Tortured by the pain of our existence. He talked like a vampire too.
‘Who created your language?’ I asked.
‘I did.’
‘You made a language? In three years?’
‘Why not?’ he said, and lifted his chin. ‘If they couldn’t understand us, then they couldn’t thwart our plans. Once we were the unwanted we made our own language and reclaimed our existence.’
‘So you were made into . . .’ Tony chose his words carefully, ‘hybrids?’
‘From what I have gathered, our intended purpose was to kill during the day as well as at night. But the Hollow Ones’ plan went awry because we kept our sanity and reason. Our humanity, if you like.’
‘Where’s your family?’ Tony asked. It felt respectful, as if he wanted to understand Cassius.
‘My family is dead. As a vampire, without my sanity, I had no conscience; it didn’t matter what I had done or who died. I was angry and numb.’
My little sister Genevieve popped into my head, running down the orchard lane squealing with laughter.
‘Many of us miss our families,’ Cassius said gently.
I swiped my hand across the air.
‘No more,’ I said, and threw myself down the aisle, out the chapel door and outside. My stomach clenched and I took great puffs of air to prevent the tears from coming. I ran past the bodies of two dead Demelucrea in the dark field. At dawn’s first light, they would be ash. Nothing but dirt for the lacrosse players to kick up during their next game. We are not invincible.
‘Lenah! Stop!’ Tony’s voice called after me. ‘Please!’
I fell to my knees at the Wickham farm fence. I waited for Tony’s footsteps and he knelt by my side.
‘So there it is,’ I said, staring at the ground. ‘Suleen was right.’
Cassius knelt down on the other side of me.
‘It’s because of the blood they took from you that we kept our minds,’ he said gently. ‘We consider it a gift.’
‘Only when I was remade a vampire a second time did I retain my mind,’ I sobbed. ‘No one knows why that happened. Before that, I was evil. The blood that courses through you is cursed.’
‘A curse to be in the daylight? A curse to walk among humans? When Suleen said it would be possible for you to come back, we banded together, Renoiera. It’s because of you we have hope.’
‘Hope for what?’
‘That we can defeat Justin. That . . .’
His gaze fell to the ground.
It was not as heroic as they made it sound. But I understood why they revered me and had made me into a legend. I had broken the bonds of immortality.
‘You want me to help you be human again,’ I said.
Cassius sighed. ‘It is our deepest hope. But we need your expertise. We want freedom from Justin. He is a tyrant. Now that his plan to bring you back to the modern world as his queen has failed, we can only guess what he plans to do next.’
We thought a lot alike, Cassius and I. Even though our task was not the same; the Demelucrea wanted to destroy Justin. I wanted to find out what Justin wanted and get Rhode the hell out of there as soon as possible. I knew what Suleen had asked of me, but it wasn’t that simple to just kill Justin.
‘Tony . . .’ I sought comfort from my friend.
‘It’s OK. Really. We’ll figure this out, and we’ll get Rhode back,’ he said. He squeezed my hand. ‘We will.’
‘I cannot promise the ritual will work for you,’ I said looking at Cassius.
‘Why, Renoiera, we have tried the ritual with Suleen. It does not work. To perform a ritual you must be a complete vampire, and we are not. Nothing happened. No horrific consequences, no grand gestures. It was even worse, I think. We remained exactly the same.’
‘So how do you plan to become human again?’
‘You,’ Cassius said simply. ‘We have faith that you will find a way.’
When I glanced behind me, Tracy stood before the ten or so Demelucrea.
‘But first we need you to help us kill Justin, said Liliana, who had come over to us. ‘He is spiralling out of control.’
‘I will help you but I can’t take responsibility for anyone,’ I said, standing up. ‘I’m not anyone’s queen.’
‘In exchange, we can help you to find your soulmate,’ Cassius said. That word lingered in the air and I hated that he had intentionally found my weak spot.
‘Where do you think he is?’ I asked.
‘Justin’s house is not far from here. It is the first place we should investigate. Henri and I will go at dawn, Renoiera. We can make a plan.’
He motioned to the healer that had wrapped Tracy’s wrist.
Renoiera. Silly word. The moonlight caught my symbol on the neck of one of the other Dems, whom I had heard called Micah.
‘I’ll accept your help,’ I said, ‘but I want to confront Justin by myself.’
‘Impossible. It’s too dangerous. Justin can manipulate the elements,’ Henri explained. ‘And you don’t yet have the skills to kill him.’
I deliberately ignored the word ‘kill’.
‘I’ve seen what the Hollow Ones can do,’ I said with a rub of my sore shoulder. My chest pulsed with my heart and each beat burned. The ghost of Fire’s pendant reminded me how much I wanted to be with Rhode.
‘Rhode has to get out of there before he’s . . .’ I hesitated. ‘Before he’s hurt.’
‘Or killed,’ Liliana interjected.
I flinched. ‘Who knows what Justin is doing to him?’ I clarified, speaking directly to her. ‘But I won’t be quite so pessimistic just yet. I can’t.’
She wore my symbol not around her neck but on a ring. ‘My twin sister,’ she said, ‘was killed while on watch.’
‘The blonde girl in the sand dunes,’ I said.
She nodded once. ‘I told her not to go alone. We got there as you ran down the beach.’
‘Cianno,’ Cassius snapped at Liliana. It sounded an awful lot like, ‘Shut up.’
‘If I’m right and Rhode is now at Justin’s house, we’d like to execute an attack in two days’ time,’ Cassius explained.
‘Why not sooner?’ I asked.
‘There is a solar eclipse in two days. We think that is our best bet,’ Henri said.
‘Your best bet?’ I scoffed, not meaning to be rude but that was close to being the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. ‘An eclipse. So basically, you want to commit suicide.’
‘What’s the deal with an eclipse?’ Tony asked.
‘It’s the best course,’ Cassius explained. ‘Justin will not risk leaving his house, nor will he expect an attack on such a day. It is very dangerous for us to be out at all that day.’
‘What’s the deal with an eclipse?’ Tony pressed.
‘Two days is too long to wait,’ I said. ‘Who knows what could happen to him by then.’
‘The eclipse is the best option for trapping Justin inside,’ Cassius insisted.
‘Will someone freakin’ tell me why!’ Tony yelled.
Cassius explained the specifics to Tony but I was back in Hathersage, England, in 1739.
I am on the top floor of my Hathersage home. Rhode and I lean against the window frame and watch as the moon passes in front of the sun. Shadows dance over the lavender fields in a way I have never seen before. A diamond ring encircles the eclipsed sun. Flashes of light flicker and spark around the moon.
‘Let’s go!’ I cry, and run for the door. ‘Let’s run underneath that strange sun!’
Rhode tugs at my hand and pulls me back into the bedroom.
‘You understand, don’t you?’ he says. His long black hair falls down his back. It would have felt like silk if my sense of touch had not waned away to nothing.
‘Understand what?’ I ask.
‘The moment the moon moves from the sun, the light will be too powerful. It will turn you to dust.’ He pets my hair and his fingers trail warmth across my scalp.
‘But I can be in the sun,’ I s
ay.
‘Not that sun. No one can withstand eclipsed light. Once the moon passes beyond the sun, the rest of the day’s rays are deadly.’
‘Good to know. You just saved my life,’ I say playfully.
‘I’ll always save you,’ he says.
‘And I you.’ We kiss at the window during that daylight darkness. When he pulls away from our kiss, he tugs at the shade and shuts the bedroom door.
‘. . . Only at nightfall is the vampire safe to emerge again,’ Cassius finished.
‘That’s uplifting,’ Tony said. ‘Step out into the sunlight after an eclipse and . . . poof.’
‘Poof?’ Tracy said.
Henri laughed but covered it up by clearing his throat.
‘We should go back to the chapel,’ Liliana said. ‘It’s not safe for the humans out here.’
The humans?
‘I do not think Justin will kill Rhode,’ Cassius said. ‘If he does, he knows you will never comply with his wishes.’
I got to my feet; I was not going back into the chapel. I was done and my head hurt. I rubbed at my sore wrist. They spoke so casually about Rhode’s death, like it wouldn’t have destroyed me completely if it came to pass.
‘For months we’ve been assessing his home and grounds. But now that he has Rhode, we need to watch him again at first light. His movements may be different; perhaps he’ll reveal a weakness of some kind. We already know his vampires can’t be out in the day as we can.’
‘Can he?’
‘Yes, he is very strong. But as you know he can’t survive eclipsed light, none of us can. Also, Justin won’t act alone. He relies on his coven in almost every move he makes.’
The sky was lightening to a shadowy kind of purple. It would be dawn in two hours.
‘We’ll need to get in and out of the house well before the eclipse completes,’ Cassius said.
I stopped walking at the path that led back to the dorms.
‘And you’re sure about Justin? Like you said, he’s powerful.’
‘Not even the Hollow Ones would be able to withstand an eclipse, Renoiera.’
Even if we do make it out in time, the Dems are cutting it very, very close.
‘Can’t we just get Rhode on a day that Justin leaves the house? You know, when Rhode might be there with fewer people guarding him?’ Tony asked.
‘Killing Justin is the only way to stop him. And if we want to succeed, we must do it on this day; we have no choice but to cut it very, very close.’
‘Very, very close,’ I said. He used my exact phrasing. He responded to me as though we were in conversation, though I hadn’t said anything aloud.
‘You can read my thoughts,’ I said, collecting myself from the shock. This meant that the Demelucrea had experienced or could read the memory I’d had of Rhode a few moments before.
‘In full disclosure, your thoughts are very clear to us and it would be wise to tailor those thoughts for your own privacy,’ Cassius admitted.
‘All the time?’ I asked.
‘It appears to be that way,’ Cassius said with a quick glance to the vampire healer in the corner of the chapel. ‘We heard you over the last few days in our thoughts. In and out, it wasn’t constant.’
‘Closer to you, it’s clearer,’ Liliana added.
‘And ours?’ Tracy said with a lift of her chin.
‘Your emotions are clear,’ Cassius said, ‘but your thoughts are your own . . .’
‘Tracy,’ she completed for him.
‘Miss Tracy,’ he finished.
The devotion of the Demelucrea to me was so powerful that I wanted to turn away. I was embarrassed to have a clan of vampires fighting for me when I had done nothing to deserve it.
Tony and Tracy stood by the Dems. Their loyalty was clear, even in the moonlight. I just didn’t want to fail them. I couldn’t kill Justin as easily as Cassius or Liliana would be able to do. The issue was not weapons but my intentions. I didn’t want him to die. I wanted to bring him back.
‘We’re in this with you, Renoiera, whether you like it or not,’ Liliana said.
Cassius smiled but it was a knowing smile, as if everything was going to plan.
As I saw no other way to do this without them I said, ‘Fine. Meet me at the library. Study atrium in the back corridor, tomorrow night, 8 p.m. Tell me what you find at Justin’s –’ I tripped over my words – ‘Justin’s new house.’
To me, Justin’s house was where his mother lived in Rhode Island: with cookies baking and a crackling fire in autumn. I was sure that where Justin lived now matched his new personality: overbearing and cold.
We headed for main campus knowing the Demelucrea would trail behind as our guard. We wouldn’t be alone again, not really. I glanced back at the vampires.
‘Oh, and while you’re here, could you avoid narrowly missing my head with arrows? I’d like an explanation for that at some point.’
Liliana dipped her chin with an embarrassed smile. ‘I believed you to be attacked, Renoiera. Only after did I realize the young man following you was Rhode.’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘And she’s an archer with supernatural sight?’ I said to Cassius.
He crossed his arms and hid his laugh by looking at the ground.
‘And tomorrow night . . .’ I addressed Cassius again.
‘Yes?’ he said, and cleared his throat.
I turned his line from the dance club back on him. ‘Come alone.’
CHAPTER 13
That next night, the clock in the study atrium ticked slower than perhaps any clock in the history of time.
7.20 p.m. . . . 7.45 . . . 7.47 . . .
As I waited, I sat with my fingers inches from Rhode’s journal. It sat beside my virtually unused biology notebook and my mocha latte.
My fingers hovered over the little book.
Last time Rhode and I had been at Wickham, our minds were connected through the power of our souls. One soul could not live without the other, Suleen had once told me. Anam Cara.
Connecting to Rhode’s mind was one thing. But this journal was not his mind. It would be an intrusion. I would just sit here and continue to wait for Cassius.
. . . 7.57 p.m.
What did Rhode want to confess in the confines of these pages? What secrets? Did he watch the constellations? Did he dream of me?
I pushed the soft leather journal further away from me with my fingertips. I couldn’t bear it. In my own notebook I wrote down words and ideas that had been swimming through my mind.
Demelucrea.
Renoiera. I said the word aloud and even rolled the r a little like the Dems had done. I blushed. Who was I kidding? I was no queen any more.
I continued to scribble hard against the lined paper.
How did the Hollow Ones obtain my blood to make the Demelucrea? If time had changed, how was this even possible? This was a mystery I would uncover if it killed me. It probably will, I thought, and sipped my drink.
Members of the astronomy club jogged by the window behind me, heading up to the archery plateau. Everyone was positively raucous because of the eclipse the next day.
Tell me, Fire – any clues about onyx? How is it you never told me this? How is it an entire race of vampires exists because of me? How could you leave me –
I scribbled in the notebook, my other hand resting on Rhode’s journal.
Oh, I didn’t want to talk to Fire. I wanted to talk to Rhode.
‘Ugh,’ I groaned, and got up from the table. Damn Tony! How could he bring me something so precious? He knew I wouldn’t be able to resist it!
I sat down. One page. Just one page of the journal and that would be it. I tugged at the leather flaps and flipped open the front cover. On the title page in his precise, slim handwriting were the words:
Ask yourself my love whether you are not very cruel to have so entrammelled me, so destroyed my freedom. — John Keats
I turned the page; it trembled beneath my shaking fingers. I read.
Dear ?
??
I don’t even know your name, dear. But I shall call you that. Dear. But what is your name? I cannot write it here on this paper. For it escapes me. Every day it sits on the tip of my tongue. I can taste it for the barest of moments and then it is gone.
I burn for you.
There is a halo of condensation here on this window that looks out on to a campus barely clinging to summer. Fall will be upon us soon. Yesterday I dreamed of you again. Your hair was pinned up above your ears and you wore a long, red gown. A magnificent medieval gown not found in the modern world. It clung to your body and you stood on a great hill that stretched out far into the dis—
Two raps on the window broke me out of Rhode’s gorgeous words. ‘Damn it!’ I cried, and thrust away the journal so it slid across the table and teetered on the other side.
Cassius leaned against the glass outside. I ran my hand through my hair and exhaled. I pretended to be calm and collected when he lifted the window and climbed in with a roll of papers tucked under his arm.
‘There’s no sign of Rhode, but there’s been much activity at the house.’
‘But you think he’s there?’
‘I couldn’t read Rhode’s energy, which leads me to believe he’s in the basement. There’s a suite of rooms down there.’
‘How do you know?’
‘I visited the house a few times once Justin broke confidence with the Hollow Ones. I couldn’t sense Rhode directly, but I could sense jealousy and regret from Justin. He experiences both of these emotions in direct relation to Rhode, so that’s promising.’
I found myself nodding. ‘All right. And you still feel certain that the only way to rescue Rhode is during the eclipse?’
‘The total eclipse is expected to last seven minutes,’ Cassius said. ‘Our attack will surprise him, I can promise you this. He will be hiding out and much prepared for a solar eclipse. As you know, it is not something vampires take lightly.’
‘Seven minutes to go in and get Rhode out? It’s not possible.’
‘We must be out with at least a few minutes to spare. We need to reach a building, or somewhere with a roof, where we can avoid direct post-eclipse sunlight. The cover of trees won’t do.’