I’ve been cursed for centuries?
Good vampires, what year was I even originally born in?
My mind races with a million questions, none of which I can come up with answers to.
I’m starting to get a headache.
“This is all beside the point,” Kingsley continues. “My point is that all of you idiots have been completely oblivious to the fact that we haven’t been mentioning certain names and details during this conversation.”
“So?” my mom says. “We’ve been mentioning the curse.”
“Yeah, but not the details or the name of the creature who cursed us,” Kingsley points out. “Which means …”
“That Raven is within earshot,” my mom gasps. “Holy bats, how did I not notice this?”
“If that’s the case, then how can we speak of the curse?” my dad points out. “That was never allowed before.”
“I’m not sure, but how about we see what our little cursed vampire knows about all this,” Kingsley says. “Oh, Raven, why don’t you come in and join the party?”
Shit. This can’t be good.
Raven
Kingsley knew I was out here the entire time!
I jerk back from the tent and scan the tented area, debating whether to run or not. Not that I believe they’d hurt me. Still, they just had an entire conversation about the past lives they watched me suffer through and it’s really freaking me out. The last time I ran away from the truth, though, I ended up getting dragon fire burns on my neck.
Time to woman up, Raven.
Taking a measured breath, I lift the flap of the tent and step in.
Inside, lantern lighting mixes with the orange glow of a crackling fire. Twinkling lights are strung above and a pitcher of blood is perched on the far back table. Sitting rigidly around a rectangular table are my parents, Rhyland, and Ava, while Kingsley leans against a corner beam, looking as comfortable as can be. The really odd part is they’re all dressed in black attire, like I am. Maybe it’s a Land of Moonlight thing.
“How long have you been standing out there?” my mom whispers with wide eyes.
I casually shrug, though I’m on edge. “A while.”
Rhyland crosses his arms and stares me down. “How much did you hear?”
I shrug again, my gaze boring into him. “A little more than I already knew.”
He reclines in his chair, a pucker forming at his brow. “And how much did you already know?”
Another shrug. “Some stuff, but not all.”
He frowns. “You’re being very vague.”
“So are you,” I quip. “All the time.”
The corners of his lips quirk. “I guess so.”
The way he’s looking at me, as if he’s starving and desperate to eat me, makes my chilled blood warm. Feeling the blush creep into my cheeks, I look away from him and at my parents.
“I take it by the shocked looks on your faces this hasn’t ever happened before,” I say. “But since I met that pixie, Harper, before, I’m thinking this isn’t my first time in the Land of Moonlight.”
Stunned doesn’t even begin to describe the looks on their faces.
“You remember?” my mom whispers, clutching the necklaces hanging around her neck.
“Some stuff. I definitely don’t remember all the centuries and centuries I’ve spent plummeting around in this hellhole of a loop.” I make a circular gesture with my finger. “Not that you guys tried to help me remember.”
“Honey, we couldn’t.” My mom pushes to her feet and takes cautious, measured steps toward me, as if I’m a spooked cat about to flee. “I don’t even know how you were able to find out what you know—you’re not supposed to be aware of any of this.”
“You guys may have thought that,” I say, “but at some point in one of my past lives, I either started putting two and two together or overheard something I wasn’t supposed to.”
Her forehead crinkles. “You remember your past lives, too?”
“No … Well, sort of. That’s not how I know I figured stuff out in a past life.” I anxiously fiddle with the zipper of my jacket. “I found something.”
“Found what, exactly?” Kingsley asks, crooking a brow. “Come on, sweetheart; you have to give us more details than that.”
I shake my head. “I’d rather not say right now.”
“Because you don’t want to?” Kingsley asks. “Or because you can’t?”
“Because I don’t want to.” I step forward as the wind blows the flap of the tent against my back. “Not when I don’t have a clue who I can trust.”
“Raven, maybe if you told us, we could help you figure out more,” my mom encourages, stepping toward me. “You can trust us, honey.”
I hold up a hand, indicating for her to stop. “Right now, I don’t know enough about what’s going on to know if I can trust you or anyone else. I mean, for all I know, you guys could’ve staged that entire conversation.” I let my hand fall to my side as my mom slows to a halt. “And even if I did tell you how I found out, you guys can’t even say who cursed me or why I was cursed, right? So, there’s no point.”
They all trade an anxious look. Well, all of them except for Rhyland. His gaze hasn’t wavered from me since the moment I stepped inside the tent.
“Dammit.” My mom yanks her fingers through her hair. “I wish I could … I wish … Fuck.”
My eyes widen. “Wow, since when do you drop the f-bomb?”
She lets out a depressing laugh, her eyes flooding with tears. “I want to tell you so much. You know that, right?”
Not wanting to see her cry, I step forward and wrap my arms around her. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
She only cries harder, wrapping her arms tightly around me. “I hope so. I really do. But you don’t … Fuck.” She sobs harder.
“Let me take her to her tent so she can take a breather.” My dad stands up and winds around the table toward us. “It’s been a long few days.”
Nodding, I move back as he slips an arm around my mom. She immediately presses her face into the crook of his neck and sobs harder. My mom has never been much of a crier, so the sight is startling.
My dad pats me on the shoulder. “Just give me a bit to calm her down, and then we’ll talk some more, okay?”
I force the corners of my lips to tip upward. “Okay.”
Everyone keeps suggesting we talk, yet according to the conversation I overheard, they can’t tell me much, so what’s the point in talking? What I should be doing is seeking answers from those who can tell me more, and find my journal so I can finish reading it.
My dad guides my mom out of the tent, leaving me alone with Rhyland and Kingsley. And well, Ava. How is she even aware of the curse? I haven’t seen any memories or read anything about her. And I’m fairly certain not every creature is aware of it.
A malicious smirk twists at Ava’s lips. “Well, well, well, I guess little Miss Loser Raven is finally catching on to what all of us have been aware of for years.”
She reminds me so much of Nadine it’s frightening.
“Ava,” Rhyland warns, but I raise my hand.
“I can take care of myself,” I tell him. “I don’t need you to defend me.”
Kingsley snorts a laugh. “You know, it’s sexy as hell when you’re feisty. But words cannot describe the fantasies I’m having right now of you being feisty in that little dominatrix getup you’re wearing.”
I tighten my jacket around myself. “Ew. Stop thinking about me like that.”
Kingsley nibbles on his bottom lip, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Nah, I’d rather not. Not until I at least get off on it—”
Rhyland springs to his feet and smacks him in the gut. “That’s enough.”
Kingsley’s hunches over, letting out a pain-laced laugh. “You and your jealousy never get less entertaining. Guess I know all that shit you were spewing in the tent was bullshit.”
Rhyland grits his teeth then turns toward me with his hand outs
tretched. “Let’s go get you fed before those burns take over your entire body.”
I make no move to place my hand in his as the image of him and Nadine dancing in the castle sweeps through my mind. I shouldn’t care. I really shouldn’t. Not when he’s spent lifetimes torturing me. But my throbbing heart doesn’t seem to give a shit about the past, emitting pain throughout my chest.
Stupid, traitor heart.
Rhyland frowns. “Glad to know where we’re still at.”
“I’m not even sure what that means,” I mutter, turning toward the flap of the tent.
“It means you still hate me,” he whispers softly from behind me.
Snowflakes swirl around me as I step outside into the cold. “No, I don’t.” As soon as the words fall from my tongue, the truth burns through my veins.
How can I not hate him after everything that’s happened in our past?
Evidently, Rhyland is riding the same brainwaves, because his brows rise to his hairline. “You don’t?”
Grimacing, I shake my head. “No, apparently not.”
A relieved smile graces his lips, then he starts down the path, motioning for me to follow. “You seem so angry about that fact.”
I trail after him, moving slower to avoid falling on my ass. “I am.”
“That’s understandable, considering this lifetime and past ones.” He slows down, letting me catch up to him. Then he gives me sidelong glance. “Do you remember anything about your first life? I mean, the one before the curse?”
I give a one-shoulder shrug, staring ahead at the mountains. “Maybe a little bit of it.”
When he remains silent, I turn my head to look at him, only to find him staring intensely at me. So intensely I wonder if he might kiss me. Definitely something I don’t want happening.
Well, sort of.
Okay, okay, as pathetic as it might make me, even after he bit me and ditched me to go dance with my sister, I desire him, which is crazy because I never desired him before I started remembering. Sure, I thought he was good-looking, but a complete asshole.
He doesn’t look like an asshole now as he stares into my eyes and grazes his finger along the rose pendant around my neck. “Do you remember when I gave this to you the very first time?” When I shake my head, he asks, “What about this lifetime?”
Pressing my lips together, I nod. “It was my thirteenth birthday. You kissed me for some crazy reason.”
His nostrils flare as he breathes in deeply. “Kingsley is right. You are getting stronger.”
“Um, hello.” I gesture down at my feet, struggling not to slip on the icy path. “I’m still as klutzy as I’ve ever been.”
He folds his fingers around my arms, pulling me to an abrupt stop. If he wasn’t holding me, I probably would’ve fallen on my ass.
“I’m not talking about physically.” He steadies me. “I’m talking about mental strength.”
I grip his shoulder to keep my balance. “How does me remembering you giving me this necklace a handful of years ago make me strong?”
“Because I …” He grinds his teeth. “I can’t say, but maybe if you remember all the details, you’ll be able to figure it out.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Well, I remember how you blackmailed me into kissing you in order to get it.”
He chuckles, his eyes full of life, so unlike the Rhyland I know. Well, in this cursed life. “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”
“And,” I talk over him, but all he does is grin, “you told me I wasn’t allowed to wear it.”
His grin fizzles. “That’s because I wasn’t supposed to give you gifts at all. Not then, anyway.”
“Then, how did you?”
When he shrugs, I grimace.
“Let me guess; you’re cursed into silence?”
He silently stares at me with his lips pressed firmly together.
I sigh. “This curse is really a pain in the ass, isn’t it?”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with a speck of a smile on his face.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I touch my cheek. “Do I have something on my face?”
He shakes his head, strands of his blond hair falling into his eyes. “I just never thought I’d ever hear you speak about the curse.”
“And that’s a good thing because …?”
“Because it means you know you need to break it, which has put you way further ahead than you’ve ever been.”
“But this creature who cursed me is speeding up the reset, right? That’s what the smoke was back at the castle?” I ask. Though he doesn’t nod, I know I’m right. I know what I overheard.
I ponder all the times I’ve seen the smoke, in the forest, at the castle. Every time, the fey queen was around.
“Is it the fey queen?” I wonder. “Is she the one who cursed me?”
His expression remains neutral, his body frozen in place, revealing nothing.
“Let me guess; you can’t tell me?” I sigh as he unfreezes and offers me an apologetic smile. “Well then, let me go back to the memory of you giving me this choker and see if I can at least figure out why you think I’m mentally stronger this time around.”
I tap my finger against my lip. “Truthfully, I can’t remember much after the kiss. And I didn’t even remember kissing you at all until recently … until after I was declared the next vampire queen, which is a kind of a reoccurrence when I’m around you—forgetting memories, I mean. And falling asleep …” Something I overheard him say in the tent dawns on me. “You have witch’s magic in you, right?” Again, nothing but silence, but I know the answer already. “So, did you take that memory of us kissing away from me with your little witchy powers?” I don’t bother waiting for his answer, knowing he can’t say anything. “I bet you did. But, I remembered because I’m mentally stronger this time? Stronger than witch’s magic, anyway, which is also why I probably know you put sleep spells on me.”
His expression remains blank, literally driving me crazy.
“You know that neutral look is unbecoming on you,” I say, trying to irk a reaction out of him.
His lips loosen into a grin. “Is that so?”
I nod, relieved he’s no longer doing the creepy staring thing. “It’s completely so.”
He wets his lips then splays his fingers across my cheek, his gaze scorching, welding to mine. “Do you know what looks are unbecoming on you?”
So not what I was expecting him to say, but I guess I should’ve known better.
“No. And I really don’t want to know.”
He ignores me. “When you have sadness in your eyes. It doesn’t fit you. Never has. Your eyes should be full of life, full of spark, like they are right now. Never sadness.” He grazes his thumb along my cheek. “No more sadness, okay?”
What the alluring vampires is he trying to do? Seduce me or something?
If so, it’s sort of working.
“Do you remember how I used to look at you?” he asks, slipping his other hand around to the small of my back. “Do you remember how I used to touch you?”
I start to nod, then shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“Don’t know? Or won’t admit it?”
“Maybe a little bit of both.”
He smiles sadly. “You don’t trust me, do you?”
I shake my head then shrug. “I really don’t know yet. From what I remember and from this life, I’m not so sure I should.”
Sadness reflects in his eyes. “I wish you did.”
“So do I,” I utter truthfully.
“Until you do—until you know everything—you need to be careful, okay?” he whispers, and I nod. His gaze drops to my lips. “I can’t … I wish …” He stares at my mouth for so long I swear he’s going to kiss me. Then he steps back and takes my hand. “Let’s get you to the tent and feed you. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us tomorrow morning, and you’re going to need your strength.”
His sudden switch in attitude nearly gives me whipla
sh, making my guard instantly go back up.
“Where are we going tomorrow?” I ask as he steers me up the path.
He gives a glance at my neck. “To catch a dragon.”
My eyes pop wide. “We have to catch a dragon?”
“Of course.” He grazes his finger along the brim of my nose before hastily pulling away. “How else do you think we are going to get ahold of dragon’s fire?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. I thought maybe we’d catch it in a jar or something.”
He chuckles. “That might be easier if it were possible, but unfortunately, that’s not how it works.”
“How does it work, exactly?” Fog laces from my lips. “Wait, it doesn’t have to, like, breathe its fire on me, does it?”
He cups my cheek. “Unfortunately, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
My lips part in shock. “Won’t that burn like an evil witch?”
He skims his thumb along the bottom of my eye. “It’ll hurt a bit, but it’ll hurt worse if we don’t get the burns off you.”
I press my hand to the bottom of my neck. “And what happens if it tries to turn my whole entire body into this?”
“It won’t.”
“How can you be so sure? Wait … unless we’ve already done this before.”
“No, but I know what I’m doing.” He removes his hand from my cheek to thread his fingers through mine. Then he guides me farther up the snowy path.
“What are you? Like a dragon trainer or something …” A memory plinks into my mind and images ripple in waves.
“Do you want to know a secret?” Rhyland whispers as we hike through the forest.
We’re around fifteen, maybe sixteen, and are dressed in colors that blend with the night. Rhyland has a spring to his walk, while I stumble to keep up with him. I hate that I’m so clumsy and that he seems to radiate coordination, but at this point, I’m well aware that I’m as good of a vampire as I’ll ever be. And I’m okay with that. I’m happy. Healthy. Have a best friend who’d do anything for me.
“Sure. What’s your secret?” I swing around a tree, but not fast enough and the bark scrapes my flesh.
“Hmmm …” He taps his lips with a playful glint in his eyes. “I’m not sure I should tell you. You might tell on me.”