‘The first time that the vampire at the farm spoke to me yesterday, he told me to arm myself. And now, after Justin pulls this prank, that same vampire is watching me from the woods. It’s too coincidental.’
‘What I’d like to know is where he was last night when we were attacked on Main Street,’ Tony said.
‘You know, this seems oddly familiar,’ Tracy commented quietly.
‘Maybe it was him who shot the arrow at Justin?’ I offered.
‘Really familiar,’ Tracy added.
Whitecaps curled again and again out on the water.
‘Either way,’ I said, ‘the only way we’ll really be able to tell is to draw the vampire to me. Find out who he is.’ I had a feeling he was connected to Suleen, but I had no evidence for this.
‘You’re nuts,’ Tracy said. ‘Draw someone to you who is shooting arrows at your head?’ She dabbed at her eyes with a shredded tissue.
‘We don’t know who shot either of those arrows,’ I pointed out.
‘I think you need to find out what Justin wants,’ Tracy said.
‘We’re no match for him. He’s far too strong. Maybe this vampire can help,’ I said.
I needed a public place. A place the vampire could get lost in the crowd. I couldn’t guarantee he would come but I had to take the chance.
‘What’s the popular club in town?’ I asked. ‘A place we could get in.’
‘We’re on the Cape,’ Tony said. ‘It’s slim pickings.’
‘Bolt in Orleans, I guess. It’s right outside Lovers Bay. It’s the biggest one. They have an all-ages night on a Friday,’ Tracy offered.
‘Perfect. Tomorrow. We’re going. Invite Rhode,’ I said to Tony. ‘I’ll bring it up with him tomorrow too. He’s teaching me about archery.’
‘Like a date?’ Tracy asked.
I had no time for modern dating explanations. ‘I guess so,’ I said, but tried to be dismissive about it so we could stay focused. Even though Rhode couldn’t remember his old self, perhaps being in the presence of vampires, at the club, would make him recall something.
‘Come on, Trace,’ Tony said, and hugged her shoulder. ‘Let’s go to the union. I’ll buy you a supreme nachos with extra sour cream.’
‘Why the extra sour cream?’ she asked.
‘It eases the whole “change in your entire universe” hangover.’
‘That sounds good,’ she said with another sniff.
We piled up bedding in our arms and walked back to our cleaned and frog-free room.
That night I dreamt of Justin:
He walks to me through the waist-high water of Wickham bay. He is drenched when he steps on to the sand. He is himself as I first saw him, a young man with a beautiful future. The water drips down his abdomen to the waistline of his board shorts. Where I would usually expect a drove of students, we are very much alone. Even in this dream world I can’t help but feel enamoured by his spirit. He has such confidence and love for life.
‘Gorgeous day,’ Justin says and stands next to me. He smiles at the sun and I want to embrace him. ‘You have little time as always,’ he says, and the water drips down the side of his jaw. Once again I fight the urge to touch him.
‘Why are you a vampire still? Why weren’t you set free?’ I sigh. I have so many questions, but this one is the most pressing to me.
‘You have to use your heart to see,’ Justin explains. He finally turns and fixes his eyes on me. They are as gentle as I remember. ‘Your heart, Lenah.’
He backs away down the beach.
‘Use my heart? How?’
He walks up the steps from the beach and on to the Wickham campus. The sunset is blinding and I have to shield my face. I want to follow.
‘Justin!’ I call his name again. ‘Justin!’
I shot up in bed.
‘Justin!’ I cried.
I brought my knees to my chest and my heart beat against my legs. I wanted to scream his name again but my throat was raw.
‘You called his name three times,’ Tracy said, sitting up. The moonlight shone on to the floor between our beds, making the room glow in a pearl haze. Tracy leaned her back against the wall and tucked her arms around her knees too.
‘Did you love him?’ she asked in a small voice. ‘I mean, before.’ We had finally come to it, the truth.
‘Yes, I did.’
‘You’re not telling me everything. I know. I can feel it. If you want me on your side, you need to tell me the truth.’
It was easier to confess this in the dark. Tracy didn’t say anything at first. If I didn’t look at her directly, it was easier to admit how horrible I had been.
‘We . . .’ I sighed. ‘You were his girlfriend. I came to Wickham and I was very selfish. I hadn’t ever had any friends that were girls before so I didn’t think very much about your feelings. I’m sorry for that.’
‘Yeah, well,’ she said after a few moments. ‘I’m sure I was just lovely to you,’ she scoffed. ‘Even before you guys got together.’
My eyes lifted to hers; I couldn’t help it. I tried to pretend I hadn’t been shocked by what she said, but it was too late.
‘Oh, don’t act so surprised. I wasn’t very nice to people other than Claudia and Kate until this year. I don’t know – I got tired of being a bitch. It’s exhausting.’
I didn’t know what to say to this so I didn’t say anything at all. Because once upon a time, I had been a horrible person too.
‘It wasn’t true love – for me, anyway,’ I said. ‘There are lots of different kinds of love. I’ve learned that. Nothing will ever come close to what I have with Rhode.’
‘You’ve really . . .’ she stopped. ‘You’ve really been alive almost six hundred years?’
‘About. But I age normally now. I’m just human.’
‘What’s the best thing you’ve ever seen?’
With the exception of the hundred years I spent in hibernation, it had been a long life of blood. I couldn’t admit that walking on to campus and seeing a healthy and human Rhode was positively incredible. Seeing Tony alive was a close second. Instead I chose, ‘Carnevale in Venice. 1605. The Doge wore blue velvet. People wore masks encrusted with diamonds and rubies. I had never seen dresses so fine. The theatre and comedies made hundreds of people laugh. There were tiers of food and sweet wine. Dancing all night. Courtiers kissing in corners, and raising toasts with their glasses . . .’ The memory swept me away. ‘Rhode and I almost fit in!’ My smile faded. ‘Until we killed the Doge.’
Tracy inhaled sharply and I had to remember that she wasn’t used to associating with murderers. After a moment she said quietly, ‘I’ve never been in love. I want to be though. I wasn’t in love with Justin, only the idea of him. He could command a room – you know how people say that?’
I found myself wanting to keep talking to Tracy. I didn’t ever remember telling another girl about my problems. When we’d first met, before, Tracy had hated me on sight. I couldn’t blame her; I was completely enamoured of her boyfriend.
But now here we were, battling this together.
‘So, what were you dreaming about?’ Tracy said.
I lay down on my side. ‘I saw Justin on Wickham beach and he told me to use my heart.’
‘Use your heart?’
‘Exactly.’
Tracy scooted under her covers, both of us trying to decipher what this could mean.
Heart. Heartbeat? I had to love? It doesn’t make any sense!
The question that had bothered me in the laundry room bit at me again: why wasn’t he hurting those around me? His behaviour was so hard to read. Of course, attacking the people closest to me had been Odette’s tactic. Hell, it had been my tactic. No one had been taken from campus since the girl at the start of the year. Jackie something? I didn’t know her. It had to be Justin. Yet, he was too unpredictable, and I couldn’t gauge his plans.
The clock read 4.19 a.m. I needed coffee, so I threw the covers off.
‘Are we getting up
? Because there’s no way I can sleep now,’ Tracy said.
‘Yeah, we’re getting up.’
‘Want to sneak into the union and get first dibs on the bagels?’ she suggested.
‘You read my mind,’ I said, and snatched up my sweatshirt. Tracy grabbed her slippers. We snuck out, and as I closed the door I glanced at my bed, hardly mussed from the night.
CHAPTER 8
We couldn’t work out a reason or a solution for Justin’s cryptic message in my dream. So Tracy moved on to what I was going to wear for my archery date with Rhode that afternoon. After breakfast she spent fifteen minutes picking out an outfit for me to wear and we eventually settled on jeans with a blue tank top of Tracy’s.
‘All you wear is black,’ Tracy said. ‘You need some colour on this date. And tonight at the club? You’re not allowed to wear black there either.’
‘Oh yes, so I can be an easier target in a bright colour.’
‘You’re a target no matter what you wear,’ she said, and ushered me out the door. She had a point.
I waited at the bottom of the archery hill, remembering the day Fire and the other three members of the Aeris had waited at the top and told Rhode and me that we couldn’t be together. It was our punishment for manipulating the elements.
OK, Fire is not up there, Rhode is. He happens to have no memory and can’t judge you for losing your mind in 1740. This is a plus. Yes, a benefit! This date isn’t going to be hard. What am I waiting down here for?
I could do this, for sure. I clenched and unclenched my hands as I climbed the hill. I could spend time with Rhode and pretend we didn’t have five hundred years of shared history. I took a deep breath and crested the hill.
Rhode stood bathed in late-afternoon light. My breath caught in my throat.
He was readying the arrows for our lesson and had lifted his chin to the sky, enjoying the warmth of the sun. He stretched his arms up, keeping his eyes closed.
I did not know of heaven or of consciousness after death. Every time I had succumbed to the end of my life, Rhode had saved me. Whether because of his love, or the power of the supernatural world, I had never actually died. But if I ever did, I hoped it would look like this, with Rhode waiting for me.
I should say hello, maybe not stand here and stare like some kind of stalker.
I took a step and made sure to clear my throat so as not to surprise Rhode. He turned towards me and broke into a smile.
‘Any more frogs?’ he asked.
‘Nope. No more frogs.’
‘I asked the archery team if anyone heard anything. No one’s fessed up, but we’ll get to the bottom of it.’
‘After your threatening speech at morning assembly . . . what was it you said? Oh yes, there will be ramifications not only for animal cruelty but also for sheer nerve. Well said. I like the sheer-nerve part.’
‘You’re mocking me.’
‘Never.’
He lifted an arrow from the pile he had collected. Its feather was dark purple, one of the school colours. It was an arrow made for target practice, with a blunted end, for safety.
‘So, you’re ready?’ he asked.
‘More than ever.’
Rhode’s lesson was quite good. Even though I had close to as much knowledge as he did, I pretended to listen and to have no clue about the parts of the bow and arrow. I didn’t like the pretence, but I wanted to be in close proximity to Rhode. Perhaps if we re-enacted a moment from our history together, he might remember a shred of his past. Also, I just wanted to be near him.
‘See?’ He demonstrated and the arrow made a pinging sound and flew into the air. With a thump it hit the target. Bullseye.
‘Your turn, rookie,’ he said. He stepped behind me and I leaned into him. The warmth of his chest flowed up and down my whole body, matching the length of him. His warmth didn’t just settle around me – it comforted my soul. This human love was magnanimous; it made my fingers tingle. Rhode pulled my hand back and whispered in my ear, ‘Is it all right I’m so close?’
‘Yes,’ I barely whispered.
Together we let the arrow go. I wanted to impress him and the arrow hit the bullseye.
Exactly.
‘Wow, lucky shot,’ I said, shrugging.
Rhode stepped back.
‘Yes. Very. Lucky shot.’ He cocked his head. ‘Lenah . . .’
‘What?’ I kept looking at the bullseye, at the bow, anywhere but at those blue eyes.
‘Why do I feel like you know how to do this already?’
I shook my head. ‘No idea.’
He pointed at the target . . . waiting.
Damn. I could not lie to Rhode.
‘This should be interesting,’ he said, but there was an edge to the playfulness of his tone.
I lifted the bow, drew back the string and let it go. It hit the target, just next to the arrow we had set loose together.
‘OK, now I feel stupid,’ he said. ‘You’re amazing.’
‘No, don’t feel stupid.’
‘You’re an incredible archer.’
‘Beginner’s luck,’ I said with a pathetic attempt at a chuckle.
‘Lenah . . .’
He bent down to pick up an arrow but hesitated. He pointed at my left shoulder.
‘Hold on . . .’ he said, standing up slowly. He continued to point at my back. Oh boy. Stupid Tracy and this stupid top, which had shifted during the lesson. ‘Turn around,’ he said calmly.
I showed him my back. A chill ran over me as he moved my hair out of the way. He ran his fingertips over the tattooed words.
‘Evil be he who thinketh evil,’ I said breathlessly, reciting the tattoo on my back. His touch was so gentle and his fingers soft.
‘Why do you have this?’ he whispered. ‘That exact expression.’
‘A family motto.’
I hated this. Hated lying. Hated that he had been the one who inked it on to my skin and proceeded to kiss me for hours afterwards. We both believed it to be our motto, once upon a time. If I believed I was evil, it would inform my intentions. I could be as horrible as I wanted, if that’s who I truly was. Many, many times as I bit into the neck of the living I told myself, ‘It’s in my nature.’
I didn’t know there was so much more to me than pain. I didn’t know until I became human again.
Rhode’s fingers dropped away and he frowned at me.
‘What? You don’t like tattoos?’ I offered, trying to make a joke. Rhode clearly did not want to play around.
‘What is it with you?’ he asked. ‘Why did you come here?’
‘For school.’
‘Why did you lie about knowing how to shoot?’
‘If you knew I was lying, then why did you agree to teach me?’ We stared at one another and I wanted nothing more than to tell him the whole truth. I was on the edge of it too. I didn’t know how to start. I had made up this whole charade and Fire had made it so clear.
‘What? Say it!’ Rhode said.
I exhaled sharply. ‘I don’t know how.’
‘Forget it. It’s almost time for lunch,’ he said, breaking our gaze and slinging the quiver of arrows over his shoulder. I didn’t want to push my deceit any further, so as he walked away I mentioned our evening plans. Maybe I could find a way to tell him tonight. Once he saw a vampire or something? Perhaps it would be easier that way.
‘We’re going out tonight,’ I said. ‘To Bolt in Orleans.’
He hesitated and his anger seems to dissipate a bit when he said, ‘Tony told me. Clubs aren’t exactly my . . .’
‘Thing?’ I offered.
‘Right,’ he agreed. ‘You coming back to campus?’ he asked. I took the invitation even though he was just being polite.
We walked down the hill together and I was grateful for the change of subject.
‘Oh, come on, British. You can’t do it? Just once? Nine thirty,’ I teased.
‘Want to know the truth?’ he asked. My light jokes were clearly still not appreciated. He s
lung the arrow pack so it sat tighter on his shoulder.
‘I don’t trust you. Frogs in your room, lying about archery, arrows shot within inches of your head. And your tattoo with that exact saying.’
‘Do you remember . . . I mean, do you know the phrase?’ I asked.
‘I can’t figure you out. You show up here just when something isn’t quite right. And you . . .’ He trailed off.
‘What?’ I asked gently.
‘You look at me.’
‘How do I look at you?’
He said nothing, but seemed to consider what he wanted to say. He didn’t give me time to explain. Rhode strode away quickly, leaving me at the base of the archery hill, alone.
At nine thirty I walked up the path from Turner to wait for Tracy in the parking lot. When I came around the bend, a familiar wrought-iron bench was in front of the entrance to Seeker dorm. I ran my finger over the curl of the design. Vicken had sat here many times. I had yet to say goodbye to him the vampire way, with a ritual. But I hadn’t had a chance. Vicken’s life was now done. The one bright spot in this mess of darkness was that his soul was white and his story completed.
Tracy pulled up in front of the building in a silver SUV. She honked twice just as Tony stepped up the path and stopped next to me. He threw an arm over my shoulder.
‘Lenah, Lenah, Lenah. Are you sure you’re ready for these dance moves?’
‘I’ve seen them before. Trust me, they leave much to be desired.’
‘Much to be desired?’ he said in a mock British accent.
We piled into the car with Claudia, Kate and Tracy.
‘Lenah!’ Claudia said from the back seat. ‘You look amazing!’
‘Thanks,’ I said.
My red tank top revealed a bit more cleavage than I would have liked. Tracy had assured me when I was trying it on that it covered the dagger hilt that stuck up just a little from my belt. ‘That’s all that matters, right?’ she said.
‘No, really, red is better on you,’ Claudia continued. ‘I’ve only seen you in black.’
I had not forgotten the soft wisps of Claudia’s hair as it fanned out on the floor of the art tower. She had died painfully but fast in Odette’s clutches. I had not forgotten her will to fight. I would never forget.