I’m honestly not sure.
“How long are you going to be gone on this trip?” I ask, finally breaking the silence.
“Uh,” she says, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “About two weeks again. This is a big client in Chicago.”
I nod, chewing on my lower lip. “Does Dick have any help with Skyler while you’re gone?”
“He seems to be doing okay lately,” Mom says, not quite meeting my eyes. She reaches for her glass. Her hand shakes as she brings it to her lips. “And he has you to help him out.”
The temperature of my blood starts to rise. My hands curl into fists. “And you don’t feel any guilt walking away from your son for fourteen days at a time?”
“Kaylee,” Mom says, narrowing her eyes at me and her brows furrowing. “I have to work. I have to earn money to help support your brother.”
“But you have to work a job that takes you away from him for weeks at a time? Why can’t you find something that you can be around?” My voice is slowly rising and my insides grow harder.
“I’m finally making good money,” she says, her voice hard. “I have a real career now. Surely you can understand that.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I can’t. You’ve all but abandoned Skyler. And that would be fine if you just cut and dry walked away from him, but he never knows when you’ll waltz back into his life and pretend like you care. He’s always hoping that maybe you’ll be around for a little longer this time. He hopes maybe you’ll come to his t-ball game, or his soccer matches. What do you think it’s doing to him?”
“I’m making it so he can have a good life,” my mother says. Her eyes lock on the table.
“I know you were too young when you had me and you never got the chance to be a real grown up and get a good job when you wanted. You had me to deal with. And you dealt,” I say. My jaw is set hard and my stomach churns. “And I know you’re proud of yourself for getting this job and finally figuring stuff out. But you’re still a mother. You still have a seven year old little boy who needs a mom to tell him bedtime stories and sing him silly songs about brushing his teeth and doing his homework. He doesn’t need an absent money maker. What is that ever supposed to mean to him?”
I sit back in my chair, suddenly feeling out of breath and exhausted. Tears sting the back of my eyes and my hands feel shaky.
“You know,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. “I have met someone. Someone I can’t imagine not being in my life. Someone I’m pretty damn sure I want to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I want to raise my own kids with. And if we do, I’m going to make sure I’m there for them. Every second. Because you’re supposed to love your kids that much. Skyler loves you, but I’m not so sure you love him back.”
I can’t take another second. I stand and drop a twenty dollar bill on the table. Because it’s all I have on me. And I walk swiftly toward the door. I pull my phone out and dial Drake. I’m not watching where I’m going, so when I step off the curb, I bump right into Mom’s lime green Beetle, which is parked right in front of the doors.
“Hey,” Drake answers cheerily.
“Can you meet me at the school?” I say as I right myself. My voice shakes and betrays the tears that threaten to break onto my cheeks. My limbs tremble as I make my way down the street to my own car. “Now?”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I am ten minutes away, further than he is from the school, and Drake’s car is in the middle of the parking lot when I get there. When he sees my car, he climbs out, closes his door, and leans against it.
And the second I see him, those tears I’ve been holding back spring out like a waterspout. I bite my lower lip and erupt from my car the second it is in park.
I sprint the small distance between us and my arms lock around his neck and I crush my lips to his. The tears continue to roll down my face.
“Hey,” he whispers against my lips. “What’s wrong?”
I squeeze my eyes closed harder, pushing more tears down my face. I shake my head and press my forehead to his chin, because it’s as high as I can reach.
“She’s screwing it up so bad,” I say, shaking my head still. “This isn’t what a family is supposed to be like.”
“What happened?” he says, rubbing a hand over my back. The other holds me to him tightly.
I shake my head again and my trembling eases slightly. “Nothing. That’s exactly it. Mom’s exactly the same as she’s been all along.”
Drake brings his hands up to the sides of my face and forces me to look up at him. “I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but I know you’re strong enough to get through it. Humans make stupid decisions. Nobody’s perfect.”
“You are,” I say, looking up into those hazel eyes. The storm inside me begins to calm and is replaced with that sense of comfort and ease.
“No,” he says with a breathy chuckle. “Not even close.”
“Pretty close,” I say as a smile slowly begins to form on my face. “You’re kind, and caring. You always want to make things better.”
Drake presses a soft kiss to my forehead, proving my point. His arms once again wrap around my body, promising safe harbor.
I relax into him, taking a deep breath.
“I love you,” he breathes.
And everything that has ever been wrong in my world is righted with those words.
I look up into his eyes and there I see the truth of what he’s just confessed.
“I love you too,” I say. “More than anything.”
He brings his forehead down to mine and his lips hover a millimeter from mine.
“All I want to do is give you a happily ever after,” he whispers.
“You’re already giving it to me.” I let my lips brush his as I speak. My eyes slide closed and I let myself live in this moment. This moment that is perfect and untouchable to the real world.
“Drake, I don’t ever want to let you go,” I say, feeling the back of my eyes sting again. Not out of frustration or anger or abandonment this time. Out of pure happiness. “I want to create a life with you. I want to make a family and a home and a forever with you someday.”
Drake stills for just a moment. And then he shifts, dropping down on one knee. He takes one of my hands in his and stares up at me intensely. That smile that only Drake can put on my face forms on my lips.
“Kaylee, I promise that I will do everything in my power to give you that forever,” he says as a smile starts forming on his own face. “I don’t know that I’m any kind of a prince, but I’ll do everything I can to give you a happily ever after. Will you let me give you that?”
One more tear springs onto my cheek and I nod my head furiously. “Yes.”
Drake stands and once again brings his hands to either side of my face and his lips move in sync with mine.
It wasn’t a marriage proposal. It’s too soon for that. We still have so much to learn about each other.
But sometimes you just know when you’re standing beside the one you’re meant to be with. Sometimes you know exactly when you’ve found your prince.
CHAPTER TEN
“You know that awesome black sesame chicken we had a few weeks ago?” I ask as Drake and I walk toward the doors Tuesday night.
“Yeah,” he says as he slips his hand into mine. I hope we’re safe, school got out two hours ago. There’s no lingering students around that I can see.
“I found this recipe last night that looks exactly like it. I was thinking I could make it for dinner tomorrow if you want to come over?”
“That sounds perfect,” he says, leaning over and kissing the top of my head. Sometimes I wish I was taller and those kisses could be on my cheek instead of my head, like a child.
“I’ve got to pick up Skyler now and then I’m going grocery shopping,” I say as we walk out into the bright sunshine. The ground is soggy and wet from the rain we’ve gotten the past two days, but at the moment it’s warm and bright. “You want to come?”
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“Sure,” he says. “I think it’s time I finally meet at least one member of your family.”
We climb into my car and fifteen minutes later Skyler runs out of Dick’s house and piles into the back seat.
“Hey,” he says. His voice sounds surprised. “Who are you?”
“Hey there,” Drake greets him as Skyler buckles and then just gives him a large-eyed expression. “My name’s Drake. I’m Kaylee’s boyfriend.”
“Does that mean you’re a boy who is her friend, or does that mean you two kiss?” he asks, sounding absolutely grossed out.
“Uh,” Drake says, glancing at me, not entirely sure how to handle this awkward situation. I just smile and shake my head as I head toward the store. At the same time, I hear Drake’s phone ding with a text. “Well, me and Kaylee are friends, but I also happen to really, really like kissing her.”
“Disgusting,” I hear Skyler say.
Drake and I both break into laughter.
And I have absolutely no fears that Drake with be an inadequate father. The very thought sends a thousand butterflies through my insides.
____
The morning is quiet and peaceful and I have exactly twelve and a half minutes until the warning bell is going to ring for first period. I’ve finally caught up with all the homework I have to grade and I am just finishing up next week’s lesson plans.
The door to my room opens and closes. I finish my last few notes, glancing over them once more before standing to head for the whiteboard.
And stop when I realize the person who’s come in is not a student.
“Hi,” I say to the fairly tall brunette who’s looking at me with a slightly confused expression. She looks around my age, clearly too old to be a high school student. “Can I help you?”
“Uh, yeah,” she says uncomfortably. She looks around my classroom confused. “Sorry, I thought this was Drake McCain’s classroom.”
“Oh,” I respond with a smile. “This was his room last year. He’s in three-oh-five now.”
“Okay,” she says. “Thanks.”
And without another word she walks out and lets the door close behind her.
The warning bell rings and students start pouring through the doors over the next few minutes.
“Morning Miss Ray,” a voice says. I turn to see Lake walking through the door, backpack slung over one shoulder. He’s got one hand in a pocket and ease on his shoulders. He’s going to be a heart breaker someday. Probably already is. “How you doing today?”
“Just fine, Lake,” I say with a smirk and a shake of the head. “You know, you should really stop flirting with me. I am dating your brother.” I add this last part quietly.
“No need to whisper,” he taunts with a whisper of his own. “The entire school already knows about you two. When two teachers hook up, it tends to spread quickly.”
I’m sure my face flushes red and suddenly I can’t look at my class who is settling in. “Well, that’s embarrassing.”
Lake chuckles and looks at the class too. “Hey, I’m supposed to tell you that my mom wants you and Drake to come over for dinner again on Sunday. Something about her wanting to get to know you better.”
“Oh,” I say, taken off guard. “Yeah, tell her I’ll be there.”
Lake gives me a smirk and finally makes his way to his seat.
“Okay,” I say when the tardy bell has rung and I’ve taken attendance. “We’ve been talking about Ramesses the second. Today I want to talk a bit about his wife, Nefertari.”
The students take out their notebooks and pencils start scratching across paper.
I pace in front of the class with a whiteboard marker in hand. I’ve got notes written all over it, only half way up the board since I can’t reach any more of it. “We don’t really know much about the relationships between the pharaoh’s and their wives, but we can glean some idea from these two.
“Nefertari was featured quite prominently on her husband’s temples and monuments. He wrote love poetry on the walls of her burial chambers. This is unusual. So, do you think maybe they were in love?” The class just stares back at me with tired eyes.
“I think so,” I continue. “But…did you know that the royal succession line ran through the females? Unlike most of the cultures we see in history. This is why we see situations that get kind of weird sometimes; things like marriages with brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters.”
This finally gets a reaction from the class. There’s grunts of disgust and several declarations of “gross.”
Good, I’ve got their attention on this early morning.
I don’t see Drake during our third period break hour and Mr. Scott informs me at lunch that Drake suddenly called in a substitute and left right as first period started.
I text him a few times, asking if he’s okay. He doesn’t respond.
It takes me clear until I’m headed home after school to remember the woman who came looking for him this morning.
What did she want and who was she? And what could she have said that made him leave so quickly? He obviously wasn’t sick, and it didn’t seem like some kind of family emergency since Lake stayed all during first period.
There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that grows heavier and heavier as I get home. But determined not to jump to any irrational fears before he can come and explain himself during our date, I go up to my apartment and start making our dinner.
What I am preparing is complicated and time consuming which is good for keeping my mind from thinking up dramatic scenarios. I chop the vegetables, cut the chicken, start the noodles soaking, fry the ingredients together. I put dessert in the oven.
And watch the clock tick closer and closer to six-thirty. I turn the heat down on the stove and let the food simmer, dump the noodles in the pan. I sit at the bar and stare at the clock as it ticks down the final two minutes until Drake is supposed to arrive.
Six-thirty comes. Than six-thirty-five. Six-fifty.
And just as I am about to put the food into containers to move to the fridge, there is a knock at the door.
I don’t know what is coming, but I feel full of lead and ice as I get up and walk to the door. I pause for just a moment with my hand on the knob and stare at it.
How do I know that something is about to happen? Is it premonition or something instinctual? Maybe it’s just that extra female sense, the one that just knows.
Finally, I turn the knob and pull the door open.
Drake stands in the hall, his eyes on the floor.
His hair is a mess. It stands on end like he’s been pulling at it. The top three buttons on his shirt are undone and one sleeve is rolled up to his elbow, the other hangs open around his wrist.
And his face is pasty white.
“Drake?” I breathe.
Finally, he looks up at me and there is nothing but sadness and dread in his eyes.
“What’s happened?” I ask.
Suddenly his eyes redden and well. I reach out for his arm and gently pull him inside. I close the door and lead him to the couch. He sinks down into it with a limp flop.
I sit on the coffee table, my hands pressed firmly together between my knees. There’s a rock in my throat that threatens to suffocate me. And I don’t even know why it’s there.
“She kept…” Drake’s voice cuts out before it even really begins, strangled and hoarse. “She kept saying she really needed to talk to me. And I kept brushing her off.” He shakes his head twice. “She…she really did need to talk to me.”
My body slows and frost starts growing in my chest. “That woman who came looking for you this morning was Diana, wasn’t it?”
Drake still doesn’t look at me. He stares vacantly ahead and nods.
“We, uh…” he struggles to speak. “We broke up the second week of August. But…” Three tears leak out onto his cheek. He presses a fist to his lips and shakes his head. “Kaylee, I don’t want to tell you this but we…we had sex a week before that
. We used a condom, but…”
More tears leak down his cheeks, working their way past his closed eyes.
I stop breathing and time seems to stop.
I’m not good at math, but even I can put this together.
The beginning of August was roughly ten weeks ago. She’d been trying to talk to Drake for two or three weeks now.
“Diana’s pregnant,” I whisper. I bite my lower lip, as if I wish I could take back the words I’ve just spoken and make them untrue. “You’re the father.”
Drake collapses back into the couch and his eyes open to stare at the ceiling. He shakes his head. He’s stark white and looks ready to vomit.
“Yeah,” he barely gets out.
Silence is painful. It’s heavy and suffocating and when no one is saying anything it can let your imagination torture you.
But silence is what takes the place in absence of words.
I’m not sure how long we sit there, saying absolutely nothing. Time ceases to have any meaning.
But the future, the one we had talked about so recently, it becomes expertly clear.
Drake is a good man. He will make a wonderful father. And he will do the right thing. He’ll be a part of his baby’s life.
And I have no right being a complication to that.
I hear Drake shift and look down to see him sitting forward. His forearms rest on his knees. His eyes are red and puffy. His skin is white with red splotches. He looks like a wreck. But he still looks like my Drake. My Drake that I wanted to be my future husband and future father to our future children.
“I could kill myself, Kaylee,” he says, but his voice is little more than a hoarse whisper. “I promised you things I had every intention of keeping. Things I want so bad I can’t even breathe right now. But…”
“But you’ve got to make this right,” I finish for him when he can no longer say the words.
He swallows hard and his eyes drop to the floor.
“I never knew my father,” I say. It hurts to speak, my throat is so tight. My voice doesn’t sound like my own. “I literally don’t know his name. And being a kid without a father is no way to grow up. It isn’t fair. So Drake, you’ve got to forget about any feelings you may have for me. This is more important.”