“Yes, that’s where we met him,” Thrace said impatiently. “How in the Seven Hells did he get aboard?”
“My fault.” She passed a trembling hand over her eyes. “There was a distress call and he put up a false image. Trin left me in charge while the two of you were on Yonnie Six and I let him in. He’s already killed Terra and Jola is wounded… Oh Goddess of Judgment, what have I done?” Her eyes filled with tears but Thrace had no time for comfort or consolation.
“Listen to me.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook once, briefly. “What’s done is done. However he got aboard, he’s here now. What I need to know is, where is Trin? Has he hurt her?”
Sidna sniffed and swiped at her eyes.
“Two has her on the bridge. I don’t think he’s harmed her physically but there’s definitely something wrong with her. She keeps complaining of being hot…says she can’t breathe and she’s so thirsty but Two won’t let any of us give her a drink.”
“The bastard.” Thrace started off down the metal hallway in long strides but Sidna hurried after him.
“Be careful! He said if you try to take her away or shoot him, he’ll kill her!”
“I’ll be careful,” Thrace snarled. “And that son-of-a-bitch had better be careful too. If he’s harmed Trin in any way I’ll fucking kill him!”
As he spoke the last words, he rounded the corner that led into the control area of the ship. Sure enough, there was Two, standing with one arm wrapped around Trin’s slim waist. With his other hand, he held a deadly looking snub-nosed dissipater to her temple.
“Two,” Thrace spat.
“In the flesh.” Two nodded genially.
He looked much the same as he had when Thrace first met him in The Demon’s Eye except that his skin was considerably paler and the blackish brown spots on the exposed part of his brain seemed to have grown, like some kind of rot spreading in the gray, spongy tissue.
“You’ll kill me, will you?” he drawled, grinning widely to show all his metal teeth. “Yes, I expect you will at that. But not yet, my dear Havoc. Not…quite…yet.” He nodded down at the female in his arms. “First you might want to have a look at your mistress.”
His heart in his throat, Thrace looked more closely at the slender figure still draped in the deep green dress with its white lace panels. Trin didn’t look well at all. In fact, the dissipater Two was holding on her barely seemed necessary. She was sagging in his grip, her cheeks flushed and her lips parted as she tried to breathe.
“Trin? Trin!” Thrace felt a shock of fear and desperation race through him.
“Th-thrace?” Her eyelids parted a crack and she looked at him with dull eyes.
“Trin? Baby—are you okay?”
“No.” She shook her head weakly. “So hot and so…so thirsty.”
Thrace glared at Two. “What’s wrong with her? What did you do to her?”
“Why, I have no idea what’s wrong with her.” Two shrugged his boney shoulders eloquently. “She was like this when she got here.”
“Trin listen to me—what happened?” Thrace leaned closer to her but Two drew back, pressing the muzzle of the dissipater hard against her temple.
“Ah-ah-ah, my dear Havoc. Keep your distance for now.”
“But what happened? What’s wrong with her?”
“He…he gave me a drink.” Trin’s eyes were heavy-lidded and she seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “Back on…on Yonnie Six. After I ran…ran away from you.”
“Two gave you a drink?”
“No…” She shook her head sluggishly. “Lord…Lord X. He gave me a drink. Made my lips numb. Started feeling…funny. And now I’m so…so hot. So thirsty.”
Thrace was beginning to get a bad feeling about this. A very bad feeling.
“It made you hot, you say? What did he give you?”
“Don’t know.” She shook her head weakly.
“Well, I do,” Two said brightly. He turned to Trin. “But that doesn’t matter. What matters is how thirsty poor little Trin is now.”
The long boney hand wrapped around Trin’s waist snaked down out of sight and returned holding a flask. Two popped off the lid and waved it enticingly under her nose.
“Wh..what is that?” Trin’s eyes opened a little wider. “So thirsty…something to drink?”
“Something delicious,” Two promised with a sneering smile. “Something that will quench your thirst forever.”
“No!” Suddenly it all clicked into place for Thrace. “No, don’t Trin! Don’t drink it—it’s poison!”
He lunged forward but she was already grasping the flask Two held to her lips and gulping thirstily.
Shoving the dissipater Two held to one side, Thrace tore the flask away from Trin’s lips. But it was too late—he could see the blood-red ribbon of wine sliding from the corner of her mouth. Drugged wine, and he knew what it was drugged with.
“Ah-ah—step back for just a moment, if you please.” Two had regained his grip on the dissipater and was holding it on Thrace now. “Just give it a moment to take effect.” He looked down at Trin. “Better now, my dear?”
“I…think so.” Trin straightened up, her eyes looking clearer than they had before. But her cheeks were still flushed and her breathing was rapid and shallow. “What happened?”
“Why, you took the third drink, my dear.” Two smiled at her nastily. “The third drink of passion berry wine. Don’t you remember? The first drink makes you cold…the second makes you hot…and the third drink…”
“Makes you dead. Oh my Goddess!” Trin put a hand to her mouth. “But, that’s not possible! I was sure the first drink was completely out of my system.”
“It would have been…with normal passion berries.” Two grinned. “But you see, these are a special strain I’ve been developing in my spare time. You know, between killing people for B’Rugh, tracking down the two of you, hiring the most deadly assassin in this galaxy or any other for another little side project I have… He shrugged modestly. “It’s just a hobby, really.”
“You bastard, you’ve killed her.” Thrace felt like he was going to die himself. He couldn’t bear to lose Trin—not now that he was aligned with her, not when he finally knew his own mind and heart and knew that he loved her.
This is why the Havoc don’t bond, he thought dully, watching her flushed cheeks and rapid breathing. Because tying yourself so closely to a female rips your fucking heart out. But it was too late—he was tied to her. Tied so closely that if she died, he knew he would want to follow her into death.
“No, I haven’t killed her.” Two smiled, showing his metal teeth again. “She can still be saved, as you well know.”
“Not by you,” Thrace snarled, feeling sick. “Get your fucking hands off her, now!”
“Gladly.” Two removed his hands from Trin’s waist and shoulder and gave her a little push towards Thrace. “Now that she’s had the third drink, she’s all yours, Havoc.”
“Thrace?” Trin looked up at him as he pulled her against his side.
“It’s all right, baby,” he murmured, stroking her shoulders. “Everything is going to be all right.” Which was a complete lie and he knew it. He glared at Two. “Why did you do this?” he demanded. “Why target us in this way? Is it revenge for what happened in The Demon’s Eye?”
“Well, that is the nominal reason, yes. I promised B’Rugh that I would make you both suffer—which is why I arranged for Trin to see your past using the nightmare vapor. I wanted her to know exactly what kind of male you were—wanted her to know what had been done to you.”
“So you’re the one who pumped the gas into our room,” Thrace growled
“No, no—I said I arranged for it to happen. I had hoped that when faced with Lady Tam-tam’s request, Trin would…ah violate you in the same way you had been hurt in the past. Such an event would surely have triggered a most violent and interesting reaction.” He sighed deeply. “Unfortunately she refused to do so and I was forced to resort to pla
n B—the passion berry juice.”
“You bastard,” Thrace said thickly.
“Indeed.” Two’s eyes gleamed. “I promised B’Rugh you would suffer and suffer you shall. Now it will be you who is forced to do the violating, my dear Havoc. You can still save her—if you take her in a way she has sworn never to be taken.”
“You know I can’t do that,” Thrace said angrily.
“You’ll have to. You can save her body and damn her soul…or you can save her soul and watch her die in your arms.” Two spread his hands. “The choice is yours.”
“Why?” Trin whispered and Thrace could feel her trembling against his side. “I still don’t understand why you’re doing this to us.”
“You don’t need to know.” Two smiled coldly. “Suffice it to say my reasons have to do with a foretelling of the future. The future not just of you two, but of a whole race. But we can talk later.” He looked at Thrace. “For now, hadn’t you better tend to your mistress? She’s looking a little worse for the wear.”
Suddenly Thrace felt Trin sag against him. He looked down to see that her eyes were half-lidded and she was panting.
“Thrace, something is wrong. I feel…so strange,” she whispered. “What’s wrong with me? Is it the passion berries?”
“Probably.” He lifted her gently into his arms and cradled her against him. Then he glared at Two. “This isn’t over.”
“No, of course not.” Two looked positively gleeful. “And it won’t be until you either cure her in a way that is forbidden to her…or watch her die. Either way, I’ll wait.” He folded his arms across his skinny chest and grinned. “Just take your time.”
* * * * *
Trin was feeling decidedly strange as Thrace carried her back to her quarters, the long green dress dragging limply down his arm. At least it no longer felt like it was made of stifling fur and her skin wasn’t burning up anymore. But something else was wrong with her—something that went deeper than heat or cold.
The passion berries, she thought numbly. I’ve had three drinks. I’m going to die.
“You’re not going to die.” Thrace muttered, as if answering her morbid thoughts. He carried her into her quarters and locked the door. Then he set her on her feet. “I won’t let you die, Trin—I swear it.”
“How…how are you going to stop it?”
He tilted her chin so he could gaze into her eyes. His face was deadly serious and his voice was soft.
“You know there’s only one way to stop it.”
“Only one way,” she echoed, feeling dizzy and weak. “You…you have to penetrate me. Fuck me.”
“I have to make love to you.” He stroked her cheek. “We have to make love together until I fill you with my seed. It’s the only way.”
“We can’t…I can’t.” But even as she spoke, she felt the familiar heat building in her body. The tingling in the tips of her breasts, the hot, swollen feeling between her legs that meant she wanted his touch. Why did she want him so much? Was it just the passion berries…or something else?
“It’s the only way,” Thrace repeated. He looked at her intently. “I know you weren’t raised to do this—I know you think it’s wrong. But your body wants mine as mine wants yours.” He buried his face in her neck and inhaled deeply before pulling back to look at her. “I can smell the need on you.” His voice was a low, soft growl. “All I’m asking, Trin, is that you give in to that need—just once. Just long enough to save your life. I…” His voice grew hoarse. “I can’t stand here and watch you die. I care too much for you to do that.”
“We shouldn’t,” Trin whispered but she was already in his arms. “I should be willing to die before I allow a male to penetrate my body. I should be willing to lay down my life rather than commit such sacrilege.”
“It’s not a sacrilege—it’s a sacrament,” he insisted earnestly. “I don’t believe in the Goddess but in this I do believe. I won’t hurt you, Trin—I’ll do everything in my power to make sure it’s a pleasurable experience for you. I’ll make you come again and again but please…let me save your life—don’t make me watch you die. Please.” His voice broke on the last word and Trin felt herself breaking inside too.
“What about you?” she whispered pleadingly. “Won’t this cut your life span in half? I can’t do that to you—I can’t ask you to sacrifice your life for me.”
“That’s only if what we do causes a bond,” Thrace said. “And even then—”
“That’s right—the bond!” Trin drew back from him, her heart in her mouth. “We…I can’t risk that. Can’t risk tying us together for life!”
“We have to risk it—it’s the only way,” Thrace said grimly. “Besides—I know what you think of me—know you don’t want to be tied to me. So I’ll do my best not to bond you to me.”
“I…I never meant…I just thought…” Trin couldn’t finish her thought.
She stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest, shivering. The wine she had drunk was having a strange effect on her body—first she was hot, then she was cold and always she could feel her desire growing, her clit throbbing like a second heartbeat between her legs and her nipples tingling. The rapidly shifting sensations made it hard to think but she told herself she had to—had to reason this out before all reason left her.
I can’t do this…I shouldn’t do this. But why? It wasn’t that she feared to lose her status as one of the Unpenetrated—that had already happened. Once she would have felt that submitting herself to a male’s shaft would make her less of a woman—but she no longer really felt that way anymore. Not after getting to know Thrace as a person. If those were the only obstacles in the way, she would have gladly given him permission to save her life. But there was more—the deep seated belief, instilled in childhood, that doing this—that allowing a male to penetrated her—was a slap in the face of the goddess she worshipped. Blasphemy…sacrilege…the worst kind of depravity.
Trin remembered kneeling at the feet of the statue of the Goddess of Judgment on the day she had been dedicated at the temple. She had been only twelve cycles old and just that week the priestesses had been teaching her and the other girls in her class about the filthy, immoral practices of other planets. Planets where males and females lived and mingled together in sexual union. There had been pictures too—drawings of huge, brutish males taking females from behind, forcing their thick shafts into the females’ bodies while the objects of their lust writhed in agony and shame.
“This is what will become of you if you allow a male to penetrate you,” one of the greater sisters—Sister Honor—had lectured in a low, serious voice. “A male will use you like trash—defile and abuse you. And afterwards the Goddess can never accept you into her Holy Halls. You will be damned to the Hell of Defiled Women when you die. Is that what you want? Is it?”
No! Trin shivered at the old but still vivid memory. No, that’s not what I want at all.
Of course, if someone had asked her a few months ago if she still believed all the teachings of her childhood, she would have scoffed and said she was a grown woman, capable of making up her own mind. But now, faced with a decision that would alter her life radically and completely, she was no longer so quick to scoff. The Hell of Defiled Women might be just a ridiculous fairy tale made up by vindictive priestesses to keep naughty children in line but what if it wasn’t? What if it was all true and the Goddess was watching right now and…
No, stop it! she told herself sternly. Stop thinking like that. Yes, you’ve been taught to believe this is wrong—the wrongest thing you can do. But are you so certain about that belief that you’re willing to give your life for it? Are you really ready to die rather than let a male penetrate you?
The answer again, was no. No, she didn’t want to die here, with so much life left to live. No, she didn’t want to give up everything for her childhood beliefs.
But neither did she want to dishonor herself completely. Part of her—a large part—wanted to be back in Thrace’s arms. Want
ed to feel his white-hot kisses on her mouth, taste his lips and then open herself to him. To let him stroke and caress every inch of her body before he finally thrust home within her.
However, Trin knew that was exactly what she must not do. There had to be a way to do this—to have sex with the huge Havoc and save her life—without making it a worse blasphemy than it already was. There must be a way…
Suddenly, she knew how.
“All right,” she whispered at last, looking up at Thrace, who was waiting anxiously for her answer. “But…I don’t want this to be a pleasurable experience.”
“What?” He frowned, clearly not sure he’d heard her correctly.
“You heard me.” Trin raised her chin. “I said, I don’t want it to be pleasurable. It shouldn’t be. This isn’t right and I’m not doing it for pleasure or because I want you…want you in me. It’s a necessity. It’s only to save my life.” She took a deep breath. “So don’t make it nice and sweet and safe for me, Thrace. Don’t try to make me come. Just…just shove it in and do it.”
His face hardened.
“Are you asking me to rape you? Because I won’t fucking do that, Trin.”
“It’s not rape—I’m willing.” She threw his own words back at him and watched him flinch. “Just not…” She crossed her arms over her breasts which felt swollen and hot with need. “Just not willing to make this anything else but what it is—a necessary evil.”
“Is your guilt really that great?” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “So great you can’t let the only time we share this together be any good? Any good at all?”
“I just can’t. Can’t let myself enjoy it.” Trin looked at him pleadingly. “Try to understand, Thrace—doing this is bad enough. Allowing myself to take pleasure in it…that would be beyond wrong.”
“How can it be wrong to show you how I feel about you?” His deep voice was almost pleading now. “To worship your body with my own…to give you as much pleasure as I can when I take you? Please Trin, can’t you at least let me do that?”
For a moment Trin wanted to melt at his soft, heartfelt words. But she knew she couldn’t let herself bend on this—couldn’t give so much as an inch. It wasn’t just her body at stake but her very soul—and everything she had believed in since childhood. There could be no compromising here.