“You want to tell me what you’re thinking?” he asked.
“Megan has great skin. Skin is such a miracle. It prevents infection, you know. Skin does so much for us.”
“What’s wrong, Emily?”
“Sorry. I guess back there at the apartment I was getting a little possessive. It was sort of like, ‘He’s mine. Leave him alone.’ Jealousy is not very becoming, is it? I mean, it’s so selfish.”
“I’m not interested in Megan.”
“Well, really, it’s fine if you are.”
“You trying to get rid of me?” he asked.
“No. I’m just saying I’d understand.”
“And why do you think I’d drop you for her?”
“Because she wasn’t in a fire.” She stood up and walked to the window and looked out.
He joined her. Together they looked out at the night.
“See anything interesting out there?” he asked.
She turned and reached up and lightly touched his cheek. “I dream of skin, you know. I really do. I’ve even thought of becoming a masseuse—to be able to spread lotion on people’s backs and feel the sensation of perfect skin. Can’t you see me doing that? I can.”
Austin was quiet for a moment, then he said, “You’ve had a great disappointment in your life, Emily, and you’re still trying to deal with it.”
They returned to the couch. She sat down next to him, her head down, too embarrassed to face him. Her back was straight, her hands folded in her lap.
“Thank you for listening to me.”
“You’re welcome. Any time.”
“We’d better go.”
“Tell me about that outfit you wear. What’s it for?”
“To keep the scars from getting thick and inflexible.”
“How much longer do you have to wear it?”
“At least another year.”
“Is that okay with you?”
“I hate the attention it draws, but it will help the skin look better, so I’m willing to do it. But it sometimes drives me crazy.”
“You know what drives me crazy?” he asked.
“What?”
“My mother.”
Emily smiled. She could believe that about Austin’s mother. “In what way?”
“She’s picked out the girl she wants me to marry. Her name is Meredith. Would you like to see a picture of her?”
“Do you have one?”
“Would you prefer the wallet-sized picture or an eight-by-ten glossy? A picture of her on the night she became first runner-up in the Miss Utah Pageant? Or a picture of her as first-chair cellist in the BYU Symphony Orchestra? Or how about a picture of her family? Her father is on a list to fill a vacancy in the Utah Supreme Court. Take your pick. I also have videos taken from her childhood. You can watch her grow up before your very eyes.”
“Is she pretty?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
“And you’re complaining? My gosh, she sounds perfect for you. Have you been spending time with her?”
“It seems like every waking hour when I’m home since I got back from my mission. Everywhere I turn, my mother has her propped up before me. Not now though. She goes to BYU, so we won’t see each other except when we both go home.”
He paused. “Do you know what my mom says to me about Meredith?”
“What?”
“‘If you don’t ask her to marry you, somebody else will snap her up.’”
Emily smiled. “Snap her up? What is she? A special on the Home Shopping Network? How does Meredith feel about you?”
“I guess she likes me. Not that I’ve tried that hard.”
Emily smiled. “It must be tough to be irresistible.”
He laughed. “Don’t start. I just hate it, the way my mom plans everything out for me.”
Emily wasn’t comfortable listening to Austin talk about another girl. “I’m sure you’ll work something out,” she said.
Austin shook his head. “It makes me crazy,” he said. “But, anyway, thanks for listening. It’s good to have a friend to talk to.”
Emily saw it more clearly. And somebody you have no intention of getting serious with.
Later that night, as she was getting ready for bed, Emily thought about Austin. He’s going to end up hurting me when he finds someone he can love. He’s going to leave me more isolated and lonely than before. We will call this friendship, but it isn’t. Not really. Because friendships last forever. And this won’t last more than a little while.
I should tell him no.
But I won’t.
I’ll be his friend, if that’s what he wants.
* * * * *
After church on Sunday, Austin dropped by to talk with Emily. Her roommates were either taking a nap or out with friends.
“You busy?”
“Not really. I’ve just been going back over this visiting teaching list.”
“What for?”
“Trying to make sure everybody’s matched up right. I don’t know. I’ve spent so much time on it this week. It’s just that . . . well . . . I want everyone to feel a part of the ward.”
“They probably do, though.”
“No, that’s just it, not everybody does. We’ve got a lot of girls who feel left out. I want each one of them to feel loved and appreciated. Every one of them.”
“I know you do.”
She smiled. “Sorry for boring you.”
“No problem. In fact, I’ve always wanted to be in a Relief Society.”
She laughed. “Really? Why?”
“Mainly for the treats. We never get anything to eat in elders quorum.”
* * * * *
At the same time Austin was resisting his mother’s efforts to get him together with Meredith, he was also trying to romance Samantha, the girl Emily had seen flirting with him in the library. Samantha was only a freshman, but she was easily the best-looking girl in his ward. She had long blonde hair, a great tan, and was young enough to be impressed just because he’d served a mission.
The first time he’d taken her out, when he walked her to her door, she looked up at him expectantly. It was a gesture that could not be misunderstood—so he kissed her.
“Oh, baby!” she said in a sensuous, breathy voice. Then she winked at him and went inside.
He couldn’t sleep that night. She gave me an “Oh, baby.” What exactly does that mean? It must be good, though. And no girl has ever said that to me before. Maybe it means she’s falling in love with me. I suppose it could happen. Love at first sight—for her, that is.
“Oh, baby,” he said, trying to say it the way she’d said it. He said it over and over again.
He whispered it a few times in bed, but then he found himself fantasizing about Samantha a little too much, so he got out of bed and went into the front room of the apartment he shared with three other guys.
It was way past midnight, and his roommates were all asleep. He tried watching TV for a while, but there was nothing on he wanted to see, so he went to his room and got the demo videotape Emily had made before her accident. He watched it all the way through—twice. He was amazed by how confident and self-assured Emily came across in the video. She was different now—much more quiet, even self-conscious. It was hard for him to think of the sophisticated news reporter and the Emily he knew as the same person.
He felt sorry for her. The accident had robbed Emily of her dream. It had changed her life. Thinking about the tragedy of what had happened to Emily drove away thoughts of Samantha’s amorous “Oh, baby,” and not too much later he went to bed and fell asleep.
The next day, after church, he tried to call Samantha, but her roommates said she was out for the day. He left a message for her to call him when she returned.
She didn’t call.
At eleven o’clock that night, the phone rang. Austin fully expected it would be Samantha, apologizing for not being there when he called, anxious to see him as soon as possible.
But it was Emily. He w
as a little disappointed, but tried not to show it.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“One of the girls in my ward just called. She’s really depressed, so I asked her if she’d like a priesthood blessing. She said she would, but I haven’t been able to get hold of her home teachers. I’ve called some others in the ward with no luck. Is there any chance you could do it?”
“Sure, no problem.”
As soon as he pulled in front of her apartment, Emily hurried out to the car. “Thanks for doing this,” she said.
“Thanks for asking.”
When they got to the apartment, Emily knocked, and the girl opened the door and let them in.
“Jamie, this is Austin. He’s a friend of my brother, Jeremy.”
Jamie looked embarrassed. She just nodded in Austin’s direction, then turned to Emily. “I’m sorry for bothering you. It’s just that I didn’t know who to call, and you’re always saying to call if anything’s wrong. Well, right now, everything’s wrong.”
“Could you tell us more about it?” Emily asked.
“Everything. My roommates hate me. I’m flunking out of school. I have a part-time job to help get me through school, but I’ve been sick the past couple of days, so I haven’t made it to work. My boss told me today that if I miss one more time, he’s going to get someone else who’d be more dependable. And the way I’m feeling now, I won’t be able to go tomorrow. And if I don’t work, then I can’t stay in college.” She seemed to be on the verge of tears.
Jamie sat down at the kitchen table and held her face in her hands.
Austin hesitated, then said, “Did you say you wanted a blessing?”
Without raising her head, Jamie gave a muffled, “Yes.”
Austin glanced at Emily. “I can’t do this without a prayer first,” he said. “Jamie, is it okay if Emily says a prayer before I give you a blessing?”
The unhappy young woman only nodded.
“Maybe we should have a kneeling prayer,” Emily said.
Austin could tell Emily experienced some pain getting into a kneeling position, but she got down with only a small wince.
The three of them knelt next to the kitchen table.
Emily began to pray. Even though Austin felt guilty about doing so, he didn’t close his eyes, choosing instead to watch Emily’s face as she prayed. She spoke in a quiet voice and paused occasionally in her prayer, waiting it seemed for further inspiration. She spoke of faith in the Savior and hope for the future and asked Heavenly Father to bless Jamie with strength and courage.
After the prayer, as they were getting to their feet, Austin looked at Jamie’s face. She hadn’t made any sound, but tears were running down her cheeks. He felt he should do something to show his sympathy, but just awkwardly stood there. It was Emily who acted. She guided Jamie to a seat and patted her forearm, the way mothers do to little children when they’ve hurt themselves.
The thought of giving a priesthood blessing left him feeling weak. I’m not ready for this, he thought. I should have closed my eyes and concentrated on the prayer. He looked over at Emily. It was the look in her eyes that gave him the courage to go ahead. Emily has the faith that this can make a difference, so I’ll rely on her faith.
Jamie sat waiting, her head down, her eyes closed, her hands folded on her lap.
Austin asked for her full name, nodded, then placed his hands on her head and gave her a blessing. He felt the Spirit as he reminded her of the Savior’s love for her and blessed her with the health and strength to face her problems.
When it was over, she wiped the tears from her face, stood up, and hugged him and thanked him.
“You want to talk?” Emily asked Jamie.
“I would, very much,” the girl replied.
“Austin, you’d better go home and get some sleep,” Emily said.
“I’ll wait for you and give you a ride home when you’re through here.”
“It’s not that far. Besides, this might take a little while.”
“It’s okay, I can sleep in tomorrow.”
“Well, okay, if you don’t mind.”
Austin went to his car, grabbed a blanket from the trunk, and curled up on the front seat and went to sleep.
An hour later Emily opened the car door. Austin sat up, and she got in.
“Thanks for waiting.”
“No problem. How’s she doing?”
“Better. I’m glad I stayed.”
As he drove toward Emily’s apartment, Austin said, “I admire you for the way you were with Jamie tonight. No matter what happens, she’ll always know you care about her deeply.”
Chapter 13
“I hope she knows that. And I appreciate you being someone I can always count on.” She reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Thanks for being such a good friend, Austin. That really means a lot to me.”
Back at his own apartment, Austin thought about the Emily on the videotape. He didn’t feel sorry for her anymore. Remembering her face as she prayed and the confident way she comforted Jamie, he thought, She’s lost a lot, but she’s gained a great deal too.
* * * * *
It was not easy for Austin to let go of the pleasant memory of Samantha’s Oh, baby! He tried several times a day to get in touch with her, but she was never at home and never returned his calls.
Finally, though, after several days of frustration, he caught up with her and she agreed to go out with him on Friday night.
He showed up on time at seven, but when Samantha opened the door, she seemed disappointed to see him. There were seven or eight other young women in the apartment. They were laughing and talking, but they all turned to look at Austin when Samantha opened the door. She didn’t invite him in but kept him standing on the porch, with the door open so they could all see what was happening.
“Hi. You ready to go?” he asked.
Wearing a grin and a knowing look, one of them said, “Is he the one you were talking about?”
Trying not to laugh, Samantha turned to her friends and said, “You guys hold it down, okay?”
“It is him though, right?” the girl asked again.
Samantha ignored the question. “Austin, some of my friends from high school came up to see me. So I can’t go with you tonight. Some other time, okay?”
Austin felt his face go red. The girls were looking at him with a mixture of pity and cruel humor. He was deflated but not willing to give up. “I don’t mind hanging out with you and your friends,” he offered.
“No, sorry, that wouldn’t work out. My friends and I are very close.”
“Oh, let him stay,” one of the girls said. “He’s kinda cute.”
“No, like I said, it wouldn’t work out,” Samantha said, then turned back to Austin. “You’d better go now.”
He started to say, “I’ll call you,” but the door closed before he could get it out.
A few minutes later he was complaining to Emily about being stood up.
“She won’t return my calls, she gives me one excuse after another, and now this.”
“So? Give up on her then and try someone else.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why isn’t it?”
Austin got up and paced the room, trying to decide if he should completely open up to Emily or not. Finally, because she was a Relief Society president and so understanding of other people’s problems, he decided to risk it.
“The first time I went out with Samantha, I gave her a goodnight kiss.”
Emily stared at him in disbelief. “You kissed her on the first date?”
“It wasn’t my idea. She gave me the look.”
“What look?”
“You know . . . the look.” In an attempt to demonstrate, he wet his lips, partially opened his mouth, and looked up expectantly. “That’s the look. It’s an invitation to be kissed.”
“Maybe her contacts were bothering her.”
“No, there’s no mistaking the look. But that’s not all. After I
kissed her, she said, ‘Oh, baby!’”
Emily burst out laughing.
“What?”
“Sometimes it’s hard to believe you’re two years older than me.”
“When a guy kisses a girl, and she says, ‘Oh, baby!’ what does that mean?”
“I have no idea.”
“Emily, c’mon, you’re Relief Society president, for crying out loud. You’re supposed to know things like that.”
“If it ever comes up in a stake leadership meeting, I promise, you’ll be the first one I tell.”
“It must mean something.”
“How old is this Samantha, anyway?”
Austin cleared his throat. “Well, she’s a freshman.”
“Are you serious? She’s a year younger than me?”
He felt threatened. “Well, yeah, I guess so, but she’s very mature for her age.”
Emily laughed again. “Not with ‘Oh, baby!’ she isn’t.”
“I can’t believe you’re making fun of me. I didn’t expect that from you. You’re a Relief Society president. I thought you’d give me some advice.”
“You want some advice? I’ll give you advice. Grow up, Austin.”
It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but, by the time Austin left Emily, he had decided to give up on Samantha for good.
I’ll find someone else, he thought. Someone older and more mature.
* * * * *
Austin’s mother was not happy about Austin staying in Logan every weekend, instead of coming home to spend time with Meredith. How was he going to fall in love with her if he never saw her?
She kept coming up with plans to get him home more often. Every time she called him, there was always a family gathering or some important event he needed to be to. This time it was to celebrate his father’s birthday. There was going to be a surprise party for him on Saturday night, and nothing would do but that Austin be there. He dreaded having to endure another of his mother’s fully orchestrated, big deal parties, but he left Logan on Friday afternoon, after his last class. He took a big bag of dirty laundry with him. At least I can get my wash done, he thought.
Before Austin went to bed that night, his mother casually mentioned that she had invited Meredith to have lunch with them on Saturday.
On Saturday morning, his mother gave him a haircut. She’d been cutting his hair since he was a little boy. They did haircuts in the kitchen, with Austin sitting on a stool, with a beach towel draped around him. Like everything else his mother did, she was good with the scissors and clippers.