Saber swiveled in his chair to see Merrick, the huge half Blood, half Beast Kindred striding toward him. He was absolutely the largest male Saber had ever seen—well, excluding the Beast who had been Lady Hake’bean’s slave on Yonnie Six, that was. Still, Saber couldn’t help being in awe of such a large and powerful male.
“Hello, friend.” Merrick smiled at him. “You’re the Touch Kindred everyone was so pissed about having on board before you got those lost scrolls and became a hero, right?”
“Right.” Saber turned back around and slumped in his chair. “Don’t remind me.”
“Sorry. Didn’t know it was a touchy subject.” Merrick sat down beside him and thumped the bar with his huge knuckles. “Hey, where’s the drink my friend ordered?” he demanded, glaring at the mechanoid.
“Your pardon, sir. But this gentleman is at his limit. I cannot serve him anymore,” the mechanical intoned hollowly.
“Fine then.” Merrick slapped a cred chip on the bar. “Give me a bottle of fireflower juice and two glasses and make it quick.”
“An entire bottle?” The mechanoid looked at him uncertainly. “But I am not programmed to sell an entire bottle at once. Unless the subject is over seven standard feet tall and weighs over three hundred pounds, there is no way he could safely metabolize so much alcohol.”
“Take a look at me.” Merrick gestured to himself. “I fit the fucking description, right?”
The mechanoid appeared to be scanning him and then doing a series of calculations. “Actually, you do.”
“Good. Then serve me one whole bottle of fireflower juice and two glasses. Now.”
Saber wasn’t sure if mechanoids were able to feel intimidation but this one certainly seemed to. It moved so fast serving the huge hybrid that its mechanical arms were little more than a blur. In short order an entire bottle of the milky white fireflower juice and two shot glasses were sitting in front of Merrick.
“Good.” The hybrid nodded in satisfaction. “Now go clean the other end of the bar and don’t bother me again unless I ask for more.”
“Oh, sir,” the mechanoid protested. “After serving you an entire bottle, there is no possibility of me serving you even more.”
Merrick glared at it for a long moment. “What the fuck did you say to me?”
If a mechanoid could look scared, this one certainly did. “I said…I will be over here cleaning the bar until you wish further libation, valued customer.” It eased carefully away and began cleaning the far end of the bar vigorously with a damp cloth.
“That’s better.” Merrick grinned at Saber and poured them both a drink. “Here you go—to drowning your sorrows.”
“To drowning my sorrows.” Saber clinked glasses with him—he enjoyed the Earth custom of saluting your drinking companions that he had picked up while staying on the Mother Ship.
Merrick downed his shot of the strong liquor in one gulp and poured himself another. “Although if you don’t mind me saying, I don’t see what sorrows you have to drown, friend. Since you brought back the scrolls that told how to defeat the enemy, you’re accepted and respected here on the ship. You could settle down here if you wanted to—you and that pretty little female who went with you.”
Saber frowned and took another sip of his own shot. He could feel the potent fireflower juice working on him and he didn’t want to say anything he would regret.
“Actually, that was exactly my plan,” he said, after giving it some thought. “But I can’t now.”
“Why?” Merrick downed another shot and refilled Saber’s glass as well. “If you don’t mind me asking,” he added.
“I don’t care.” Saber frowned. “I can’t always promise to answer but you can ask all you damn well want.”
“Okay.” Merrick took another drink. “So I’m asking. What’s wrong?”
“Why do you care?” Saber countered, taking another drink himself. He knew he should slow down but the fireflower juice was so smooth and mellow on his tongue he couldn’t seem to stop drinking it.
Merrick shrugged, his huge shoulders rolling. “I guess because you’re an outcast, like me. Not an outcast really but, you know…” He made a vague hand gesture. “Different. Even back when everyone was pissed off we let a Touch Kindred aboard, I wanted to get to know you. Just never got the chance until now.”
Saber gave him a look from the corner of his eye. “Must be hard—being the only one of your kind.”
“You tell me,” Merrick shot back. “I don’t know any other Touch Kindred who would have been willing to break his people’s taboos to go on a mission to Yonnie Six with the girl he loves.”
Saber frowned. “How…how can you tell I love her?”
“It’s written all over your face, Brother. Every time you look at her.” Merrick clapped him on the back and poured him another drink. “It hurts to see you so fucking miserable. And my Elise says your girl is hurting too. She’s moping around all the time, looking like she wants to die. So what is it that has the two of you so upset?”
Saber shook his head. “I…I can’t talk about it.”
“Sure you can.” Merrick poured him another drink. And another and another until Saber felt dizzy.
“I…” He shook his head as Merrick waited. “I can’t…” No matter how much he wanted to unburden himself, he couldn’t make himself explain the humiliating circumstances behind his split with Lissa.
“Just tell me,” the hybrid urged. “What exactly happened there on Strap-on Central that split the two of you up?”
Saber started and nearly fell out of his chair. He looked at Merrick in horror. “You…what did you just say?”
“What, you mean Strap-on Central?” Merrick grinned at him. “That’s just what we used to call Yonnie Six. I haven’t lived my whole life on the ship, you know. I used to be freelance—did a lot of smuggling. That was our nickname for that crazy planet.”
Saber felt sick. “So everyone knows…what goes on there?”
“Oh, I doubt it.” Merrick made a dismissive gesture and poured himself another drink. “Kindred steer clear of it. They have the right genetic combination to mate with us but the way they treat their males…” He shook his head. “Not fucking good.”
“I agree.” Saber sighed and took another drink himself. He tried to remember how many fireflower shots he’d had. Was it three? Five? More? Whatever the number, the alcohol seemed to be lubricating his mind. All the embarrassing, shameful memories he’d been trying to suppress suddenly came back. And then he heard himself say,
“I thought it would be no big deal.”
“Uh-huh.” Merrick nodded sympathetically and didn’t ask what wouldn’t be a big deal, which encouraged Saber to go on talking.
“It was the only way to get the scroll. And I thought I could handle it. I mean, I’d been acting like Lissa’s slave for days. I helped her get dressed, I fed her, massaged her…” The memory of rubbing her naked body all over until she came for him made Saber hard and he shifted uncomfortably. “Hell, I even got down on my knees and kissed her foot every time we went somewhere new. And I had no problem with it. None.”
“Doesn’t sound so bad,” Merrick said neutrally, pouring him another shot.
“That’s the thing—it wasn’t.” Saber drank the fireflower juice and sighed. “I really enjoyed it because it meant I got to be close to her, to touch her. But I was just playing a part. When we…did what we had to do to get the scroll…”
“It got real?” Merrick suggested.
Saber nodded. “Exactly. I just…I never expected it to feel so…so…damn good.” He could feel his face getting red and he took another hurried gulp of fireflower juice to cover his embarrassment.
“So let me get this straight…” Merrick took another drink too. “Lissa fucked you and you liked it and now you don’t know who you are or what’s wrong with you.”
“Exactly!” Saber put his elbows on the bar and cradled his head in his hands. “I…I shamed myself, Brother. You should have heard me—
I begged like a bitch in heat while she was…doing it to me.”
“So you broke it off because you couldn’t stand to look in her eyes knowing that she’d seen you that way—out of control. Needy. Fucking weak. Is that it?” Merrick demanded.
“It is.” Saber nodded. “What woman could respect or love a man after seeing him in such a position?”
“Well,” Merrick said casually, taking another drink. “I know Elise loves me.”
“What?” Saber looked at him in disbelief. “You don’t mean to say you two…”
“Not exactly.” Merrick laughed. “Although I wouldn’t be opposed to it—not after what happened during the days we were all body-swapped.”
Saber narrowed his eyes. “What exactly happened?”
Merrick grinned. “How much do you know about bonding fruit?”
“Um…” Saber frowned. “Isn’t that the fruit they give to females mated to Twin Kindred to help them, uh stretch for their mates?”
“Exactly. Or anybody else who needs a little help with our Kindred-sized shafts.” Merrick poured more fireflower juice into his shot glass and contemplated it. “Well, you’ve seen how petite Elise is and how big I am. So she eats the fruit on a regular basis.”
“Go on.” Saber nodded.
“Thing is…” Merrick drank a shot. “Bonding fruit also has an aphrodisiac quality to it. Which means whenever a female eats it, a few hours later she becomes horny as hell.” He looked at Saber. “And guess what Elise had for a midnight snack on the night we all switched bodies?”
“Goddess,” Saber murmured. “You mean…”
“Uh-huh.” Merrick nodded. “She’d eaten practically a whole bowl full of the damn stuff. I was so horny I was climbing the fucking walls. Or at least, the body I was in was horny.”
Saber cleared his throat. “So…what did you do?”
“What do you think I did, Brother? I gave it up for her.” Merrick got a faraway look in his mismatched eyes. “She must have had me in every possible position. Up against the wall, flat on my back, on my hands and knees…” He laughed. “While the rest of the ship was going crazy, the two of us were fucking like Blitherian bunnies. And you know what?”
“No,” Saber muttered, still stunned. “What?”
“I loved every fucking minute of it.” Merrick downed another glass and slapped it onto the bar. “It was the most amazing sexual experience of my entire fucking life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“I can’t believe it.” Saber looked at his massive drinking companion again. “But you’re…you’re…”
“In love with the female who fucked me. Same as you,” Merrick said mildly. “What’s the big deal?”
“I…” Saber shook his head, still trying to wrap his mind around the concept of the huge hybrid warrior happily giving himself to his female with no regrets. “I don’t know. But how can she respect…”
“Take it from me, showing emotion while you’re making love isn’t what makes your female lose respect for you,” Merrick growled. “What makes her lose respect is when you act like an asshole about it afterward because your fucking pride was hurt.” He pointed a finger at Saber. “This isn’t about her at all—it’s about you. Get over it and go apologize to her. Tell her you love her and that you want to be with her forever. Don’t lose her over one stupid little incident that neither one of you could help.”
“You’re right,” Saber whispered. “Goddess, I wonder if she can ever forgive me.”
“The way she looks at you? I think she’ll find a way,” Merrick said dryly.
Saber nodded at him. “You’ve opened my eyes. How…how can I ever thank you?”
“Just do right by your female.” Merrick shook his head. “There was a time I wanted to give up on Elise too, you know. But Sylvan wouldn’t let me—he was a true friend to me that day.”
“As you’ve been a true friend to me today.” Saber raised a hand in salute. “Thank you, Merrick. I’m going to do as you suggest and seek out my female.” He got out of his chair, staggered and almost fell.
“Whoa, there, Brother.” Merrick caught him under the arm and helped him back up. “I’m glad you’re going to go find her, but why not wait until tomorrow? You’re pretty drunk right now.”
“Tomorrow, it is,” Saber vowed. And though he was well past his limit, thanks to the fireflower juice, he knew that he meant it. He wasn’t going to let his hurt pride stand in the way of having the woman he loved. If the huge, hulking Merrick could give himself to his female and have no shame about it, Saber was certain he could feel the same.
Lissa, he thought, as he walked unsteadily out of the bar. I love you so much. I just hope I’m not too late to tell you.
Chapter Thirty-three
Lissa shifted nervously from foot to foot as she tried to work up the courage to knock. People walking by in the corridor looked at her curiously—or so it seemed to her—making her feel even more self-conscious. She wrapped the large overcoat Lauren had loaned her more tightly around her body and hoped no one had caught a glimpse of the more provocative outfit underneath.
Lauren had given her several different outfits to try on—most of them seemed to consist of some kind of black leather with lots of straps and buckles. But they felt uncomfortable and none of them seemed to work. Finally, Lauren shook her head.
“I just don’t think you’re the bondage slut type, honey. Let’s try something else. How about a naughty school girl look?”
“A naughty school girl?” Lissa looked at the short, ruffled skirt and the tight white, transparent blouse uncertainly. “What does that mean?”
“It’s a male fantasy,” Lauren explained, smiling. “And believe me, the male doesn’t have to be from Earth to get it. Xairn loves it and he’s Scourge, as you know.”
“What do I have to do?” Lissa asked, as she wiggled into the tiny, short skirt and the tight blouse. It seemed to be missing a few buttons because it barely covered the curves of her breasts. But even leaving out from the missing buttons, it almost seemed irrelevant, since her nipples were clearly visible through the mostly translucent fabric. There didn’t appear to be any panties to match the short green skirt that barely came down to her upper thighs. There were, however, some innocent looking white thigh-high hose, which almost met the bottom of her skirt. Little black shoes Lauren called “Mary Janes” completed the outfit.
“Just act like you’ve been bad and you know you deserve a punishment,” Lauren instructed. “Tell him you need to be spanked.”
“Spanked?” Lissa looked at her in alarm. “Really?”
“Well, if spanking isn’t your thing, just tell him you need to be punished. Sexually,” Lauren emphasized with a grin. “Get down on your knees and nuzzle your face against his shaft. Or climb on the bed on all fours and present yourself to him. Let him know he’s in charge.”
Lissa bit her lip. “What if…what if he doesn’t want me? What if he turns me away?”
“Well, then at least you know you’ve given it your best shot and you can move on. But look at yourself, honey!” Lauren put an arm around her shoulders and turned her until Lissa was staring at a full length viewer. “You’re gorgeous,” Lauren emphasized softly. “He’d have to be out of his mind to turn you down.”
Lauren looked at herself, the tight shirt barely containing her breasts, the tiny skirt threatening to reveal her pussy at any moment and her long blonde hair with its jade streaks falling free around her shoulders. The outfit was almost as revealing as the ones she had worn on Yonnie Six but less elaborate. And somehow, more alluring. Or she thought so, anyway.
“I guess I do look pretty,” she admitted at last. “But this…what I’m about to do, is so forward. No self-respecting female of my clan would go to a male’s domicile and offer herself like this.”
“No female would date a male of her own clan either though, would she?” Lauren asked. “If you can get past that, you can deal with being a little bit aggressive. Besides, once y
ou get inside his place, you’re going to be the sweetest little sub anybody ever saw. Just call him Master and ask him to punish you—believe me, you’ll get results.”
Lissa had agreed to the plan and wrapped herself in the large overcoat before venturing over to Saber’s suite. And now, here she stood in front of his door, trying to remember what she was supposed to do.
She raised her hand to knock…and put it down again. Goddess, what was she doing here? Was she crazy? Saber didn’t want her anymore—why was she throwing herself at him like this? Just look at you, whispered a little voice in her head. Standing here in a public hallway with hardly anything on under that stupid coat. What would the people passing by think if they knew what you were going to do? What would the people back home think? What would—
Just then the door slid open, revealing Saber. He was dressed in his best uniform—black flight pants and a deep purple shirt buttoned up to his chin. There was a determined look on his face and he was holding a bouquet of sweet smelling, exotic blossoms from Earth in one hand. When he saw Lissa standing there, his look of determination melted into one of surprise.
“Lissa?” he said uncertainly. “Are you all right? Why are you here?”
“Can I come in?” Lissa asked desperately. Standing out in the public corridor wearing next to nothing under the bulky overcoat was frazzling her nerves. “Unless you’re going somewhere,” she added belatedly, realizing he had been about to step out.
“Oh no. I mean, I was but…I don’t really need to now. Please, come in.” He ushered her into the suite and shut the door behind her. “Is everything all right?” he asked, putting the bouquet down carefully.
“Of course. It’s fine, everything’s fine.” Lissa drew the coat closer around herself. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she remember anything Lauren had told her? Why wouldn’t her frozen mind thaw and tell her what to do?
“So…you just came by to say hello?” He looked at her quizzically.
“Yes, I… No.” Lissa took a deep breath and lifted her chin. It’s now or never, she told herself sternly. The worse he can do is say no. You have to at least try!