The day of the festival arrived, but the joy I’d once anticipated was diminished, buried under the disappointment of Hadrian’s departure. Eventually the small voice of reason won out over my numerous counter arguments, and I wasn’t able to continue my denial any longer. Sometime in the night, I’d accepted the truth I’d been hiding from—fairytales and magic were things of the past, and held little place in the future I wanted.
Hadrian’s words caused a crack, and the more I pondered, the more I saw his wisdom. I didn’t doubt that I held some affection for him—my body had displayed that truth easily—but as I looked deeper at those emotions, it was the idea of him, the mystery and magic I was drawn to. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to fully let it all go. I wasn’t used to this crushing sensation that weighed heavy on my chest—it wasn’t like the grief of losing my mother.
I tried not to think about William through the night. Each time I did, my heart reacted and I berated myself for not being faithful. Although there was no commitment between us, he’d stated his intentions, and I’d kept part of myself from him. I wasn’t sure how I was going to resolve these emotions. I loved him more than I’d ever thought, but was it enough while a piece of my heart still belonged to Hadrian?
I opened my eyes slowly, not wanting to leave the security of my bed. I had nothing else to do during the day except prepare for this evening’s festivities, and another flutter of excitement filled me. As Mother Earth, I would stand opposite William, playing the Sun King, and together we would repeat the wedding vows. Although they were part of the Druidic rite, it hit too close to home.
They could be true words if you have the courage, the voice whispered, and I didn’t doubt it. William would marry me in a heartbeat, but I needed the personal conviction before I allowed myself to ever exchange such sacred pledges. He deserved that.
Letting out a loud sigh, I threw back the covers and sat up, rubbing sleep from my eyes. Sunlight was already streaming through the window, and my stomach rumbled from hunger. I stretched, my attention randomly falling on the small chair across the room, and a small gasp escaped my lips. During my slumber, someone had entered and left me a gift.
Draped neatly across the seat was an exquisite dress. I hurriedly crossed to examine it more closely. The material was elegant, in a purple that reminded me of my river violets and as soft as flower petals. Small glass beadwork decorated the bodice and as I lifted it into my arms, I noted the ribbons that laced up the back. I held it up to my body and smiled. It was the most beautiful gown I’d ever seen, fancier than anything I’d ever worn or owned. A quick judgment told me it would be a perfect fit.
Something else caught my eye, and I carefully laid the gown on my bed. Hanging on the back of the upholstered chair was an exquisite flower garland, and I instantly recognized them from Hadrian’s garden. Hesitantly, I reached out to touch them, convinced the second I did, the magic would fail and the headdress would crumble. I laughed with delight when they didn’t, my eyes widening at the violet flowers woven amongst the others. It told me exactly who the gift was from even before I noticed the folded parchment which had fallen to the floor.
For one night it would be my honor to share this Midsummer Night’s festival with you. It would please me to see you wear my gifts tonight. Until then, Hadrian.
I smiled as I reread the note several times before crushing it to my chest. He was returning, and even though it was just for tonight, I would make sure every second counted. By the time the sun rose, declaring the festival over, I would know where to place my affections—Hadrian or William.
I gave no more thought to guilt or indecision. This time tomorrow, my future would be determined. I finally gave in to the excitement of the day and swirled around the room with the gown pressed up against me,