Kissing Dante was a feast in and of itself.
I drank more water.
“And as far as kids…”
Stop talking, Chris, just stop talking.
“I think we should get started right away. I mean neither of us are getting any younger, so why not?”
Sure, why not? Having children was totally the same as picking out a house or a paint color or moving.
I pressed a hand to my chest to keep from choking up the water I’d just drank.
“Hmm, have you asked El about any of this?” Dante finally joined the conversation. “What if she hates kids? Hell, what if she hates houses and wants to live in an RV. You gonna buy her an RV?”
“Um…” Chris looked between us. “Yeah, I guess I would.”
“That’s nice.” Dante tipped back the rest of Chase’s wine. “Isn’t that nice everyone? What a fucking gentleman this guy, buying her whatever her heart desires… because… you love her right?”
Chris’s eyes narrowed. “I think I could, yeah, what’s not to love?”
“Absolutely nothing.” Dante’s eyes met mine, the intensity was back, the soul-searching gripping flicker grew behind the icy blue gaze.
“What about you, Dante?” Chris asked leaning his elbows on the table, like an animal. “Anyone special in your life.”
“Yup.” He said it so quickly I almost got whiplash from the small time it took for me to look from Chris’s elbows to Dante’s smug face. “Or I guess you could say, I had her…” He didn’t once look at me. The table fell silent. “She’s got legs for days, though that’s not the first thing I noticed about her.”
Chris grinned seemingly excited the spotlight was off of him. “Oh yeah, what’s the first thing you noticed?”
Dante was quiet and then he spoke slowly, confidently. “Her pain.”
Chris frowned and looked around the table, his eyes finally landing on me. I was too stunned to speak.
“And the sexy as hell way that she rose above it, continues to rise above it, every day of her life.” He stood. “I loved that girl.”
“What happened to her?” Chris asked his eyes ping ponging between me and Dante.
“Beauty was never supposed to end up with the beast, Chris, she marries the prince. That’s what happened.” He grabbed the wine bottle, scooted his chair back, and walked out.
I was breathing so hard I was afraid I was going to pass out.
I made eye contact with Chase.
His face was indifferent except for the small smile that curved his lips and the quick wink he sent me all before he spoke. “Hey, Chris, have I ever told you the story about the white horse?”
“I uh,” I cleared my throat. “I’m going to use the bathroom.”
I was calm until I reached the hallway.
Calm until I reached my room.
And then I became a hot mess when I walked through the bathroom and found Dante in his. Barefoot with jeans and a T-shirt on, drinking wine straight from the bottle.
“Underage drinking.” I nodded. “Rough day?”
He shrugged. “Rough existence, and I think if I’m old enough to kill in cold blood, I’m allowed alcohol whenever the hell I want it.”
“Good point.”
The minute our eyes met.
A buzzing awareness filled the space between my ears. My head was full of it full of the way just being in the same room with him made me feel.
“Tell me the truth,” I pleaded. “Did you mean it? Any of it?”
“El,” He groaned and placed the bottle on his desk, before turning back around and holding my face roughly between his two hands. “Every. Word.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “Then I guess that’s that.”
His nostrils flared as he dropped his hands from my face and ran them through his dark hair. I expected him to give up. To do the noble thing. To be the guy I didn’t want him to be anymore.
Instead, when he turned back around his eyes were wild, the monster was back — and I was relieved.
“Fuck this.” Our mouths slammed together in a painful kiss as he lifted me into his arms, my legs tangled around his as we stumbled backward hitting his desk, sending the wine bottle flying along with everything else on top of it. And the whole time his mouth never left mine.
This side of him, this wild side, I would never get enough of it, enough of the way he angled his mouth over mine or pulled my hair to get better access just painful enough to be erotic. His fingers dug into my scalp only to leave as he pulled my shirt over my head. A ripple of tension pulled and snapped again when his teeth met my shoulder like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to bite me or kiss me again.
He chose both.
I swayed into his strong arms, trying to gain a footing, or some sort of control, but he only kissed me again, the taste of wine invaded my mouth, it was rich, intoxicating — heady just like Dante.
Words weren’t spoken.
Maybe they just weren’t needed.
Not when the line had already been crossed.
Dante’s expression was full of pain when he finally broke free enough to pace in front of me. “He can’t have you.”
I nodded, tears filled my eyes. “Not when someone else already does.”
Dante stilled. “I won’t stop. I’m seriously lacking in self-control in every area in my life, El. When it comes to you it’s a miracle I have any.” His lips were wet from my kiss, his shirt looked like I’d been twisting it in an effort to keep him closer and somehow there was a scratch down the side of his neck.
I think I made it.
I bit down on my lip then jumped into his arms. He caught me, like he knew I was going to jump.
He kissed me without reservation, this time, pawing at my bra before saying. “Next time.”
Next time?
He pulled my skirt up over my hips. “Damn,” He groaned, pulling my underwear aside as I fumbled to unbutton his pants.
They slid, and hung on his hips.
No boxers.
No briefs.
Heaven.
I reached for him.
He gritted his teeth. “Any other time I would die happy to let you touch me, any other time I’d think I wasn’t doing my job if you weren’t screaming out my name, but your guy, the one you’re about to dump, the one I’ve been itching to punch, is two rooms down.”
“Meaning?” I stole more words from his mouth with my kisses. He let me. His tongue plunged inside making me see stars, the way he kissed wasn’t like anything I’d ever experienced. Every flick of his tongue sent me further and further into darkness I never wanted to wake up from.
“Fuck, you’re killing me, El.” His lips found mine again, two more times, and then he was sitting me on the freezing desk. “Just… you know what? I don’t even care, scream all you want, yell my name, make sure he knows you’re mine and that nobody deserves you.”
“I don’t want to be deserved,” I confessed. “I just want to be yours.”
We locked eyes, and then he was lifting me to the edge of the desk and I was trying to figure out how I didn’t realize how much the guy had been packing.
He surged forward invading me so hard and fast that I shrieked and then sucked in a much needed breath.
“Okay?” He stilled. “Because I’m trying not to split you in half, I swear—”
“More.” I gripped his elbows and slid onto him more forcefully as he lifted one of my legs and angled inside. I gripped his shirt like a lifeline, pulling him harder and harder against me until I couldn’t breathe, until all I felt were his thrusts and my own body pulsing around his length.
“Shit, El.” Dante braced his left hand against the table and kissed me again, lips slid, tongues tangled in an effort to feel more, to go deeper, to get more out of this small moment.
A blast of heat hit me, my thighs clenched around him.
“El,” he said my name reverently. “I’m here, just let go.”
I’d never let go.
Had no idea what it felt like.
And had no idea it could be like this.
“Then it’s over,” I said with an anguished voice. “This can’t be over.”
“Look at me,” Dante demanded.
Our eyes met.
“It’s not over — because it’s just beginning.”
“Promise me.” I clenched harder.
He cupped my chin, and kissed me softly on the lips before whispering in my ear. “I swear.”
It was all I needed to hear, to find my release to give my body completely over to both monster and man.
He surged forward as the desk slammed against the wall behind us, his kiss was rough, possessive as he climaxed, his breathing still ragged.
“I have an idea.” Voice rough, he pushed the hair out of my face. “We should stay here forever. On this desk, have people send food. That sort of thing.”
I laughed a real laugh and kissed him again, just because I could. “If only, huh?”
“If only,” he repeated with one last brush of his lips against my cheek.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Dante
I LICKED MY lips, tasting her there, craving more.
I pulled up my pants.
She tugged down her skirt.
And I kissed her again like a greedy bastard.
She let me, hooking her legs around me yet again.
“Shit.” Our foreheads knocked together softly. “At this rate we’ll never get back to dinner.”
“You think they’ll know?” she asked in a small voice. I eyed her mussed hair, swollen lips, and fuck-me gaze.
I looked away. “Not at all.”
She smacked me on the arm. “You didn’t look at me.”
“Because I’m lying.” I cupped her face and gave her one more kiss, sucking her bottom lip so hard that it made a popping noise before I pulled away. “Just… act normal.”
“Normal.” She chewed that same bottom lip.
I groaned and ran my hands over my head and face. “I’ll go first.”
She gave me a jerky nod.
I quickly left the room and shut the door behind me, then took my time walking down the hall, arrogant as fuck because my dick was still pulsing with the aftershock of being inside her.
The kitchen was loud as usual.
But the minute I took my seat.
Silence enveloped me.
I reached for my water and locked eyes with Chris. A smug expression crossed my face before I could stop myself. My entire body was gloating from the way I could feel my muscles straining against my clothes, my lips swollen from her kisses, my hair mussed from her hands. My shirt wrinkled from her constant tugging.
Eat your heart out, Chris. Mine.
“So,” Chase spoke first. “You just skipped dinner and went straight for dessert huh?”
He winced, someone must have kicked him under the table.
I shrugged. “What can I say? You know I have a sweet tooth.”
“Man loves his cookies.” Chase nodded.
“Nothing better than a soft, warm,” I grinned at Chris. “Cookie.”
His eyes narrowed.
El walked swiftly back into the room, her hands were fidgety as she patted down her hair and took her seat next to Chris.
The best part? She didn’t look like she’d just been screwed against a desk — she looked like she’d just been loved.
Her cheeks were flushed, her lips were a cherry red, and her eyes, they kept darting over to me even though I could tell she was trying not to look at me.
“What about you?” Chris turned to her. “You eat desert too?”
Everyone watched, with rapt attention.
“Dante buys her cookies,” Chase said cheerfully. “So she probably licked some of his — wouldn’t be the first time.”
I jabbed him hard in the ribs.
Chris shoved his chair back and eyed Nixon. “A word?”
Nixon glared at me before nodding at Chris, they left, the door to Nixon’s study slammed shut.
And utter chaos ensued.
“HOLY SHIT!” Chase tossed his napkin on the table. “We could hear you! Nixon said he left the TV on, but c’mon man! No TV makes that kinda noise unless it’s two a.m. on Starz!”
El covered her face with her hands.
Tex clapped slowly. “Didn’t think you had it in you.” He lifted his glass in my direction while Phoenix and Sergio exchanged money.
“Wait!” I stood and pointed. “What the hell! You guys took bets?”
Phoenix didn’t even look guilty. “Entertaining as hell watching you try to do the noble thing.”
“One word,” Sergio put his arm around Val who refused to make eye contact with me, for obvious reasons. “Mafia.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I asked the table.
“It means,” Chase chuckled. “That sometimes our moral compass is a bit… skewed, I was almost afraid yours was broken, what guy would walk away from that.”
“Stare at her like that again and I fight you,” I growled.
Chase held up his hands. “I rest my case.”
“Bastards all of you,” I grumbled.
And then Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out a hundred dollar bill and slid it toward Phoenix too.
“You too?” I roared. “Frank, man that’s low, was anyone on my side?”
Blank stares.
I think El wanted to crawl under the table and hide by the time Nixon and Chris returned.
Chris looked at El, then at me, then back at El and said, “You’re letting the better man walk away, I hope you know that.”
I don’t remember throwing my chair back, I don’t even know how I made it to his side of the room so fast. I lifted him up against the wall, and pressed a knife to his throat. “Say it again, I dare you.”
The room was quiet again.
“Say it!” I roared.
Nobody was stopping me. The anger was over powering, I shook with it, shook with the need to cut out his throat for saying something so — true in front of El.
I knew I was the lesser man.
“Don’t you fucking think,” I said in a low voice, “I know she deserves more than this.” I pulled the knife away and shook my head. “Get out.”
He hesitated.
“Wrong choice.” I gripped him by the shirt and shoved him toward the door. He turned around, gave me a disgusted look and left.
Adrenaline coursed through me as I turned back to the dinner table.
Everyone acted like nothing happened.
Everyone except Mil.
She locked eyes with me, then narrowed them at El, like I’d somehow just complicated her life in a big way.
Chase took one look at my expression and followed my eyes. Mil looked down and then excused herself from the table.
Ten minutes later.
And she was pulling her car out of the driveway.
Chase saw, we all saw.
“If she’s hiding something she’s doing it in plain sight,” Nixon said as we cleaned dishes. “Which means only one thing.”
I handed him a towel. “What’s that?”
“Damage control.”
“On her end?”
He nodded. “She knows we know. She has nothing left to lose, and a desperate person is not someone I want to fight.”
“Because they don’t fight fair?” I guessed.
“Because they have nothing left to lose.” He hung his head. “And we have everything.”
The timing couldn’t have been worse, El walked in the room holding Nixon’s baby girl, Trace laughed at something El said.
Nixon’s massive body shuddered like he’d just been hit with something.
“I’ve got this,” I reassured him. “I’ve been tailing her every day, we’ll figure something out.”
He sighed. “El doesn’t want Chris, she wants you.”
My body heated at the thought of being with her again. “Even if I’m bad for her.
”
“Let her be the judge of that.”
Once El approached, Nixon kissed his girl on the head and motioned to both of us. “My office, now.”
I grabbed El’s hand, needing to touch her for reassurance. It was going to be fine. I’d protect her until my dying breath.
Funny how I never wanted to be put in that position, it made me so angry I couldn’t see straight.
But now I saw the anger for the farce it was.
I wasn’t angry.
I was terrified.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
El
POLISHED WOOD, EXPENSIVE art, a sideboard with at least seven different kinds of expensive whiskey, and the smell of cigars — and in the corner a flat screen TV. His office was as big as the bedroom they were letting me stay in. Everything was chic, pricey, and modern.
Xavier never had nice things, I remember one time having to beg him to buy groceries, he didn’t care about taking care of anyone or anything but himself.
His idea of being in the mafia was all about destruction.
Nixon’s family was about life.
Dante released my hand as the door shut behind us, letting Phoenix in the room. He stood silent behind us as Nixon paced in front.
My anxiety skyrocketed when Nixon didn’t speak for another two minutes before putting his hands on his hips and facing us. “El, I’m sorry, but you can’t stay.”
I sucked in a sharp breath.
Dante tried to lunge for Nixon.
Phoenix held him back.
“What the hell, Nixon!” Dante roared.
“Let me finish,” Nixon snapped.
My stomach dropped. I had nowhere to go. Nobody to protect me. No family. Outside of the Italian mafia — the only place I could run was to my own death.
I should have accepted Chris.
Should have just accepted the card that was dealt.
My head suddenly felt heavy like it was going to roll off my body as I started falling to the ground.
Dante’s arms caught me instantly.
Phoenix must have let him go.
I just needed to sit.
Or something.
Dante knelt at my side while Nixon continued to speak as if I hadn’t just nearly passed out from the last sentence he shot into the universe.
“You can’t stay,” he repeated, unnecessarily since the first time nearly sent me into hysterics. Funny how the prison now felt like home. “Unless you marry him.”