9.
‘If the slugs are so intelligent, why don’t they rule the Galaxy?’ asked Emily.
‘They have intelligence and information and, as you know, information is power, but they have no imagination,’ replied Zeus. ‘They’re couch potatoes, watching tele all day!
‘The zinodes have strengths, which I’ve told you about already, and us anodes are the leaders. We make decisions, hopefully the right ones. You could say that we’re the boss, but without the slugs and the zinodes, we’re nothing. We’ve existed together so long, that we have become reliant on the others, each of us forming part of the whole. Anyone of us, by ourselves is functional, but is not strong as a species. Space, like Earth, is unforgiving; it’s survival of the fittest. That’s why the Titans aren’t causing much trouble at the moment. They lob a few slimeballs our way but, by themselves they’re weak. One day they’ll come back and when they do it’ll be like Chiron again.’
‘What’s Chiron?’
‘Chiron is where the troubles happened, but....Oh, I’ll tell you some other time,’ said Zeus, finishing the conversation.
He looked at the sun and said, ‘It’s time to start work. Hold my hand.’
Zimp!
‘It’s freezing,’ said Emily, as she stood shivering on the ice.
Zimp!
They were back on Emily’s doorstep.
‘Sorry I forgot; I don’t feel the cold. Get something warm on,.’
Throwing her belly dancing outfit in the corner, Emily pulled on the Emma Peel cat suit, thick socks and gumboots, and draped the burgundy shawl around her shoulders to keep the cold at bay.
Zimp!
They were gone again.
Arriving back on the ice, Emily peered into the murky depths of the freezing fog, straining to see whatever it was that lived there.
There was a puff of wind and the fog cleared a little, just enough that she could just make out some round shapes before it closed back in.
‘What are they?’ she asked.
‘Fat penguins,’ answered Zeus.
They walked over to see the penguins, which were round, like someone had pumped them up with a bicycle pump until they were about to pop. Legs and flippers stuck out stiffly at odd angles and they could barely move their heads from side to side. The one at the end tried to shuffle around to get a better look at the visitors and tumbled over, knocking down the others like dominos. Emily and Zeus burst out laughing then had to look away until they could control themselves.
‘Shhhh,’ said Zeus, elbowing Emily. ‘We mustn’t laugh at the customers.’
‘But, but, but,’ she stammered.
Looking around to see the penguins flopping around helplessly on the ice, she couldn’t contain herself any longer. She grabbed Zeus’s hand and led him away into the fog, trying to rein in her laughter until they were out of ear shot.
‘They are funny,’ said Zeus. ‘I wonder how they ever catch a herring; they must just bob around on the surface like a football.’
Picturing a penguin football Emily shook with laughter again.
‘Shhhh,’ said Zeus.
Once they’d pulled themselves together, Zeus ran over the history of the fat penguins.
‘They commissioned the asteroid and we built it entirely to their specifications, but they’re not happy. Dissatisfied customers is the last thing we want.’
Emily and Zeus walked further into the mist, away from the roly-poly penguins. Emily tripped over something white and furry in the snow. It growled feebly at her.
‘What is that?’
‘A polar bear, a skinny one.’
‘Why skinny?’
‘This is where you come in. Being human, as in human being, I hope that you’ll be able to give a different perspective on things. I’ve been in Earth Affairs for three thousand years. Although I’ve visited Earth, I’ve never lived there. I don’t really understand what makes it tick.
‘When the penguins commissioned the asteroid, they just asked for herrings and plankton; herrings for them to eat and plankton for the herrings to eat. Six months later we had fat, lazy penguins; fat, lazy and miserable. Ah, we thought, we need something that eats penguins. There were a lot of polar bears dying at the time because it was autumn and with the ice cap receding they were drowning or starving to death. So we bought in polar bears figuring that the penguins would either get eaten or get skinny. But it’s a disaster; we now have fat penguins and skinny polar bears.’
‘That’s easy,’ said Emily. ‘Polar bears don’t eat penguins.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because penguins are just too cute.’
‘Funny, that’s just what the polar bears said. They liked the idea of penguin dinner but when they saw how cute they were; they decided they would rather starve than eat them.’
‘You said that everyone pays, what did the penguins pay for this asteroid?’
Zeus smiled, ‘We haven’t figured that out yet. They were just so adorable, we couldn’t say no.’
Emily pulled out her diary, opened it at a new page and headed it up Fat Penguins.
Asteroid Xizang
Size Ten kilometres
Surface 90% salt water, 10% land
Climate Polar, 90% ice cover
Seasons Four, like Earth
Atmosphere Earth like
Clients Penguins
Inhabitants Penguins, herrings, plankton, and polar bears
Problems Fat penguins, skinny polar bears
She wrote Cause at the top of the next page and Solution on the following one.
She liked having Zeus ask her for solutions, it made her feel all grown up and important. She looked into the fog thinking for a minute, then said, ‘We need to go out to a security moon and get more information, there’s something missing. Like you, the slugs and zinodes, all creatures and plants living together need each other to survive.
‘My suggestion is to put everything that is living with the penguins on Earth onto Xizang. The polar bears don’t belong but they’ll just have to learn to fit in, can’t you give them counselling or something?’
‘We tried. They just say, no!’
‘Then, we need to bring in what they eat and whatever eats them as well. Let’s visit the sentry slugs.’
Click! Zimp!
They were on a sentry moon floating above a cotton wool sea of fog and whiteness. The sentry slug already had the cockpit screens flashing up information about the Arctic, the Antarctic, penguins, polar bears, herrings, fish, whales, ice pack limits, seals and Eskimos.
Emily carefully read the information writing down a few notes in her diary as she went then said to Zeus, ‘I’ll think about Xizang this afternoon. Let’s meet up tomorrow for breakfast, comfy seat on the veranda.’
‘See you then,’ said Zeus.
Zimp!
He was gone.
‘Baked beans on toast?’
‘With a poached egg on the side, yes, that would be just wonderful.’ said Zeus, as he sipped on his coffee.
Emily carried out two plates of steaming hot beans and they sat in silence, munching and enjoying the morning sunshine.
Once breakfast had settled, Emily opened her diary on the Fat Penguins page.
‘I’ve made a shopping list,’ said Emily, drawing little doodle penguins. ‘Leopard seals, fur seals, minke whales, skuas, petrels, Antarctic fish, sea anemones, seaweed and sponges, starfish, krill, shrimps, shellfish, dolphins and the funny little creatures that live on the bottom of the ice flows. Killer whales too, that should complete the Antarctic food chain. The whales normally migrate to warmer waters in the winter, what can we do about them?’
‘No problem,’ said Zeus. ‘Do you mind if they visit Camillo?’
‘Of course not, but how’ll they get here?’
Zeus clicked his fingers and there was an almighty splash as a
whale dropped into the sea in front of them. It spouted a couple of times then did a tail up dive and was gone; just like they do on tele.
‘I see,’ said Emily then moved on to the polar bears. ‘The polar bears are from the other end of the Earth. We should get rid of them entirely, but they’re so likeable, let’s let them stay. We just need something for them to eat, seals should do. Let’s stick with that for the moment and see how things stand in six months’ time. Does it take long to find all these animals?’
‘Not really, there are so many on Earth that they’re dying all the time. We try to get healthy animals that are young or of breeding age, so that normally means that they have to be sick or killed by something. We just tweak time a little to get them while they’re still intact.’
Before he left, Zeus said, ‘It’s your funeral tomorrow. Do you want to watch?’
‘I suppose so. It’s always good to see Mum and Dad. Annie might be there too. Yes, yes, yes!’
‘Same time, same place,’ he said, and was gone.