Spence didn"t answer he just looked towards the dance floor, then to me.
„Good God," I said, as we gave each other a sorry nod.
Steph and Salvatore were already out there doing the dance of drunk rhythmless monkeys. They really were a match made in heaven.
„C"mon, you need to break loose!" Spence stood and headed for the dance floor. I didn"t need asking twice. I loved dancing.
We laughed and joked and then got into the music. We were having the most fun I"d had in ages. Spence made it so easy to just relax and I was glad to have a new friend. We approved of – only making us laugh more, to learn that we shared the same taste in music.
Then I felt it.
Not all of a sudden, but slowly creeping up on me.
I should have stopped. But I was hazy from the alcohol, so I wasn"t sure – or maybe I just didn"t want it to be. I looked at Spence to see if he was feeling it too. He was definitely feeling something. As I looked at him, I lost my way, remembering things I had told myself to forget. Touches and sensations that had taken me away from reality and enveloped me entirely. My whole body reacted, dismissing common sense, thrilled instantly by the sense of possibility.
Enticed.
Before I knew it, Spence had me in his arms, or I had him in mine. Both, I think.
Our hips moved together and we kept dancing as we closed the distance, but I wasn"t really moving closer to him – It was someone else I was drawn towards. His lips met mine and when I kissed him back, my body exploded, electricity coursing through it, lust, lust, and
… oh …
I couldn"t control myself, couldn"t stop myself.
Spence had his hands all over me. In my hair, down my back. Further. I tried to shut down, to find myself, even though part of me screamed to pull him closer. It took me a few moments, but the second I did, I pushed him away so fast he stumbled back a few steps.
When he caught his balance he looked at me, confused. He was himself again too. But I didn"t have time to explain.
I found him instantly – everything now fitting together.
I had felt him back at the hotel. I had known it deep down. I"d just tried to ignore it. I"d even felt him before things went crazy with Spence, I just wasn"t quick enough to admit it to myself.
He was sitting at the bar. Wearing all black. His dazzling hair, reflecting light that was not there. Our eyes met and the corners of his mouth slowly moved up as his eyes looked past me and beyond.
I turned – but I already knew.
Lincoln stood at the edge of the dance floor. Magda beside him, sporting a similar smirk to Phoenix. His green eyes shone, even from this distance. He had seen the kiss. I took a step towards him, desperate to explain. All I had to see was his drink to fall to the floor and he was gone. Magda too.
Well, if he wasn"t already in her arms, you just pushed him there, Vi.
I spun on my heels. Everything had happened in a few seconds. Spence had only just reached me.
„What was that?"
I didn"t stop to talk. I stormed right up to Phoenix. „What the hel do you think you"re doing? Are you so screwed in the head, that this is how you get you kicks? By hurting me?" I screamed.
Phoenix looked at me calmly. Patronisingly. He smiled „I"ve missed you. Your naivety more than anything else, I think. But that"s not to say I haven"t missed … other things," he swept his eyes over me.
„Oh my God, you"re demented! How did you do that?"
„How does it feel, Violet – to watch someone run away from you? Shoe"s on the other foot now, isn"t it?"
Phoenix held an empty glass up towards the waitress behind the bar. The girl practically fell over herself, dodging another guy and tripping over an ice bucket on the way to top up his red wine.
Still likes red wine.
I wanted to slap myself for even having the thought.
He took a sip and I knew it wasn"t just for show that he took a moment, savouring the taste. He always had … enjoyed experiencing human pleasures. Red wine had been one of his most valued,
„Just because our emotional bond is broken, Violet, doesn"t mean you are not susceptible to my talents. Even through another person, it seems I am strong enough to break your defences. It is easier, of course, that you so wanted me to."
„ What? I did not!"
His smile deepened and his eyes narrowed. He leaned in closer and with people standing all around us, I couldn"t move back. „I know you felt it, lover. I felt your memories, your longing to go where I took you. I can even feel how you want to taste my wine, knowing I"ve tasted it – to press your lips against the glass," he rolled the stem in his fingers. „Exactly where my lips have been."
„You make me sick," I said, and meant it even if he was partly right.
Spence pushed up beside me. „Who"s he?"
„Phoenix," I said, not taking my eyes off him.
„Shit," Spence said. Apparently further explanation wasn"t required. „Do we fight?" Spence asked me. I didn"t answer. I didn"t know.
„There is nothing for you here. The bond is broken!" I carried on, as if Spence hadn"t spoken.
„Is it?" Phoenix stood up from his bar stool. Somehow he didn"t struggle to find space to move. „I told you before I left, lover, when I healed you, I gave you something." He grinned.
I was about to yell at him again – tell him not to call me lover – when I felt a searing pain in my stomach. I screamed, the pain building so fast, faster than any I"d felt before. My hands went to my stomach as I looked at Phoenix to see if he was holding a weapon, then to my hands that were now covered in blood. My blood.
Phoenix shook his head and leaned forward. „Tsk tsk, did I forget to mention? I can take it back."
That was why the pain was so familiar, so frightening. He had given me back the injury Onyx had inflicted with his sword. The injury Phoenix healed.
I swayed, Spence"s arm wrapped around me to hold me up while he screamed towards Salvatore on the dance floor.
Phoenix turned to leave. I was losing consciousness, but I heard him say to Spence, „She is intoxicating, isn"t she? I wonder, was it as good for you as it was for me?"
Then I felt the gust of wind I knew his departure.
„I"l ask you the same question when I run my dagger through your heart!" Spence called out too late.
I dropped to the floor as Salvatore and Steph arrived. Spence knelt down beside me, his supporting arm never leaving me.
„Violet! What"s he done? What do I do? Oh, man, you"re bleeding everywhere!" he wailed.
I couldn"t answer. Black smoke played in the corners of my vision, blurring my sight. My legs, which had been prickling with pins and needles, went numb just as I thought I was going to pass out, somehow I sucked in a deeper breath than should have been possible.
Almost instantly I felt considerably better. I looked down and pulled up my top. The wound was closing.
„What the …? Are you doing that?" Zoe had joined us.
„No," I answered, my hands shaking as they touched the almost healed wound. „It"s not me. It"s Phoenix. This is the wound he healed in me a month ago. Somehow Phoenix is doing this. When he left I … I …"
„You started to heal," Steph finished, grabbing my hand tightly. „This is bad, Vi. Bible bad."
Yep
I glanced around, suddenly aware of my state in the middle of a bar. But to my surprise, no one was even looking at me, bleeding to death on the ground. I scanned the area, dumbfounded. „How?"
Spence gave me one of his winks. „Glamour. No one cane see you, honey. You just stay there until you"re good and ready."
„Oh. Good one," I said, mustering a smile despite the undeniable knot of guilt and all-round panic about what that kiss had meant to Spence.
Just to prove us wrong Dapper came over and put out a hand. „Jesus Christ. Are you alive?"
„Yeah. I"m okay."
Spence looked from Dapper to me, wide-eyed. I just hitched a shoulder.
„Good.
Wel , get up and stop bleeding all over my floor," Dapper said, shaking his head.
„Why are you always covered in blood?"
It was a mighty fine question.
„I knew this would happen. Bringing your damn problems into my place." He kept shaking his head, but I was sure I could see just the slightest amount of concern as he looked down at me. „Ah hell, go upstairs, you know where everything is." He put a hand out and pul ed me to my feet. „I"l be up when I can."
„Should I ask?" Spence enquired, as we watched Dapper stomp off.
„No," I was simply too tired to explain.
-
I led the way towards the unmarked door that went upstairs. Spence stayed close the whole time, keeping a hand under my elbow. I knew it was out of kindness, in case I keeled over again and he needed to put up another glamour, but I stil wanted to shake him off …
just in case.
„Lincoln"s gone. With Magda. She smiled – I"m sure of it.
As I felt the stirrings of a tear, I heard a chuckle I recognised from the end of the bar.
„Just when I was about to leave, the entertainment begins. Had I known I would have arranged closer viewing."
„Shut up, Onyx," was all I could muster.
„Now, now. Is that any way to travel the person," his face scrunched when he said the humanising word, „who can enlighten you as to what just happened?" He raised his eyebrows and displayed the kind of grin that only came with true joy.
I bit my lip and relaxed my instinctively fisted hands, „What do you know?"
„No, no, no. The first question is – what do I want? A question that has a two-part answer.
Part A is a bottle of bourbon. Trisha behind the bar knows which one I like. Part B I will explain upstairs." He stood and disappeared through the door without so much as a glance to see if we were in agreement.
„Shit."
„Sal!" Spence called out. He handed my arm to Salvatore. „Help her upstairs." He pointed to make sure he understood and Salvatore gave a nod and smiled at me.
„What are you going?" I asked Spence.
„To get the bottle of bourbon. I"l meet you up there."
I was about to argue, but what was the point? We all knew, even Steph, who already had the door open for us, that Onyx had us over a barrel.
„Come on, then," Zoe pushed ahead, starting up the stairs. Steph glared at her but I suspected Zoe was going first to stop her. She was protecting her, though she"d never admit it. Once again, life as a Grigori was exposing my best friend to danger.
I was beginning to understand more and more why so many chose to no tell their loved ones the truth.
CHAPTER TWELVE
„ Suddenly he saw a vision of a seraph, a six-winged angel on a cross. This angel gave him the gift of the five wounds of Christ."
G.K. Chesterton
We passed by Onyx"s flat. The door was open and the place was empty, apart from some haphazardly scattered possessions, signs of someone who had absolutely no level of regard for anything. We kept going down the hal to Dapper"s. I walked slowly, using the time to regenerate my strength. The wound had healed, but once again, blood-loss and trauma were taking their toll.
The door was open and Onyx was reclined on the couch. He had his feet up on the coffee table and seemed almost at home.
„Well?" he asked, when we all crowded through the doorway.
I wanted to turn around and walk back out. Instead, I gritted my teeth.
„Spence had gone to get your bourbon. He"l be up in a minute," I said, moving myself away from Salvatore"s supporting arm to stand alone.
„Good. Wel , you may as wel get cleaned up. As much as I like the image of you covered in blood," the corners of his mouth twitched," Dapper wouldn"t appreciate you ruining his lovely chaise longue."
I crossed my arms and made no move, but Onyx just smiled and made a walking motion with two of his fingers.
„It"s alright Violet, we"ll watch him," Zoe said, stepping closer to Onyx. There was little I could do. He was in control – for now. After giving Zoe a quick nod I served Onyx a foul look and stormed off to the bathroom, pulling Steph along with me.
Steph let loose as soon as the door clicked.
„Vi, is this a good idea? He … he"s the one that … you know …"
I did know. Unfortunately, I"d had more than a vivid reminder of what Onyx had done to me when he impaled me with his sword, nearly killing me. Knowing now that Phoenix appeared to have the ability to reinstate the wounds – the terror – at any time was … I swallowed and clenched my jaw.
Hold it together, Vi.
There are moments in life where there is nothing you can do. Information lands in your lap and you just want to scream and scream until there is only emptiness. It"s when I feel like that, that I know I have to close down, shut it out – compartmentalise. Like now.
„I remember, Steph. But if he know something …" I picked a spot on the floor, a crack in one of the dark grey tiles, and focused on it. I studied the hairline and its jagged edges as I tried desperately to block the flow. I refused to open my mind to everything that was going on. To Phoenix, Onyx, the possibilities of what might happen. Worse, right now, opening myself would only start the stampede on my heart – Lincoln.
It"s always Lincoln. He"l never forgive me.
The last time id" been in this bathroom we"d almost …
Every time we get close, somehow it"s ruined.
I jumped when my phone started ringing and fumbled as I fished it out of my blood soaked pocket.
„Hello?" Then remembering that Spence had diverted the house phone to my mobile, quickly added, „Eden residence."
„Hi honey. Just ringing to check in before you go to bed."
I could hear fingers tapping away on a computer. Probably Dad sending emails. He always left them till the end of his day, or night, I should say.
„Hey Dad," I emphasised, looking at Steph who nodded, understanding instantly. „How"s your trip going?" I asked, trying to keep a steady low voice so it didn"t echo too much in the bathroom.
Steph moved silently and put an ear to the door, checking that no one else was going to barge in.
„Lunches and dinners with clients every day – it"s driving me up the wall but it has to be done. Anything happening there? Is Steph staying over?"
„Um … yeah. Wel , no. I mean, no nothing"s happening and yes Steph is staying over.
We"re just doing the usual. Pizza and movies," I said, trying hard to recapture some composure after such a rocky start.
„Sounds good, honey," Dad went on, oblivious to any problem. „Listen, I"ve got to get going. I"l call you tomorrow."
„Sure, Dad."
He hung up. I looked down at my phone and pressed the end button. „Love you, too."
Although I knew it was irrational, at that moment I was angry with him. For not knowing me, who I was, what I was going through. I knew it was unfair, that it was me who hadn"t old him, but all the same … Why can"t he hear the fear in my voice? Sense the way my world had changed? I had to sense things every day for the rest of my life, which would possibly be a very long time, and all I wanted was for him to be able to sense me. Just me.
„Vi – you okay?" Steph asked, watching me as she quietly moved to the sink and started rinsing blood from a towel we"d been using. She wrung it out and motioned gently to me to continue mopping up. Without a change of clothes, it was the only option, but it was pretty useless.
I wiped away the tear that had just escaped down my cheek.
„Fine," I said in response. „Just …" But I didn"t have an explanation. There was a lot going on. I couldn"t put the feelings fo desperation and foreboding, and all-round sick-to-the-gut sensation into words.
I spotted a bathroom hanging on the back of the door and grabbed it. I pulled off my T-shirt. I didn"t bother with my jeans.
„Hey," I said, trying to rally as much as I could, „do you think you could rinse this ou
t and throw it in the dryer? I saw a laundry room back down the hal a bit?"
Steph took the T-shirt and looked at me, unconvinced. „I know what you"re doing. You can"t deal with everything on your own, Vi." She adjusted her focus down to the bloodied top in her hands. „I know you think I shouldn"t be involved in this stuff, but here"s the thing – you made your choice when you told me the truth. Now I"ve made mine. You"re my best friend, Vi, don"t push me out because I"m not all “super”. We stick together. That"s that."
Steph"s expression looked so adamant but also … desperate. It wasn"t just me who had a lot on the line. This world that I was now stuck in mattered to her, too. In her own way, she was just as stuck as me. We"re best friends, after all – where one goes the other follows.
„I don"t want to see you hurt," I admitted.
She smiled wryly. „How about you just worry about yourself?"
I smiled back. She could be right.
She bundled the T-shirt and the worst of the bloody towels together. „I"l go take care of these." She paused at the door, as if she couldn"t help herself, and turned back to me, a small twinkle in her eye. „Did you see all those books in the hal way?"
I wondered when she"d mention she"d just entered a version of geek heaven.
-
What was I doing?
What I wanted to do – badly – was run. I knew deep down that this was all my fault.
Letting myself get close to Phoenix in the first place, letting myself believe that he was good, that he cared.
No. I"m more culpable than him. I let him believe that I was good.
I sucked in a few deep breaths and avoided looking at myself in the mirror.
Am I just as guilty as Phoenix?
Looking back, he probably never cared for me. He just wanted to control me, have me as some kind of trophy. But had I been any better?
Running was what had gotten me in this mess. Running from becoming Grigori, from my feelings for Lincoln, from the truth about my mother. It had all led me to Phoenix. I couldn"t run anymore. And quitting wasn"t an option. I couldn"t even hide. I was out in the open and Phoenix could find me anywhere.
He was a predator and …
I was his prey.
-