Six o’ clock alarm please go away. It’s just too early. You’d think, after seventeen years, I’d be used to getting up and going to school. I can assure you I am not. I’m just not a morning person. It makes no sense for everything to have to happen early. We are well beyond the farmer days. Getting up with the sun to get as much done as possible in the daylight is completely unnecessary because now we have electricity. Meaning, we can have light anytime during the day. Ugh, if only the world thought like me. I guess I have to get ready for school. I ironed a polo shirt and a pair of boot cut jeans.
After I ate the breakfast mom prepared, I waited for Phillip in the car to avoid any extra conversations. Some days are better than others, but most days it is just too early to talk. My parents seem to just wake up ready to discuss everything life changing. I guess that’s what happens when you get old. Phillip came out shortly after I got in the car and we left for school.
“Everyone put your backpacks and books against the wall. Make sure you have at least two pencils with erasers. Keep your eyes on your own paper, unless you want to fail the test. You have forty minutes to complete forty multiple choice questions and two short answers,” Ms. Angelo said as she passed out our history tests.
I am very well prepared for this test. History is definitely one of my strongest subjects. When I got my paper, I immediately started marking the answers. Around question seven, I felt eyes on me. I looked to my right, only to find Kevin staring at me.
Kevin is the star quarterback of the football team. He just signed a full scholarship to play with Alabama. If he was admiring me, I would probably melt in my chair. He is so handsome and very well built. Unfortunately, it wasn’t me he was admiring. It was my answers.
I looked back down at my paper. Knowing I shouldn’t help him cheat, I moved the test questions sheet over the answer sheet covering the answers I had shaded. I answered a few more questions, but couldn’t help feeling his eyes on me. I know all he wants is to use me. He isn’t the least bit interested in anything other than the answers. I looked at him again because I was curious of his response.
“Please,” he mouthed to me.
It’s crazy. I know his true intentions, yet I still get a weird feeling in my stomach from his attention. It’s just one test. I uncovered my answers and finished the test. I know it is wrong, but it feels better than right. The bell rang and I headed for the cafeteria.
I sat at a random table and started eating. A group of girls was talking about their clothes and makeup. The usual girl talk I suppose. I don’t engage in “girl” talk so I have to base my assumption on what I see in movies. One of the girls started talking about her boyfriend. He had snuck into her room last night. As she was giving her friends all the juicy details, one of them slipped and said a curse word. She looked around to see if any one heard her and saw me.
“Sorry Missy, I didn’t know you were there,” she said. “Let’s go sit over there.” She told the other girls and they moved.
Everyone’s always sorry to speak around me because they know I’m a preacher’s kid. I wish I didn’t stand out so much. I’d like to be part of a conversation without someone excusing themselves. I’m about to be an adult. I think I can handle it. I feel like a little kid in an adult conversation all the time. I can’t wait to get away from here.
“Hey Missy,” Sandy said way too eagerly as she sat down beside me with her tray of food. “God is so good. He helped me remember all the answers on my math test.”
She was busily handling her food like she always does. She has to set everything up just right. Then, she stirs each item that can be mixed, like fruit cocktail. Since I am using fruit cocktail as an example, I might as well hit on how she separates and groups the like fruit pieces. One would think this takes a long time, but she moves so quickly it only takes a few seconds. It is definitely a routine. She finishes by bowing her head and joining her hands in prayer.
I pray over my food as well, just not so dramatically. I prefer not to draw attention. A simple eye closure is good enough.
I almost forgot to listen. She had started back talking between bites. Considering, she is one of the only people who will talk to me I have to entertain her for now.
“Tonight I’m going to host a Bible reading at my house. You are welcome to attend. I will be reading from the Book of Acts. My mom is going to buy refreshments. I invited several people from school and the church.”
Sandy attends our church. She is always too eager to be involved in everything. And she is always trying to talk to me about Bible or church functions. What she doesn’t know is I am not interested in doing anything extra. I do enough already. There is something to do every day it seems.
“I’ll have to check with my mom to see if we don’t already have plans,” I said with more intention than I actually had towards doing it. I would ask my mom about our plans, but I wouldn’t volunteer myself for another meeting.
For the remainder of my lunch, I had to listen to everything God has been doing for everybody in her family. I like a good testimony, but must I be surrounded by this ALL the time. I wonder what it would be like to have real friends and talk about something other than God. It seems like everyone is afraid to talk to me because they fear I may judge them or look down on them. I feel so smothered sometimes. I just want be free.
“Hey Missy. Hey Sandy. How are you doing?” Phillip said as he walked over to see how my day was going.
Yes! A well-deserved break. I was considering going to the bathroom, but this is even better. Now, I can save the bathroom trick for later.
“I’m doing very well. Today has been such a blessing. God just has me in His hand.” Sandy responded before I could say anything. She was just a grinning.
I wonder if she knows how foolish she looks. Phillip isn’t interested in a relationship and everyone who knows him knows it. He smiled back at her.
“That’s good. God is good. What about you, Sis?” He geared his attention to me this time. Obviously, he wanted to avoid any misunderstanding and unwanted conversation.
“Today is just a typical school day. I’m pretty sure I aced my History test. It was so easy. Lunch is, well, lunch. And I can’t wait until school is over. How’s your day going?”
My brother and I have a good relationship. Sometimes I wish he wasn’t always so anxious to do extra stuff at the church; resulting in my attendance as well. But overall, I couldn’t have a better little brother. We talk to each other a lot because, even though we are different, I know he understands me.
“Today has been great, except for Science. Jasmine stared at me all throughout class. It was kind of weird.”
He stressed the word “weird” and looked at Sandy who was still grinning and staring. I tilted my head down to hide my smile and giggle within, but acted like I was looking at something on my plate. He knows I have an inappropriate laughing problem. I don’t know why he does this. Sandy looked back at her plate and decided to eat something.
“Other than that, it’s all good.” He took a quick glance around the cafeteria probably looking for his friends. “I’ll see you after school Missy.” He must have spotted someone. He gave me a hug.
“Ok. I have to speak with my music teacher for a sec after school; then we can go. I don’t want you to be waiting for me by the car.”
He nodded. “Ok. Bye.” He hesitated. “Bye, Sandy.”
She started back grinning. “Bye, Phillip. I’ll see you at church.”
He had already turned his back.
“Missy, do you think Phillip likes me?” She said leaning in close to me.
These poor girls still just don’t get it. This is one of those moments I wish I could click my heels like Dorothy and be gone. I looked back at Sandy. She has the biggest “Kool-Aid” smile plastered on her pitiful face. I can’t give the response I want to give because it would unintentional
ly be more hurtful than helpful.
“I think he loves you like a sister in the body of Christ.” I said before laughing on the inside. I hoped my voice didn’t sound humorous.
“Seriously Missy, Do you?” She looked at me as if she needed to know so badly.
Why does it matter what I think? Surely, if he likes you he will let you know, right.
“Sandy, Phillip just doesn’t want a relationship right now. His priority is his ministry.” The words registered with her but went nowhere.
“I know. God’s work is so very important. I would never want to distract him.” She glanced down, then back up again. “But do you think when he is ready, he would like me?”
Bless her little heart. She is so hopeless right now. Phillip may be forty before he wants a wife. I giggled again on the inside.
“I don’t know Sandy. I really don’t even know what he likes.”
This is a true statement. However, I have reason to believe, if his taste is anything like dad’s taste in women, he probably wouldn’t. While Sandy isn’t bad looking, she is just ordinary. Mom is beyond pretty. She can draw your attention, even if, she is standing in a crowd of a thousand people. I have seen some pretty women, but none of them compare to my mom. Of course, I could be biased.
“One day the man God has for you will find you. You just have to wait and believe in his promises. Have faith and pray daily. Be specific with Him about the characteristics you want. Then, wait and let the man find you as it was intended.”
I know the right things to say because I have been drenched in everything holy to the point that it seeps out my mind, yet I don’t know if it is in my heart. Also, my mom constantly reminds me about the importance of praying for a mate.
I decided to close on a lighter note. “Besides, high school is so little in the grand scheme of things. There will be ample opportunities to meet a mate. It doesn’t have to happen now.” I guess it was good enough for her as she didn’t continue the conversation.
“Hey Missy.”
I looked to see where the voice came from. My eyes met Kevin’s. The weird feeling in my stomach returned. He was so close I felt nervous too. I couldn’t speak. I don’t think I have ever spoken to him.
“Thanks for helping me out earlier.” He winked.
Who winks now a day? It’s such an old gesture. Yet, I can’t believe he winked at me. He even talked to me in a lunchroom full of people.
Despite my heart pounding interest, I was glad he turned and walked away, instead of waiting for my response because I didn’t have one to give.
Kevin and Missy. His name fits perfectly with mine. It has a certain ring to it, like destiny. Now would be a good time to pray that God remove any lustful thoughts, cleanse my mind and make it new. Although I wasn’t thinking anything inappropriate, I was just thinking of what it would be like to have someone like Kevin take interest in me. Nevertheless, I have been warned that an overly involved interest can quickly be converted to lust when Satan is given the opportunity. I have to guard even the most innocent thoughts of interest. Despite hopeless intention, it is a dream I don’t want to lose because I don’t know that I will ever have the reality.
“Mrs. Fontarry?” I said while giving a quick knock on the classroom door before entering the class.
“Missy, how are you? Thank you for coming to meet with me.” Mrs. Fontarry--my music teacher-- greeted me, while looking genuinely happy to see me.
She is one of the younger teachers at the school. I really like the color of her eyes. They are like a light turquoise blue hazel color. She has a pretty smile too. The guys all think she is pretty and drop hints at it all the time. She ignores the subtle flirting, but in a graceful non-offensive way.
“No problem. I’m good. How are you?”
She had already gotten out of her seat and was now walking towards me.
“I’m good too. I wanted to talk to you about an opportunity that has presented itself. I am hoping you’ll be interested. A friend of mine asked me to teach her daughter, who is eight, how to play the piano. I already have so many people that I am instructing and with my school responsibilities I just don’t have the time. I told her I may be able to recommend someone. I immediately thought of you.
I know you don’t teach, but you play so very well. I know you can. And you can make a little extra money too. She really is a sweet girl and won’t give you any trouble.
So, what do you think?”
She looked into my eyes for any sign of what I was thinking.
She is right I do play piano very well, but I have never tried to teach anyone. I’m not sure if I can. Oh well, maybe I can use the challenge.
“Sure. Mrs. Fontarry. I have never tried to teach piano before so I’m sure it will be different, but I’m up for the challenge.”
She looked so relieved. A smile came across her face. “Oh thank you so much, Missy. You don’t know how much it means to me. I’ll call her tonight and let you know the details tomorrow.”
I can’t believe I just gave myself something else to do. At least it isn’t church related though. Maybe it can be in lieu of something I’m already doing; instead of in addition to it. I’d have to talk to my mom about it.
When I made it to the parking lot, I saw Phillip standing by the car. He was looking at his cellphone; probably playing a game or something.
He looked up when I had almost reached the car. “So how’d it go?” He said as I unlocked the doors.
We both got in before I answered him “It was great. Mrs. Fontarry offered me a job teaching piano to one of her friend’s eight year old daughter.” I looked at him to see his response.
“Oh that’s cool. Think you can do it? You never tried teaching before.”
I know I have never tried it, but who knows I may be good at it. Besides, if it does not work out, I’d just have to stop and tell Mrs. Fontarry.
“I don’t know if I can do it, but I figured I’d try. We will see what happens.” I responded.
He looked out the window. “Guess so, at least you get to try something different.”
For curiosity’s sake, I want to know what he thinks about what happened today with my history test. Even though I know it was wrong, I guess I just want to talk about it and get another perspective.
“So, you know how I had my History test today?” I glanced over at him.
“Yeah, you said you aced it. Good job.” He was still looking out the window.
“Yeah I did. But Kevin got some answers off my paper. I saw him looking and I covered my paper, but I felt him still looking at me. I don’t know I guess I felt bad and wanted to help him out. Or maybe I just liked the attention. Whatever it was, I moved my cover sheet and let him cheat.”
Phillip was looking at me now.
“Missy, why’d you let him cheat off of you?” He put special emphasis on “him”.
Everyone knows Kevin; mainly because he is so good at football. Add the fact that he is super cute and you have a very cocky fellow. I knew it was ridiculous to like him, especially at my status.
“He will use anyone he can. You are so much better than that, Missy.”
I knew what he meant, but I still didn’t like it. “So if it wasn’t Kevin, it wouldn’t be bad to help him cheat? I don’t know why I did it. It’s not like I gave him the answers. I’m not dumb enough to get caught talking during a test. I just didn’t cover my paper and he happened to be looking. It’s almost the same as if he did it while I was unaware…”
He interrupted me. “But you were ‘aware’ and it’s not the same as not knowing. And it doesn’t matter who it is, you are better than allowing others to use your hard work to get ahead. He doesn’t deserve to make that grade.
You do because you earned it. I don’t like how Kevin uses everybody. He thinks he is above everybody and everything. I know you girls like the way he looks, but, Missy, d
on’t get caught up in the hype.” He paused slightly.
“You are too good for him. You are really pretty. I don’t know why you try to hide it. You look just like mom. You could have any guy you want. You just don’t want to be noticed.”
Why would I not want to be noticed? Of course, I want people to like me. I just don’t think I’m all that pretty. The girl I see when I look in the mirror is just an ordinary girl. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I don’t think I’m a bombshell either. It feels more comfortable not to draw attention to myself. As far as the test is concerned, justification makes a bad choice feel better. What can I say? I am only human. I had to at least try to relieve my conscience.
“Thanks Phillip. I knew it was wrong. I just wanted to do it. For a moment, I wanted him to like me. I know one day my prince charming will come.” I glanced at him and smiled “Speaking of prince charming, what’s with you and Sandy?”
He turned back to the window. “You know I’m not interested in a relationship right now. Sandy’s cool. It’s just… not now. I don’t like how she stares at me and smiles all the time though. It’s just like Jasmine. Weird.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. When will these girls learn?
“She just likes you; that’s all.” I turned into the driveway.
“Yeah I know. I just feel like we have our whole life to do ‘adult’ things and have ‘adult’ feelings. I just want to enjoy being a kid-- stress and worry free. My friends are in relationships. It’s not worth the hype or the drama. I want what mom and dad have, but I’m not ready for the responsibility; neither are these girls.”
I can’t argue with that. Yet I decided to humor him. “One day young lad, one will come and render you senseless as she steals your heart away.” I laughed.
“Yeah, one day… in the far and distant future.”
We went inside.
Mmmmm cookies, I can smell them. I love my mom. She knows how to spoil her family. I love my brother too. I can talk to him about anything.
“How was your day?” Mom said as we walked into the kitchen.
“Good” we both replied.
“I baked you cookies. They are chocolate chip, your favorite.”
My mom has to be the most perfect homemaker. She is so natural in the position. Cooking and cleaning like it’s the best job ever. I don’t share that love with her. I don’t like doing either one. I suppose one day I will have to step it up, but that won’t be anytime soon. In fact, when I start my job, I should probably start saving for a maid. Just my luck my husband won’t think it is necessary and ban my pursuit. Note to self: Question “house maintenance” preferences on the first date. I’ll have to add that to my “husband qualities” list as well.
“Thanks mom” I grabbed one of the extra- large homemade cookies and took a bite. Delicious. Homemade cookies are the best. When I have kids, they will probably only know frozen store bought cookies…unless mom makes them. I grabbed a cup of milk to compliment my snack.
“What’s for dinner?” I asked not for preference, but anticipation.
“My famous lasagna.” She responded with a grin.
She knows that is my absolute favorite. Yes, I can’t wait. I grabbed a plate with three more cookies and went to my room.
CHAPTER 3--MISSY