathed a sigh of relief. This new piece of insight into myself will likely turn out to be beneficial. So I decided I would test it out later on property that wouldn’t get me arrested if I destroyed it.
My thoughts flowed back to Ember and her new abilities. I know, better than anyone, how scary they are when you first experience them. My special talents had come to me gradually so I had time to adjust to them. With her though, it’s like everything is happening to her all at once and she is being overwhelmed by her abilities.
As I tried to sift through the new craziness, I wished, for about the zillionth time, that I would’ve been given some type of warning. I could have shared a few things about my life that would have made her feel a little better. It’s like all of Ember’s abilities had just come from out of nowhere…or did they?
After a few agonizing minutes of driving myself insane, I decided it was pointless to consider the past. What I need to do is assess the damage, contain it (if at all possible) and then execute a well thought out plan. I need to consider my actual options before I speak to Ember about anything else.
She had become hysterical when she had mentioned moving away from Western North Carolina. So I placed that option at the bottom of my list. I figured moving wouldn’t help matters much anyway because her abilities will go with her. No one else had been in the breezeway when I had arrived at school to pick her up. It’s very unlikely that anyone saw her because I doubt she would have been alone – especially if they were of the male persuasion. That thought made me sick to the core of my very being…
I briefly considered just staying in this area, but changing schools – maybe that would be an option? Even as I turned the possibility over in my mind, I realized that it would be a temporary solution at best. It will also likely generate the same freak out from Ember as the whole moving idea. So I put that potential solution just above the moving option near the bottom of the list.
There is just no way to run from who and what you are…
Then I considered returning to school and using my most established ability to contain any resulting fallout – whatever that might be. That plan has at least a little more potential of succeeding. But if, and only if, I can sustain the ability and the number of people I will have to use it on. I can handle three or less. Although I didn’t see anyone around, that didn’t mean that someone didn’t see something strange. I suppose I could always pound that someone into the ground if all else failed…I laughed at the psychotic thought.
The next option I considered was to remain in the house we were currently renting and withdraw Ember from school. This was definitely the most appealing solution for me because I can keep her with me, full-time. We can also figure out what her abilities were, together. Maybe I can teach her how to use them, somehow. Sadly though, this plan has certain built-in flaws and those would turn out to be insurmountable.
First, I can’t imagine Ember being overly ecstatic about spending every waking minute of her life with me, alone. Second, I can’t provide her with enough intellectual stimulation to keep her occupied. That has the very real potential of leading to huge trouble.
I do not enjoy academic pursuits very much and Ember is my polar opposite in that respect. If we had a normal life, along with parents, she would have tested right out of high school. Our crazy, secretive life is what it is. Up until recent days, she appeared to be maybe eleven years old. I had doubted she could pull off being even six months older than her actual age. Unfortunately, those days are gone forever.
Lastly, she has never had any real girlfriends until now. Maybe it’s a guy thing or the fact that I had bigger obligations, but I had never had any close male friends – never had any desire to have one either. Watching her interact with Krista has kicked some sense into my head – girls need female friends. For Ember to risk what she did today to head off some ridiculous, teenage prank just so Krista wouldn’t get hurt, solidified this knowledge.
So my only available option is to return to school along with Ember and hope I can contain the fallout.
I put my face into my cupped palms and shook my head in exasperation…