Ander slanted her another odd look. “No worries. I have it up.”
Lori snorted. “I can see that. It’s very impressively up. I was just wondering in general. I mean, obviously you won’t be attracted to all of your clients. And maybe sometimes you find them very unattractive. Do you have some sort of mental thing you do to make sure you’re up for the job?”
There was a pause as Ander rolled a condom down over his erection. “Yes,” he said at last. “I do. When people say the brain is the most important sexual organ, they’re not making it up. With some practice, you can think yourself into arousal.”
Lori considered that as Ander slicked up his condom-encased cock with a good amount of lube. A weird impulse prompted her to quip, “But you didn’t have to do any mental acrobatics to get hard for me, did you?”
His lips twitched. “Of course not.”
She fought a smile and asked, “You say that to all the girls, don’t you?”
“What do you think?” He actually smiled at her. It wasn’t broad and it was half-ironic, but Lori loved how it changed his whole face. “You ready?”
She nodded again, gulping as he got back into bed and settled himself between her legs. He was big. And she tried not to envision how tightly he would fit.
“I think we better start with missionary,” he said, propping himself up above her. “There’s good reason it’s the old favorite.”
“Sounds good.” Lori was washed with waves of heat—it seemed to radiate off his body.
“The pressure is going to be uncomfortable at first. There’s no help for it. You’re very aroused, so that will make it easier. The pressure will get a lot better once I’m all the way in. Try to breathe through it and not clench up—just like you were doing last time. If it’s too bad, tell me and I’ll pull out.”
“Okay.” Once again, her arms felt awkward and in the way. She ended up putting her hands on Ander’s shoulders. “I’m ready,” she said, breathing deeply and forcing her pelvic muscles to stay relaxed.
She felt the tip of his cock nudging at her entrance. Then about an inch of penetration. It wasn’t bad. She took another deep breath. As she released it, he eased himself in a few inches more. More pressure now.
“All right?”
“Yeah,” she gasped. Her fingers had tightened on his shoulders.
Ander’s eyes never left her face as he pulled back slightly and readjusted. “Take three more deep breaths. When you let out your breath the third time, I’m going to go in a lot deeper.”
She nodded, tossing her head back and forth on the pillow for a moment as she fought against her instinctive reactions. Then she focused on breathing as Ander had directed.
On her third long exhale, she felt a significant increase in pressure. His slide into her channel was careful, and at one point he pulled back and re-angled before he pushed into her again. The discomfort was momentarily so intense she choked out a pained mew.
She heard Ander breathing above her, and he held himself very still, his cock sheathed in her body. “All right?”
Lori nodded mutely. The worst of the pain was already easing, but the discomfort remained. She felt too full, too tight, too much.
“Just tell me when you’re ready.” His voice was a little hoarse, which was unusual enough to cause her to look up at him. His expression was neutral, however. Just as professional as ever.
She lay for a minute or two, breathing, shifting a little beneath him, and trying to adjust to his size. Finally, she said, “Okay. I think I’m good. Thanks for being so patient.”
Ander stared down at her, his eyebrows drawing together slightly. “You can take as long as you need.”
Lori shook her head, a few strands of hair sticking to her hot face. “I feel pretty decent. You’re going to help me, aren’t you? Show me how to do this?”
With a small smile, he said, “Whatever you want.”
He eased his cock out halfway, then pitched his hips forward in an experimental thrust. “All right?”
“Yeah.” She felt overly stimulated but her nervousness was nearly gone. Instead, a surge of excitement coursed through her. She was doing this. She was having sex.
Ander began a slow, gentle rhythm, his cock sliding inside her in an increasingly pleasurable way. “You can move your hips,” he said after a minute. “See if you can match my rhythm.”
She did as he instructed, still clinging to his shoulders. It made the friction inside her feel even better.
“How is it?” Ander asked. It was hard to see in the darkened room, but she thought he might be perspiring a little.
“It’s good,” she admitted, “Still a little uncomfortable but nothing too bad.”
Ander adjusted above her, getting more leverage with this knees. “Let’s see if we can get you to come. I’m going to rub your clit, if that’s all right.”
“Yeah. Good.” Her excitement was rising up now even more, now that the worst was over. And her previous arousal was building back up. She wanted to come. Really wanted to come. “Can we go a little faster?” she asked, starting to get breathless again.
“Of course.”
Ander adjusted his weight onto his knees, using one straightened arm to brace himself above her. He accelerated his rhythm, his pelvis pumping quickly against hers. Then he squeezed his free arm between their bodies, down near where they were joined.
Lori gasped in pleasure when she felt firm pressure on her clit.
“Try to keep moving with me,” Ander said when she began to wriggle shamelessly in response.
She adjusted her motion, making sure she met each of his thrusts. The erotic momentum inside her was now climbing quickly. Her body tensed and her breathing disintegrated into urgent pants.
Ander’s head jerked slightly, his eyes cutting to the right. But his voice was low and soothing as he murmured, “That’s right. Good. You’re getting tighter, but remember not to clench up too much. You’ll enjoy it more if you relax.”
Lori didn’t want to relax. She wanted to snatch at the coiled pressure and force it to finally let go. Her body started to shake as waves of heat and cold washed over her. Ander’s rhythmic thrusts and the skillful press on her clit trapped her in erotic urgency. The only sounds she made were thick drags for air, and her fingers dug into Ander’s strong shoulders.
“You’re almost there, Lori.” Ander’s voice came as if from a blurry distance. “Try to breathe.”
She sucked in air. Then let it out in a slow exhale. Her body bounced desperately with her feet planted on the mattress and her legs bent up.
“Almost there,” Ander murmured, “One more breath.”
He was right. On the next exhale, all of her tension broke in pulses of rippling pleasure. Lori’s mouth opened wide in a silent cry as her body tried to bend backward.
Ander’s cock suddenly felt so much thicker and harder inside her. He slowed his thrusting until he was just making little pushes into her tightened channel. And he stopped moving completely when Lori’s body began to relax.
A little giggle escaped her.
Astonished, she tried to bite her lip over the silly sound, but another one rippled out without warning. She released Ander’s shoulder so she could clamp her hand over her mouth as she kept giggling.
It was an absolutely absurd thing to do. But she was overcome with dizzying relief, pride and accomplishment. She’d had sex at last. And it had been good. And she’d even managed to come.
Ander’s eyebrows went sky-high.
“Sorry,” she choked out, managing to get herself under control. There was more discomfort between her legs now—since the rising pleasure had faded and his cock was still stretching and filling her.
“Is this a good thing?” Ander asked, his eyes scanning her face.
“Yes,” she admitted. “It’s good. It was good. Thank you.” Before Ander could reply, she added, “Aren’t you going to come?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“Oh. Why
wouldn’t I want you to come?”
“Some of my clients don’t. And some of them want to delay it for as long as possible. Women are often able to climax more than once. If you want, we can try…”
Lori made a face. “I think I’m going to be sore already. No need to push my luck. Why don’t you come now?”
“It might take a few minutes,” he said, his eyes oddly searching.
She shrugged. “That’s fine. I can practice some more.”
“Tell me if I’m too hard,” Ander shifted his position, bringing both of his arms down to brace himself. “Or if you change your mind.”
As Ander built up a new rhythm, fast and just a little harder than he’d been thrusting into her before, Lori tried to imagine what kind of selfish, heartless bitch would expect a man to fuck her to orgasm and then pull out without coming himself. Like he was nothing but a tool, nothing but a dildo.
Then she realized that was exactly how a lot of men had been using women for centuries—as objects designed only for male pleasure. Lori knew why most women ended up in prostitution. Odds were the woman had suffered some sort of abuse or victimization.
Lori wondered with a weird little clench if men were different. Or if Ander had been victimized in some way, physically or emotionally, in the past.
“Everything all right?” Ander asked thickly, mid-thrust.
Realizing she’d let her mind wander at an inopportune time, she blinked up at him. “Yeah. Sorry. Everything’s good. Keep going.”
He hesitated, so she began to pump up her hips, trying to match his earlier tempo. This appeared to convince him, so he began to thrust again. This time, she watched him, fascinated by the tension on his face and the focused look in his blue-gray eyes as he stared down at her.
They moved together well, she thought, and she did her best to synchronize the rocking of her pelvis with his. She could already feel a soreness in her channel, but it wasn’t bad. Ander was taking it pretty easy on her.
“Should I do anything else?” she asked, feeling a little breathless again. She knew she wasn’t going to come, but there was something exciting about watching the tension coil tighter and tighter in Ander’s face and body.
“You’re good,” he muttered. “You’re good.”
She was clinging to his shoulders, and she acutely felt something tickling her wrist. Shifting her eyes, she saw one of her brown hairs tangled in her hand. She clenched unconsciously in response to the tickling and wriggled her fingers, trying to brush the hair away.
“That’s good,” he grunted, jerking his head to the side abruptly. “You can keep doing that.”
Lori blinked once, keeping her expression blank. She couldn’t imagine how her little hand jiggle on his shoulder had pleased him. Maybe men really were different than women. He’d done a remarkable job of pleasing her, though, and if he liked it she would do it. So she rippled her fingers lightly along his shoulder, as she’d done before.
Ander blinked once, almost exactly as she had. Then he made a choked sound in his throat. Then another.
She gasped in shock and bewilderment as his weight suddenly lowered on top of her. His elbows had buckled and he was abruptly much closer than before. His face buried in her neck, he made more of those choked sounds and his body shook against hers.
Nothing, not even her orgasm, had felt as good as this did—the inexplicable, uninhibited collapse and his shuddering body against hers. His hips jerked with a few, clumsy, unpracticed thrusts as he huffed, his hot breath blowing against her skin.
For one dazed moment, she thought her little finger wiggle had snapped his control. But it only took a few seconds for her to process what was happening.
He was laughing. Trying desperately to hide and to stifle it, but he was definitely laughing.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded.
“Nothing.” With impressive restraint, he grew still and straightened his arms, pulling himself off of her again. “I’m sorry. Nothing was funny.” Only his eyes and his faintly twitching lips belied the word.
She narrowed her eyes. “You were laughing at me.”
“I wasn’t laughing,” he said, eyes wide now and mouth relaxed. “Sometimes, no matter how hard to try to control myself, something feels so good that I—”
Lori gave an outraged huff and interrupted, “What a load of crap! I know laughing when I hear it.” Then she realized suddenly why he was lying to her. Accidentally laughing at a client during sex must be a nightmare scenario for him. His job was to please her, no matter what. So her voice softened as she said, “I’m not going to get mad. I mean it. But if I did something stupid, I’d like to know about it.”
Ander let out a breath, and his mouth gave one more little twitch. “I was laughing, but not at you. You didn’t do anything stupid .It was my fault. My directions were unclear. When I said you could keep doing that, I didn’t mean the hand. You’d squeezed around me at the same time. That’s what I meant.”
Lori processed this. “Oh, I get it.” She choked on a laugh herself. “No wonder you lost it.” The more she thought about it, the funnier it got. As she laughed softly, she gasped out, “And I thought you were some weirdo who got off from a little tap on your shoulder.”
Ander had himself fully under control now, but he smiled as she giggled. “Sorry about that.”
“No, don’t apologize,” she said. “I told you I don’t want to pretend. Did you want to keep going, or have you lost your momentum?” He still felt very hard inside her, but the interruption must have distracted him.
“That’s up to you.”
“I said I’d like you to come, if you think you can.”
“I can. I’m almost there.”
Logically, she had trouble believing him, since surely laughing at her silliness would have been a turn off. But when he began to thrust again and she tried to pump her hips and squeeze her inner muscles around his cock, he was clearly not as controlled as he’d been earlier. His features twisted slightly and his breathing became louder. His thrusts got faster, then a little jerky.
She was definitely going to be sore afterwards, but there was something oddly pleasing, oddly compelling, about having a hot, hard, focused man about to lose it between her legs.
As silly as it sounded, she couldn’t help but feel a little proud of herself.
Ander jerked his head to the side and froze abruptly, the tension transforming on his face. He took a few ragged breaths and pushed against her a few final times.
He pulled out before she could fully process the alterations of his body—the softening muscles and relaxing tension. He carefully secured the condom as he slid his cock free, and the move made an embarrassing sucking sound and rubbed her raw inner walls painfully.
“Are you all right?” he asked, rolling over to swing his legs over the side of the bed. His eyes scanned her closely.
“Yeah,” she said honestly, “A little sore, but it was really good. Thank you.”
He gave her a little smile. “I’m going to take care of this, if that’s all right.”
At her affirmation, he picked up the vibrator and went into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. She heard water in the sink and figured he was cleaning up the vibrator while he was there.
Lori pulled down her chemise and stretched her stiff legs. Then she had a private giggle over her successful devirgining.
She knew it would have been better had she had an emotional connection with the man. She knew there was something missing in doing it the way she had. The sex had been good, but she knew it wasn’t a lie that sex was better with someone you loved. She wrote romance novels. As silly or high-blown as some of them were, romance writers at least understood the importance of love.
She’d done this on her own terms, though and the heavy weight of anxiety that had always been part of her thoughts on sex had now completely dissipated.
Ander returned to the room with a wet washcloth, which he used to gently clean between her legs. When she?
??d thanked him and he’d returned the washcloth to the bathroom, she invited him back to bed.
She had him until midnight, and she intended to take advantage of it. He stretched out beside her, rolling on his side and propping his head up on one bent arm. He was completely naked, and he was showing the long lines and rippling muscles of his body to their best advantage.
Lori stared at him in admiration for a minute until she realized he was posing for her. As always, the act was very subtle, sophisticated—nothing crude or gaudy about it. But he knew what he was doing. Women must leer at him all the time.
Because she wanted to talk to him and not get distracted, she leaned over and grabbed his boxers off the floor and tossed them over to him.
“Did you have questions for me?” he asked, pulling on his boxers. “Did you think it went well?”
“Yes. It went very well. Thanks so much being careful and taking your time. I can’t imagine it going better.”
Ander’s eyes narrowed as he studied her face. “There’s something you want to ask me.”
There was. A foolish, nagging question at the very back of her mind.
“Ask me.”
So Lori blurted it out, “Do you think I’ll be any good at it? I mean, I seemed to mess up a lot. And there was the stupid thing with the hand. If I don’t have you there guiding me through every step, do you think I’ll be any good at it?”
To her relief, Ander didn’t brush the question off. He paused as he considered it, and then he met her eyes soberly. “I don’t think any of that reflects your sexual capacities. You were nervous at first. And, even when you got over that, you were still a little self-conscious, I think.” He slanted her a look, as if checking her expression. Maybe to make sure she wasn’t offended. “When people are self-conscious, they tend to fall into a defined role, something that will make them feel safe. You took on the role of learner, which might be why you kept wanting directions. But once you’re past that, you’re going to be just fine.”
She let out a breath, oddly comforted by his matter-of-fact answer. He hadn’t been flattering her or trying to delude her into believing she was some sort of sex goddess. He’d told her his honest opinions.