As the dragon carved its way through legions of warriors mounted on valiant stallions, it cleared a path for the angel who commanded them all. The power the beast exuded was tremendous, thickening the air and making my lungs constrict. Warriors fell. Horses staggered to their knees and rolled. Blood spilled and cries of agony rippled through the almost tangible atmosphere.
I strained to see, my vision darting back and forth between the angel and the dragon. Just as the way cleared, I gasped.
• • •
I bolted upright so quickly I tipped out of my seat and onto my knees. I leapt to my feet and made my way to the bathroom, where I scooped cold water onto my face.
A dream. It had been a dream. A very real, very disturbing dream. The same as the ones I’d been having for the past two weeks. And, more troubling, the same as the flash vision I’d experienced in the meat market.
• • •
All was quiet in the hour or so before we landed. Gray was asleep, and I presumed Onyx was too. I paced up and down the center aisle, releasing a few shaky breaths, fighting the ghosts of my past.
When I passed Onyx, he spoke quietly, startling me. “You’ve changed.”
I kept pacing. “Yes.” I swallowed. “I had to.”
“Me too.” His response surprised me, stopping me in my tracks.
“I’m not sorry, Onyx,” I said softly. “A part of me will always carry the guilt of taking your choices from you and making you human, but if I hadn’t, you would’ve…”
He nodded sadly, showing me a truth in his eyes I’d never glimpsed before. “I would’ve killed you and done untold things of horror.” He took a deep breath. “They’re not all bad, you know, angels malign—it’s not that they’re evil; they just see the value in the negative. Without it, there is very little way to gauge the positive. As you know, for exiles—whether light or dark—clarity is not theirs. Everything—envy, greed, hatred, anger—it’s all heightened. Exiles feel immense power and are driven by immense desire to simply act and effect change to their liking. It’s their reality, and for them, it’s addictive.”
I nodded, understanding as best as I could. I noticed that Onyx referred to exiles as “they,” no longer including himself in the same category.
Insanity and power are a perilous combination, which was why exiles of light were no better. The answer was always power and force, the solution always their own, and when they were in human form, that meant some form of physical violence.
“I still struggle within the confines of an only-human body,” Onyx went on. “But that’s not all you forced on me.”
I looked down, waiting for whatever nail he was going to drive in.
“You gave me clarity.”
I glanced up, and he shrugged.
“Such a simple thing. It took months for it to finally settle and then even more time to come to terms with what I had become. Pride is brutal when stripped, whether it be from angel, exile, or human. But it is also a gift when needed.”
I listened, dumbstruck by his confession.
“I’m not exactly sure what I am now,” he mused. “I have an eternity of patchy memories, an inherent darkness that will never leave, and, though I am mostly human, I am uniquely aware of what is not. And I have clarity. For the first time, I have someone…I have people I would stand beside and fight with—not for my own purposes, but for theirs—because I choose to.” Onyx looked into my eyes for a moment and, I was suddenly certain, saw too much. “Dare I say, because of you, I have come the closest in my existence to being…part of a family.” His voice caught on the last word. “So.” He straightened, clearing his throat. “No. No apology required.”
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Onyx really has changed.
After a few stunned beats, I nodded. “Thank you.”
His smile turned fiendish and decidedly more familiar. “No. Thank you. I can barely wait to get you to New York. I’d sell tickets to the event if I were willing to give up my front-row seat.”
“And what event would that be?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“Oh, come on. You and Lincoln in a room together? Soul mates. Once joined and now parted. Why, your story will be one for the new age bible—the cautionary tale of dos and don’ts and the tragedy that lies between. No doubt we are headed for the greatest chapter yet.”
I shook my head. “Sorry to disappoint. I’m going to get Spence and that’s it. I’ll be in and out, job done before there is any time for anything else.”
Onyx chuckled. “Still deluding yourself, I see. Fabulous!”
• • •
When we touched down, I sent Josephine a text:
At JFK. Thanks for the ride.
Can I trust you to keep this to yourself?
Her response was immediate:
I won’t tell a soul. But don’t fool yourself.
He will find out.
I sighed as I read her message, looking up to see Gray watching me carefully.
“Are you going to tell me why I’m coming along?” he asked.
He’d known it was important. And I knew he could smell a good fight ahead, so he’d come along, no questions asked—up until this point.
“Backup,” I answered. “I never know what to expect from Josephine, and I need someone who is definitely on my team.”
Gray nodded, understanding.
“And…”
“Yes?” Gray raised his eyebrows.
“I need you to help me keep my guards up.”
Gray studied me for a moment. “He’s going to be there?”
I nodded. “And I can’t let my walls down. Not even for a moment.” I held his gaze, needing him to understand. It wasn’t why Gray had trained me for these past ten months—that had been to help me fight, so I could get close to exiles and remain hidden. But it had had a twofold effect, which I imagined he’d suspected: it had also helped me block my connection to Lincoln. So much so that Lincoln had suddenly stopped tracking me. He’d always stayed close, pursuing me relentlessly, and then one day, when I was getting ready to bail on London…it all just stopped.
If I wanted to have any chance of surviving while being in his proximity now, I’d need to keep my walls up—I couldn’t imagine what might happen if they were to come down. In many ways, Gray had taught me how to cage my soul.
“You’re headed for trouble, Violet. You won’t be able to control it twenty-four seven, especially at night.” He gave me a loaded look.
I didn’t need to think further than last night to know what he meant. As Phoenix had explained, the time between rest and sleep was when my guards faltered—a definite problem.
I turned to Onyx. “Any chance you have somewhere we can stay?”
Onyx, who’d been watching, enraptured, grinned. “I have the perfect place.”
• • •
It was late evening, and stepping out of the car outside the Academy buildings felt strange. I couldn’t help but remember the first time I’d arrived there, how different my view of the world, and of life, had been then. Manhattan, such a densely exile-populated city, had completely overwhelmed my angelic senses.
I pushed down the immediate memories of Lincoln—how he’d kissed me in the very place I now stood, the way he’d taken the burden of the senses from me and released them. I still had all five, not that I openly shared that information. It was just one more thing I knew I might never understand.
At least now, thanks to Gray’s help, they were muted. I registered the flavor of apple on my tongue, the sounds of birds crashing into trees. I smelled flowers, the fragrance so mixed it was as though I was in a city-sized florist, but without being overwhelming. Not even when the contradictory sensations of ice and heat ran through my bones and blood or when the images of morning and evening played in my peripheral vision was I taken away from myself.
I felt a boost of confidence. Yes. I could do this. I was stronger than ever. I was faster. I had more weapons. More control. And stronger defenses. My powers in every way had developed.
And Onyx was right—I was most definitely not the girl I had been.
“Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in Hell.”
Matthew 10:28
Goddamn it. He was everywhere!
I could feel his presence even on full alert and with my guards up, supposedly working as protective shields around my body and senses. My soul was unkindly defiant. But I kept it under control, confident that I was doing enough to keep myself hidden from the city’s exiles and, most importantly, from him.
“This way,” I said, causing both Onyx and Gray to look at me questioningly as I led them around the back of one of the Academy buildings.
When we reached a small door that could only be opened from the inside, I knocked.
It was unlocked immediately, light beaming out brightly as it opened.
“Bloody hell,” Gray mumbled behind me.
“And I’m so thrilled to see you brought your friends, Violet,” Josephine said, lips pursed as she held the door open. “I hope you understand that he”—she lifted her chin in Onyx’s direction—“is very much unwelcome within these walls. We do still have some standards.”
Onyx snorted. “There is a saying that I do look forward to sharing with you one day soon,” he taunted.
I sighed, knowing it was a runaway train.
Josephine, of course, boarded. “And I’m dying to know,” she said sardonically.
Onyx tapped his fingers lightly against his temple as if deep in thought as he glanced between Josephine and me. “I believe it goes something like: ‘The queen is dead. Long live the queen.’”
Hell.
I really did not need to start things off this way.
Josephine plastered a cruel smirk on her face. “Well, I can imagine that thoughts of death do consume much of your time, Onyx. Is that a gray hair I spot?”
“Seriously?” Gray intervened. “Did we just step onto the playground?”
I turned to Onyx. “We’ll meet you later on,” I told him, leaving no room for discussion. Then I looked back at Josephine. “It’s midnight and we’ve had a long day, Josephine. Gray comes with me or I don’t come in, and we both know you wouldn’t be standing at this door if you didn’t want me here.”
Her eyes narrowed briefly, but she opened the door fully and stood aside. “I see time hasn’t improved your manners,” she muttered. “He can join you, as long as he can behave and show some civility.”
Gray ignored Josephine and nudged me. “You’re gonna owe me on the epic after this.”
I had a feeling he was right.
After Onyx stalked off, Josephine led us along a number of corridors before taking us in a coded elevator up to the top floor of the “Command” building, into the heart of Academy territory.
She ushered us into a vacant meeting room and took her position at the head of a large oval table. The room was sparsely furnished, the ebony table, surrounded by a dozen boardroom-style chairs, taking up the majority of the space. The door and three of the walls were painted linen white, while the other wall was made entirely of glass and frosted white in typical Academy fashion. Gray and I took seats opposite one another.
Josephine looked exactly the same as I remembered. Her brown hair with strong auburn streaks was pulled back in a severe manner, and she wore a deep purple pencil skirt and black fitted shirt. Her heels were off the charts high, and she wore them with the ease of someone slopping around in slippers—though, of course, nothing about Josephine was sloppy. She was as immaculate and as cold looking as ever as she settled her aqua-blue eyes on me.
“What do you know?” she started.
Okay, so clearly we’re not bothering with niceties.
“Spence is missing. Chloe is in a coma, but the one time she did come around, she asked for me. And some people mistakenly think it’s possible Spence has been corrupted.”
Josephine nodded. “And while I’m sure that is not all of it, it’s a good enough place to start, I suppose. And what is your intention from this point? You must realize that this is an Academy issue. Any decisions on how to proceed will be made through the Assembly.”
In other words, through her.
But this was where my status as a Rogue helped.
I leaned back in my chair casually, all but putting my feet up on the perfectly polished table. “Well, we are going to have to discuss that. You see, I’m not Academy, and I do not answer to the Assembly. But we both know you want me here, for whatever reason that may be.”
Josephine’s mouth twitched. “What are you proposing?”
“Why did you bring me here?” I countered.
Josephine looked down briefly and I could tell she was deciding how much she was prepared to say.
Games. It’s always the same with her.
“Spencer was on a mission with his partner. It captured my attention. I’d very much like to know what he discovered, and I believe you are possibly the best chance we have of finding him. Besides that, I also believe it is time some things were settled, and having you here might do that once and for all.”
I watched her suspiciously. Did she know of the bald, briefcase-wielding exile? Did she know he was behind the tournaments? I was positive there was more to it, but she didn’t trust me any more than I trusted her. Frankly, I was surprised she’d given me this much information.
“I’m here for Spence, pure and simple. I want to get him out of whatever trouble he’s in. If I have to take down a bunch of exiles in order to make that happen”—I shrugged—“that’s just fine with me. You and the Academy can take all the credit and call the mission whatever you want, but I’ll do it my way and on my terms.”
“And if I don’t agree?” she replied sharply.
I raised my eyebrows. “You know what I’m capable of. Do you, for one second, believe I won’t walk right out of here and go and get him anyway? But I warn you, if it goes that way, any semblance of mutual respect between us will be over. We are not now nor will we ever be friends, but do you really want me as your enemy?”
Josephine glanced at Gray, no doubt wondering if having me as an enemy also meant making one of Gray, one of the most respected Grigori among the Rogue community. The flat smile he gave her seemed to be all the confirmation she needed.
“I never wanted you as an enemy,” Josephine said. “I wanted you as part of the Academy, if you recall. I still do.”
“I recall everything, Josephine. We’ve all made our choices and we all live with the consequences. But right now, all I care about is Spence. And if you’re hoping to use this as an opportunity to make me a part of this Academy, you will be sorely disappointed.”
I knew I was coming off bullish, but I needed to establish these things before we got any further. Josephine wasn’t sitting here out of the goodness of her heart and most certainly not for Spence. She had an ulterior motive.
“You will not disrespect Academy procedure or the role of the Assembly while you are here. Nor will you attempt to recruit any Academy Grigori to your Rogue ranks,” she said.
“I never have,” I retorted, offended by the suggestion. “And anyway, I won’t be staying here.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“We’ve organized more…neutral accommodation,” I explained, keeping my expression blank.
She saw through it immediately. “He’s running the mission.”
“Put someone else on it,” I fired back.
She shook her head. “He’s the best. Would you suggest we did less for Spencer?”
I took a breath. There was no question when she put it like that.
“Violet, there i
s no way to avoid him.”
“We’ll see,” I replied.
“He’s running a strategy meeting right now. If you want to find out what the latest is, I’d suggest you listen in.”
“I’d rather go to see Chloe,” I threw back, ignoring my racing heartbeat.
Josephine stood and started for the door. “Priorities, Violet. Chloe is unconscious and is not going anywhere. The intel you need to help find your friend is just down the hall. What will it be?”
Shit.
I took a deep breath and pushed my scrambling thoughts aside. “I’m not going anywhere I’ll be seen.”
Josephine smiled. “I thought you might feel that way. Don’t worry, you’re covered,” she said, pulling two black silk robes from a hook on the back of the door and handing them to me.
I held them up and noticed their hoods. I passed one to Gray, who gave it the same once-over.
“Really?” he groaned.
I should’ve just legged it and found another way to track down Spence. But I knew I’d be taking a risk with his life and that he would never do that with mine.
Damn it.
“Really,” I replied, throwing on the cloak and pulling the hood down to cover my face while I concentrated on keeping my guards locked tight.
“This way,” Josephine said, an unmistakable sound of victory in her voice. Suddenly I felt like everyone’s plaything.
Each step down the quiet hallway broke me further in two. Half of me felt each movement like I was wading through quicksand, while the other half was tripping over itself to urge me on, knowing what was behind the door ahead.
Gray grabbed my arm as Josephine reached for the door handle. “You can do this,” he said into my ear, his voice showing no doubt.
I nodded, relieved that he was here with me. “I know.”
And I would do this. I had to. I’d spent the past two years doing nothing but growing stronger. I could stay in control of this situation.
For Spence.
We shuffled quietly into the back of another meeting room. Most members of the Academy might have been tucked into bed for the night, but here I could sense a couple dozen people surrounding me. Ignoring the particular awareness that was overwhelming me, I peeked out from beneath my hood. The room was about twice the size of the one we’d just left and was full of Grigori. Some were seated around a central table, but most were without chairs and standing around the edges, providing enough of a crowd that we were able to remain unnoticed at the back of the room. Mostly.