I turned back to Lincoln and knelt beside him. He was coming around. I didn"t have long.
I called on my power again, hoping I"d be able to keep my hold on the remaining exiles while also doing this. I focused on the healing element and sent it out to Lincoln feeling the power travel into him. I sent it to his heart. I hope that just as his powers had sought out the pain in my heart the other day my power might be able to do the same and even ease some of the pain in his.
I needed to bring him back to me.
My will worked its way through him, touching his heart and even deeper, to the fibre of his soul. But it was waiting for something. To strip away some of Lincoln"s fear and pain, I also needed to fill the void, send something to take its place. There were so many reasons why I shouldn"t, good reasons, too, but in the end it was easy.
I sent him love.
I pulled the gun from his waistband and slid it over to Spence, who stopped it with his foot.
Lincoln opened his eyes. I took his dagger in my hand.
„Violet. What"s … what"s going on? You knocked me out," he said, sounding perplexed.
I smiled sadly. „Linc, we all have choices." My hand instinctively went to his face, soothing him. „They"re not always easy. Now you get to make yours."
I stood, all business now. „But this is how it"s going to work."
„I don"t understand."
I walked towards Nahilius, who remained silent. He was watching what was going on, eyes darting between where Lincoln and I were to Magda and Spence. He could move a little, and talk, too, if he wanted to – but he didn"t I could almost see his mind working, looking between everyone, searching for the weak link.
„If you want to kil him, you"re going to have to ask me to do it," I said, raising my hand to show I was armed with his dagger.
„Violet, you don"t know what you"re doing. Don"t be ridiculous." He started to get up.
„If you get up off the floor, I"l kil him," I said, trying not to flinch at my own words.
„This isn"t your battle," he snapped at me, but he didn"t get up off the ground.
„I would rather it was me than you."
„How can you say that?"
„Because, Linc, I need you to make the good decision."
His green eyes locked on mine. „You healed me, didn"t you?" His hand went to his heart.
„The tightness … the …"
„Pain. I didn"t heal it, I just eased it … and, and you"re an idiot. You don"t have to carry all of this on your own," I said, a combination of hurt and anger seeping into my words.
Holding the dagger out, my arm started to tremble. I was growing weak from keeping the exiles at bay and healing Lincoln.
„Coming from you, that"s- „he started, but I cut him off.
„I"m not going to let you do this." I forced the shaking to stop and showed him nothing but resolved.
He let out a small cry. „He"l kil you!" he crackled through less a whisper, barely audible. „I can"t survive it."
I wanted to drop to the ground, crawl over and cradle him in my arms. Tell him everything would be okay. But that would be a lie. I didn"t know if things would ever be okay, for any of us. And somehow, I knew trying to explain to him that Nahilius wasn"t the problem wouldn"t help. I bit down hard on the inside of my lip, I bit until I drew blood and felt the sting. I forced the control and stood my ground.
„If you kil him, it will change you. Forever. Trust me …"
I stared into nothingness, that place I could go. „I know."
He looked to the ground. „That"s a price I"m willing to pay."
I shook my head at him, desperation mixed with stubbornness taking over. „Well, I"m not!"
Lincoln, increasingly confused, looked from Nahilius to me. He was suffering so badly.
The cruel burden of inherent protector weighing him down.
My only chance was to turn things around, give him a way to save us both.
„You"re not the only one who wil pay the price for this decision. Don"t you get it? Since the trials … since … that day," I struggled to hold my voice as I fought back the memories trying to invade. „The only time I find myself – me – is in you."
Truth stung my eyes and I quickly blinked the tears away and forced fresh ones back.
Now is not the time for leakages.
„If you do this, you"l be gone and what wil happen to me?"
Please, let his work.
„You don"t need me to know who you are," he said, quietly, not able to look at me.
„Of course I do. When one soul is lost, how can it ever find itself again if not in its-„
„Counterpart," he finished, astonished. He was looking at me now, the cogs turning behind his vivid-green eyes.
„Yes," I confessed, relieved yet terrified I was admitting what I knew.
We were silent, both wondering where to go from here. Confusion built in Lincoln"s face, as he battled an internal war.
„Lincoln," Magda said smoothly. „Violet is young. She doesn"t understand. Nahilius won"t stop and you won"t get another shot at this. Are you willing to take that chance?" Her voice was honey sweet, and more dangerous than any bee sting.
Lincoln"s eyes were darting around the room, frantically. He would do what he believed was best. He would protect me at all costs, I knew that now. Just as I would him.
„I will not hunt you," Nahilius said, surprising everyone.
He looked like he wanted to say more, but my arm was shaking badly now. I was out of time. I mustered all the strength I could and turned on Lincoln again. „Decide. If you don"t make up your mind in five seconds, I"l kil him."
Please, please, please let this work.
It was the only option. If it had to be one of us, I would rather it was me. I was already broken.
„One … two … three-„
„Wait!" Lincoln screamed. „No, Violet. Don"t!" He dropped his head and lowered his voice.
„I don"t want this."
I let out the breath I was holding and relaxed my arm, still fighting to keep my hold over the other exiles.
He stood. „I"m so sorry."
I took a step towards him, my shoulders dropping with relief, but flinched when from behind me, Nahilius screamed, „No!"
Even spinning around at inhuman speed didn"t get me there in time to see or stop any of it. All I saw was Magda standing behind Nahilius, the tip of her dagger coming through his chest.
„Bitch!" Nahilius moaned, staring straight at me as he fell to his knees, but before they hit the ground, he was gone.
I was startled by the venom in the one word intended for me until I realised I had no right to be. I had held him in that immobile state, threatened his life, then, when I was finished with him, had done nothing but turn my back in time for his end.
I am a bitch.
Spence watched, hands stuck mid-air, mouth open. He didn"t know what to do. I couldn"t blame him, nor did i. we"d wanted to stop them using guns and Lincoln kil ing Nahilius for the wrong reasons. We hadn"t considered things beyond that. It"s not like we were planning to send the exiles off at the end with a pat on the back.
It was Lincoln who walked over and stood on the spot Nahilius no longer inhabited.
„Magda, you had no right."
But Magda stood tall as she sheathed her dagger. „I had every right, Lincoln. I helped you do this in your way and let you make the call, but he"s an exile and that"s out job. I"m not sorry for that." She stormed away towards the stairs. „I"l be downstairs when you two are done with your reunion."
Spence chose this moment to walk over to the final exile, who had been wordlessly recovering on the ground from his gunshot wound. He glanced at me quickly. He wasn"t asking permission – Magda was right, this was our job description – he was checking that I wouldn"t object, which I didn"t.
It was over quickly.
Lincoln and I watched on silently.
„Um …" Spence said, looking awkward. „I thin
k I"l go hold Maggy"s hand. She sounds a bit wound up." He was giving us space.
Lincoln pulled me in for a hug as soon as Spence was out of sight. „I feel like I haven"t seen you in ages."
„You haven"t."
„I guess not. I"m sorry," he said, his words thick with emotion as he held me close, breathing deeply. I could have sworn he was breathing me in. „I couldn"t let him get to you."
„I know. It"s over now."
He pulled back from the embrace. „Hey, you didn"t … you know … when you healed me
… you didn"t have to-„ but he didn"t get a chance to finish. It"s too hard when someone is kissing you.
It was wrong, totally.
But it was right, completely.
Our souls were connected. I realised when I realised within my power to help heal Lincoln"s heart that I shouldn"t be able to do this. Phoenix may be able to have a physical connection with me, even tamper with my emotions, but all of that was related to the senses
– external forces. The soul is the only part that is eternal, that transcends the fabric and goes beyond, into the tiniest fibres of our very existence. My soul belonged to Lincoln as his belonged to mine. Did that make everything okay? Open the doors to happily ever after? Of course not. There would never be a guarantee, just a feeling, and that wasn"t enough. Not for the risk.
But I kissed him anyway. I opened my power to him. Not for healing purposes, but for a brief liberation. I was nervous he"d pull away and I felt him hesitate for a moment, but then just as my power had opened to him his power flooded into me. Finally, we could no longer deny the truth to each other.
Even if it is just for this moment. It"s perfect.
I pulled away from him, but kept my arms around his waist. Not wanting to break contact yet. For once, things were as they should be. He knew I loved him, I knew he loved me.
We didn"t say it wouldn"t last. That there was too much at stake. And we didn"t pretend it wasn"t real. One stolen moment that would punish me later. Painfully.
It was a sentence I was prepared to serve.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
„ There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
Friedrich Nietzsche
On the way to the airport, Spence and I filled Magda and Lincoln in on everything. They knew some from what Griffin had told them, but hadn"t heard the latest updates about the plane or the destination.
„I can"t believe you went to that aircraft hangar without me," Lincoln said. But he was only concerned, not accusatory. I was struggling to follow, anyway. Lucid thoughts were hard to hold on to. He was still holding my hand, his thumb running over it back and forth, gently. I couldn"t stop counting. I was up to sixty-three. Sixty-four.
„It all comes back to Phoenix," I said, my voice catching. The lies and omissions had to stop. Lincoln could handle it and he deserved the truth, „It was Phoenix who brought back Nahilius."
Magda swung around from the front seat with surprise, before landing a sour look on me.
Jesus, she hates me to the extreme.
Lincoln was shocked, too, but I kept going.
„He set it up to distract you. He wanted to separate us."
Lincoln"s free hand fisted tightly. I heard his breathing deepen, the way it does when he"d fuming about something. Of all people to use Nahilius against him, Phoenix was the worst. In the end, Lincoln just nodded. He got it. I wasn"t going to rub it in.
We drove the rest of the way in silence. Spence was texting on his phone, constantly, and Magda didn"t acknowledge us again, but I knew she"d heard everything. I was guessing she was pissed t wasn"t her holding Lincoln"s hand right now.
Can"t say I felt bad for her though.
As we neared the airport, Lincoln squeezed my hand and shuffled the tiny bit closer to me that the back seat would allow.
„Thank you, Vi," he whispered.
It wasn"t only him that swallowed hard. I knew he was saying – how big it was. Saving someone from doing something so horrific, something they would never have been able to come back from – I knew how much it meant. I was glad I could save him. It felt a little like rescuing myself, too.
The taxi pulled up outside departures and we all got out, except Spence. He was still busy typing away on his phone.
„You guys go on. I"l see you when you get back," he said, barely looking up.
Magda had already walked on ahead, not concerned at all with what any of us did right now.
Sulking, much?
When Spence realised we hadn"t moved on, he looked up and gave us a cheesy grin.
„It"s fine. Seriously. I get it: no partner, no ticket. It"s okay. I hear Jordan sucks, anyway."
He pulled the taxi door closed and went back to his phone. „See you guys later," he said through the open window.
The car drove off and Lincoln, still holding my hand, started to walk towards the entrance to the departures area.
„You think he"s real y going to let this go?"
„Not a chance," I answered.
But before we could start to speculate as to what Spence was up to my phone rang. I would have to let go of Lincoln"s hand to pul it out. I didn"t want to. Once the connection was broken … I knew this wasn"t forever and wished I could hold on a little longer. But then, Lincoln let go of me.
„I think that"s you," he said, smiling as my heart sank thinking that it seemed so easy for him.
I guess that"s that.
„Hello?" I said.
„Violet, tell me you"ve got them," Griffin said.
„Yeah, we"re at the airport – where do we go?"
„You"ll have to run, we"re already on the runway and they want to take off. Don"t go through the commercial terminal. Come around the southern end of the building and through the security gates there. There"s a uniformed solider there, Lieutenant Marks, who"l get you through. Don"t say anything to anyone."
„Do we need passports?" I said, suddenly panicking I"d made a critical error.
„No. Just get to Marks fast and you"l be okay. Hurry!"
I was already running, with Lincoln beside me keeping pace. We couldn"t see Magda –
she had gone on ahead into the commercial building.
After a couple of minutes of running way too fast for normal humans, we spotted the security gates and had to slow to a walk – there were more people around. We picked the official who had to be Lieutenant Marks, since he was uniformed and already looking straight at us. As soon as we reached the gates, he said something to the security officers who then nodded at us. Marks waved us in and was already jogging towards the runway. We followed suit.
When we hit the open tarmac, Marks pointed to a large green plane that had at least a dozen military personnel standing guard around it and was stationary on the runway. After a quick nod, he started back in the opposite direction.
Lincoln took the lead and we ran to the back end of the plane, which was still open. Griffin was standing there with a guy dressed in head to toe in camouflage greens.
„You the last two?" the army guy called out over the roar of the engines.
„No!" Lincoln yelled back. „One more on the way!"
We looked back behind us, but could see no sign of Magda.
The soldier looked back to Griffin. „Sorry, but we have to go or we"l lose our slot! Your friend will have to get on a later flight. We have a transport plane headed to Jordan tomorrow
– any stragglers can get on that."
Griffin clearly wanted to argue, but the army guy was too busy pushing us all towards the stairs as a military truck was driven up the ramp.
„That"s all of „em!" yelled the drive as he jumped out and started back down the ramp.
„You"re good to go!"
The soldier ushered us further inside and hollered into his radio.
„Al clear for take-off! Doors up!"
Then he gave Griffin a salute, which Griffin aptly mirrored in response, and disappeared
up towards the front of the plane,
When the doors closed things became much easier to hear.
„Right," said Griffin, looking at Lincoln and me, and the down. We were no longer holding hands but somehow, without noticing we"d moved so close, we were touching from shoulder to elbow. „You"d better tel me what the hel "s been going on," he said, as we followed him through to the upstairs section of the double-decker plane.
It was amazing, not as big as the Antanov Phoenix had been using, but it was still cool.
Spence would have been in heaven. The cargo area was pretty standard. But upstairs was more similar to a commercial plane, though the seats were a lot bigger and there were desks scattered between them Griffin stopped at the first set of seats arranged like a four-seater booth. Everyone else was already on the plane, seated and buckled. Nyla and Rudyard were opposite Zoe and Salvatore a couple of rows behind them.
Lincoln and I filled Griffin in one what had happened with Nahilius. I became nervous when had to mention the guns, but Lincoln stepped in and explained. He took responsibility for everything and didn"t skip over anything. He really was feeling himself again – always the martyr.
Griffin honed in on the most significant issue instantly. „So Magda has guns these days,"
he said, in a flat tone.
Poor Griffin. He looked exhausted. He"d been running all over town trying to organise us as well as the entire city. Magda should have been helping him, not putting a gun in Lincoln"s hands.
„Griff, this is one me. Don"t blame Magda. I was out of control. She was only trying to help me," Lincoln confessed, bowing his head in shame. I fought the urge to contribute my opinion on the matter.
„Yes, well, we"l deal with that later. Let"s just get to Jordan and find these Scriptures."
Griffin pulled a file from his bag and sat down. From the looks of it, he wanted to be left alone.
„ Buckle up for take-off," a male voice said over the PA. It was weird to hear what sounded like an order instead of a polite airline flight attendant.
Lincoln took my hand again and I exhaled, as if sated by just one touch. He pulled me towards the back of the plane. When we passed Rudyard, he put his hand out and grabbed my free wrist.
„Are you sure?" he said to Lincoln as much as to me.