you and Rafael, you have to decide what is the most important to you. Is it making everyone here happy? Or is it being happy yourself?”
Bryony frowned. “Am I being unreasonable to hold him to a promise he made? It seemed so simple then, but apparently he has business partners—close friends of his—and investors counting on him. This is how he makes his living. And I’m asking him to give all that up because we’re all afraid that our lives will change.”
Mamaw nodded. “Well, that’s something only you can answer. We’ve been lucky for a lot of years. We’ve been overlooked. Galveston gets all the tourists. We stay over here and no one ever comes calling. But we can’t expect that to last forever. If Rafael doesn’t build his resort, someone else will eventually. We’d probably be better off if Rafael builds it because he at least has met the people here and he knows where they’re coming from. If some outsider comes in, he won’t give a damn about you or me or anyone else here.”
“I don’t want everyone to hate me,” Bryony said miserably.
“Everyone won’t hate you,” Mamaw said gently. “Rafael loves you. I love you. Who else do you want to love you?”
Suddenly she felt incredibly foolish. She closed her eyes and slapped her head to her forehead. “You know what? You’re right, Mamaw. It’s my land. Or it was. Only I should have the right to decide who I sell it to and what they do with it. If the other people here wanted things to remain the way it was so badly then they could have banded together to buy the land. It was okay when they didn’t have to foot the tax bill. They were more than happy to tell me what I could or couldn’t do with my own land.”
Mamaw chuckled. “That’s the spirit. Get angry. Tell them to piss off.”
“Mamaw!”
Her grandmother laughed again at Bryony’s horrified expression.
“You’ve tied yourself in knots for too long, honey. First you were upset that he left. Then you were convinced he left you for good. Then you found out you were pregnant and you grieved for him all over again. Then he came back and you were happy. Don’t give it up this time. This time you can do something about it.”
Bryony leaned forward and hugged her grandmother. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, my baby.”
“Don’t think I’m not going to turn these words back on you about Silas.”
Her grandmother laughed and pulled away. “You leave Silas to me. He knows I’ll come around sooner or later and he seems content to wait until I decide to quit making him miserable. I’m old. Don’t begrudge me my fun.”
“I don’t want to be away from you. I want you to see your great-grandchild when he’s born.”
Mamaw sighed in exasperation. “You act like we’d never see each other anymore. Your Rafael is as rich as a man can get. If he can’t afford to fly you to see me, then what good is he? You should ask for a jet as a wedding present. Then you can go where you want and when you want.”
Bryony shook her head. “You’re such a mess. But you’re right. I’m just being difficult because I hate change.”
Mamaw squeezed her hand. “Change is good for all of us. Never think it isn’t. It’s what keeps us young and vibrant. Change is exciting. It keeps life from getting stale and predictable.”
“I suppose I should call Rafael and tell him to go ahead with the resort. It’ll be such a load off him I’m sure.”
“Better yet, why don’t you get on a plane and go see him,” Mamaw said gently. “Some things are better said in person.”
“I can’t leave you. I promised the doctor—”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. I’ll be fine. I’ll call Silas over to drive you to the airport. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll have Gladys come over and stay with me until Silas comes back.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Mamaw said in exasperation. “Now get on the internet and figure out when the first available flight is to New York.”
Twenty
Bryony got into the cab and read off the address to the driver. She was nervous. More nervous than she’d ever been in her life. How ridiculous was it that she had to get Rafael’s address from the papers from the sale of the land. She hadn’t known. It hadn’t been covered in ordinary conversation.
She was truly flying solo because Rafael hadn’t answered his cell phone or his apartment phone. A dreaded sense of déjà vu had taken hold but she forced herself not to descend into paranoia. He had every reason the first time not to answer her calls given that he was in the hospital recovering from serious injuries.
Still, old feelings of helplessness and abandonment were hard to get rid of and the more times she tried to call with no response, the more anxious she became.
The ride was long and streetlights blinked on in the deepening of dusk. The city took on a whole different look at night. It seemed so ordinary and horribly busy during the day. People everywhere. Cars everywhere. Not that there wasn’t an abundance of both at night, but the twinkling lights on every building lit up the sky and gave the skyline a beautiful look.
When the cab pulled up in front of Rafael’s building she got out, paid the fare and then stood staring at the entrance. She shivered. Of course she’d forgotten a coat. It still hadn’t been ingrained in her that while it was warm where she lived, it was cold in other places. And she’d been in such a hurry to get to Rafael, she hadn’t bothered with more than an overnight bag and a few necessities.
She started toward the door when a man brushed by her. She frowned. He looked familiar. Ryan? One of Rafael’s friends. Ryan Beardsley. Maybe he could at least get her inside since Rafe wasn’t answering his phone.
“Mr. Beardsley,” she called as she hurried to catch him before he disappeared inside.
Ryan stopped and turned, a frown on his face. When he saw her, the frown disappeared but neither did he smile.
“I don’t know if you remember me,” she began.
“Of course I remember you,” he said shortly. “What are you doing here? And for God’s sake, why aren’t you wearing a coat?”
“It was warm when I left Texas,” she said ruefully. “I came to see Rafael. It’s important. He hasn’t been answering his phone. I need to see him. It’s about the resort. I wanted to tell him it was okay. I don’t care anymore. Maybe I never should have. But I don’t want him to mess things up for you or his investors or his other friends.”
Ryan looked at her like she was nuts. “You came here to tell him all that?”
She nodded. “Do you know if he’s home? Have you heard from him? I know he’s busy. Probably more so now than ever, but if I could just see him for a minute.”
“I’ll do you one better,” Ryan muttered. “Come on. I’ll take you up to his apartment. Devon should already be here. We haven’t heard from him since he arrived.”
Bryony’s eyes widened in alarm.
“Now don’t go looking like that,” Ryan soothed. “Cam dropped him off and he was fine. He’s probably just busy trying to dig himself out of this mess he’s gotten himself into.”
He took Bryony’s arm and tugged her toward the door.
“What the hell have you done to yourself?” Devon asked in disgust.
Rafael opened one eye and squinted, then made a shooing gesture with his hand. “Get the hell out of my apartment.”
“You’re shit-faced.”
“I always said you were the smart one in this partnership.”
“Mind telling me what prompted you to tie one on when you should be salvaging a business deal you seem determined to flush down the toilet?”
“I don’t give a damn about the resort. Or you. Or anyone else. Get lost.”
Rafael closed his eye again and reached for the bottle he’d left on the floor by the couch. Damn thing was empty. His mouth felt like he’d ingested a bag of cotton balls and his head ached like a son of a bitch.
Suddenly he was jerked off the couch, hauled across the floor and slammed into one of the armchairs. He opened his eyes again to see Devon’s snarling face just inches from his own.
“You’re going to tell me what the hell is going on here,” Devon demanded. “Cam said everything was fine when he picked you up. Then suddenly you go radio silent and I come up here to check on your ass and you’re so liquored up you can’t see straight.”
Pain splintered Rafael’s chest, and worse, shame crowded in from every direction. He’d never been so ashamed in his life.
“I’m a bastard,” he said hoarsely.
Devon snorted. “Yeah, well, what else is new? It never bothered you before.”
Rafael lunged to his feet, gathered Devon’s shirt in his fists and got into Devon’s face. “Maybe it bothers me now. Damn it, Devon, I remember everything, okay? Every single detail and it makes me so sick I can’t even think about it.”
Devon’s eyes narrowed but he made no move to remove Rafael’s hands from his shirt. “What the hell are you talking about? What do you remember that’s so bad?”
“I used her,” Rafael said quietly. “I went down there with the sole intention of doing whatever it took to get the land. And I did. God, I did. I seduced her. I told her I loved her. I promised her whatever she wanted to hear. All so I could make this deal happen. And it was all a lie. I left there with the intention of never going back. I had what I wanted. The sale was closed. The paperwork was filed. I had won.”
A wounded cry from the doorway made Rafael jerk his head around. He went numb from head to toe when he saw Bryony standing there, white as a sheet, Ryan right beside her, supporting her with an arm when she’d stumbled back.
It was a nightmare. His worst nightmare come to life. What was she doing here? Why now?
He let go of Devon’s shirt and started toward her. “Bryony.” Her name spilled from his lips, a tortured sound that reflected all the shame and guilt that crowded his soul.
She took a hasty step back, shaking off Ryan’s arm. She was so pale that he worried she’d fall right over.
“Bryony, please, just listen to me.”
She shook her head, tears filling her beautiful eyes. It was a sight that staggered him.
“Please, just leave me alone,” she begged softly. “Don’t say anything else. There isn’t a need. I heard it all. Leave me with some of my pride at least.”
She turned and fled into the elevator, the sound of her quiet sobs echoing through his apartment.
Rafael stood, feeling dead on the inside as he watched the elevator close. “Go after her,” he croaked out to Ryan. “Please, for me. Make sure she’s okay. She doesn’t know anyone here in the city. I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
With a curse, Ryan turned and jammed his finger over the call button. Behind Rafael, Devon got on the phone and called down to the doorman with muttered instructions to stall Bryony until Ryan arrived.
“Why aren’t you going after her yourself?” Devon asked after Ryan got into the returning elevator.
Rafael dropped back into the armchair and cupped his head between both hands. “What am I supposed to say to her? I lied to her. I played her. I used her. Everything she feared I had done, I absolutely did.”
Devon sat on the edge of the couch and eyed his friend. “And now?”
“I love her. And knowing what I did to her, what I felt while I was doing it, sickens me. I’m so ashamed of the person I was that I can’t even think about it without wanting to puke.”
“No one says you have to be that person now,” Devon said quietly.
Rafael closed his eyes and shook his head. “Do you know she’s been telling me that all along? She kept saying that I didn’t have to be the person I always was and that just because something has always been didn’t mean it always had to be.”
“Sounds like a smart woman.”
“Oh, God, Devon, I messed this up. How could I have done what I did? How could I have done something like that to her? She’s the most beautiful, loving and generous woman I’ve ever met. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Her and our child. I want us to be a family. But how can she ever forgive me for this? How can I ever forgive myself?”
“I don’t have the answers,” Devon admitted. “But you won’t find them here. You’re going to have to fight for her if you love her and want her. If you give up, that just tells her that you are the man you used to be and that you haven’t changed.”
Rafael raised his head, his chest so heavy that it was a physical ache. “I can’t let her go. I have no idea how I’m going to make her understand, but I can’t let her go. No matter what I did then, no matter how big of a bastard I was then, that’s not who I am now. I love her. I want another chance. God, if she’ll just give me another chance, I’ll never give her reason to doubt me again.”
“You’re convincing the wrong person,” Devon said. “I’m on your side, man. Even if you are the biggest jackass in North America. And hey, whatever happens with this resort deal, I’m behind you one-hundred percent, okay? We’ll figure something out. Now go get your girl.”
Twenty-One
Bryony walked off the elevator in shock. Her limbs were numb. Her hands were like ice. She was on autopilot, her mind barely functioning.
Rafael’s harsh words played over and over in her mind.
I used her.
I seduced her.
She flinched and wobbled toward the door, where the doorman stepped in front of her and put a hand on her arm. “Miss Morgan, if you would wait here, please.”
She looked up at the man in confusion. “Why?”
“Just wait, please.”
She shook her head and started to walk out the door only to have him take her arm and steer her back into the lobby again.
Anger was slowly replacing her numb shock. She yanked her arm away from the older man and retreated. “Don’t touch me.” She backed right into another person; she turned to excuse herself but found herself looking up at the mountain who worked as Rafael’s head of security.
“Miss Morgan, I had no idea you were in the city.” He frowned. “You should have let Mr. de Luca know so I could have met you at the airport. Did you come with no escort?”
The doorman looked relieved that Ramon was there and he hastily resumed his position by the door, leaving her to stand by the security man.
“I’m not staying,” she said tightly. “In fact, I’m on my way back to the airport now.”
Ramon looked puzzled, and then Ryan Beardsley was there, inserting himself between her and Ramon.
“That will be all, Ramon. I’ll take Miss Morgan where she needs to go.”
“The hell you will,” Bryony muttered. She turned and stalked toward the door.
Ryan caught up to her as soon as she stepped outside. He took her arm, but his hold was gentle. So was the look on his face. The sympathy burning in his eyes made her want to cry.
“Let me give you a ride,” he offered gently. “It’s cold and you really shouldn’t take a cab if you have no idea where you’re going. You probably don’t even have a hotel, am I right?”
She shook her head. “I was planning to stay with Rafael.” She broke off as tears brimmed in her eyes.
“Come on,” he said. “I’ll take you to my place. It’s not far. I have a spare bedroom.”
“I want to go back to the airport,” she said. “There’s no point in staying here.”
He hesitated and then cupped her elbow to lead her out of the building. “All right. I’ll take you back to the airport. But I’m not leaving you until you get on a plane. You probably haven’t even eaten anything, have you?”
She looked at him, utterly confused by how nice he was being to her.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked.
He stared at her for a long moment, brief pain flickering in his own eyes. “Because I know what it’s like to have the rug completely pulled out from under you. I know what it’s like to find out something about someone you cared about. I know what it’s like to be lied to.”
Her shoulders sagged and she wiped a shaking hand through her hair. “I’m just going to cry all over you.”
His smile was brief but he turned her and motioned to a distant car. “You can cry all you want to. From what I heard, you’re entitled.”
“You can go now,” Bryony said in a low voice, as Ryan hoisted her only bag onto the scale at the airline check-in desk.
“You’ve got a little time. Let’s go get something to eat. You’re pale and you’re shaking still.”
“I don’t think I can.” She placed her hand on her stomach and tried to will the queasiness away.
“Then a drink. Some juice. I’ll make sure you get back to security in enough time to catch your flight.”
She sighed her acceptance. It was much easier to just cede to Ryan’s determination, though for the life of her she couldn’t figure it out. In a few moments he had her seated at a little round table outside a tiny bistro, a tall glass of orange juice in front of her.
Her eyes watered as she stared sightlessly at it. Her fingers trembled as she touched the cool surface.
“Ah, hell, you aren’t going to cry again, are you?”
She sucked in steadying breaths. “I’m sorry. You’ve been nothing but kind. You don’t deserve to have me fall apart all over you.”
“It’s okay. I understand how you feel.”
“Oh?” she asked in a shaky voice. “You said you knew what it felt like. Who screwed you over?”
“The woman I was supposed to marry.”
She winced. “Ouch. Yeah, it sucks, doesn’t it? At least Rafael never promised to marry me. He certainly hinted about it but he never went that far in his deception. So what happened?”
Ryan’s mouth twisted and for a moment, Bryony thought he’d say nothing.
“She slept with my brother just weeks after we became engaged.”
“That’ll do it,” she said wearily. “I’m sorry that happened to you. Sucks when people you put all your faith into gut you in return.”
“That about sums up my feelings on the subject,” Ryan said with an amused chuckle.
She drained the juice and set the glass back down on the table.
“Let me get you something to eat. Can you keep it down now?”
Ryan’s concern was endearing and she offered a halfhearted smile. “Thanks. I don’t feel hungry, but you’re right. I should probably eat.”
He got up and a few minutes later returned with a selection of deli sandwiches and another glass of orange juice. As soon as she took the first bite, she realized just how hungry she was.
Ryan studied her for a long moment, sympathy bright in his eyes. “What will you do now?”
She paused midchew and then continued before swallowing. She took a sip of the juice and then set the glass back down.
“Go home. Have a baby. Try to forget. Move on with my life. I have my grandmother and the people on the island. I’ll be fine.”
“I wonder if that’s what Kelly did,” he mused aloud. “Went on with her life.”
“Is that her name? Kelly? Your ex-fiancée?”
He nodded.
“So she didn’t hang around? With your brother I mean? I suppose that would be awkward at family get-togethers.”
“No, she didn’t hang around. I have no idea where she went.”
“Probably just as well. If she was the kind of person who’d sleep with the brother of the man she’s going to marry, she isn’t worth your idle curiosity.”
“Maybe,” he said quietly.
Silence fell and Bryony picked at her food, getting down what she could. She kept hearing Rafael’s damning words over and over in her head. No matter what she did, she couldn’t turn it off, couldn’t make it go away.