***
I wasn't sure what had happened next, how I got here, or even where I was. I could just hear voices around me whispering heatedly. I was sure I recognised my parents, but I couldn't be certain.
What I was aware of was that I was lying in someone's arms. Their shirt was open and my head was pressed against their chest. I could hear the rhythmic beating of their heart. But what I really noticed was their hand stroking my left cheek.
It felt like I was dreaming. Not in a million years would I be lying here in a boy's arms. The only man's arms I'd ever laid in were my Dad's.
I slowly opened my eyes and peered through my lashes. I was in a room made purely of stone blocks. There was an unlit fire place next to me, with a shelf above it that held candles and picture frames. I couldn't make out who were in the pictures, but there was something familiar about them. I was sure I'd seen them before.
My eyes continued to search the room. I'd made the conscious decision not to move my head yet. Along one wall stood a giant bookcase, full of old books I'd never seen before.
I could still hear voices coming from somewhere behind me. Now I was more than positive that my parents were there, as I heard my Mum's furious voice saying something about Justin and how he should train his pets better.
Slowly, I tried to move my head up.
“Hi.” Sean whispered gently. I could feel his warm breath on top of my head. I managed to slowly pull my head up to meet his gaze.
His eyes were full of concern. I couldn't believe my face was so close to his. His eyelashes were so long, and his eyes so deep and tranquil.
I could feel and smell his breath on me. I couldn't quite tell what it smelt of, but it was delicious. His lips were evenly proportioned, covering his perfect teeth. It would take me less than a second to press my lips to his.
“Sorry,” was all I could I could get out. Mainly for what I was just thinking, but also because he'd had to put up with me in his arms.
It hurt to talk, and I tried to adjust my body into a sitting position, then winced and gasped in pain.
“Erin?” Before I could blink, my parents were on the floor, at my feet, with faces full of concern.
“Hi!” I croaked and without thinking I rested back against Sean's chest. I still didn't know why his shirt was open, but, right now, I didn't care. It felt warm, and safe.
His hand still remained on my face. Though now he had stopped stroking it. I felt his cheek rest on the top of my head, and I was sure his lips just brushed by hair, but I couldn't be sure. Everything felt so surreal.
“How are you feeling?” My Mum's voice worried asked, as her hands stroked my leg.
“Sore.” My bottom lip trembled as I started to remember why I was in so much pain. Tears started to fill my eyes.
“Shhh!” My Dad soothed. “It's ok. You're safe now. She's not here and she won't get anywhere near you.”
Just hearing him mention her, without even saying her name, made me anxious and scared. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and Sean's smooth fingers gently brushed them away and resumed stroking my left cheek again.
It was comforting. I had no idea why he was still here, why I was still in his arms, why he hadn't run off and left me? Why would someone as perfect as him want to be so close to someone like me?
Yes, my parents had always told me that I was special and unique. That God had left his mark of love on my left cheek, because he thought I was special too.
No matter how many questions I had, I didn't want to leave his warm, comforting embrace. It felt like his arms were made just for me.
“It's ready.” Kelly spoke, interrupting my thoughts.
Why was she still here? And what was ready?
“Thanks.” My Mum replied, then turned back to face me. “Erin?” She was now standing and had her arms out, reaching for me.
Before I could respond, Sean had stood up, with me in his arms.
“I'll carry her through, if that's okay?” It wasn't really a question, and I saw my parent's exchange a glance.
Sean, seeing the panic in my eyes tilted his head forward to whisper in my ear.
“It’s okay. You're safe. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. I'll be right here when you get back.”
Back from where?
I think the alarm in my eyes had asked the question.
“Don't worry.” He then kissed the top of my head. This startled me. He saw this and smiled. I could have stayed like this forever. This was probably what heaven felt like, apart from the pain in my ribs that hurt every time I took a breath. But something broke my thoughts, or rather a smell. It smelled like lots of flowers and fruit. I could only pick out the smell of Lavender and Oranges.
My Mum was already two steps ahead and had already opened the door to where the wonderful smells were coming from. Then I realised we were in a bathroom. Not too big, it fitted a bath and sink on one wall and a toilet on another.
Sean gently placed me down on the floor. It hurt to stand, so I leaned into him for support. He didn't seem to mind, but my Mum did.
“You'll need to leave now!” She told him sternly, making me panic. I didn't want him to leave. He said he would stay with me.
Before the rantings in my head got the better of me, Sean stroked the left side of my face with the back of his hand.
“I'll be in the other room.” he smiled reassuringly.
Once he'd left the room and shut the door behind him, my Mum helped me take my clothes off. I gasped when I saw all the deep purple bruises. Some were raised and some had broken skin, with dry blood surrounding them. Some had dried to my clothes and I cried out in pain as my Mum pulled my fabric out of the already dried wounds. Where I'd been kicked and stamped in the ribs, there seemed to be a footprint. My body shook as I saw myself naked. How could anyone do this to a person?
My clothes were ruined. My Mum had told me that she was going to have to throw them in the bin.
She eased me slowly into the bath. I couldn't remember the last time she had seen me naked, let alone put me in the bath. She placed a bath pillow carefully behind my head, whilst I watched her face. She looked like she wanted to cry, but she was putting on a brave face for me.
“Where are we?” My voice was no louder than a whisper, “And why are we here?” I had so many questions I wanted to ask. But I didn't want to ask her the main questions, which were all about Sean. Why wasn't he repulsed by me?
My parents hated it when I spoke negatively about myself. So I knew this type of question would just upset her more.
“We are at your grandparent’s cottage.” She stood up straight and went to light some incense sticks that were on the window-sill. “But there's no need to worry yourself with trivial questions right now.” She turned back to me and smiled. But all I could do was think about Jessica. I tried to sit up in a panic and ended up crying out. “Hey, hey!” she soothed. “You're fine. We will answer any questions in due time.” She leaned over to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be back shortly. Just lie back and try to relax.” Before I could reply she was gone.
I'm not sure how long I lay there for. Fifteen minutes? Thirty? An hour? Too long, in my opinion. I had let my mind run over things that had happened today. Where was Jessica now?
I didn't hear my Mum return. I was too deep in my own thoughts. I jumped when she touched my arm. She smiled at the confused look in my face. Why hadn't it hurt when I moved? Actually, I didn't feel any pain. I looked across my body to examine my bruises, which were deep purple when I'd gotten into the bath. Now they were a yellowy brown colour.
“It's the medicine in the bath.” She answered my unspoken question, as she laid what looked like some clothes on top of the closed toilet seat and opened a large bath sheet and hung it over the radiator. “I've brought you some pyjamas and I've called Kasey-Ray and told her where we are and that we'll collect her tomorrow evening.” She turned back to me thoughtfully. “When you've finished, just get out and get dressed. I'll be in the other roo
m. I'll have a mug of hot chocolate waiting for you.”
Without waiting for a reply, she smiled at my opened mouth expression, and left the room.
Reaching for the soap, I started to wash myself. I couldn't believe I felt no pain. When I was finished, I climbed out of the bath and wrapped myself in the towel. It was so warm and soft.
I walked across to where the clothes lay, to examine them more closely with a feeling of dread. I hoped my Mum hadn't brought my favourite pyjamas, which were too short in the legs and full of holes. The sense of relief filled me when I realised she hadn't, as I picked up a pair of pink satin pyjama's, which I hadn't seen before, let alone worn.
I slowly dressed and brushed my hair, without looking in the mirror. Then I sat on the closed toilet lid, chewing my fingernails, I sat there for at least five minutes, trying to build up the courage to go into the next room. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and took the five steps from the toilet to the door and placed my hand on the door handle.
I could hear different conversations, but I couldn't make out what was being said. I think my Dad must have told a joke because I heard Paul and James laugh in unison.
With another deep breath I turned the handle and opened the door.
Everyone turned to look at me, which made me feel self-conscious. I was used to people staring, but not with smiles on their faces.
The fire was lit. It smelled wonderful and the sound was so relaxing. On the floor were the twins and Kelly. The twins seemed to be hanging on every word my Dad said, who sat on the seat next to my Mum on an old two seater sofa. My Mum and Kelly were talking about… cooking, I think.
Sitting alone in the armchair that Sean and I had sat in, facing the fire, was Justin. He wasn't smiling. In fact, he looked depressed, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
In the middle, facing directly to the fire, was a three-seater sofa. On one end, making me gasp as I took in how even more beautiful Sean was, with the colours of the fire reflecting off his face.
How could one person get better looking every time I saw them?
He was smiling a huge smile, which made his eyes dance and my heart flutter. He patted the seat next to him and held out his hand. I hesitated for a moment, not completely sure what to do. Everyone else had gone back to their conversations. So taking a deep breath to slow my racing heart, I took the eleven steps over to where he sat.
He pulled me down next to him and gently put his arm around my shoulders before reaching over to grab a mug of hot chocolate from the table next to him and handed it to me.
Then without warning, he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. Instead of releasing me, he kept me pressed against him as I drank my hot chocolate. I was aware of the feeling of him burying his head into my damp hair. What was going on here? I wanted to shout.
“You smell nice.” He murmured into my hair.
I didn't reply. I was too confused with what was happening, so I just sat and drank my hot chocolate.
When I was finished, he took the empty mug from my hands and placed it back on the table, then he reached back with his free hand and placed it on mine. Without realising, he had moved the hand that was furthest away from him, and placed it around his waist, like I was embracing him. I wasn't complaining. I was confused.
“Tired?” He asked, moving his head to look into my eyes.
I quickly shook my head, not wanting to admit that I was shattered.
My eyes glanced across his shirt, to see if it was still open. Unfortunately, it wasn't. I sighed, I knew I must be dreaming and eventually I would wake up. Then I felt his fingers gently stroking my left cheek. My body started to relax, my eyes grew heavy and I fought with them to stay open. I knew that if they closed and I opened them again I would be in my own bed and none of this would have happened.
I couldn't fight it anymore and eventually my eyes closed.