"Can you tell me why?"
As kind and patient as his voice was, Lorri suddenly felt cold, her heart squeezing with pain.
"I'm so insecure, Rigg."
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"No, you're not"
Lorri shook her head. She had no choice but to tell him.
"I don't think I can do it, Rigg. I don't think I can live so far from my family. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I'm not the woman you thought I was."
Rigg put his arms around her, searching desperately for words that would comfort her. For a time he only held her.
"Have I ever rushed you?" he asked at last.
"No."
"Have I ever made you do something you didn't want to do?"
"No."
Rigg moved back enough to see her face.
"I'm not going to start now."
Lorri didn't see where it came from, but suddenly it was there. A ring with a diamond. A perfect gold circle with a small diamond mounted on top.
Amazed by its beauty, Lorri was in her own world for a moment. But it wasn't long before she turned pain-filled eyes to
Rigg-
"Don't
say anything," Rigg stopped her. "I just wanted you to
know I have this. It's not to hurt you or force you to say yes. I'll just keep it, and when you want it, you can have it."
"Oh, Rigg," Lorri said, dying a little over his gentleness. "I wish you could love someone other than me."
Rigg laughed. Lorri didn't expect that. Neither did she expect him to wrap his arms around her and give her a huge hug.
Lorri felt amazed. She was devastated to learn this truth about herself-that she couldn't move away from her family-but Rigg acted as though it were a perfectly normal reaction.
"Shall we walk some more?"
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Lord gawked at him.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You just prop osed; I have to say no; and you want to go for a walk?"
The back of Rigg's hand came up to stroke bj-ler cheek as he asked, "How should it go? Do I storm off the beao -ch because you need more time? Do I plead with you to marry me now? Do I give up my job and just hope for something _ig in southern California?"
Rigg waited, but Lorri had no answer.
"I didn't know how else to do this, love. I wantoned you to know how serious I was, but I'm also a very patient man. S3omehow, some way, we'll be together. We'll live as husband and vs vife and have a whole bunch of little Riggs and little Lorris. And v^ave'll remember this conversation on the beach and the fact that r more time was needed, but that's all it will be: a memory."
"I love you so much," Lorri said, thinking thewere was no one else in the world quite like him.
"And I love you. That's why I know this is go sig to work. We just have to give it more time."
"You mean givememore time," Lorri said, feelfeing disgruntled with herself.
"Lorri, I'm not the one who lived in Australia _a for more than four years and was then forced to say goodbyetcmomy sister. It's not surprising that you don't want to live far frcz3m home right now."
Lorri realized, not for the first time, that she was harder on herself than anyone else was. She wanted to say y^-^es to Rigg, but she couldn't. Not right now.
"And you'll wait?" Lorri asked him again.
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Rigg bent and pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. He moved back just enough to look into her eyes.
"Yes."
Lorri threw her arms around the man she loved. She squeezed his neck so hard that he laughed with what air he had left.
"I'm ready to finish that walk now," Lorri told him, looking up into his face.
"And when you're ready for the rest?"
Til let you know."
A huge smile coming to his face, Rigg claimed her hand once again, and they continued down the beach.
"He's picked me up every Friday night for four weeks, Grandpa," Max tried to explain. "I just know that one of these days he's going to ask me on a date."
"And you're not sure if you should go?"
"I want to, but you've never said how you feel about Johnny. I mean, you seem to have a good time with him when he's here, but I can't tell exactly."
"I like Johnny, but that doesn't change the fact that you're both 18."
"He's 19, but I see what you mean."
"Do you? It's easy when you have an older sister in love to feel like you're ready for love yourself."
Max hadn't thought about it in those terms. She was a romantic at heart, and over the years Johnny King had said some very romantic things to her. She would have denied that it turned her head, but now she wasn't so sure.
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"What do they call it?" Max thought out loud. "Being in love with being in love."
"I don't think you're that shallow, not in the least, but you and Johnny are young. I just want you to move very slowly, and dating won't let you do that. Keep getting to know each other in group situations where you're not paired off."
"So he can keep picking me up, but you'd rather I not go on a date with him?"
"Yes. If it comes up and he has a hard time with the idea, I'd be glad to explain it to him."
Max smiled. "I don't think he would mind that. Rigg would have been terrified."
Dean had a smile of his own. "You're probably right, but don't forget, Johnny's never had to salute me."
The two of them laughed over this for a time before Dean suggested ice cream. It was much too dose to dinner-Ruth was sure to scold if they were discovered-but this time they didn't let that stop them.
Lorri stood at Josie's grave, not really needing to talk to her sister but wanting to face some of her fears and thinking this might be just the place. Her mother and grandfather were coming behind her, moving a little more slowly to give her time.
It didn't seem like 14 months ago that she died. Today it seemed like years. Lorri looked up at her grandfather, still in the distance, thinking that he wasn't a young man anymore. He was fit, in perfect health, actually, but not young. Lorri's eyes swung to her mother and knew she was healthy as well.
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What am I so afraid of?she asked God.Why can't I go on with my life? A man waits for me in Santa Rosa. He loves me, but I'm trapped here like a child holding onto my mother's apron. If I lived in southern California, I wouldn't see my family every day. They could still die at any moment, no matter where I lived.
Lorri looked down at the grave and read her sister's name. Ken Showers had thought he would marry Josie. It had been his plan for years, but it was not to be. Would he change anything? Had he known it was not to be, would he still have asked?
Lorri knew that Ken would have asked anyway. He would have asked because he loved her and was ready to marry her whenever they had the chance. Just like Rigg. Even knowing she would say no, Rigg had proposed and bought a ring, and then told her he would wait.
"What a fool you are, Lorri," she whispered to herself, resolve filling her as she decided she didn't want to be foolish any longer.
"I'm going to Santa Rosa this weekend. I'm taking the bus," Lorri told Dean and Ruth as soon as they arrived home.
"Are you sure, Lorri?" Dean checked. "I can take you."
"No, I've been dependent long enough."
"You haven't, not at all," her mother argued.
"Well, I have been about some things, and I do want to marry Rigg. I want it with all my heart."
"I need to tell you something. I wish I'd told you before," Dean said, his voice thick "I spoke to Rigg early on. I wanted you to be able to talk to someone about the island, and I told him just that.
i
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I put pressure on him to find a way, and when your mother asked him to dinner that first night, it seemed to be perfect.
"I thought he might be the one, Lorri. Maybe I shouldn't have interfered without telling you, but I didn't want you to be embarrassed. I only wanted y
ou to have someone who had been there to talk to."
Tears had filled his eyes, and Lorri went to him. "Thank you for telling me. I'm glad I didn't know."
Ruth was the next to hug her. She didn't let herself think about how far away her daughter would be living. It was closer than Australia, and she and Rigg needed each other.
"Mrs. Riggs," Lorri said into the phone the next morning. "It's Lorraine Archer. Am I getting you at a bad time?"
"Not at all, Lorraine. How are you?"
"I'm fine. I was wondering if I could be so presumptuous as to invite myself for the weekend."
Virginia Riggs had all she could do not to squeal with delight but simply said, "We would love to have you."
"If you're sure it will work, I'll come on Thursday and stay until Sunday. I'm not telling Rigg I'm coming."
"Well, you can trust me to keep a secret, and you come any day you like."
"All right. I'll be on the early bus and with you before dinner."
"Del will be there to pick you up, and I'll come up with some plan so that Rigg comes for dinner and doesn't know why."
"Okay," Lorri said on a laugh, loving her conspiratorial tone. "I'll see you Thursday."
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Lorri hung up the phone, her heart pounding. There was some fear, but her excitement was greater. She was going to Santa Rosa. She was going to tell Rigg that she would marry him.
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Lorri recited Psalm 56:3 to herself, still working hard not to be a fool.
Santa Rosa
"Hello, Lorraine." Del Riggs greeted her warmly, even giving her a hug.
"Hello, Mr. Riggs. Thank you for picking me up."
"The pleasure is all mine. Is this your only bag?"
"Yes. I didn't even try to bring a dress as I have to be back on the bus right away Sunday morning."
"Let me take that for you. How was the trip?"
"It was fine. I read most of the way."
"You don't get sick?"
"No, but my sister does, and it's not very fun."
Lorri was calming more with each minute. She didn't know these people very well, but she shouldn't have worried. They must have approved of Rigg's proposal, and she knew what a wonderful son they had raised.
"Is Max with you?" were the first words from Mitch's mouth when she stepped through the door.
"No, not this time."
"Tell her she should have come."
"Oh, go on, Mitch," his mother teased, "and let me hug this girl. It's so good to see you, Lorraine."
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Lorri hugged Virginia back, so thankful that she'd taken this step.
"Now, why don't you take your bag up to the room you had before and then come down and help Mitch set the table. You've timed this just right, you know. Donovan will be here in about 30 minutes.",
Lorri smiled and headed upstairs, so excited she could hardly stand it. She had actually done it, actually pulled off the surprise.
1
Rigg had a headache. His mother was expecting him for dinner, but tonight he was just not up to it. He stood next to the phone in the kitchen, one hand rubbing his temple, and dialed his folks' number.
"Hello," Virginia said into the receiver.
"Hey, Mom, I don't think I'm going to make it."
"Are you not feeling well, Donovan?"
"Just a headache. I think I'd better stay home."
"Why don't you come by long enough to fill a plate?"
"No, I think-"
"Lorraine, why don't we put that milk pitcher on the table now," Virginia said, barely moving the phone from her face. "What were you saying, dear?"
"Mother," Rigg's voice had dropped. "Who were you just talking to?"
"Me?" Virginia could have accepted the Academy Award then and there. "I wasn't talking to anyone."
The silence lasted only a moment.
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"I'll be right over," Rigg said into the phone, not even giving his mother a chance to say goodbye.
Virginia had just replaced the receiver when Lorri poked her head around the corner.
"Did you say something to me, Mrs. Riggs?"
"No, dear. I was just on the phone."
Virginia smiled when Lorri nodded and went back to setting the table. Right now she thought she could smile for the rest of her life.
Much as Rigg's heart told him to run, he walked. He knew his mother would not play games with him. If Lorri wasn't there, she would have admitted it to him, but Rigg couldn't quite get his mind around the fact that he was going to see her in just a moment.
Slipping in the back door as he always did, Rigg stepped into the dining room and found her setting the table with his brother. Mitch was the first to spot him. He set down the cup he was holding and waited. Lorri saw that action and looked up.
"Hi," she said, loving that she was in the same room with him.
"Hello, yourself," Rigg said, just wanting to drink in the sight of her. He glanced around but didn't see her family. "How did you get here?"
"The bus."
"Is Max here with you?"
"No." Lorri began to smile.
"Your mother?"
"No."
Rigg could feel his heart beginning to pound.
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"You came alone?"
Lorri just nodded, and Rigg came toward her, took her hand, and led her toward the back hall where he'd just come in.
"If you'll excuse us for just a moment" he said to his family, who had all stood watching with unabashed curiosity. Once in the hall, he turned and took Lorri in his arms.
"Please tell me you're here to say yes to my question."
"I am," Lorri told him and watched Rigg's eyes shut, his forehead coming to rest on hers.
Lorri smiled up at him and waited for him to look at her.
"I love you so much," he said.
"I love you too." They had said it in letters; it felt so good to say it again in person. "I came on the bus to tell you."
Rigg wanted nothing more than to kiss her, but his family was waiting. Still holding her hand, Rigg went back to the dining room.
"Dad, Mom, Mitch, I want you to meet the future Mrs. Donovan Riggs."
As might have been expected, dinner was a little late.
327TtOCHtfttufy
"When will you marry me?" Rigg asked. He and Lorri had offered to do the dishes. It gave them a chance to be alone.
"Well, I'm going to Minnesota with Grandpa and my mother at the end of September. We'll be gone for about three weeks. I can marry you any time after that."
Rigg smiled at her pragmatic tone, but he actually had tougher questions he needed to have answered.
"What changed for you? Why did you come?"
Lorri dried a dish and thought about how to answer.
"I was afraid, but I couldn't see that. I thought I just needed to be near my family because of all the changes in the last year, but it was fear."
"Of what?"
"Fear that they'll die when I'm away, like Josie did for them. Fear that I won't see them again on this earth."
"Is the fear gone now?"
"Not all of it, but I'm fighting it. I'm trying not to let it control me."
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Rigg didn't want to keep his distance any longer. He came close enough to kiss her but just looked into her eyes.
"I was coming to see you this weekend. Did I tell you that?"
"No, but I hadn't seen you since the weekend you proposed, and I thought you might come down. I was afraid we'd pass each other on the road. That's why I came on a Thursday."
"I'm not going to want to go to work tomorrow."
"But we have all day Saturday."
"And Sunday."
"No, Rigg, I have to be on the morning bus in order to get home by evening."
Rigg shook his head. "I'll take you home."
Lorri frowned. "Do you have Monday off?"
"No, but we'll leave early like the bus would have; we'll make much better time than the bus does; and I'll get back when I get back."
"That's an awful lot of driving."
Rigg got a little closer. "Ask me if I mind."
Lorri smiled, and Rigg wasn't willing to wait any more. He kissed her. Not a long, passionate kiss, but one that still left them a little breathless.
"What day did you say you would marry me?" Rigg asked comically, giving Lorri the giggles.
Del was headed to the kitchen from the living room. He wanted a glass of water, but the sound of Lord's quiet laughter stopped him. They had so little time together before Lorri would have to go back. Del knew the drink could wait.
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"Okay, have you got the calendar?" Rigg asked. It was early Sunday morning, and they had been on the road for all of ten minutes.
"I have it."
"Okay, mark the dates you're gone on your trip."
Lorri turned to the end of September and circled the date her mother had written on the calendar at home. She paged ahead three weeks later and circled that day.
"When will you be back?"
"Around the twentieth of October."
"Okay. How much time will you need after that?"
"For what?"
"Oh, you know, finding a dress and such."
"My mother will make my dress."
"Does she sew that well?"
"She sews so well that you don't realize she's made many of the things we wear."
"I had no idea."
Lorri only smiled but didn't look back at the calendar. Rigg knew he was excited to find a date and wondered why she wasn't. He asked her.
"I am excited," she told him, "but it's just occurred to me that I don't know all that goes into this. I want things to be simple. Is that going to be all right with you?"
"Are you asking me about simple? I'm the one who wanted to suggest elopement to you all weekend."
Lorri loved this. She laughed and looked over at him behind the wheel. Rigg glanced her way several times.
"Don't you want to scoot over here and sit in the middle of the seat?"
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"I do, as a matter of fact," Lorri told him but held her place.
Rigg had to smile. "You're a smart girl, Lorraine Archer."
"I might be, but I think mostly you've just remembered that my grandpa was an admiral."
It was Rigg's turn to laugh, and Lorri hoped they would do just that all the way home.