Page 17
I closed my eyes, as if my eyelids were the levers of a printing press, etching the fibers into my mind. Memories were outside Cole’s reach. As long as I held them, memories were mine and mine alone.
SIXTEEN
NOW
Home. Two and a half months left.
Time was doing strange things to me. Sometimes a week felt like a day, and sometimes a minute felt like an eternity. It was like a clock that was running out of power, winding down except when it received an occasional jolt, and a week was suddenly gone.
Telling Jack the truth—that I did remember him—seemed to adjust things between us. Softened some of the tension. I could see it in the occasional glances he sent my way during class. And when I caught him staring now, there was no hostility in his gaze.
We had reached an equilibrium. A way to exist living in each other’s world again.
I thought about my other efforts. I wasn’t making any headway with Mary, since she’d missed the last couple of Saturdays at the soup kitchen. But things were getting better with my dad.
After school one day, he asked me to run the latest design change for his campaign flyers into town to give to Mr. Macy at the printing shop. His office had the latest technology, but when it came to my dad’s campaign, it was strictly old-fashioned. He believed a handshake was the best social-networking tool, and a computer couldn’t convince someone of the sincerity of a smile.
I grabbed the folder with the designs. As I opened the front door, my dad called from the kitchen, “The exercise will do you good. ”
Because exercise and service to others fix all problems. It was a good step, my dad giving me a task. We were approaching normal.
I made the trek into town and delivered the instructions to Mr. Macy, and when I came out of his shop I could hear music coming from somewhere near the center of town. I started wandering toward the sound. The song was soft enough that even though it sounded familiar, I couldn’t quite place it.
I kept checking down side streets, looking for the source, so I wasn’t paying attention when I turned the corner at the pharmacy and ran headfirst into someone’s chest.
Jack’s chest.
Several boxes he was carrying—all but one—fell to the ground. He froze, holding tightly to the last box.
“Oh,” I said. “Sorry. ”
“Becks. ” He dropped the remaining box from his hand.
We both started to speak.
“What are—”
“I was—”
Neither of us finished.
Jack regained his composure. “You know, just once I’d like to run into you without actually running into you. ”
“You’re the football player,” I said. “Think about what it’s doing to me. ”
I’d noticed a couple of these moments lately—the ones where things seemed so normal between us, if only for an instant.
“Are you working?” I asked.
“Yeah. Same job as always. ”
I panicked. I couldn’t remember where he worked, and that moment of being normal was gone. His job wasn’t one of the memories that had kept me alive, so technically it’d been a hundred years since I’d thought about it.
He bent down to pick up the packages. Each one had a name and address written on it.
“Delivery,” I said with a start, suddenly remembering. “Of packages. ”
Of course, anyone with two eyes could’ve guessed that. He stood and gave me an amused look. “Yeah. I wish I shared your enthusiasm for it. ” He handed me the top two boxes. “Walk with me, Becks. ”
We strolled down the sidewalk. The air had a wintery bite to it, even though it’d been a record warm November. Winter came early in our town. Even the hottest summer days always held the threat of a rainstorm.
We passed a few tourist shops, Indian beads and jewelry places mostly, until we reached a window displaying turquoise artifacts.
“Wait here,” Jack said, and he took two of the packages inside.
Now that I was still, I could hear faint music again coming from somewhere. It wasn’t uncommon to find two or three street musicians near Main Street on any given night, playing for change. A breeze picked up, carrying the music with it, making the melody swell louder in my ears.
The door to the shop opened, and Jack came out just as I recognized with a sinking feeling the song that was playing.
Jack heard it too. “The Dead Elvises are in town again,” he said. “They’ve been giving impromptu street concerts most nights. ”
Cole and his band, performing in town. Feeding on the audience, as they had done for centuries. They’d evolved from lyres and harps to sitars and lutes to guitars and basses. They played concerts until their lack of aging became obvious. Then they would disappear for a while, switch genres and locations, maybe even learn new instruments and start again. Starting over for them wasn’t that big of a deal when they could manipulate the emotions of the people they played for.
I could feel Jack’s gaze on my face, waiting for my reaction. Cole was somewhere nearby, with his band, but I made sure my face showed nothing. Holding the next box up, I said, “Where to next?”
Jack smiled. “This way. The Rusty Boot. ”
We had just finished delivering the last of the packages and had passed Mulligan’s Saloon when a man called Jack’s name from behind us. We turned around. Carson Smith, a bartender in the saloon, was waving us toward him. Jack looked at me and sighed, as if he knew what Carson wanted and he didn’t like it.
“Sorry, Jack,” Carson said, and he held the door to the bar open for us. “It’s Will. ”
We paused at the door. “Will, your brother?” I asked. Last I knew, Jack’s brother was serving in the war. I couldn’t remember if it was Iraq or Afghanistan.
“Yeah. He’s back. Wait here. Or if you need to go…”
“I’ll wait. ”
Jack nodded and followed Carson into the bar. A few minutes later, the bar door flung back open, and Jack stumbled through, half carrying his brother. The last time I saw Will, he looked like a slightly shorter, slightly older version of Jack. But when he lifted his head, I barely knew him. He’d lost some weight, and a sheen of sweat covered his face; little tear droplets pooled in the corners of puffy eyes. His drinking had obviously only gotten worse.
“The other guy started it!” Will said to a couple of tourists walking by. They gave him a wide margin.
I rushed to Will’s other side and put his arm around my shoulders.
“Thanks,” Jack said. “My car’s back at the store. If we can just make it there. ”
Will noticed me for the first time. “Hey. A girl. ” He studied my face for a moment, and then he gasped and stopped walking. “Nikki Beckett. You’d better get out of here before my brother sees you. He’d freak. ”
“And, we’re walking,” Jack said, heaving Will forward.
“Oh, hey, Jack. Didn’t see you there. ” Will smiled again, undisturbed. His eyes glazed over and he seemed to have forgotten all about me.
Jack looked at me around the slumping head of his brother. “Will was wounded. And discharged. ”
Will swung his head around to face me. “They expected me to wear pants!” He sprayed the last word across my face, and I gagged at his foul breath. “Like, all the time… It was so hot. ” He stared at me again. “Hey, you look familiar. Hey, Jack, ’member that girl—?”
“Yes,” Jack interrupted.
“You know, the one who totally messed you up—”
“Yes,” Jack cut him off again. His eyes met mine, and he gave me an apologetic grin. I felt my own lips turning up.
Will pulled up short. “Uh-oh. ” He made a gurgled sound and Jack yanked him toward some bushes just in time for Will to empty the contents of his stomach.
I stepped aside as Jack patted Will’s back. “It’s okay, Will. It’s okay. ”
Will straightened up, wobbled a bit, and then sank directly to the grou
nd, barely missing the tainted bush. “I gotta rest. ”
“Just a little bit farther—up to that bench over there. ”
I didn’t think Will would make it, but a few minutes later the three of us were sitting on the bench. Will closed his eyes and sank lower, leaning his head against the backrest.
“He’ll probably be out for a while,” Jack said.
“This has happened before?”
He grimaced. “Yeah. He got out of the hospital a couple months ago. My parents stopped coming for him after about the third or fourth time. Sometimes I come and get him. Sometimes he goes somewhere else to crash. ”
Will began snoring.
“It’s been a rough year for you,” I said.
A wide grin spread across Jack’s face. “You could say that. My brother got shot. I crashed my car. Crashed my grades. Beat up my best friend and a few other random people”—he paused—“and lost you. All in all, not what I’d imagined for my senior year. Right now, I’m just in salvage mode. ”
“I understand. ” It was not an empty sentiment, and Jack knew it. He nodded.
Will snorted awake and gave me a bewildered look. His head swiveled back and forth from Jack to me. “Whoa. Is it last year?” Jack and I both laughed softly as Will raised his right arm over his head and rotated it. “Nope. Still hurts. ” He let his arm drop back down and his shoulders sagged. “I’ve been shot, haven’t I?”
“Yeah, Will. ” Jack swung his arm over his shoulder. “You ready to walk again?”
“I think so. ”
I helped pull him up, although I doubted I was doing any of the actual work. Will was staring at me again. He turned away, toward Jack, and whisper-yelled, “I heard Nikki’s back. ”
“Yep,” Jack grunted as Will stumbled over the curb. “She is. ”
“How are you doin’ with that news, little bro?”
Jack looked at me when he answered. “Better every day. ”
My bedroom.
That evening, I was riding a strange euphoria from my afternoon with Jack when my bedroom window rattled and Cole hiked himself up through the opening. Once inside, he shook his head from the downpour of icy rain, and as he came closer, the mark on my shoulder felt more like a burn, as if it were beginning to swell. Cole had said it would get stronger as my time ran out.
“Hello, Cole,” I said without looking up.
He froze. “You seem happy. ”
“Not really. Just enjoying my homework. ” I tapped my open English lit book with my pencil. I kept my voice even. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to invite you to the Christmas Dance this weekend. ”
I grimaced. “No thanks. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re not invited. ”
“Oh, but I am. The Angels are playing at the dance, and they wanted a star appearance by yours truly. ” The Angels were a local indie rock band who would probably kill for the added publicity of having a Dead Elvis there too. What I couldn’t understand was why Cole would agree.
I stared at him for a moment. “Why are you doing this? Why are you still here?”
“The whole band’s here now. We’re settling down. ”
“But you could go somewhere else. ”
“They know how much I need you. They’re supporting me. ”
I turned back to my open book and listened as Cole strummed a few chords that didn’t seem to belong to any song. “I’m not going to the dance. ”
Cole was suddenly at my side. “Come, Nik. I have to show you something there. ”
“Show me what?”
“Look at me. ” I turned toward him. “It has to do with what you are. I can’t explain it, but it’s something you have to see. I promise things will become clear. ”
I thought about it for a long time. Cole returned to my bed and strummed a classical piece I had only ever heard played on a piano.
“Will you leave me alone afterward?” I asked.
“I can’t. ” He stopped playing and leaned forward. “But I promise to leave your house. ”
“And never come back?”
He nodded.
“Never come in through my window? And you’ll stay away from my family?”
He nodded again.
“How do I know you’re not lying?”
“Because I wouldn’t lie to you. ”
I didn’t know if that was true, but if he kept his word, he’d be that much farther away from Tommy and my dad. “Fine. I’ll go to the dance. Not with you. But I’ll be there. ”
“Deal. ”
He let a smile cross his face. “I heard Jack is taking the lovely Jules. ”
My face showed nothing, even though this was news to me. “Oh,” I said softly.
He breathed in loudly. “Okay, then. Before I go, what color will you wear?”
I tilted my head. “What?”
“What color dress are you wearing that night? So I can dress to match. ”