Chapter Thirty-Nine
YOU CAN'T BORROW MY CLOTHES, EITHER
I stood stock-still, utterly stunned, with Vivian's long, skinny arms around me. When had I fallen asleep? I quickly ran back through my recent memories-Raquel, the path, Arianna, Reth-but they all flowed sequentially into each other. So either I was having the longest, most lucid dream ever or Reth had knocked me unconscious on the Faerie Paths.
Or Vivian was really here.
"I- You- Am I asleep?"
She laughed, backing up to arm's length and holding both hands out in a ta-da sort of gesture. "You're not asleep. And neither am I, thank goodness for that. "
"How?" I scanned her frame but couldn't see the burning souls she would have inside her if she'd drained any paranormals.
"That is the question, isn't it. " Reth's tone was as ill-tempered as his look. He sat on the couch and then, glaring at me as if daring me to mock him, he lay back on it, his breathing still shallow and rapid. "I plucked her body from the Center on our second visit there, lest she fall into Unseelie hands again. Imagine my surprise to return here today and find her awake. "
"You woke up all on your own?" I didn't know whether to be elated or scared. I mean, sure, Vivian and I had become friends, sisters even, in the time since I stopped her from killing paranormals. But that had been in the safe confines of our dreams. Vivian out in the real world. . . "safe" was not a word that sprang to mind.
"I wouldn't say all on my own, no. And have you seen yourself? You're lit up like the Fourth of July!"
I looked down self-consciously. I'd been trying to ignore it, but I was pulsing with light. Not like when it had been concentrated in my wrist and heart from Reth, or the pale, barely there shimmer of my own soul. No, I was filled with all sorts of sparks and swirls of color if you bothered to look and could actually see.
Which Vivian, being another Empty One, could.
"Umm, yeah. I didn't want any of this, not really. " Only kind of a lie. "There have been a few. . . complications. "
She lifted her eyebrows at me, a wry smile on her face. "I know a thing or two about complications. "
"Yeah. So. You? Awake?"
She took my hand, hers freezing in mine, and pulled me over to the couch. "Gosh, your hands are burning up. It feels amazing. Sit down. I'm exhausted. " Vivian leaned back and I noticed she was even paler than me, which was saying something. She looked winded, though all she'd done was stand for a couple of minutes. "Guess being asleep for a few months and losing the energy from hundreds of souls doesn't do wonders for your body. "
"Guess not. " I shifted uncomfortably, wondering if maybe she'd like to take some back so we'd be even. Added a whole new layer to the eternal problem of sisters taking each other's things.
"Still, I've got one of my own now. " This time her smile wasn't vicious or hard at all, but full of wonder as she blinked languidly. She pulled down the top of the long white hospital gown she was in and we both looked at the smooth skin over her heart. There, pulsing ever so faintly, dimmer even than David's tiny candle flame of a soul, was a light.
"Viv," I said, looking up at her with tears in my eyes, "your soul. "
"I know, right?" She beamed. "Guess I do have one, after all. "
"But how? I mean, why now? Do you think it was building up?"
"No, I know exactly how I got it. And now I finally understand why you weren't dying when I met you, and how you kept getting brighter without taking souls from others. " She reached over and tugged the neck of my shirt down to mimic her own, poking the area above my heart with one cold, bony finger. "See, right there. The others are trying to hide it, but I can see it. And it's brighter, even, than the last time I saw you. "
I looked down and put my hand over my heart, wanting to hold my soul there, to cradle it. Vivian and I knew how precious they were. "It is, isn't it?" I hadn't wanted to hope, but now that she confirmed it, I agreed. I was brighter. Me, not just the extras.
"Yup. Because, lucky Evie, I was right. Everyone loves you. Or enough people, at least, for your little sucky Empty One soul to grow all by itself. I never had that. "
I looked down, feeling guilty. Even with my bizarre life I'd always had it better than her, always had people who cared about me. "So you mean the people who loved me put it there?"
She shrugged. "Heck if I know the mechanics of it. Probably. I'm guessing you loving them helped, too. "
I felt warmer than I ever had before. Because this meant that not only did Lend fill that hole inside me, but Raquel did, and David, and Arianna. And, most important of all, it meant that I had never truly lost Lish. If I had a soul because of the people who loved me and who I loved, then a huge part of it would always be hers.
"So, thanks," Vivian said.
"For what?" I looked up at her, confused.
"For being stupid enough to love your crazy, murdering lunatic of a sister and being such a pathetic dork that I couldn't help but love you, too. "
"That's why you were disappearing," I said. "You were waking up. "
"Because of you. "
This time I was the one to wrap my arms around her in a huge hug. "I'm so glad," I said, my face buried in her hair. "But please, promise me no more killing, okay? I have way too many other things to worry about. Please be a happy thing in my life. "
She laughed, pushing me away. "Ouch. You are all elbows. And no worries. I'm not about to risk my own kick-A soul to mix it with some lame vampire mess. It's too pretty. " She let her head flop back against the couch and closed her eyes. "Besides which, even if I wanted to go hunt for some souls, I'm pretty sure a legless werewolf could outrun me. All your little friends are safe. "
I breathed a sigh of relief, watching her face for any sign she was lying. It remained completely smooth and calm. I wasn't about to invite her to a sleepover with Arianna or anything, but I had to hope that she was sincerely changed. It was all I could do.
"What's going on that's got you so stressed? Dark Queen stuff?"
"Oh, if only that were all. " I explained the entire situation to her from start to finish. At one point I thought she'd fallen asleep, but her eyebrows remained drawn over her closed eyes instead of relaxing. "So," I said after what felt like forever, "I'm going to open up the gate. Tonight, apparently. "
"Wow," she said, exaggerating the lip movements to draw it out. "You have been busy, haven't you. "
"Yup. What do you think? I mean, am I doing the right thing?"
She laughed and opened her eyes, her nearly colorless gray eyes meeting my own. "You're really going to ask me that? My moral compass isn't exactly known for its accuracy. " Her face softened. "Seriously, Ev, I think if anyone can make the right choices in all this mess, you can. Me, I'd just try to kill all of them. Did try to kill all of them, actually. But your way seems better. And less work in the end, because you get rid of them all in one fell swoop. "
I nodded, biting my lip. "It'll work, right?"
She shrugged. "You're the only one of us who's ever made a gate. But sure. I think it'll work. It's why we're here, right? At least one of us can fulfill her destiny. "
"Destiny totally sucks. "
"Don't I know it. "
I stood up, pacing. I'd been debating what to do with her. I wanted to take her home to David's, but putting her around that many paranormal creatures didn't seem like a good idea. Best to ease her back into soul temptation. Because I couldn't deny that even I was drawn to the souls of the paranormals around me, knowing how they'd feel, how they'd fill me. How much worse would it be for Vivian, who had once carried so many?
Yeah. Far away for now. Tonight I'd make sure Raquel was in charge of her. And that Raquel had Tasey. "Reth, are there any faeries with the people we saved?"
"No," he said, his eyes closed, his thick eyelashes the same crescent as the dark circles beneath his eyes. "They are safe there alone, and all the Seelie faeries have gathered with the queen. "<
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"And what about that meadow where we have them? Is it going to, I don't know, poof out of existence as soon as the faeries leave?"
He frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose it will remain as it is. All this will. We created it, but the matter from which it was formed was never ours. I can't see why it would cease to be since we don't do anything to keep the things we make here. Once made, they simply are. "
"Are you sure?"
He opened his eyes. "Of course not. "
I glared. "Well, thank you. "
"Part of my queen's preparations have been gathering food, ensuring there will be enough to sustain the duration of the lives of every mortal tied to this Realm. "
"Assuming this doesn't all just wink out of existence. "
"Yes, assuming that. "
"Well, it's something. " I'd have Jack bring over as much food as he possibly could, but I had no idea how long faerie food would stay good in the normal world. We'd have to make sure everyone was in the mortal realm tonight and hope that all this would still be here after.
"Okay. " I grabbed Vivian's hand and pulled her up off the couch. "You get to go hang out with a bunch of weird, seriously screwed up humans. "
"I'll fit right in, then. "
"My thoughts exactly! I've got some things to do with the faeries, including somehow convincing the Dark Court to join us. You'll be safe in the meadow. " And so will all the paranormals I loved. But I didn't say that part out loud.
"As long as there's a place to lie down I'm good. "
We each took one of Reth's hands, Vivian sliding hers down his arm before wrapping her fingers through his. "I forgot how pretty you are," she purred.
"Have you also forgotten trying to make Evelyn drain my soul?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in a way I'd swear was flirty if Reth were the flirting type.
Vivian laughed. "Nope, I remember that part. "
"And this is awkward. Let's go. " I tugged on Reth's hand, and that horrible twisting thing happened, dumping us in the orange grass. Jack ran immediately over to us.
"I took Lend back home along with a ton of food and most of the calmer people. Where were you?"
I sat heavily on the ground to make everything stop spinning, hugely disappointed that Lend wasn't here to help me not freak out. I gestured to Vivian, who was already lying on her back next to me.
"Meet my sister, Vivian. "
"Wait, the one you put in a coma because she wanted to kill all the paranormals?"
"Yup. "
He reached down and took one of her hands in his own, bending over to kiss it. "Anyone who's personally tried to rid the world of faeries is a friend of mine. "
Vivian laughed again, this throaty laugh that was so unlike mine. I liked it. "Charmed, I'm sure. Now bug off so I can sleep. "
I walked away from Viv, Jack following me, and stood next to Reth, looking at the crowd. He swayed and I moved closer, nudging him with my shoulder until he leaned against me. He was lighter than I thought he'd be, for all his impossible faerie strength.
Most of the people still here had calmed down more or less, and I could see Carlee going from group to group, smiling or listening as the situation called for it. I loved her. It was super bad luck that she'd been sucked into all this but good luck for everyone else. No one could beat Carlee's infinitely perky, innately bubbly personality.
"Keep an eye on Vivian, okay?" I said to Jack. "Just. . . well, make sure she doesn't hurt anyone. You probably want to start taking everyone back right now so you'll all be safe in case the Faerie Realms get messed up. Also bring as much food as you can carry. "
"That sounds promising. "
I shrugged, my attention elsewhere.
Jack followed my eyes to the group of pregnant girls, sitting together away from everyone else. "They're not doing very well," he said. Most of them sat listlessly on the ground, staring into space. One was biting her arm and rocking back and forth. The blond girl was slowly and methodically ripping out her hair. My stomach turned, sick with grief for them.
"Is there anything we can do?" I asked Reth.
"Take them back to the Dark Queen and give them to her. Let the Dark Court take the new Empty Ones so they will think they can leave your world on their own terms with their human pets and reject our offer. "
I closed my eyes, pressing my hands over my stomach, feeling like my own soul wanted to break into a million pieces from too many impossible decisions. "We can't. "
Reth reached out and took my fingers in his own, his touch light but comforting. "I've found that sacrifice is called that for a reason. We have all lost much of what we were or could have been because of the mistakes of my people. We'll yet lose some things to set it right. But when you join eternity, you will not feel the sting of this life with such intensity. "
"You mean I wouldn't feel at all?"
"I feel, my love. Simply not in the same way you do. And thank heavens for that, because you are quite an embarrassment at times. Your inconsistent and flailing passions will no longer be a concern. "
Leave it to Reth to go from comforting me to insulting me in the course of one short conversation. With one last long look at the girls I probably wouldn't be able to save, I tightened my hand around Reth's as he stood straight.
"Okay. Let's go convince the Unseelies I'm their only option and get you all the bleep off my planet. "