In addition, I was health conscious, so I spent a lot of time in the store reading labels to be sure I was not giving my family things that were loaded with sugar or other harmful things.
One day I was extra frustrated with Dave. I was yelling at him, and he finally said, “For crying out loud, Joyce, I’m just trying to have a little fun!” To which I responded, “I did not come here to have fun!” The sad thing was I didn’t do anything to have fun. I was not a very happy person.
As I look back now, it is obvious why I was unhappy, but at the time, I was deceived and didn’t even know it. I just thought everyone else who did not behave according to my standards was lazy or frivolous.
There were times when we did fun things as a family. I even laughed occasionally, but I never felt quite right about it. As I have mentioned, if I was enjoying myself I always felt vaguely guilty, like I was doing something I shouldn’t be doing.
The Bionic Woman
In our society, weakness of any kind is absolutely unacceptable. I used to share that philosophy totally. I somehow felt that as long as I displayed any type of weakness I did not “deserve” to enjoy myself because I hadn’t prayed as long as I should have or I hadn’t read enough chapters in the Bible that day.
I had “rules” about everything. Things other people did became my rules. Things I heard in sermons or read in books became my rules. I even made up my own rules.
I heard once that even though God gave Moses only ten commandments, by the time Jesus came, the people (especially those with a religious spirit) had turned the ten into at least two thousand detailed rules and regulations. I am not sure where I got all of them, but I do know that I definitely lived under a lot of laws, rules and regulations.
The house had to be clean before I could relax and enjoy myself. My behavior had to be good, and I had to display all the fruit of the Spirit. I had to be a good wife, displaying no rebellion or stubbornness. I had to pray for a certain amount of time and read a certain number of chapters in the Bible. If I overate or ate the wrong foods (unhealthy ones) or did not exercise enough, then I did not deserve to enjoy myself … and on and on the list goes.
One evening, my son asked me to watch a movie on television with him. Basically, he said, “Mom, will you stop being ‘spiritual’ for one evening and come in here and just have fun with me?” I knew in my heart that he was right, and I decided to do it. But, I did not really enjoy myself because once again I felt vaguely guilty.
I had advanced in my relationship with God far enough to know that the way I was feeling was not correct. I knew there was nothing sinful about watching a good clean family movie with my son. I finally cried out to God, “Lord, what’s wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?”
During the next twenty-four hours God began revealing some things to me that were to be life changing. He showed me that the weaknesses inherent in some of the other people in my life had been the open door that had brought in much of my pain and abuse. Personality weaknesses had prevented those who should have helped me from doing so. It seemed to me that weak people either got taken advantage of, or their weaknesses caused other people pain.
I had decided I would not be weak! I despised weakness!
Then I had to face the fact that we all have certain weaknesses. We are human. We live in fleshly bodies that get tired. The flesh wars against the spirit, and sometimes we choose to march with the enemy (the flesh). Sometimes we give in to temptation before we even realize what we have done. We have to grow! It takes time! God understands and is willing to be longsuffering, patient, slow to anger, kind and merciful. But we must become willing to accept His graciousness.
Our heavenly Father delights in blessing us, sometimes when we do not “deserve” it. I wanted to earn everything — to deserve everything. And when I did not feel that I had done my part, or my best, then I would not permit myself to enjoy anything.
No one else was doing all this to me.
I was my own worst enemy. I would not permit myself to enjoy anything unless I thought I deserved it!
This revelation from the Holy Spirit was a major breakthrough for me, but I still had to apply it. (Once we see truth, it will set us free, but only when applied.) I began applying my new-found freedom in everyday life. I did my best every day because I loved Jesus, but each day I failed to hit the mark of “perfection.”
I began to attempt to balance my life. Work … rest … play … laughter … time with God … time with Dave … time with my children … time with myself. I was learning that, To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven (Eccl. 3:1). The term “under heaven” means, on the earth.
“Spiritual” Christians Who Are No Earthly Good
So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31
We are on the earth, and there are earthly things that we must tend to. We cannot be “spiritual” all the time. But, if any person has what I call a “religious spirit” about him, he will either ignore the natural things he should be taking care of and create a major problem in his life, or if he does take care of the earthly or secular things, he will not enjoy them.
He will always be rushing through those mundane things, trying to get back to some spiritual activity, because it is only then that he feels good about himself. He only feels approved by God when he is doing what he thinks are “spiritual” things.
We must learn that we can communicate with God while doing the laundry as well as on bended knee. I personally believe God prefers a person with whom to fellowship who talks with Him intermittently throughout the day to one who sets a clock for a certain amount of time. The instant the time is up, he cuts off communication with God until the next day.
The Lord is ever present and always available to fellowship with us or to help us with our needs.
I greatly advocate setting aside special time to fellowship with God and to pray and study. But, in order to enjoy my entire life, I had to learn that He is willing to be involved in everything I do.
According to 1 Corinthians 10:31, we are to do all that we do to the glory of God, which includes the secular realm as well as the spiritual realm. In Luke 19:13 KJV Jesus taught us to “occupy” until He comes. The Hebrew root word from which the term “occupy” was translated means “to busy oneself.”1 I believe that what Jesus meant was that we are to look for His coming with great expectancy, and until He comes, live our lives to the fullest.
God’s Presence Makes the Place Holy
And Moses said, I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush is not burned.
And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the midst of the bush and said, Moses, Moses! And he said, Here am I.
God said, Do not come near; put your shoes off your feet, for the place on which you stand is holy ground.
Exodus 3:3-5
God called me into ministry while I was in my bedroom making my bed and talking with Him. Making a bed is a rather mundane thing. There isn’t anything particularly spiritual or exciting about it, yet God chose to speak to me about taking a direction that would greatly alter the entire course of my life and my family’s lives while I was in my home engaged in this very ordinary, everyday activity.
If you and I will let Him into every area of our lives, we will be amazed at the times and places the Lord will speak to us.
When God appeared to Moses at the burning bush, He told Him to take his sandals off his feet because the place on which he was standing was holy ground. A few seconds before God showed up, it was ordinary ground — now it had become holy ground. His presence made it holy! His presence is in the believer who has accepted Jesus Christ as Savior.
We are God’s tabernacle. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Cor. 6:19.) He lives in us! Wherever we go, He goes. If we go to the grocery store, He goes. If we go play golf, He goes. If we go to the park w
ith our children, He goes.
All these ordinary things are things we either must do, or should do, to maintain balance in our lives. The things we do and the places we go in our everyday lives are not holy in themselves, but when we go there and do them, God has promised to be with us. And any place God is becomes holy.
Secular things can become sacred things when the Lord is present. If you and I do all that we do for the honor and glory of God, then it can all be done with an awareness of His presence.
Not all things are of equal value when compared with other things. Some things like prayer or Bible study may be of more eternal value, but that does not mean that God disapproves of the other things or that they are not to be enjoyed.
I believe we should celebrate life, and in order to do so, we must learn to celebrate every aspect of it. All the parts make the whole. Webster defines the word celebrate in part as “to observe an occasion with … festivity.”2 Life is certainly a special occasion and should be celebrated with festivities, especially a festive attitude. Our daily confession should be Psalm 118:24 KJV: This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Enjoy Life!
Too often we attempt to be “bionic Christians,” and, if we are not careful, we will become so spiritually minded we won’t be any earthly good. We read about the great men and women of God in the Bible and Church history who did great exploits. If we are not on our guard, we may begin to feel that unless we are doing great exploits, nothing we are doing is worthwhile.
But we must remember that those people did not do great exploits day in and day out. We hear about the great things they accomplished in the spiritual realm, but they had a secular side to their lives also. They got up in the morning with bad breath just like the rest of us. They had to make a living and deal with unpleasant people. They had to clean house, get along with their mates and take care of their children. And they had to learn to maintain balance; otherwise, books would not have been written about them, because those people probably would have been devoured by the enemy.
When I say that we should enjoy ourselves, I am not promoting carnality. I simply mean that we should enjoy all of life.
How many people raise children but never take time to enjoy them? How many millions of people are married and do not really enjoy their mate?
In 1 Peter 3:1,2 wives are instructed to enjoy their husbands, and Proverbs 5:18 counsels men to rejoice in the wife of their youth. There would be a lot less divorce and many more truly happy marriages if couples would decide to enjoy each other and rejoice in each other instead of trying to change each other.
Learn to enjoy people. Enjoy your spouse, your family and your friends. Learn to enjoy your own unique personality and individuality. Don’t spend all your time alone, picking yourself apart.
Enjoy your home. Enjoy some of your money now. Don’t make the mistake of always looking ahead to retirement, at which time you think you will do all the things you always wanted to do in life, but never took the time for.
There is a practical side to life. If we live it with a legalistic, rigid mindset, it will not be enjoyable. Jesus came that we might have life and enjoy it to the full, until it overflows. Do your best to assure that His purpose is fulfilled.
I have always enjoyed what Paul said in Philippians 3:12: Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp) and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own.
In this reference, Paul was talking about perfection and pressing toward the mark, but I believe this is a spiritual principle that we can apply to all of God’s goals for us.
I am determined to enjoy my life — all of it!
I am also determined to live a holy life, develop the fruit of the Spirit, fulfill the call of God on my fife, learn the Word of God, have an awesome prayer life and many other things. Some of these latter things may sound more spiritual than saying, “I am determined to enjoy my life,” but in God’s eyes, I believe they are all important.
Spiritual Burnout
When people get out of balance with spiritual activity they usually experience spiritual burnout.
You and I do not need to be at some church function six or seven times a week, and then spend whatever time we do have at home sitting in a room by ourselves reading the Bible and doing spiritual warfare.
We need balance.
When you ask so many Christians today, “How are you?” the response is, “Tired.” Others say, “Busy.” God is not impressed with our fatigue or our “busyness.” Although the Lord has told us to “occupy” until He comes, He has never told us to get so “occupied” that we wear ourselves out.
In Matthew 11:28 Jesus said, Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] The labor and burden that Jesus was referring to here was specifically the labor and burden imposed on the people by the Pharisees (the religious elite) in their overzealous attempt to keep the Law.
In Matthew 23:4, speaking of the scribes and Pharisees, Jesus said, They tie up heavy loads, hard to bear, and place them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves will not lift a finger to help bear them.
When is enough going to be enough? Enough will never be enough as long as you and I are dealing with these Pharisee-type religious spirits that work through other people and even our own thoughts and emotions.
Finally, in Matthew 11:18,19 Jesus said of these people, For John came neither eating nor drinking [with others], and they say, He has demon! The Son of Man came eating and drinking [with others,], and thye say, Behold, a glutton and a wine drinker, a friend and of tax collectors and [especially wicked] sinners!. . .
The “Super religious” did not approve of John. Yet when Jesus came and did what they said they wanted John to do, they did not approve of Jesus either. No matter how right we may be, it will never be right enough if we listen to those who make unbalanced demands.
Jesus told the people of that time to come to Him and He would ease their burden and refresh them from their labor. In Mattew 11:30 He added, For My yoke is pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and saying that the yoke the Law had placed on them the yoke the Law had placed on them was harsh, hard, sharp, and pressing—a yoke they could not bear without burnout.
The same principle applies to us today.
Stop and Smeel the Roses
A fine Christian women recently told me, “I just cannot do it all any longer. I need some time to take care of my dog and my home, and I need some time for myself.”
She went on to say, “I feel like all I do is work and run to church activities. I am sick of looking at church people Sometimes they are so ‘super spiritual, it is nauseating.”
She indicated that she wanted to laugh and have some fun, and she was not advocating carnality. She simply was not really enjoying being a Christian, and the cause was excessive spirituality.
She related an incident in which she had invited a man she worked with to a Christian concert. The man was not born again, and she was hoping the concert would be an open door for him to accept Jesus as Savior. She was appalled at how her Christian friends behaved. They had no sensitivity to where he was spiritually.
On the ride to the concert, all they did was talk “spiritual talk”—things like casting out demons—continually using “Charismatic phrases” the man didn’t even understand. This woman said, “I was so embarrassed that I wanted to craw into a hold. I could hardly wait to get away from them”
I don’t believe she was embarrassed about witnessing for Jesus, but what her friends were doing was out of season. It was not the proper time for it.
All of these things together had brought her to a place of “spiritual burnout.” Once that occurs, people usually want to back off totally, and unchecked, it is an opportunity to backslide.
We need balance!
Satan is into excess. Excess is his playground. If he is successful at keeping us from doing something, his next method is to tempt us to do too much of it.
God has taken time and effort to create a beautiful world for us. What a tragedy to never take the time to enjoy it.
As people often say, “Stop and smell the roses.” Even in the midst of work, learn to take five-minute vacations. Stop, look around and take time to enjoy what you observe. Perhaps you will see a child laughing, and it will be a reminder to your of something important.
Sometimes I see an elderly person who reminds me that someday my life will be coming to a close and I should enjoy it now. Looking at a field of wheat reminds me of seedtime and harvest — an awesome principle that our awesome God has established in the earth.
A few years ago, I was in Costa Rica on a ministry trip. We were driving along one day when, all of a sudden, I experienced a sad realization. We had been in some spectacular mountains for four hours, and yet I had not seen them. What was I doing? I was thinking! Probably about how to solve some problem.
I had an opportunity of a lifetime in front of me. The mountains and the countryside were absolutely beautiful, and yet I had not taken the time to even look at them. I was doing “internal work”! That is what reasoning is — “internal work.”
As the commercial says, we only get to go around once in life. The Bible says that … it is appointed unto men once to die …(Heb. 9:27 KJV). But it is also appointed once to live.
I saw a movie recently in which a man was a workaholic. His life was controlled by working and making business deals and accumulating money. He had a brother who was the exact opposite. He never finished anything in life, was lazy, and did nothing but entertain himself.
Both men were out of balance. The brother who had spent all of his life working had never really enjoyed anything. He had developed no relationships, had never been married; he went through the motions of entertaining, but it was all business to him.