As I was doing all this thinking, all this down-to-earth reminiscing, everything around me went still. I mean non-moving, like suspended from any activity. And silent. But maybe that was just my perception. Because, when I came back to awareness, the others were there, thinking their own thoughts, I guess.
I heard David mumbling, and kind of shrugging his aura. “Well, that’s ridiculous,” he said. It took me a moment to remember that Salvador had asked him if he wanted two men to raise him, if he went back to Earth as a girl.
“You could give it a try,” Gail said. “Maybe gender isn’t the dividing factor that humans make it out to be. Maybe you’d learn a lot about men-women relationships that way.”
“There are lots of things in the current societies on Earth that are changing. Even though there’s lots of wars and misunderstandings, and religious intolerance, there’s also a lot more knowledge about the human body, and about the history of Earth, and new technologies that make for some very interesting possibilities.”
“Then why do you want to wait a couple thousand years?” David challenged. “You said things were going to get better, but they were pretty bad right now.”
“Well,” Ruth hedged. “I like it here, actually. I like sitting in on these groups that start planning their next lives, and Counselor has helped me understand more what lives on Earth are for. There are so many different life-stories. So many different goals that an individual might choose. I’ve been here long enough to see people leave for Earth with their life-plan all laid out, and come back here after it was achieved, and often when it was not. It’s become such a routine that I am amazed at how fearful those on Earth are of what they call death. Such tales they tell to frighten each other. And that’s one big problem with religion, or so-called religion. At least religion in the darker ages. Humans get all bloated up about their “selves,” making boundaries around their bodies as if they were limited to a little space around the body they are in. And oh how they want to be like everybody else.” She laughed. “Except when they start dividing up into groups, and naming this group workers, and that group warriors, a third group business and intellectuals, and a fourth rulers. Then they start insisting that a human in one of those groups can’t change to another group. It’s like herding sheep. Or goats. From here, it looks insane.”
Counselor let Ruth talk. She had a serene look about her.
Ruth continued. “In one sense those divisions just describe what happens in evolution. A soul comes into being as a new ray of the One, then quickly gets enamored with the idea that he/she/it can be a being all to itself, without recognizing the One as the very Source of his being a being.” She laughed again and giggled in a sort of apology of her attempt at being humorous in her repetitions. “So,” she went on, “to enlighten this being who has fallen into the delusion that he/she/it is independent and separate, and thus prone to fear, anxiety, and a puffed-up ego that insists on doing life all on its own, we send Someone who suggests what they really are, a child of the One. Generally, by that time, these independents are so into their delusion that they simply scoff at the suggestion.”
At this point I remembered again my own mother calling me “miss independence” and how strongly I wanted to be my own self-dependent woman. If an aura can blush, I must have been doing that. Ruth wasn’t looking at me exactly, but her words sure were.
“Or,” Ruth went on, “and this was what I intended to say, some of those goats that see themselves as leaders take on the idea that what they say is the Truth. They devise rules and regulations that determine exactly what an individual must do to be saved from that fear they’ve developed. Of course, that just increases the fear and anxiety. It’s one thing to devise the Ten Commandments, and another to explode them into 120. It’s one thing to point out the need for disciplining the body and mind in order for them to perform at maximum efficiency, and another to threaten total destruction to your being if you slack off and just be, for a while.” Ruth paused and sighed. “I’m getting too complicated,” she said, adjusting the aura around her ‘shoulders,’ like a shawl that had slipped a little.
“Specifically, it’s the leaders of the Jews, and later the so-called Christians, that told Jesus he was a heretic and were so infuriated that they killed him. I mean, he was killed physically after his thirty years on Earth. But his message has been killed ever since by those who don’t understand his message of love and forgiveness, and the kingdom of Oneness being within. Those who put down all the rules for salvation are simply putting up barriers. So, I’m waiting to go back when more people have become aware of what being one with the One means. Some individuals are saying even now that ‘we are all One,’ but how many really understand what that feels like?” Then she turned toward Gail and reminded her of what they saw through the window.
Gail smiled. “Well, that’s what we’re getting at, isn’t it? The group in that co-operative were trying to live in such a way that they would feel ‘we are all One.”
Ruth nodded. “Right. And if you here want to go look through that window, maybe we could get Counselor to take us. Is anyone interested?”
By that time, my curiosity had been aroused and I answered yes. Salvador and David both gave a slight nod—Salvador more enthusiastically than David.
Counselor looked at our group, apparently evaluating our interest and readiness for such a venture. Then David began to scowl. We all looked at him.
“What?” Counselor said. “You have a question?”
“I think I may get what Ruth is saying, but I’m not sure. Like the Christian group I knew,” he said, then paused. “They had rules. And definite beliefs. They divided people into groups. They had this idea that Jesus was Savior and came here to take away all your sins if you only believed that he did. Then they had a whole list of sins. And you had to agree that that’s what they were. And sometimes that just didn’t seem right. Especially when I didn’t understand why I had this really strong desire sometimes to try on my sister’s dress that made her look so pretty. I just wanted to know what it felt like to be her. You know, lipstick and that make-up around her eyes that made them look so big and strong. I did that sometimes and just felt the power that took over. How could that be such a sin? It really hurt when I was told I’d go to hell, and they made hell to be something really, really awful. But I’m here, and it’s not so awful, so they must have really been mistaken. Weren’t they?” He gave us all a quick glance before looking into the distance as if he might find trouble coming at him.
I must admit I was a bit shocked, because David had never actually said this about trying on women’s clothes. I wasn’t sure whether he thought he wanted to be a girl, or was just jealous that to him they seemed to get more of what they wanted.
“You don’t have to go to the window if you’re not ready,” Counselor said in a very gentle way. “I’d suggest you stay here. I’ll call over another counselor or two to be with you. Would that be all right?”
He nodded. I felt a bit sorry for him. I wondered if this meant he would be sent to another group. It was all very curious. Curiouser and curiouser as Alice in Wonderland had said.
* * *