Without thinking, Saber used his Touch sense on her, sending his whisper-fingers to card through her hair as he stroked her breasts and his whisper-lips to caress the tender mound of her pussy as he kissed and licked the vulnerable curve of her neck.
Lissa suddenly froze underneath him. “Saber, what are you doing?” she whispered. “What are we doing? What’s wrong with us?”
“There’s nothing wrong,” he protested, his body throbbing with need. “We’re showing each other how we feel, giving each other what we need at last.”
“No…no!” She pushed against his chest. “We can’t.”
Saber reluctantly rolled off her and Lissa sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, hiding herself from him.
“We can’t,” she whispered again. “Don’t you remember—we said that even if we lived together we’d never do that. You told me you’d be content without it.”
“And I would be—if it wasn’t possible.” He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “That was back when we thought the kinship compounds would keep us apart—remember?”
“Yes, but you were…just now you were going to give me the Deep Touch.” Lissa squeezed herself tighter, her eyes troubled. “We can’t do that, Saber. We’re of the same clan.”
“I know it. Damn it, I know that.” He pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead and took a deep breath. “I guess I just…forgot it for a moment.”
“I almost did too,” Lissa admitted in a low, trembling voice. “But we can’t do that. We can’t afford to let ourselves forget—even for a minute. We’re playing a part here—putting on roles that aren’t real. When this is all over we’ll—”
“What?” he said, more harshly than he intended to. “Go our separate ways? Never see each other again?”
“Y-yes.” Her eyes were filling again but she dashed the tears away angrily. “I don’t want to but we can’t help it. We…we can’t do anything else. You know what would happen if you took me home as your mate—our people would revolt against you and revile me as an incestuous whore.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Saber, but that’s no way to live. We can’t…we just can’t.”
“I know.” He took a deep breath, trying to get control. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shout at you.”
“You didn’t—not really. You were just upset. I was too.” Lissa sighed and gave him a troubled look. “If only we were from different clans.”
“Well, we’re not.” With a quick movement, Saber got up. “Excuse me, I’m going to get ready for bed.”
“Saber…” She put out a hand to him, her eyes still troubled but he only shook his head.
“We have a long day tomorrow, it’s better if we get some sleep. So please…put some clothes on and let’s go to bed.”
Lissa looked down at herself and her face flushed dark red. “Of course,” she mumbled. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Saber said shortly. “You’re beautiful like that. I just can’t…” He shook his head. “It’s too hard to see you when I know I can’t have you.”
Then he turned and left, shutting himself into the bathroom and trying not to remember the hurt look on her face.
* * * * *
The virginal white gown she’d worn the night before had been taken away to be washed by Lady Sha’rak’s cleaning staff. Lissa rummaged through her cube looking for another non-revealing nightdress to wear but to her consternation, she couldn’t find a thing. Well, nothing modest, anyway. She finally slipped into a sheer pale green dress that barely came down past her behind and was practically see-through.
It doesn’t matter, she told herself, as she prepared to get into bed. I’ll be under the covers and it will be dark. He’ll never see me.
Just then she heard a thump and a loud curse from the bathroom.
She was out of bed in a second flat. “Oh my Goddess, Saber, are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?”
“I’m fine.” But his deep voice sounded strained, as though he was in some kind of pain.
“You don’t sound fine—you sound hurt,” she called anxiously.
“It’s nothing. Just these damn…ouch!”
This was too much. Without waiting to consider if she ought to do it, Lissa pushed her way into the bathroom.
Saber stood in the middle of the large space with his tight black pants halfway unzipped and a look of frustration and pain on his face.
“Saber?” She approached him cautiously. “What’s going on? Can I help you?”
He sighed. “Forgive me for all the noise. It’s these damn manacles. I had a hard time with them before but they seemed to have gotten worse. The minute I get my hands anywhere near my zipper, I get a shock.”
“The manacles!” Lissa put a hand to her mouth. “I can’t believe I forgot to ask Lady Sha’rak for the remote to remove them! Saber, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s all right,” he said dryly. “You were a little distracted, remember?”
“Of course.” Remembering that she’d been distracted by the feeling of him massaging her naked body and giving her the first orgasm she’d ever had, she couldn’t help blushing. But modesty wasn’t going to help her now. Quickly, she dropped to her knees in front of Saber and reached for his zipper.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” He took a big step back, his lower back hitting the large marble basin in the middle of the room.
“Helping you.” Lissa frowned up at him. “If you can’t get your pants off by yourself, you need help. What’s the problem?”
“There is no problem—nothing I can’t handle myself, anyway.”
Lissa burst out laughing. “But that’s exactly what you can’t do—handle yourself,” she pointed out. The whole situation was so ridiculous, she felt lighter than she had all evening.
“Well…” One corner of his mouth twitched. “It’s not funny, you know.”
“I know,” Lissa agreed, smiling back. “Come on, Saber, don’t be silly. It’s not like I haven’t seen you before. Haven’t, you know, touched you.” She could feel her cheeks getting hot again but she was determined not to back down.
Grudgingly, Saber nodded. “All right. Just be very, very careful of the zipper. That’s a delicate area down there.”
“Of course. I’ll be every bit as careful with your delicate areas as you were with mine.” The minute the words were out, she wished she could call them back. What had gotten into her, reminding him of all the forbidden things they’d been doing? But she couldn’t help herself—she felt like this mission was changing her. Maybe not for the better, but there was no helping that now.
Gently, very gently, she tugged at the zipper. She could see almost at once what the problem was—Saber was achingly hard, his shaft throbbing for release behind the too-tight trousers. The cruel silver teeth of the zipper were pressing hard into his flesh in what had to be an extremely painful way. If she wasn’t careful, some of the vulnerable skin was going to get caught as she pulled it down.
“Saber,” she said looking up at him. “I’m sorry but I’m afraid I’m going to have to, um, put my hand…I’m going to have to hold your um, you back, as I pull down the zipper or—”
“I understand.” His jaw was clenched. “Do what you have to do.”
“All right.” Still feeling awkward, Lissa slipped her hand into his half open trousers and cupped the warm, smooth shaft just as she had earlier that day during the “training” exercises Lady Sha’rak had put them through. Only this time it was just her and Saber with no one else criticizing or directing. Despite her rapidly beating heart, Lissa found she was considerably calmer under the circumstances.
It took some time and some careful maneuvering, but at last she had the zipper all the way down and Saber was free. But though his trousers were open, Lissa somehow found herself reluctant to stop holding his shaft. He felt so silky and hot in her hand and his scent was spicy and undeniably male. It made her feel almost dizzy with desire. Without thinking about i
t, she leaned a little closer and wrapped her fingers more firmly around his heated flesh.
“Um…Lissa?” Saber’s deep voice was hoarse and uncertain.
“Hmm?” She was still on her knees before him, studying the way her fingers wouldn’t quite wrap all the way around his cock. He was so big she wondered how he could ever use it to give anyone the Deep Touch. Unbidden, an image rose in her mind of herself pinned beneath Saber, her legs spread wide with the head of his cock sliding slowly inside her as he Touched her gently with his whisper-fingers.
The mental image should have horrified her—instead she felt warm and tingly all over. Her nipples were suddenly tight and her pussy throbbed. Goddess, what was wrong with her? Was his scent affecting her? Or was she just getting tired of being timid all the time?
Lately, even though Saber was supposed to be the “slave” in this situation, Lissa felt like she’d been taking orders from everyone. She wore the ridiculous dresses Kat had packed for her, let Lady Sha’rak boss her around, and even allowed herself to be touched and massaged in intimate, forbidden ways for the sake of their mission. Somewhere deep inside her, something seemed to be saying, Enough!
Suddenly it was like a switch flipped inside her. I’m tired of being afraid all the time, tired of apologizing for everything I do…for everything I want to do. We’re in a difficult situation here and I shouldn’t have to be sorry for doing what needs to be done.
“Lissa,” Saber said, breaking into her thoughts. “I…uh…you can let go now.”
“I guess I should, shouldn’t I?” She stroked him slowly up and down, just as Lady Sha’rak had taught her. “But as it happens, I’m not going to.”
“What?” Saber clearly couldn’t believe his ears.
“I said, I’m not going to,” Lissa repeated clearly.
“But you said we couldn’t,” he reminded her. “That we can’t—”
“We won’t,” Lissa said firmly. “But this is different. Look at you, Saber—you must be in pain from being so, um, so hard for so long. Well, aren’t you?” she added when he didn’t respond.
He frowned. “It’s… nothing I can’t stand.”
“But why should you have to stand it when I can help you? Just like you helped me.” Daring greatly, she leaned forward and let the warm shaft brush against her cheek.
Saber gave a hoarse groan and looked at her as though she’d lost her mind. “Lissa, just stop, please.”
“No.” She rose to her feet, still holding him in her hand and continued to stroke. “I want to help you, Saber, and I refuse to stop until…until you’re not hurting anymore.”
He shook his head. “Lissa, honestly, you don’t have to—”
She lifted her chin and stared him in the eyes. “But I want to. And I’m your mistress so you’ll do as I say.”
Saber’s eyes widened and a surprised smile quirked the corner of his mouth. “Yes, my lady,” he murmured at last. “What would you have me do?”
Lissa felt a thrill of triumph followed closely by a surge of uncertainty. But she was damned if she’d lose the upper hand so soon after she’d gained it.
“Get to the bed,” she ordered in the bossiest voice she could manage. “Lie down on your back and put your arms over your head. Uh, but first take your trousers off.”
Saber peeled off the slave trousers, being careful not to touch himself, and threw them to one side. Then he stood up completely naked and spread his arms. “You’re sure about this?”
Lissa’s pulse jumped when she looked at his large, muscular body. He was so much bigger than her, he towered over her and she had never seen him nude before. The sight was mouthwatering and more than a little imposing, but she struggled to keep her face impassive.
“I’m absolutely sure. Now go get on the bed.”
Saber did as he was told, climbing into the massive bed and lying down in the very center of it. He raised his arms over his head and gripped the bottom edge of the elaborately carved headboard. Then he looked at Lissa.
“Now what, Mistress?”
“Spread your legs,” Lissa commanded, still trying to sound demanding. “I need…need room to work on you.”
“Yes, my lady.” He complied, spreading muscular legs to leave himself completely vulnerable to her, just as she had been to him earlier. Lissa felt a surprising surge of excitement. She liked the idea of Saber being submissive this time, of him lying there, waiting for her to touch him, to give him pleasure.
What are you doing? whispered a little voice in her head. You just finished telling Saber that you shouldn’t touch each other this way.
Yes, but he’s in pain and he can’t help himself, she argued back. There were some lines she couldn’t cross—taking the Deep Touch from Saber was one of them. But surely no one could condemn her for easing his pain when he was unable to ease himself. When you put it that way, she sounded almost virtuous—like someone on a mission of mercy. Besides, she found that she liked being in charge. It was liberating to do what she wanted to do instead of what she thought she ought to do. I’ll just ease his torment and then we’ll go back to not touching unless we have to, she promised herself.
Feeling justified, Lissa climbed onto the bed and settled herself between Saber’s thighs. She took his thick shaft in one hand at once and then looked lower to study the heavy, round balls that hung within a little sack just beneath it. Something told her they were delicate—even more so than his shaft—so when she cupped them, she was careful not to be rough.
A low groan was drawn from Saber’s throat. “Gods…Lissa,” he gasped as she continued to fondle and stroke him. “So good…feels so good.”
“Call me Mistress,” Lissa commanded, feeling a new surge of confidence. She was doing it—she was giving Saber pleasure just as he had pleasured her earlier. It was a heady, addictive feeling—the knowledge that she had such a big, strong, muscular man completely at her mercy, cupped literally in the palm of her hand.
“Yes, Mistress,” he murmured, his eyes fixed on hers.
Lissa stroked him again, causing him to gasp and pump his hips. For a moment she could almost imagine what Lady Sha’rak felt when she “punished” Llewelyn. But no, Lissa told herself. She would never treat Saber the way Lady Sha’rak treated her body-slave. She would use her newfound power only to pleasure him, never to hurt.
What are you talking about? demanded the little voice in her head. This is a one-time thing—it’s not like you’re going to make a habit of it.
Except she might have to—at least in public. It was time she stopped shrinking away from the things she and Saber had to do in order to make their roles more believable and started embracing them. She should enjoy this time while it lasted. Because after they'd found the scrolls and gone home…but Lissa didn’t want to let her mind go there.
Instead, she concentrated on caressing Saber’s shaft, using long, slow strokes from root to tip until he was groaning softly and pumping his hips in time to the rhythm she set.
“Lissa,” he whispered. “Mistress, Gods that’s good.”
“And does it ease your pain?” Lissa asked softly.
“It will in a minute if you’re not careful.” Suddenly he half sat up and reached for her wrist, stopping the motion of her hand. “Lissa, do you know what’s going to happen when you, uh, when you fully ease my pain?”
“You’ll have an orgasm. Like you gave me.”
“Well, yes…” Saber looked uncomfortable. “But I’m afraid a male orgasm isn’t as, uh, neatly contained as a female one. Things are liable to get… messy.”
“I know the facts of life, Saber,” Lissa said impatiently. “Just because I’ve never, um, acted them out doesn’t mean I don’t know how a male and female come together.”
“All right. Sorry, Mistress.” He held up his hands and lay back on the bed. “Go on then. I just didn’t want you to be surprised.”
Or frightened, Lissa thought. He thinks I’m scared of him. Of his body. Because he’s different??
?male.
In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. Lissa wasn’t frightened of their differences—she was excited by them. From the first minute Lady Sha’rak had forced her to take Saber’s shaft in her hand, she’d been curious about the male body—about his body. She wanted to know him, to explore all of him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. But she especially wanted explore his “delicate areas”.
Daring greatly, she let the fingers that had been tickling the tender sack between his legs drift lower. Saber gasped and looked at her uncertainly when she stroked one finger down the short dip between the bottom of the sack and his nether entrance.
“Lissa?” He looked at her in wonder. “What…what are you doing?”
“Touching you. Exploring you.” Experimentally, she pressed just the tip of her finger to his tight entrance. “Does that feel good?”
“Incredibly good,” he admitted in a low voice. “But it’s not…I didn’t think you’d want to, you know, touch me there.”
“I want to touch you everywhere,” Lissa told him honestly. “I know I shouldn’t but I do.”
“I want you to as well.” His voice was tight and strained. “I felt the same way when I was touching you earlier.”
“You were so gentle with me,” Lissa stroked his cock again and pressed gently with her fingertip until he groaned and writhed.
“Lissa…Goddess!” he moaned.
“Mistress,” she reminded him primly.
A small droplet of pearly white liquid had appeared on the tip of his cock and Lissa wondered how it would taste. Somewhere inside her the shocked and frightened priestess she had been on First World protested that such a thought wasn’t modest or right but Lissa pushed it away. It seemed the farther she went down this road, the easier it was to ignore the scared little girl she used to be and embrace the woman she wanted to become.