Josh kept his gaze locked on Channie’s eyes as he crossed his arms and gripped the hem of his sweatshirt. He pulled it off over his head then tossed it on the floor.
Channie skimmed her gloved fingers over the chiseled muscles of his chest and belly.
He closed his eyes. And trembled.
When he quit shaking, Channie said, “Are you desensitized yet?”
“Why? Are you getting bored?”
“How could I possibly get bored with my hands on your body?”
Josh groaned as if he were in pain and pulled her closer. She could taste the cool mint on his breath even as it warmed her cheek. He squeezed her waist and said, “I can’t wait to kiss you.”
“We aren’t ready.”
“I know.” He gazed into her eyes and Channie felt as if she were falling. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”
Channie shook her head slowly. “But, you make me feel beautiful. Especially when you look at me like that.”
“Like this?” The pulse point on Josh’s neck throbbed. His heart was racing in tandem with hers. He lifted a hand to her shoulder, but instead of sliding it down her arm, he skimmed the front of her sweatshirt.
Channie froze for a split-second, her mind unable to process what just happened. Josh slid his hand back up and paused over her breast. Her thoughts were still a jumble of contradictory messages, but Channie’s body didn’t need any input from her brain. She arched her back and leaned into Josh’s hand. What was she doing? This was wrong. Wasn’t it? She’d told Mrs. Abrim that she wouldn’t sleep with Josh. But for the life of her, Channie couldn’t remember why.
She dug her fingers into Josh’s shoulders as he continued to explore. They were both breathing hard when he stopped and slid his hands to her waist. Why was he stopping? She opened her eyes and found his questioning gaze again searching her face. He wasn’t stopping. He was asking for permission. She gave it, silently nodding her head.
Josh slid his hands under her shirt. His eyes never left hers even as he fumbled with the hooks of her bra. When the clasp finally sprang open, Channie instinctively crossed her arms over her chest.
Josh froze.
Channie took a deep breath and tried to relax, but couldn’t stop shaking.
Josh was shivering too. He said, “We can stop now, if you want.”
It was more than obvious that he did not want to stop. But neither did she.
“No, it’s okay.”
“Channie?” Josh’s voice was breathless and raspy. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.“
“What about that...uh...moon thing?”
“I stopped it.”
Josh got up and propped a chair under the doorknob. So much for the ‘no lock’ excuse.
The dim lighting from the television flickered across Josh’s bare back as he opened the closet and pulled out a set of sheets. He really was prepared for all contingencies. He tucked the linens under one arm then leaned over and dug around in his backpack. What was he doing?
Without Josh’s hands on her, Channie’s confidence faltered.
Josh put something in his pocket then stood up and looked at her. “Do you want the TV off or on?”
“Off.” Definitely off.
“It’ll be pitch black in here. Is that okay?”
“The darker the better.”
Josh used his phone as a flashlight to make his way back to the sofa. When he turned it over to turn it off, it illuminated his face with an erie glow, distorting his features. He frowned, puckering his brow and groaned as he exhaled. “I can’t do this.”
The flood of relief that poured over Channie washed away her anxiety, but left her reeling.
“Look at this.” Josh turned the phone towards Channie. It was too far away to read the tiny ornate script, but she recognized the page Josh had photographed from the Book of the Dead.
He sat down next to her and said, “You were right. This middle part is a warning to me. But it’s not just about avoiding the temptation of other girls. It’s about keeping the promises I’ve already made to you.” He paused and read the verse from his phone.
“… Burn the image in your heart and mind of true love’s kiss, and surely you’ll find the strength and the will and the power to keep the promise you made so your love would not weep...”
When Josh turned off his phone, it felt as if a link had been severed. As if the dim glow from its screen was the only thing holding them together.
Josh said, “I promised you that I wouldn’t pressure you to do anything you weren’t ready to do.”
Channie couldn’t see his face in the dark but she knew him well enough to know what he was feeling even without reading his energy field. She’d felt the same way after she attacked him at her house...the first time they’d opened the Book of the Dead. It was a horrible feeling and she didn’t want him to feel guilty or ashamed.
“Josh, it’s okay. I understand. It’s easy to get carried away —.”
“You must have tried a hundred times to stop me tonight, but I didn’t respect that. I didn’t respect you. I just kept trying until I wore you down and got my way. I’m so sorry...I hope you can forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive.”
“Good night, Channie.”
“Josh, wait.” Channie stood up, but with no visual cues, she was completely disoriented. A flash of light stabbed her eyes. She blinked away the pain, and turned her head towards the door, but Josh was already gone.
~***~
The rest of the weekend was ruined. Josh wouldn’t even look at Channie. She knew it was because he was ashamed of himself, but it felt like he was punishing her.
He was still preoccupied and distant on Monday. Channie decided to have it out with him after practice on Tuesday.
She was sitting at the kitchen table working on her biology homework when the automatic garage door shook the house. Mrs. Abrim walked in the side door. Alone. Her arms full of groceries.
Channie got up to help, grabbed a couple of bags and said, “Where’s Josh?”
Mrs. Abrim huffed and rolled her eyes. “He got a phone call from Kassie, some kind of emergency that required him to leave practice early so she could cry on his shoulder. I dropped him off at her house.”
Chastity’s energy churned with jealousy. Channie had to take three deep breaths before she could trust her voice to sound normal. “How’s he getting home?”
“He’s riding his bike. His racing bike that isn’t supposed to be ridden anywhere but on a track.” Mrs. Abrim pressed her thumbs into her temples and rubbed her forehead with her middle fingers. “Can you handle dinner on your own? I’ve got a horrible headache.”
Channie slapped together a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for Elijah and glared at the clock on the kitchen wall. Josh had been with Kassie for well over an hour. “Elijah, do you have any idea where Kassie lives? I need to talk to Josh.”
“If your phone’s dead, you can borrow mine.”
“No. I need to talk to him face-to-face. But thanks.”
“She lives in the bright green house over by Heritage Park.”
“I know the house you’re talking about. On the southeast corner of Aspen and Madison, right?”
“I don’t know the street names.”
“Will you be okay if I leave?”
Elijah shrugged his shoulders. “Mom’s here.”
Channie was so angry she pedaled down every hill without coasting. If Josh and Kassie were doing what she thought they were doing, she’d kill both of them.
By the time she got to Heritage Park, Channie’s legs were on fire. She stopped to catch her breath and happened to glance towards the pavilion. Josh was sitting on one of the picnic tables—with his arm draped across Kassie's shoulders.
Channie’s heart stuttered and plummeted to her feet. She didn’t want to believe what her eyes were telling her. She tried to convince herself that it was some other boy snuggled
up with the little whore. The baseball cap pulled low over his brow hid his face, but there was no hiding the sharp angles of Josh’s body or the graceful way he gestured with his hands.
It wasn’t Channie’s intention to eavesdrop. She only meant to give herself a chance to calm down and gather her thoughts before confronting him. But when she felt the power of Josh’s compassion—pouring into Kassie, Channie’s joints locked. Josh and Kassie were so wrapped up in their discussion, and each other, that they didn’t notice Channie standing behind them.
Josh said, “You have to tell Eric. He has a right to know.”
“I can’t.”
“You want me to tell him for you?”
Kassie shook her head and pressed her face against Josh’s chest.
The air took on a red tinge as blood roared behind Channie’s ears. She pointed her finger at Kassie, like an avenging angel rebuking the devil himself. “Get your filthy hands off my boyfriend.”
Josh spun around so fast he nearly knocked Kassie off the table. “Channie? What are you doing here?”
Chastity’s energy raged inside her, panting for revenge. It took all of Channie’s self-control and Enchantment’s magic to keep from cursing the both of them.
Kassie whimpered and rubbed her arm. “Josh! I think you dislocated my shoulder.”
Josh’s focus immediately shifted back to Kassie. He poured even more of his compassionate energy into the little bitch and said, “Let me see.”
Chastity’s energy and influence grew inside Channie’s power-well, straining the very limits of her control. Kassie was trying to steal Josh right in front of her.
Channie gave in to Chastity’s desires and cast a moon-curse on Kassie. The magic rushed out of her, but instead of dropping to her knees, exhausted by the sudden release of so much energy—she felt stronger.
Chastity buzzed with power. But Enchantment shuddered and pulled back to hide deep inside her heart-of-hearts. Channie knew she was strengthening the curse and destroying her true self. But the look of astonishment and pain on Kassie's face as she jerked her supposedly injured arm out of Josh’s hands and clutched her belly was worth it.
A feeling of omnipotence, pleasure, and righteous indignation lifted Channie above all the jealously, pain and humiliation of Josh’s betrayal. She rode the crest of the wave for three heartbeats—then slammed into a wall of shame with so much momentum it knocked the breath right out of her.
There was no justification for the amount of energy Channie had used in the moon-curse. She could have used one-tenth as much power and it would have been too much. Kassie would bleed heavily for a month, maybe more.
Channie cast a generic healing spell, but it didn’t work. The curse was too strong. She focused on Kassie's womb, looking for the source of the heaviest bleeding. What she found tunneled her vision and turned her blood to ice. The world grew darker, colors faded to shades of grey. Channie clutched the smooth white trunk of an aspen tree to keep from falling.
Kassie was pregnant.
~***~
Kassie screamed in pain. Josh gripped her shoulders and shook her gently. “Kassie, what’s wrong?”
She pressed her fists into her belly and curled her body over her hands. “It hurts!”
Josh’s eyes went wide, then narrowed into slits. He glared at Channie and said, “What did you do?”
It sounded as if he were under water. Or at the bottom of a well. Out of reach. Channie couldn’t focus. She needed to think!
Was the baby Josh’s? No. It couldn’t be. He’d said that he’d never had sex before. He hadn’t even had a girlfriend since grade school. The baby had to be Eric’s. Didn’t it? Unless Josh had lied to her. He and Kassie had looked awful cozy on the picnic table before she interrupted them.
He said, “What ever you did, Channie. Undo it. Now!”
The sound of Josh’s voice broke through the fog in her mind. But Chastity was in charge now.
How dare he yell at her, the lying, cheating son of a bitch! The only thing keeping Channie from cursing him was her irrational desire to hear him deny what she already knew to be true. Please say it isn’t true. Channie couldn’t bear to look in his eyes, so she turned her gaze to Kassie and said, “Who’s the father!”
Kassie's eyes flashed like a cornered rat. The tip of her pale tongue darted between her lips. “What are you talking about?”
“I need to know …” Channie took a deep breath. “Who got you pregnant.” What she really needed to know was how to stop the progress of Kassie's miscarriage.
Chastity’s magic roared inside Channie’s mind. She didn’t exactly hear a voice, but the message was clear. Let nature take its course. Don’t interfere. Get rid of it. Or lose Josh forever.
Enchantment’s magic was weak, but it also had a message. A message delivered by a voice that was barely a whisper, more like a thought than a sound.
Even if it means you’ll lose Josh forever, save his baby.
Channie tried, but this was more complicated than healing a cut, a broken nose, or a sore throat.
Josh’s eyes filled with tears. He looked so helpless, so...desperate. “Channie?” His voice cracked, breaking her heart. “Please.”
“Shut up, Josh. I have to focus!”
Channie pressed her palms over her ears to block out the noise. She had no chance of success if she didn’t shut Chastity down first. She’d suspected all along that Chastity was evil, but she’d never been more certain of it than she was right now. It took all her human strength in addition to every last bit of Enchantment’s power to fight the darkness inside her that wanted Josh’s baby to die.
She had nothing left and was forced to redirect the positive energy of Josh’s compassion away from Kassie and into her own heart-of-hearts. In a way it was fitting that Josh help save his own child. Channie worked as quickly as she dared, alternately closing off veins and arteries and reopening them when the baby’s heart rate changed.
Kassie cried out in pain, but Channie ignored her and focused on the baby. She heard Josh talking on the phone, asking someone to please send an ambulance, and tried to block him out too, but she was so attuned to his voice she still heard snippets of conversation.
“I think she’s having a miscarriage ...”
“About eight or nine weeks ...”
“Heritage Park …”
“The picnic tables, under the pavilion...next to the playground …”
“Please hurry. There’s an awful lot of blood.”
The tiny life-force grew weaker as the sound of distant sirens grew louder.
Flashing lights filled the parking lot just as Channie found what she was looking for and repaired the last bleeder. The baby’s heartbeat grew stronger and faster. At first Channie thought it was too fast, but before she attempted to slow it down, she remembered that a fetus’ heart beat was supposed to be fast.
Kassie continued to moan and clutch her belly. She shouldn’t still be in pain. Channie didn’t have much energy left after saving the baby, but she used what she had to scan Kassie again. Either she was faking it, or it was just nerves. Either way she’d be fine soon enough.
Josh pulled her against his chest and kissed the top of her head—the way he’d done so many times with Channie. He tucked a strand of Kassie's hair behind her ear with such tenderness it made Channie’s heart hurt. It was an actual, physical sensation—a sharp, stabbing pain followed by a dull ache that was bound to stay with her forever.
Josh looked up and locked his gaze on Channie’s face. He mouthed the word “thank you,” then turned back to Kassie.
The Book of the Dead had won after all. It had warned them, but Josh had obviously succumbed to temptation and now he was going to be a father. It didn’t matter how much Channie loved him, or even if he still loved her—And he did love her. Even as he stroked Kassie's face, Channie felt Josh’s love reaching out to her. But it gave her no comfort.
Josh might love her with all his heart, but h
e’d started a family with someone else. He’d been too weak to deny the desires of his flesh. If Channie stayed, neither of them would have the strength to deny the desires of their hearts.
~***~
When Channie got back to Josh’s house, she found a note on the kitchen table from Mrs. Abrim informing her that she went to the hospital and not to expect her or Josh back any time soon and could she please go get Elijah from Mrs. Guffy next door and fix supper for him.
She fixed the box of macaroni and cheese Mrs. Abrim had set out for her. It was an easy meal to prepare, but she still managed to burn it. Elijah refused to eat it...until Channie burst into tears.
“Don't cry, Channie. I’m eating it. See?”
He did indeed have his mouth stuffed full of scorched macaroni. She laughed through her tears and said, “I’m not crying because of the damn macaroni. I’m just crying because...because I’ve had a very long, very, very bad day.”
Elijah got up and put his arm around Channie’s waist. He said, “Is there anything I can do?”
“Nah. I’ll be okay.” She was about as far from okay as a body could get, but she didn’t want to upset Elijah.
Channie went into the bathroom and sobbed into a towel for five minutes. It was all she would allow herself. She had to get out of here before Josh came back from the hospital. If she saw him again, she would not have the strength to leave. Especially if Chastity decided to rear her ugly head and take charge.
She pulled out her school notebook and wrote Josh a letter.
Dear Josh,
Words fail me as I try to express what is in my heart. I wish I could have been the one to meet your needs, but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I’ll never forget you or stop loving you, but I’ll never forgive you either so don’t try to find me. Of all the girls you could have chosen to slake your lust, why did you have to choose Kassie? Were you trying to punish me? I guess it doesn’t matter why, the fact is that you and Kassie have a baby on the way and you need to do the right thing for your child. I know that teenagers in your society don’t get married just because they get pregnant, but your baby needs a father. Have a long and happy life.
Love,
Channie
She folded the letter into a triangle, just like the note Josh had given her on the first day of school. She felt as if her heart were being torn from her chest when she removed her promise ring and slipped it inside the note.