This is all my mother’s doing. It is all her fault! If she hadn’t left and had been in my life and raised me as a mother ought to, today will not be a chapter in my book of life.
I grew up with my aunt believing she was my mother. I never knew Rebecca; my real mother. I never even heard her name in the family. So it still surprises me that she my aunt’s younger sister.
According to what I was told, Rebecca left home at fifteen and nothing was heard from her for four years. They had all thought she was dead and were surprised one day, when out of nowhere, she appeared with a seven months old baby; me.
The family had met and had planned they were going to send her and me back to my father. But Rebecca came with no intention of staying. She dropped me and sneaked out and never returned until recently, to ruin my life. Isn’t this the craziest thing yet?
Two months ago, my aunt, whom I always thought was my mother, came to visit me. The children – 13, 10 and 8 year olds – are always happy to have her around and I thought they must have bombarded her with calls that they missed her.
But from the moment she stepped into the house, I could sense she wasn’t in the mood to chatter with her grandchildren. After dinner, she asked me a favour. Could I please spend the night with her in the guest room?
It was really strange of course, because my husband was home. What was I supposed to tell him? She said I should tell him anything but that it was necessary and a must, and a matter of life and death, that I slept with her in the guest room.
Well, my husband was too tired, and just wanted to sleep so it wasn’t an issue.
I expected my aunt to tell me what was so urgent that I had to be pulled out of my matrimonial bed for.
Before I could sit on the bed, she told me she wasn’t my mother. Just like that. I looked at her quietly, realising that she wasn’t done talking and that I was about to discover a big secret about my life. When she said she was actually my mother’s elder sister, I felt a relief. I didn’t know what I was expecting. I was a bit shocked but took it well.
She went on to tell me that my mother just returned to the house three days earlier and that they had no idea she was alive since she had been gone for almost forty years.
“My dear, I came to prepare you,” my aunt said. “Because what your mother revealed, I cannot utter with my mouth.”
She told me my mother and a few family members will arrive in the morning. I told her I had to go to work but she insisted I must cancel every engagement for the next day.
Had I known what was waiting in that tomorrow, I would have fled with my family.
*****
Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca! The woman destroyed my life. What sort of a mother is that? Did she hope to now be a mother to a 39 year old mother of three?
The first thing I noticed when they came the following day, was that none of the family members appeared to be in good spirit. They wore drawn faces and could barely meet my eyes or even answer my greetings. It was the first sign that whatever was wrong must be extremely serious. I remembered that looking at those faces of the people before me sent a chill all over my body.
Rebecca, the strange woman, sat away from the others and wouldn’t look at me. From the moment she stepped into the house with the others, her eyes had moved from one photograph on the wall to the other; back and forth. Not once did she look my way.
I was getting nervous and wanted to know what was going on and the person who spoke was Rebecca.
“Where is Benjamin?” she asked, surprising me.
You see, it is possible for her to have talked with the family and they had told her everything she had missed out of my life, including the fact that I was married with children. They must have also told her about my husband and God knows what else. But, there was no way; none at all, that they could have told her my husband’s name was Benjamin because they do not know him by that name. It isn’t his first name or middle name. The only reason I know it, is because he told me his four names, but nobody ever call him Benjamin. It isn’t on any of his documents.
“Benjamin?” I asked, surprised. I would have thought that someone who abandoned me as a seven months old baby, would have been all over me concerned and guilty, but no, that wasn’t the case.
Finally she looked at me and in those eyes and through my surprise, I could see her battle the decision to talk or not to talk.
I looked at the others but nobody was ready to say anything. They must have decided before coming that the cross was hers to bear alone.
“I am so sorry what for I did to you and Benjamin,” she had started with that name again. Why did she feel she owed my husband an apology? “Where is he?” she had asked again.
I told her he was at work and she sighed and got up. I watched her walk to our wedding photograph and stood there examining it as if it was a prized painting by the masters. “It is just as well,” I heard her say. Then she turned to me and signaled that I joined her before the photograph.
“All is not well, my daughter,” she had told me. “I was told you lost two children.”
At that point, I lost it and I seriously yelled at her. What does she want and what is it with her statements? Is that what she came to my house for? To ask me about my husband and the late twins? She has been out of my life, all my life. She doesn’t want to address that.
I was yelling. I wasn’t sure what I was yelling at her and I wouldn’t stop until my mother (aunt) came and held me back.
“I do not want her in my house!” I had shouted.
“You cannot remain in this house,” Rebecca had said calmly. “You have to go away before Benjamin and the children get back. We will find something to tell them. You must make the sacrifice and leave, for the well-being of your loved ones.”
Wow. The first insane statement I had heard was the night before when I was asked to abandon my bedroom. The next day, I was been told to abandon my home. I was about to say something when the most senior man in the family cleared his throat and told me to obey until they could reach a solution. He said, there could be no delays, which was why they came, to ensure I left the house.
“Why? What have I done?”
“No my child, it is not what you did. It is what I did,” Rebecca said. “Benjamin is my son.”
*****
I waited for Rebecca to take back what she had said, but she wouldn’t.
“My daughter, please listen carefully,” the mother I know, who raised me, had said. “This is why Rebecca returned from wherever she has been.”
I faced Rebecca again. “Let me get something straight here. If I am your daughter, how in God’s name, can you possibly walk into my house and my life, thirty nine years later to tell me I have to leave my family because my husband is your son?”
One of the men around came to where we were standing, took my hands with the intention of leading me to a chair but I had shoved him off. I didn’t want any nonsense explanation. They all saw me grow up. They all lied to me about my mother.
“I want you all to leave my house,” I had told the family.
Rebecca came and knelt beside me as she took hold of my skirt. “Please. Benjamin is my son. You are my daughter. You cannot be your brother’s wife.”
I had closed my eyes willing to wake up from that terrible dream. But it didn’t happen. I told them again I wanted them to leave my house, but they didn’t listen either. They said unless I left, they wouldn’t go anywhere. They said it was temporary that they needed time to figure out what to do about the whole situation.
But what situation, I had asked them. My husband Tayo – whom everyone knows as Tayo by the way; Benjamin is his fourth name obviously given to him by Rebecca – is not an orphan. I know his entire family. So how can he be a different person? We have been married fifteen years with three children. Everything that was happening was happening very fast.
I asked for details about my husband and was told the reason Rebecca ran away from home at fifteen was because she was
pregnant and nobody knew. That was three years before she got pregnant with me. She had her son, Benjamin, whom she gave away.
Three month ago, my in-laws traveled to Ghana for the wedding of a family friend’s daughter. Tayo and I were supposed to go with them, but had to back out last minutes due to business reasons. From what I gathered from my family, that was where Rebecca ran into them again.
To cut the story short, she only wanted to know how her son was doing. She had no intention of meddling in their lives. So they told her everything. Rebecca recognized my name and silently wondered. So to confirm, she returned from the dead and the confirmation was that I am married to my brother.
“So if I left, what will you do? How do you intend to solve the whole mess?” I had asked them. Nobody had an answer. They hadn’t figured it out. They just wanted me out of the house first, so we would stop committing the abomination we knew nothing off.
Well, I told them I wasn’t going to leave the house until they arrived at a solution. I lied that fortunately, my husband was traveling in three days-time and will be gone for two weeks. I said I could use that time to go away with my children to where he wouldn’t find us, and leave him a note with some excuse. I told them I would never leave my children behind.
They didn’t believe I would do it. They insisted the mother who raised me will stay until my husband traveled and we left. It was perfect for me.
That evening, I had convinced Tayo that he needed to leave the house for a hotel in two days’ time. I promised to explain everything. After he left, I packed myself and my children, said goodbyes to the mother I know and told her neither she nor the family will ever see me or my children again.
We moved into a small apartment in town but my intention was for the move to be for a short time while I convinced my husband that I and the children must relocate out of the country. He wanted to know what was going on and I promised him the truth once we were safely away and together. He insisted he will have to maintain two homes due to his business. I have no problem with that as long as I have my husband with me.
He is my husband, the one I fell in love with and have built a family with. It is till death do we part. But, I know the truth and it has put an invincible barrier between us. A barrier I cannot break. I freeze at the touch that once melted me and deep down, I know that even if I choose to lie to him about what has happened, we will never be the same again. The truth I know will haunt me and torment my family.
###
About Uzezi Ekere Adesite
Uzezi Ekere Adesite is a freelance journalist and lives in Lagos, Nigeria. She authors the blog, Zayzee Writes and also shares her stories on her Facebook page of the same name. When she isn’t looking for outstanding entrepreneurs to interview for her blog, she is writing.
Excerpts from The Call of Ciri (a novel)
By
Uzezi Ekere Adesite
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Glory hurried over and snatched the receiver, before it stopped ringing. “Hello.” She listened, as she glanced behind her. “This is Dr. Igwe,” she said touching her forehead, guessing what was coming. It was her day off. She turned around shaking her head. Just then, Ada and Chuks walked in hand in hand. She glanced behind her again and almost choked. “I, I'm on, on my way,” she stammered and hung up looking behind her again.
Chuks looked in her direction. “The hospital?” he asked.
She nodded looking at him. “My colleagues are overwhelmed with patients and more just got admitted.” She looked at her husband closely and wondered if he saw anything. “I have to leave now.”
“Take your time,” Chuks told her.
*****
As Glory sped towards St. George’s Specialist Hospital , her mind kept racing back home. There was something she had to discuss with her husband. She was unsure if she wanted to discuss it with him because it will sound very ridiculous. It happened so fast Glory was still wondering if it happened at all. She wondered if she was still there. The telephone rang and interrupted them and Glory had to get it. When Chuks and Ada came downstairs, she had turned to look behind her at the visitor who didn’t want them to know she was around. But she was gone. How, was what Glory wondered, because when she picked up the phone, she was facing the entry into the living room, so there was no way she could have made a way out of the living room, that Glory wouldn’t have seen her.
Glory turned onto the road that led to the hospital happily. As she parked, she became relaxed. Walking towards the entranced, Glory knew her pulse was racing. What if she wasn’t imagining it happened and she was actually there in the house to speak with Glory earlier before the telephone rang? Glory wondered as she got to the doors. A woman walked out. Glory gasped; her hand flying to her chest as she stumbled in her steps.
The woman walked passed her, without noticing Glory. Glory stopped, taking a long look at the woman and suddenly, she felt cold all over. She hadn’t been imagining anything. It did happen and when the phone rang, she asked Glory to ignore it so that nothing had to change. But Glory answered the phone. What was Leila talking about anyway? Glory wondered again, as she shook her head and went into the building.
A nurse came over quickly with Glory’s coat and led Glory to the emergency ward. The three other doctors around were in surgery.
“What’s the situation?” Glory asked.
“Convulsion,” the nurse read from her pad.
Glory stopped. “You called me into the hospital on my day off for convulsion?” she asked incredulously?
The nurse bit her lips. “Very prolonged doctor, the last one lasted over five minutes. Patient had difficulty breathing and was choking. Although she is stable now, the mother insisted on a doctor having a look and she has had three in a row since she was admitted.”
Glory shook her head and collected the file from the nurse. “We have to run some tests.”
Just as they were stepping into the patient’s room, a nurse who was in there raised alarm. The girl was convulsing again. But it ended as abruptly and Glory was immediately at work. She was about to check the girl’s eyes when she saw the face fully. The girl’s eyes opened and Glory caught her breath as their eyes met.
She looked at the nurses.
Glory once more, looked at the sick girl. She only looked for a second before everything started spinning before her and she collapsed to the floor.
*****
Zim arrived the Igwe’s house just when the phone call came from the hospital. A minute later, him, Chuks and Ada were speeding towards the hospital.
At the hospital, Ada and Zim had to wait for Chuks to come back with news of what was wrong. Ada hoped it was nothing serious. Zim had been trying to engage her in a discussion but she wasn’t interested. All she could think about was Glory. “Daddy what happened?” Ada quickly jumped up when her father finally surfaced. “Is she alright?”
“She fainted,” he said, “But she is fine now.”
Ada sighed.
“You can go in and see her. I’ll soon be back.” He quickly made for the door.
Ada sprinted after him. “You’re not telling me everything, daddy.”
Chuks stopped. “She lost the baby, a miscarriage again,” he said and continued to his car.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
She felt sad about the miscarriage but hurt they didn’t tell her they were going to have a baby.
“What sort of shock would make someone pass out?” She turned to Zim.
Zim shook his head, without looking at her. He was trying desperately not to get up and drag Ada away from the hospital. The woman sitting across from them was staring at Ada in fright. Zim couldn’t even look away for a second. The woman looked how Ada would look in another fifteen to twenty years. The resemblance was striking; just like Ada’s with Leila. The difference was the age. For a moment, Zim turned to look at Ada again. She had her head downcast. Has she seen the woman? Zim didn’t think so. He looked up towards the woman. To his surprise, the woma
n was looking at him. Nervously, she glanced back at Ada, then at Zim and quickly jumped off her seat and took fast tottering steps away from the waiting area. She stopped and glanced back at Ada, before disappearing into a corridor. Involuntarily, Zim shot up from his seat looking in the direction of the corridor where the woman had disappeared into.
“Zim?” Ada called gently, startled by him.
He looked down at her and sat down. “I'm sorry,” he muttered, and then faced her. “Look sweetheart, do you want to go home now?”
Ada looked at him. “Okay,” she said uncertainly. “Are you alright?”
He smiled. “A sudden ache in my head,” he took her hand. “Come on, we’ll see if Glory is awake.” What a night. He shook his head.
*****
Later, when Chuks walked into Glory’s room, she was awake. He went and sat by her. Taking her hand in his, he kissed it. She was watching him. Her face was still very pale.
Glory was sad about the loss of the baby, but she had no regrets. Ever since they were married, she had always known how difficult it would be to carry a pregnancy to term. Even Chuks knew, so they didn’t push it after her first three pregnancies ended in the first trimester. So why does she have the feeling that her husband was sad at the turn of events? Was he sad because she didn’t tell him?
“How many miles away are you?” Chuks leaned down to kiss her.
She smiled wanly. “I'm right here.” She squeezed his hand weakly. “I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I wanted to get through the first trimester before raising your hopes.”
“Shh,” he held a finger to his lips. “It doesn’t matter. I need you to be strong. Don’t waste the little energy you’ve got.”
She smiled.
“Zim and Ada were here also. But on returning, I missed them. Did you see them?” He asked her.
She shook her head. “Chuks, there’s something I have to tell you.”
“Not now honey,” he shook his head.
“This can’t wait,” she said, making sure she had his full attention. “When you came downstairs with Ada, while I was on the phone, was I alone in the room?”
Chuks made a face and wondered what a ridiculous question. “Of course yes. We are just three people in that house remember? The maid left earlier.”