A chill blew through me as my eyes popped open. The happy glow dulled and the haze scattered. I suddenly realized something very important, something that neither of us had even thought of at this point. Roth would never grow any older. For as long as he walked this earth, he would look as he did today, while I would age and die like any other mortal out there thanks to my Warden blood.
Roth had an eternity.
I didn’t.
eight
THE CHILLED, UNSETTLED feeling followed me the rest of the morning and I hated that, because Roth and I were finally on the same page for the first time, and what we had done—what he had done—was frankly amazing and beautiful, and yes, I would want an eternity of mornings like that. Now I felt haunted, as if there was a shadow looming over us, turning infinite time into minutes or seconds. Which was stupid, because I recognized that I had a long, long time before I needed to worry about the awkwardness of a hot guy spending time with me when I was well into my golden years.
But I kept picturing Roth looking as fine and fresh as he did this morning while he rolled out of bed and cast a knowing grin in my direction. In my head, I didn’t look like I did right now. Instead, I had gray hair, a face that rivaled one of those dogs who had wrinkled skin and a hunched-over back. And instead of doing what we did this morning, we’d spend time playing bingo.
I kind of liked bingo, though.
Anyway, the whole thing went well beyond uncomfortable.
There were more pressing issues we needed to address now, which was why we were gathered in the kitchen with Cayman and another demon I’d never met before but who went by the name Edward. I seriously doubted that was the blond’s real name, because the name Edward really didn’t strike fear in the heart of anyone.
Cayman was sitting on the counter near the sink, swinging his feet like he was at the playground. I was at the island, having eaten my weight in sausage, and Roth was standing next to me. When we’d walked into the kitchen together, I’d half expected Cayman to whip out a camera and start taking pictures of us. His expression had been downright gleeful. I was doing my best not to look at Roth in that moment, because when I did, I thought about what he did this morning and what we hadn’t done, and then I went all red-faced. Things might’ve progressed further if Roth hadn’t sensed the other demon’s presence, forcing us to leave the bedroom to investigate.
Edward stood by Cayman and his eyes carried an odd light that was reflected when he tilted his head a certain way. He definitely wasn’t an Upper Level demon, and I thought he might be a Fiend.
“So, what’s on the menu today, kids?” Cayman asked.
Roth’s slow grin sent fire across my cheeks as he cast a long glance in my direction. He opened his mouth, but the look I sent him promised murder if he answered that question the way I thought he might.
He chuckled as he propped his hip against the counter. “I figure we need to hit the city, start searching out areas that we think the Lilin might be holed up in. The Wardens are doing the same, but I doubt they’re going to be successful.”
“The Lilin will sense them coming a mile away,” Edward agreed. “While we sort of blend in with the demon masses, at least until we get a chance to get close.”
I folded my arms across my belly, where Bambi was currently residing after making her way there when we left the bedroom. I thought about how the Upper Level demon reacted to me yesterday, then pushed the memory aside. “Do you think the witches that worship Lilith would be harboring the Lilin?”
Cayman shook his head. “I don’t think so. They’re obsessed with your mother, but they know how risky it would be to give something as evil as the Lilin shelter.”
Normally, having Lilith referred to as my mother would send me into an epic tizzy of unheard-of proportions, but now it was just...well, it was just the truth. Lilith was my mom, whether I wanted her to be or not. “But would any demon give it shelter at this point?” I asked.
“Not a smart one.” Roth shifted, placing a hand on my lower back. Though I wore a sweater, one of the horribly skintight ones Cayman had picked up from a corner somewhere no doubt, the weight of his hand still seared my skin. “They would have to know that not only will the Wardens be gunning for the Lilin, so will the Boss, and by extension, so will I, and they really don’t want to get on my bad side.”
“Aren’t you one bad mamajama—” Edward leaned back against the counter and his elbow brushed the coffeemaker. I jerked on the stool when the machine suddenly sparked, the smell of burnt ozone filling the kitchen as he glanced over his shoulder. The pot cracked straight down the middle as Edward faced us. “Uh, sorry about that.”
Yep. Most definitely a Fiend.
Roth scowled. “You’re going to have that replaced by tomorrow morning.”
The demon grimaced. “Yes, sir.”
Sir? Lowering my gaze to the countertop, I pressed my lips together to stop from grinning.
“None of the Fiends will help the Lilin. I can assure you of that,” Edward continued, shaking off his embarrassment, and I wondered if he was some sort of spokesperson for his kind.
There was still so much I didn’t know about the demon population, and that made me squirm in my seat. I had tagged so many of them in the past, sentencing them back to Hell, and I figured that the Boss didn’t appreciate failure of any kind. Did the Boss punish Fiends like the one in the room with us, whose only crime appeared to be massacring appliances? Guilt churned.
Exhaling softly, I glanced up as I scooped my hair up and started twisting it for no reason other than to have something to do with my hands. “Well, this is a big city. We can’t just start roaming around aimlessly.”
“Damn,” murmured Cayman. He winked. “I was looking forward to that.”
I rolled my eyes. “What we need to do is start tracking any suspicious deaths—otherwise healthy people dropping dead. I doubt the Lilin is just going to sit around and do nothing. If it starts pulling souls, the bodies have to pile up.”
“Good idea,” Edward said.
“That’s my girl.” Roth placed his fingers under my chin, tipping my head back and to the side. His lips were on mine in a nanosecond, and at first, I stiffened. I wasn’t used to being kissed in front of others. I wasn’t all that used to being kissed, period. Our relationship was so new, less than twenty-four hours, but his kisses had this ability to melt reservations and concerns. I softened, and the room fell away. He kissed me like there was no one else around us, but we weren’t alone.
Someone cleared his throat, and then Cayman groaned, “Really, guys?”
My face was burning as I pulled away, but Roth was unfazed. “What?” he asked.
“While I’m glad you guys have decided to become the twosome of the year, I really don’t want to see you sucking face,” Cayman commented. I wasn’t sure I believed him since he was all Team Roth. “It does things to my indigestion. Bad things.”
“I don’t mind,” Edward said.
My eyes widened. Okay. That was weird and...and gross.
Roth straightened, but dropped his arm around my shoulders. “Cayman, you can keep an eye out on the morgues and hospitals, and Eddie-boy, keep your eyes on the clubs throughout the city. Just don’t touch anything.”
The Fiend actually looked sheepish as he nodded.
“What are we going to do?” I asked, and when Roth’s eyes deepened, I knew what direction he was heading in. Reaching up, I placed my hand on his mouth. “Don’t.”
He nipped at my fingers and grinned when I pulled my hand away. “There’s a couple of places we should check out.”
We all started to part ways at that point, and it felt good to be doing something other than sitting around. I headed into the living room to grab a hair tie I’d left on the end table. Picking it up, I turned around to find Cayman standing a foot away.
“You still want to see Grim next week, Layla-Low-Bottom-Butts?” he asked.
I stared at him a moment, letting that nickname sink
in, and then I glanced at the doorway. “Yes, but I haven’t said anything to Roth yet.”
“I wouldn’t, because he’s not going to be down with it.” He kept his voice low while he spoke fast. “Remember, sweet pea. I told you that the Boss isn’t entirely pleased with him. He goes down there, they’re going to keep him detained. You don’t want that.”
My stomach hollowed as I stepped closer to Cayman. “Can the Boss just come up and get him if he wants to?”
He tilted his head to the side. “Yes, but it’s doubtful right now. Later? Who knows? I can distract Roth next Friday and give you time to get down there, but once you’re there, you’re going to have to hurry.”
“Hurry? In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve never been to Hell so I have no idea what the landscape is like,” I pointed out, trying not to freak out over the fact that I was going to go to Hell. Literally. “Need a little bit of direction here.”
Cayman grinned. “It’s easier than you think. Trust me, butterball. You’ll know exactly where to go once you get there.” Then he winked. “By the way, I’m proud of you. You made the right decision yesterday, choosing the future—choosing Roth.”
I opened my mouth, but he was gone before I could say a word. Turning slowly, I looked around the now-empty room. “I hate it when he does that.”
“What?”
Jumping at the sound of Roth’s voice, I couldn’t say I was that surprised to find him standing a foot behind me. “That! You guys just popping in and out of rooms. It’s freaky and unnatural.”
“You’re just jealous because you can’t do that.”
I rolled my eyes, but he was kind of right. I was sort of jealous of not having that nifty ability. If I did, I would be popping here, there and everywhere. Bambi chose that moment to switch positions. She slithered around my waist, resting her head along my ribs. I’d also pop her butt on the couch when she got antsy.
“What was Cayman doing in here?” Roth picked up a strand of my hair and started roping the length around his finger.
The idea of lying to Roth, especially after everything, made me feel like I’d just bathed in grime, but I knew if I told him what I planned to do about Sam’s soul, he wouldn’t let me go down there alone, and maybe not at all. I couldn’t allow him to stop me. And this was more than just protecting Roth from an unhappy Boss. Saving Sam’s soul was bigger than what either of us wanted.
“He was just being Cayman,” I said finally.
Roth tugged on the strand of hair he’d wrapped around his finger, guiding me closer to him. “That’s a loaded statement.” His eyes met mine, and my heart sped up. Leaning down, he rested his forehead against mine. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“If you behave yourself today, I have a surprise for you later.”
My lips curved up. “If I behave myself?”
“Uh-huh.” He kissed my brow as he straightened, letting go of my hair. “And by behaving yourself, I mean being as naughty as you can possibly be.”
Laughing, I gathered up my hair, twisting it into a quick bun. “I’m not sure I can be that naughty if we’re in public, looking for the Lilin.”
“There’s always time for naughtiness, Shortie.”
“I’m not surprised that you believe this.”
He shot me a look. “When have any of my beliefs been wrong?”
I arched a brow. “Many, many times.”
“I think you have a distorted memory,” he returned, and I laughed again, missing this—the playful banter—and I was relieved to see that it hadn’t been tarnished by everything it had taken us to get to this point.
“Keep telling yourself that.” I smiled when he pouted. “Before any surprises, I want to swing by and see Stacey.”
“Can do.” He lifted his hand, brushing his knuckles across my cheek, and it was another thing about Roth that had never changed, not even when we were apart. He was definitely a touchy-feely kind of demon. “You want to visit her alone?”
His thoughtfulness didn’t really surprise me anymore. Not that it didn’t still wow me, because it did, and my heart was doing that swelling thing again, but I couldn’t figure out how he didn’t see his own goodness. I stretched up and kissed the corner of his lips before settling back down. “I think she’ll be happy to see you.”
“Of course she will be,” he murmured, his gaze lingering on my lips. I shivered even though I wasn’t cold. Nope. Not at all. “Everyone is happy to see me.”
I shook my head. “You ready?” When he nodded, I smiled up at him. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“I would, but that would ruin the fun.” He chuckled as my smile slipped into a frown. “Okay. We aren’t going anywhere. Well, anywhere in particular. We are going to roam the streets aimlessly.”
“Wow. That’s a stellar plan.”
He bit down on his lower lip as he grinned. “Actually, it’s pretty damn clever.”
“That’s yet to be seen.”
Roth grabbed my hand and started to lead me toward the front door. “Here’s the deal. I don’t think we’re going to have to look too hard for the Lilin. Actually, I don’t think you are going to have to seek the Lilin out.”
“And why’s that?”
He looked over his shoulder at me, all humor vanishing from his face. “Because I believe the Lilin is going to come looking for you.”
nine
NOTHING LIKE HEARING a psychotic demon that you’d unwillingly helped create would be looking for you to make you feel like you needed to enter the creeper relocation program.
But I hoped Roth was correct, because it would make finding the tool easier.
Since it was the afternoon, we drove into the city and parked the car in one of the parking garages. We didn’t have great luck when it came to those particular structures, but hitting the sky was out of the question in the daylight. While the city’s human residents were all too aware of the Wardens and Roth was similar enough to them in his true form, if a human looked too closely at him, questions would arise that we weren’t prepared to answer.
Roth glanced at me as I opened the door. “You didn’t bring a jacket?”
I shook my head.
He closed the driver’s door. “A scarf?”
“No.”
“What about mittens?”
My lips twitched. “Nope.”
He eyed me as I walked around the front of the car. “What about a little beanie for your little head?”
I laughed. “No, Dad. I’m fine.”
His eyes glittered. “I like it when you call me—”
“Stop.”
He tilted his head to the side. “On a serious note, it’s cold out there, Shortie.”
That much I already knew. Roth was wearing only a long-sleeved shirt and jeans, because like full-blooded Wardens, his internal temperature was somewhere between steaming and boiling. One would think because I was a mixture of both, I would also have a high tolerance for the cold, but I never did.
Until now, I guessed. It couldn’t be more than forty degrees. “I’m not cold.”
A strange look crossed his features as he watched me intently. “Odd.”
There were odder things about me, say, for example, my feathered wings. There wasn’t a damn thing normal about that, and as Roth and I safely made it out of the parking garage on F Street, I brought them up.
“So...” I drew the word out as I stepped around a herd of young kids in uniforms and soft, white auras being ushered toward a bus idling at the curb. The packed sidewalk was an array of colors and my attention was immediately drawn to those with darker shades, the crimson reds and plums. Most were suits, clutching briefcases. They had sinned, and sinned in a very bad way. My stomach tightened with need, but the urge was nowhere near as intense as it used to be, and that also confounded me.
Roth took my hand, threading his fingers through mine. My heart got all giddy. I remembered a time when I would’ve yanked my hand away from his so fast his
head would’ve spun. “What?” he asked.
I was distracted by the fact we were legit holding hands, walking down the crowded sidewalk like a...like a real couple, a normal couple. Air hitched in my throat. This was the first time we were holding hands as a couple, and even though we hadn’t called each other boyfriend or girlfriend, we were so that.
A goofy, stupid grin tugged at my lips and as my gaze danced over the people rushing to get wherever they were going, I stopped fighting it. I smiled so widely there was a good chance my face would split right up the middle.