I dreamed about falling again. This time, I wasn't alone. Another speck on the horizon, too far away to recognize. I'd never fallen with anyone else before.
I woke to the sound of a rat gnawing the cuff of my pants. I sat up, knocking my head on a beam that ran from the roof to the floor. As I rubbed my forehead, last night rushed back. I had used sapience to pull the book from the fire.
I was a sapient.
Proof that the letter was right about me. Soon, my nightmares would become reality. And who would be waiting for me on the other side of the falling? My friends? My father?
Just me, the monster answered. I'm all you've got now.
Dawn grew in the gable windows. I found the book—wrapped in a scrap of linen—just how I left it last night before I passed out. I unfolded the wrappings, my hand searing with pain from the burns. Hadn't I read enough? Did I really want to inflict more pain on myself? The wrapping fell to the floor.
The book wasn't burned.
Hairs on the back of my neck rose. I flipped through the pages, each one perfect, like last night never happened. Even the letter I ripped out was back in its place.
Could I have dreamed it? Had I not used sapience?
Flipping to the page where the new letter had appeared, I found only blank paper. My shoulders relaxed. It was a dream. I wasn't a sapient. I wasn't a monster.
But then I saw my shirt on the floor: charred and damp. A puddle of water. An overturned barrel. I reached out to steady myself and felt the pain in my hand again.
I counted the pages, starting with Terillium's first letter. A few pages were stuck together. Pulling them apart, I found writing. The new letter. I clapped the book shut. My father's words ran through my mind.
Execute the boy immediately.
Taking a breath, I opened the book.
Urgent. Lectito statim.
Xry Mazol, I received the results of the test regarding Evan Burl. The news is even worse than I imagined possible. I fear for all of us.
Execute the boy immediately.
I stopped, read it again. My face went numb.
Do not delay or you, and many others, will surely die.
Fortunatos little brother,
Terillium
Collatio Tomi: Do not go to Cevo for help. I fear he would try to turn the boy for good, which is of course, impossible, and dangerous to anyone who tries. Evan Burl will become a monster—I am certain of that now. There is nothing you or Cevo or anyone else can do to stop it except to kill him while you still have the chance.
The book fell from my hands.
All this time I'd been fighting it. But I was a sapient. My father was right about me all along. What reason was there left to resist?
You can't resist your own fate, the nightmare inside me said.
But I'll hurt my friends. I'll have to run away to protect them from myself.
Then run away.
There's still time, isn't there? A year to be with the Roslings? A year to be with Henri? And what if I resisted using sapience? Stop sleeping. End the nightmares. Fight the monster for control of my mind. Maybe I could slow the countdown.
My eyes drifted to the bottom of the page.
3 days, 17 hours, 13 minutes until the falling.
I read it again. It was supposed to say 355 days. Not 3.
Now I had only three days.
I knew you'd throw it in the fire, if I pretended to be scared, the monster said. And now look what you've done. You accelerated the falling by using sapience. My time is coming soon.