I gasped for air. ‘For me, or for the children?’
‘Both.’
Everyone had been planning everything. My life, my death, my purpose, their ends.
‘Why not do this first? Break our connection before I bonded with Lincoln’s soul?’ My anger was building again.
Phoenix shook his head. ‘We couldn’t be sure your death wouldn’t alter the soulmate connection. The risk was too high.’
‘I was never going to die,’ I said, arriving at the painful truth.
‘Not for any longer than necessary,’ Phoenix confirmed.
Lincoln had known what would happen since he came back that night with the bruise on his face. He’d already made his choices before we slept together. He had known that Phoenix would kill and revive me, that he would give me his essence to release me, that his own soul would shatter, that … That I would be left alive … without him.
More tears – sorry, sorry tears – slipped down my face.
‘There was no other way. Trust me, Violet, we looked at it from every angle. There was no way to stop Lilith killing all those kids.’
My voice trembled. ‘You could’ve let me die like we planned!’ My self-control broke and I struck out at him again, this time with swipes and desperate slapping. ‘You should’ve let me die! I don’t want to live without him! I can’t! I can’t … I can’t breathe, I can’t … I … You should’ve let me die!’
‘I know,’ he winced. ‘But I couldn’t.’
‘I was there! They forced me back. I was so close I could almost reach out and touch the reflections. They wanted me to go with them, but the angels stopped me. I should’ve gone!’
‘What are you talking about?’ Phoenix asked, suddenly grabbing my shoulders. ‘What do you mean reflections?’
‘The shimmerings. I see them when the angels come to me. They’re always in the background calling to me.’
Phoenix slumped down, defeated. ‘Oh, damn them all. They’re pulling way too many strings.’
I didn’t know what he meant. Didn’t care.
‘I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am,’ he said. ‘I know I brought Lilith here. I know how awful it is to lose the very thing you have started to live for. I’ll hate myself for eternity for doing this to you. But there is a way to stop Lilith. Together. We can still get the rest of those kids out. We can get the Scripture back, your mum. And … we can get Lincoln, too, get … his body out so we can …’ He looked away.
I punched him, then gripped his shirt, shaking him. ‘So we can kill him? That’s what you want to say, isn’t it? That’s what the two of you agreed, didn’t you? That you’d kill him!’
Phoenix took my hits, still doing nothing to stop me.
‘Yes,’ he confessed. ‘He didn’t want to be … He wanted you to be free.’
I slumped away from him, exhausted, moving into the corner of the armoury.
‘I lost the only thing I would fight for.’ I hauled myself to my feet, my knees knocking together, colt-like. My body had been mostly healed from the wounds but I was broken and weak in every way that mattered. Phoenix moved towards me, the injuries I’d inflicted on him already healed.
‘No!’ I put out a hand. ‘Don’t come near me.’ I made it to the door and unlocked it before pulling it open. Steph, Spence, Salvatore, Dapper and Onyx all stood from where they’d been sitting on the stairs. Steph was crying.
They had heard.
Salvatore barrelled into the room and I heard him hit Phoenix. Steph made a move towards me but I put up my hand to stop her, grabbed onto the railing and took a step. Onyx cast his eyes down when I passed. Dapper watched me with undiluted pity.
‘Let us help you,’ Dapper said softly.
I shook my head, climbed the first flight of steps and moved through the kitchen to the next. With every step I took, I remembered being in Lincoln’s arms the night before.
I dragged myself into the bedroom and stared at the bed; sheets still rumpled. I could smell him. I bit down on my fist as I screamed again and crumpled to the floor, wrapping my cold arms around my legs and tucking myself into a ball.
I knew beyond all doubt that nothing in my life would feel good, ever again. And all that I had left to hold onto – those few brief hours when we had been free to love one another – had been robbed from me and stripped back to nothing but lies and devilish scheming.
I rocked myself, feeling a chill settle into my bones. Loneliness was all that awaited me now.
There is a reason a soul is supposed to shatter when the connection is broken between soulmates. I knew that now. It was simply intolerable; a pain that outstripped words and surpassed beginning and end. There would be no relief.
Shouting downstairs ensued as Phoenix defended his actions to Steph and Dapper. In time quiet returned, as they no doubt reached the same hopeless conclusion that nothing could change what had been done.
More time elapsed. Eventually, I crawled into the bathroom. I turned on the hot water in the shower, not bothering with the cold, and sat beneath what should have been a scalding downpour.
But I was only cold. Empty.
Some time later, the door opened. The water stopped. Steph crouched beside me.
‘Oh, Vi. Oh my God!’ She ran to the door and yelled for help. I heard arguments erupt and then Steph reappeared with Phoenix beside her. She wrapped me in a towel, and Phoenix lifted me off the floor.
‘You’ve burned yourself,’ he said, carrying me to the bed.
I felt limp.
Steph was crying beside me, holding my hand. I couldn’t look at her.
‘I swear if you’re lying, I’ll kill you myself,’ Steph hissed at Phoenix through her tears.
‘I’m not lying. I’m the best person to heal her now and nothing I do can cause her any more harm.’
Phoenix lay me down gently and focused his power on me. I vaguely registered my burnt arms returning to their usual fair complexion.
‘Vi, honey, can we get you anything?’ Steph asked, her voice shaking.
I shook my head. ‘Just leave.’
She paused. I thought she was going to argue but then I heard her stand up.
‘We’ll be downstairs so just yell out if you need us.’
Footsteps moved towards the door and Phoenix started to walk out with her.
‘Phoenix?’ I said.
He stopped and turned back to me.
‘I need you to do something.’
He nodded. ‘Anything.’
‘Make it stop,’ was all I said. But he knew exactly what I meant.
His eyes looked so sad, so sorry. For me. ‘Violet, I don’t know if that’s …’ He dropped his head. ‘I’m already absorbing some.’
I couldn’t fathom that there could possibly be more that I wasn’t already experiencing.
‘Make it stop, Phoenix. You two decided to do this to me, but from now on, I’m in charge of what happens to me. If you want my help, turn it off, all of it. I need to think.’
Slowly, he stepped back towards me and, resigned, nodded. I felt my emotions slowly start to lift. Phoenix was working his power like a sponge, gradually soaking up all the pain, the loss, the anger, the grief until there was only a dribble left. For the first time since I had woken, I could think. I sat up.
Phoenix stumbled and fell to the edge of the bed.
‘Are you going to be okay?’ I asked, my tone bland.
He nodded, swallowing back the tears from experiencing my pain. I ignored him and, still wrapped in the towel, walked to the cupboard to take what I needed before returning to the bathroom. When I reappeared, I was dressed in a pair of black leggings and a leather jacket. I tied my hair back in a high ponytail and pulled on my black boots, ignoring my shaking hands.
Functioning on nothing more than some kind of disconnected robotic mode, I made my way downstairs, everyone watching me nervously. I paused when I passed Onyx.
‘Did you get the children to safety?’
He
nodded. ‘We put them on a bus to the Academy.’
With that, I continued on down to the basement. Phoenix followed. I entered the weapons room and started making my selections. I strapped on weapons belts, securing grenades around my waist, knives at my thigh belts, and two katanas onto my back. I spun round, looking for more, and found Phoenix standing there, my dagger in his hand.
He held it out to me. ‘Thought you would want this.’
I took it from him. ‘I do.’
He leaned against the side bench. ‘Lilith can shield the area around her using wind as a force field. You’ll never get close enough to her to hurt her.’
I stared at him and waited.
‘I can,’ he finished.
I simply nodded. ‘Okay. Tell me what the plan is and don’t leave anything out,’ I warned.
Thirty minutes later, I sat outside the front of the cabin, backpack at my feet. Phoenix stood by the doorway, giving me my space. Everyone else was less considerate, pacing around me like wild animals.
‘This is ridiculous!’ Steph said. ‘You are not going back in there! We haven’t even had a chance to test out your silver blood – how can you be so sure that’s all you need?’
‘Steph is right, Violet,’ Salvatore said. His face was bruised from where he and Phoenix had fought.
‘It’s not open for discussion,’ I replied.
‘Especially if we hog-tie you until Griffin gets here,’ Dapper tried to argue.
‘I’m coming with you, Eden,’ Spence threw in.
I appreciated that he didn’t try to talk me out of it, but even so, I shook my head. ‘Not part of the plan.’
He folded his arms. ‘Don’t care. I’m coming. I’ll go invisible until the time is right.’
I shook my head stubbornly. No one else would be sacrificed. ‘No. Your glamour won’t hold around so many of them.’
He scoffed. ‘I’m strong enough and you know it. You’re not my keeper, Eden. I’m coming whether you like it or not. Same terms as always – I get dead, it’s on me.’
‘We could use him,’ Phoenix said quietly from his place by the door.
I wanted to argue and yet I found myself shrugging.
‘Promise you won’t make a move until I say,’ I demanded, glaring at Spence.
‘I can’t believe you guys are even discussing this! You can’t go after her alone, Vi!’ Steph shrieked.
We ignored her.
‘My word is gold. You know that, Eden,’ Spence said, not looking away from me.
That much was true. I sighed. ‘I need a phone.’
Phoenix passed me the same phone Lincoln had given him before we’d entered Lilith’s estate. I called Griffin.
‘Violet?’ he answered on the first ring.
‘It’s me.’
‘Oh, thank God. Dapper called when they arrived at the cabin last night but he wasn’t making much sense. He said Lilith called Dapper’s phone, demanding to speak to Onyx. She told Onyx she had you prisoner. That’s why he agreed to go with the exiles she sent.’
None of it was a major surprise to me.
‘Violet, what the hell’s happening out there? I sent Spence, is he there?’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘The way Onyx was talking last night … He said they were torturing you … That … We thought you were …’
‘I was,’ I confirmed, my tone flat. I guessed no one had spoken to Griffin since Phoenix had turned up with me.
‘You sound … What’s going on? Where are the others?’ Griffin was frantic.
So many questions. No good answers.
When I didn’t respond he said, ‘Onyx gave us Lilith’s location and Josephine’s been readying the forces. We’re on our way to you. I’ll be at the safe-house within the hour.’
‘Don’t bother. I’m leaving now. Tell them to go straight to the estate and … Bring everything you have, Griffin. Bring everyone who can fight.’
‘Violet, you’re scaring me. Put Lincoln on.’
I swallowed. I stared at a tall tree with branches that swept down over the cabin. ‘Can’t.’ The word caught in my throat.
There was a pause. ‘Where is he?’
‘Lilith still has him.’ I closed my eyes. ‘His soul has shattered.’
‘God have mercy,’ Griffin breathed.
‘Apparently not. I’ll put Phoenix on the phone.’
‘Wait. What? Phoenix?’
‘Yes. He’ll tell you how to get past the outer guards in case any are still alive.’ I very much doubted there would be.
‘Wait, Violet! Wait until we get there, you can’t go in alone!’ He sounded frantic. I could hear his fast footsteps and people calling out to him. He’d be too late.
‘It’s the way it has to be, Griffin. I have to get them out.’
‘Violet, you will wait till we get there – that’s an order!’
Every word felt meaningless, nothing penetrating the numbness that now engulfed me. ‘I’m not taking orders any more, Griff.’
I passed the phone to Phoenix and turned my attention back to the river. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me but I ignored them. Instead I waited for Phoenix to give Griffin approach instructions for the estate, describing its weakest points and suggesting entry tactics.
It didn’t matter to me of course. I would be going in through the front door.
Before he finished the call I heard Phoenix struggle to answer a question that was obviously about me.
‘I don’t know … She’s … I’ve never seen anything like it … I don’t know … Maybe never.’
He told Griffin to hurry before hanging up.
‘Let’s go,’ I said, extending my hand. I wasn’t waiting any longer.
‘Violet, please don’t do this,’ Steph tried one last time.
‘I’m sorry, Steph. I have to,’ I answered.
Phoenix pocketed the phone and nodded as he took my hand and then Spence’s. The three of us moved like the wind. But it felt different this time. I now had Phoenix’s essence in me and I could see the wind-travel like I had never been able to before. I understood how he became it, moved as a part of it and not just within it. I wondered if I could now do it, too.
I started to pull my hand from Phoenix’s to see if I could keep moving like he did. My feet caught in the momentum and I stumbled. Phoenix stopped, Spence rolling onto the ground as Phoenix tried to steady me. I looked around. We were in the middle of a forest. I started to run, faster and faster, so much faster than ever before.
But I was not the wind.
I’d picked up some of whatever it was Phoenix had. It would come in handy, but I couldn’t harness the power of the wind in the same way. I stopped running. Phoenix was beside me, Spence holding his hand again. Wordlessly, I put out my hand. The three of us moved like wind once more.
Moments later we were on the outskirts of Lilith’s estate. It was nightfall again and had just begun to rain heavily. Everything had changed in such a short time.
Dark clouds rolled in and thunder echoed around us, closely followed by lightning that struck so sharp it looked as if it had split the sky in two.
My heart turned inside out for the world to see.
Ignoring the heavy downpour, I pulled out two daggers and made my way towards the first line of guards. As I neared them, I started to run, using my newfound speed. I ran straight for them, not slowing even when my blade slid into the first, then the second, then the third. I took them all down, every one I passed. I didn’t look back. Anything that came at me from the side or from behind, I knew Phoenix and Spence had covered.
We were fast. We were silent. We were deadly.
When we neared the front gates, I stopped and gave both of my daggers to Phoenix, then turned to face Spence, taking off the holster holding the katanas.
‘Stay back and out of sight. When you spot the Scripture – that’s on you.’
Spence nodded. ‘I’ll get it.’ He took my blades and held them up. ‘And I’ll be rea
dy.’
He started to move away from us until he had disappeared completely under an invisible glamour. I took my Grigori dagger out of its sheath and tucked it into the back of my pants, concealing it with my top.
I looked at Phoenix. ‘Do it,’ I said.
He didn’t hesitate and I was glad. He struck me hard across the face. Once.
The pain was nothing.
He hit me again, opening up a gash on my forehead, and shook his head. ‘Good enough.’
I turned, clasping my hands behind my back. Phoenix tied them together, carefully placing the pull tie in my palm so I could loosen them any time I wished.
As his captive, we walked out of the rain and right through the front doors to Lilith’s lair.
Phoenix led me past groups of exiles, who started to follow us, and into the ballroom, where Lilith sat on her throne. When we reached the end of the black carpet, he kicked my feet out from under me and pushed me to my knees.
‘I suggest someone kills the guards who were responsible for her,’ Phoenix growled, throwing one of the daggers I’d given him onto the ground and out of my reach. ‘I’m getting sick of being the only one who can capture her. It took me the whole goddamn day this time. If it weren’t for my control over her, you would’ve lost her altogether. When I found her, she was dead. I had to revive her just to bring her back for you to kill yourself!’
He was convincing.
I noticed the small man in the business suit standing to the side of the room, watching with great interest. He adjusted his spectacles and his eyes flitted between the three of us as if he suspected shenanigans.
Lilith looked on suspiciously as well.
‘Olivier was responsible for her,’ Lilith said.
Olivier stepped forward. ‘As I explained, we were attacked.’ He eyed Phoenix suggestively.
Lilith stood and walked towards Olivier, her hips swaying and her hair flowing like liquid gold. I wanted to rip her heart out.
Patience.
I spotted a low black sofa beside Lilith’s throne. Lincoln’s soul-less body was lying on it, a collar around his neck from which a single golden chain led into Lilith’s hand. He was breathing. I didn’t look for long. Didn’t react. Couldn’t.